Heya, my lovely readers.
I hope you've all had an amazing Christmas. I know I have so MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I know its been a little while but I have three stories is progress on here not to mention my own story none twilight related to try and write so I apologise.
Thanks to pastel roses for all her help and inspiration for this chapter and very other chapter I've written. Love you loads!
I hope you enjoy this chapter as I have writing it. Xxxxxx
I seriously recommend listening to "Nobody Home" by Metric when reading this. Maybe on repeat for a few times :) Jokes. Just listen xx
I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer. Okay Edward belongs to me a little. ;) xx
It had been nearly a month since Edward had turned up, given me my heart back and stole it and ran away. Again. And it hurt just as much as the first time. Maybe worse. In any case I was nearly as bad as last time, which wasn't helping Charlie much. Or . . . Jacob.
He'd had been just as supportive as the first time. No surprise there. I think he would be as supportive no matter how many times something like this happens. He had held me and let me cry for hours before Charlie came home when he took me up to my bed before explaining what had happened to Charlie. After lying with me in my bed for endless hours I finally fell asleep and I woke to find him there. I had thought it all a dream but then reality hit me and I broke down again, with Jacob there to comfort me.
I hadn't touched the package he'd left behind. I didn't want to feel anymore pain. What I was going through now was enough to make me clutch the hole in my chest which was larger and excruciatingly painful. I was so curious as to what he could have wanted me to have. But I refused to open it. I wouldn't open it even if my life depended it because the pain wasn't worth it. Death would be easier. But I had Charlie and Jacob to think about when I felt like that. When I felt like death would be the better alternative to this pain. But I knew I didn't have the guts or courage to do that. And I didn't want to think of what it would do to Charlie or Jacob.
I literally did nothing now. I had graduated and applied for the nearest college and was waiting for my acceptance letter. If it didn't come I still had my job at the store which would keep me going. So apart from going to work every three days I sat in my room on a chair and stared out my window. Hoping to see something that would bring me comfort. Him. Hopefully.
Jacob stopped by everyday to see me. To try and heal me again. He had had a set back in the "Plan to Heal Bella" department and it was taking a toll on both of us. I was snapping easily at Jacob whenever we talked and he would shout at me, bring him up and I would break down in tears. This day usually ended up with me and Jacob apologising and then him holding me while I cried out as much of the pain I was holding onto as possible.
I picked up my book off my nightstand and turned over and sat up to see Jacob curled up, his breath slow and deep, his eyes closed and his hands resting under his cheek. He looked so peaceful. The most he'd looked in about a month. He'd been so stressed out about me after he had left again that I doubt he got a goodnights sleep with me next to him. Wondering what time I would wake up screaming again? Or would I call out for him in my sleep and beg him to come back? These are the things which kept me from falling asleep. I would purposely stay awake so I didn't disturb my dad or Jacob in the night. So I didn't worry Jacob about how I was coping.
I sighed quietly and slipped out of bed slipping on my dressing gown as I headed for my closet. Searching for my hiking books wasn't a very quiet activity, as much as I had been hoping for it to be. Grabbing my jacket, jeans and long sleeved thermal I tiptoed out of my room and into the bathroom to change. I had been debating about this idea every night for the past week, listing the pros and cons. How much it would hurt. What would Jacob do if he found out. Which he was bound to when he woke up. All these things had been running through my head and it was only now as I had been reading my book that I realised I needed to do this. I needed to find the meadow again.
Now the amount of pros didn't outweigh the cons so I knew that this wasn't the best thing to be doing right now. The amount of pain that it would cause would be hard to deal with, like last time. Even though I wish Jacob could come with me I needed to be by myself when I did this, when I went there. After getting dressed without knocking anything over in the bathroom, luckily, I tiptoed back into my room grabbed my bag and the book on my nightstand before kissing Jake's cheek and walking swiftly but quietly out of the house.
My truck obviously didn't help with my keeping quiet plan and I saw a light flicker on in the house. Jacob was completely out of it so it was probably Charlie. But that didn't stop me from flooring it as soon as I'd reversed out of the drive. I wasn't taking any chances. I drove out of town until the sidewalk ended and it was just dirt. I parked and saw the trail. I knew we head away from it somewhere in between two dark sycamores so that's the direction I headed in.
