Dear Adoring Fans,
Thank you so much for loving me! It's because I'm so cool, right--
Dear Hetalia Fandom,
Japan has just informed me that it wasn't my fan club, but everyone's fan club. Do I have a special fanbase I can talk to? I want to talk with cool people and watch my dramas with them!
So I read all of the others' letters (I invented mailboxes so it was pretty easy to get them), so I guess I should write about how you guys depict me.
Well, I guess the first thing I should address is all of this "breast-grabbing". I don't do things like that all the time! I mean, I've done it a few times to Japan and Aniki, but that's all! I don't claim everyone's breasts, just my brothers. And it's just for fun! I'm not in love with them, or anything. (But I'm pretty sure Aniki has a crush on me. Maybe now he'll do XXX with me?)
I looked at your "Hetalia Kink Meme" and read a couple of fanfictions there. (about me, of course! I'm the most interesting, daze.) In a few of them people paired me with this weird blond guy...Canoe...Canah...Canada? Who is that? I've never met anyone like that!
I also noticed that you guys think I take credit for things that aren't mine. Did Japan tell you that? He's lying, of course, and you guys should know that! Plus, Japan is really weird and keeps copying my manhwa and dramas. (Besides, he's the creep that invented condoms!) I just make lots of cool stuff that makes everyone else steal my ideas! I can't stop their vicious jealousy when I never even invented jealousy.
Oh, one last thing! I was looking at fanfictions with me and Aniki, and I was shocked! You always say that Aniki doesn't like me and that I get all depressed over it. Aniki totally loves me, he's just bad at communicating. So tsundere~ And I don't get depressed! Never! You guys all make me sound like a baby, and I'm not a baby. But babies are still really cute, don't get me wrong.
Don't forget to draw and write about me more!
Forever your Big Bro,