Disclaimer: I do not own Instant star.

This is my first fanfiction, so I would really welcome your review constructive criticism.

I had the idea in my head for a long time now and finally found the time to write it down.

Summary: After Patsy's dead Jude was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and her father and Darius sent her to New York, where she tries to find herself again. In the process she meets new people, who help her heal again and become her friends and one of them even something more...

Have fun reading!

'Stupid idea, stupid idea' was the only thought running through Jude's head as she opened yet another box with stuff she had to unpack. Why again had she had the idea to move 3000 miles from home at the age of 17? All alone in a big city with millions of strangers, in a foreign country? Oh yeah, because she felt like she was getting cabin fever at home and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. That's why.

It had been beyond question for everyone that she needed a vacation, which of course was highly impractical so shortly before her last year in high-school, but her boss ,Darius the big hip hop mogul, had pulled some strings and she was free to do what she wanted at least for a few months and only if she hired a tutor.

When her father had asked her where she wanted to go, she had seen a report about NY only a day before and decided to go there without any thoughts. It was perfect for her, the language was the same, she had found an apartment easily -although Darius certainly had pulled a few more strings- and she was a nobody in America. What she hadn't considered however was that all the people who could support her would stay behind and she wouldn't only be a nobody, but nothing at all.

The tab driver, who had driven her from the airport to her apartment hadn't even helped her lifting her luggage into the trunk. At least the moving company had already brought all her stuff into her new apartment and they had even set up her furniture and she only had to put her things into the right places.

She opened the next box and stopped dead in her tracks, on top of what seemed to be her albums and her journals laid a CD, carefully picking it up she stared at it intently. The title said 'Shooting Star' and the picture was of a girl screaming into a microphone, her hair flying wildly around her. 'Patsy'! She was the reason for her dilemma, for her almost breakdown.

She had worked for the same record company as Jude and they had hit it off from the beginning. Patsy had been different from other girls in the business, she had been...well there was only one word to describe her: crazy. She hadn't cared about what other people thought and had only done what she'd liked. Jude had somehow envied her for her independence and had enjoyed spending time with her, as then she'd felt free herself, all her worries had been blown away by the wind in her hair when they sped down the highway.

Sadly this independence had cost Patsy her life, as the record company had changed her song into a more mainstreaming one, when Patsy had found out she had been pissed and had got drunk with Jude on her tail. They had spent the day together and Patsy had seemed fine again, until they had met Patsy's ex-boyfriend Jamie, who had been Jude's best friend back then. Then Patsy had taken off again, this time alone and had ended wrapped around a pylon. This had made Jude doubt everything she had ever known, Jamie's accusation that she was to blame for Patsy's dead had made her even doubt herself.

In the end she hadn't even known anymore if her songs were really what she wanted them to be or if she had let herself been manipulated by what other people wanted to hear. Was she also a victim of the industry? She hadn't been able to answer that question and it had preyed on her mind. So much that she hadn't been able to sleep anymore let alone write songs.

A few weeks after Patsy's funeral she had only been a shadow of herself and her father had drawn a line and had contacted Darius and her school to give her a break. A week later her father and Darius had arranged everything and her father and sister had sat her in a plane to New York.

Jude glanced at the CD for the last time and put it back into the box, before heaving the box under her bed, where it would stay until she made up her mind, if she would return to the music industry or quit. Because she had told Darius from the beginning that she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to record again, not when she had seen what the industry could make out of a person.

After finishing unpacking two hours later, having all her music equipment put under her bed or in the back of her closet, she felt exhausted on her new couch and closed her eyes, feeling all her muscles relax and the fatigue from the last day day drain from her, she felt in a deep slumber.

When Jude opened her eyes again, she was disorientated and needed a minute to figure out where she was. She slowly got up and stretched, glancing at the clock on her TV, she cursed and grabbed her phone from the couch table. She had promised to call Sadie as soon as she had finished packing and now it was already 10 pm. She opened her phone and surely there were 7 missed calls from Sadie and Kwest. She quickly dialled the familiar number and waited.

"Jude Elizabeth Harrison, where the hell were you? I was freaking worried." came the hysteric voice of her sister out of the phone. "I've waited hours for your call. I thought you were lying in some gutter injured or dead."

"Hello to you too." Jude said interrupting her sister's nervous rambling.

She heard Sadie taking a deep breath and then replying in a calmer voice.

"Sorry, Jude. I was just freaked out." She explained. "How are you? How was your flight? Are you already finished?"

"I'm okay, just tired and hungry. The flight was okay, you know first class is really growing on me." Jude said and Sadie chuckled, relaxing again, and listened to her sister telling her about her first few hours in New York. From what she could hear, Jude was missing them, but she was sure she would eventually be fine and have a great time and would hopefully find her spirit in the progress again.