After tripping over the same log I had last year and slipping on a rock that I knew I had definitely seen before - even though most rocks around here looked the same - I was convinced I was headed the right way. I clambered in pretty much the same direction, until I saw a row of trees ahead and a dim light coming from in between them. It was then I rushed towards the light slipping many times before finally reaching the edge of the trees and looking out into the most beautiful place I had ever seen. The place I had missed the most.
I walked slowly into the meadow, admiring the flowers and the small amount of sunlight that was lighting up certain areas of the meadow. I could hear the stream nearby and I sighed, smiling slightly at how much it hadn't changed. The lush green grass, the colourful variation of flowers, the heavenly scent of them, the warm relaxing rays of sun, the tall trees which protected my little haven and even the small patch of grass which I remembered sitting in with him.
I closed my eyes and just took everything in. I didn't want to stare for fear of reality crashing down on me, so I listened and felt, and smelt. I stayed like that for ages before I opened my eyes and sank to the floor in the same patch of grass as the first time I was here. I took off my jacket and stuffed it in my bag before pulling out my book and opening it to read from where I had left off this morning. My hand brushed the package he had left and I pulled it out, resting it on the grass next to me near my bag before turning to my book. Before I knew it I had fallen asleep.
My eyes fluttered open and the sun was literally blinding me now. The meadow was well and truly lit and I strained my eyes as I rolled over onto my back to stare at the sky. It was then, when I saw a shadow next to me. I jumped up immediately and stared in shock at the figure who held the package in his hands. I didn't know what to say, what to do, I was completely frozen to the spot. I stared at his face and the pain that was clearly there, in his black eyes. The pain that was clearly written on his face broke my heart and I found myself falling to my knees next to him.
He was sitting up, his legs crossed, the package now resting in his lap. He seemed to reach out to me but then dropped his hand at the last minute and sighed, staring into my eyes. There was something in his face, his eyes, that made me want to cry. The hurt that was swimming in his eyes broke me and everything I was trying to hold in. I knew I shouldn't touch him, I shouldn't try to tell him how I felt or how much he'd hurt me when he left, for the second time. But all my resolve and restrictions just flew out of the window when I saw him, when I saw the obvious ache in his face and the black orbs that were his eyes. So I reached out to him and stroked his cheek softly, waiting to see what pain would hit me first.
But nothing did.
If anything the pain I had been feeling for the past month seemed to ease, fade away with just a touch.
He automatically leaned into my touch and brought his hand up to cover mine on his cheek. I managed to crack a smile. Everything seemed so perfect. I didn't feel pain, just love for the bronze haired boy in front of me. I brought my other hand up to his neck and rested it there, stroking the skin there, and then messing with the collar of his light blue shirt.
His other hand reached out to my waist and he pulled me gently into his lap. I sighed and smiled at him when his other hand, the hand which had covered my own, went to the edge of my hair and he started to mess with a strand of it.
I don't know how long we sat like that but soon the sky started to dim and the light which flooded the meadow was now a dim orange, telling us it was time for us to go. I sighed and stared into his eyes as he pulled me closer to him resting his head on my heart like the first time we had sat in the meadow. I smiled at the irony of it and kissed his head.
Nothing needed to be said. His presence alone told me everything I needed to know. He loved me, he still wanted me and nothing was going to change that just yet. I knew everything other than why he'd left the second time and why he'd come back. I knotted my fingers in his hair and brought his face up to meet mine. I smiled slightly and blushed at my sudden confidence as I brought my lips to his. He smiled against them as I kissed him and then he kissed me back and everything was perfect.
I was the one to pull away and I pushed him back onto the grass before resting my head on his chest and staring up at the sky. Watching the sun make it's final performance before disappearing behind the horizon. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead, tracing circles on our joined hands on his chest. I closed my eyes for a second and took everything in and realised how much I really needed him. He seemed to be able to read my mind and whispered in my ear,
"I love you."
"I love you too." Was my reply.
I knew then - for definite - that nothing was going to spoil this now.
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Thank you to all who have continually read my story and are going to follow this through to the end. Thank you again to Pastelroses for her unbelievablky amazing help as always.
Thanks to all the stories which have also inspired me xxx