"Cloud...er, Serge! You're late!"

Cloud looked at Leena. "Oh. Aeris. You're in this too, huh? Well, I was busy robbing innocent people of their possessions. Lookit what I got!" He held up a mechanical device. "A couple a' people were traveling through time, and I lifted this offa 'em!" He looked at it. "Chrono Trigger. Huh. I wonder what that is."

"Cloud, will you shut up a minute so I can talk to you!"

"Huh. You're one to talk."

"Shut...UP!! Thanks." She grinned. "That's better. Anyway, you're here because your head got too swollen. You must play through the entire game of Chrono Cross. Several characters from Final Fantasy 7 have been transported here in place of Chrono Cross characters...Cloud? Cloud!"

He snapped awake. "Huh? Oh, sorry. Your lecture was like that story in the Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. You just can't stay awake. So, I guess you'll have to get me an all-night mask."

Aeris smacked him on the back of the head. "Shut up and get me Komodo Scales!"

"Oww...Okay, okay! Jeez!" He rubbed the back of his head. He backed slowly away from Aeris, then when he judged himself far enough away, he broke and ran.

"What the hell was with that! No random battles?" He shook his head. "What have these games come to."

He ran right into one of the Komodos. "Oww!"

The screen swirled around and the battle theme cued up. Cloud looked down. "What...the...hell. My sword is an oar. An oar!"

"Um, excuse me, Mister Spikey-haired dude?"

Cloud looked at the Komodo. "Whaddaya want?"

"Um, if I give you a couple of scales, will you jus' leamme 'lone?"

Cloud looked down. "Sure, why not?"

He took the scales and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god. I don't have to do this fetch-quest."

However, just for fun, he pushed the Komodo down and stole all its money.

"Clo- Serge! Sorry I'm late!"

Cloud looked at Aeris. "You better be! You know how long I've been waiting here? Twenty minutes! I'd be dead if I was playing-"

"Enough about the damned Majora's Mask!" She cleared her throat, blushed, and let out a coquettish laugh. To cover her losing her mask of sweetness-

"Or Majora!"

Shut up, Cloud. You aren't supposed to interact with the narrator.


As I was saying, to cover losing her mask of sweetness, she stared at the beach. "It's been a long time since we were on this beach, huh, Serge?" There was a long pause. "Serge? Fine, Cloud?" Still no response. She looked over as a loud snore came from our spikey hero. She smacked him on the back of the head.

He snorted, then came awake. "You really gotta keep me awake during these things."

She scowled, then sat down. "Remember our promise so many years ago?"

"That was with Tifa."

She smacked his leg so that he ended up face-down in the sand. He got back to his feet. "Um..."

"Just play along, peabrain!" She repeated her earlier pattern. "Now, remember our promise?"

"Of course I remember our promise, Aeris," he said in a dull monotone with his fingers crossed. "Now if y- owwww! Whad'I do this time?"

"First of all, at the moment, I'm not Aeris. Second, you have to put a little life into it!"

Cloud patted his hair not covered by the bandanna, pursed his lips, and said in a falsetto voice, "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Deville."

Aeris knocked him into the ocean, where he drowned, creating a third world in which it became a peaceful utopia until a rip in the space-time continuum caused aliens, eight basilisks, the populace of Atlantis, fifteen mages, a good L. Ron Hubbard book, and Santa Claus to come through and destroy the world.

Now, now, I know what you're all thinking, and you're absolutely right.

A utopia isn't possible.

But we're dealing with this world, right? Anyway, Cloud swum back to shore and frowned at Aeris. "Whaddaya doin'? I coulda drowned!"

"You did."


Aeris smacked him again. "I hate it when you do that!"


"That's the wrong game, anyway!"


"It's not physically possible to do that!"




Suddenly, there was a call from a mysterios source. "Serge..."

In response, Cloud said a very eloquent and dignified, "..."

And then Aeris's head exploded. Literally. The shock waves knocked Cloud into another world. As he lost consciousness, he heard the call again.

"Serge...It's a kick in a glass."