I love you so much but it hurts


Title: Sweet Deception

Summary: Jacob can't handle being with Edward, when it means always coming in second to Bella.

Author: Property of Professor Snape

Rating: T

Characters: Jacob Black Edward Cullen

Word Count: 535

Genres: Hurt/Comfort Angst

Warnings: Involves slash

Disclaimer: I do not, have not, and will not ever own Twilight.

A/N:This is a Valentine's Day gift for my friend Sasujonedward, who's all obsessed with Twilight and loves this couple. So here's to you Sasujonedward, and sorry about them being ooc but it was necessary to the plot.


Jacob was near his breaking point, he couldn't take it anymore, couldn't take being with Edward. He couldn't take having the other so close to him, telling him how much he loved the werewolf, touching him, kissing him. He couldn't take knowing that when it was all said and done Edward would be going back home to Bella, and he would be all alone.

He couldn't take having to smell her all over his Edward, couldn't take knowing that they had to cut all of their little trysts short because of Bella. He couldn't take how much it hurt to see them together, couldn't take knowing how much it would hurt Bella if she knew about them. He wanted it all to end, wanted Edward to just go away and leave him alone, and yet he wanted more all at the same time.

"Just go away" he heard himself say to Edward "I don't want you anymore. I don't want any of this anymore. Just. Leave. Me. Alone." It hurt so much to say these words but he would anyway because they needed to be said. "Are you deaf now leech can't you hear me anymore" Jacob felt like crying, especially when Edward took him into his much colder arms and held him close.

"I'm not going anywhere Jacob" he heard Edward whisper softly into his ear, and he could feel himself crying as he held tightly on to Edward.

"I told you to leave" there was no malice behind his words, only desperation because he knew it was no use. Edward would never let him go, because he knew that Edward could here all those words he wouldn't say, all those words he couldn't say.

"Don't touch me"

'Please don't let go, never let go'

"What about Bella?"

'Forget about Bella, I want you here with me'

"I don't want you anymore"

'I need you'

"Go away"

'Please don't leave me I'd go crazy without you'

"I hate you"

'I love you so much but it hurts'

Edward held on tighter feeling disgusted with himself, for putting Jacob through this, he never wanted to anyone, especially not his werewolf. "Please don't say that" he whispered softly "Don't say that when you don't mean it. And I know you don't mean it Jacob. I know" he held tighter still.

"Of course I don't mean" Jacob snapped no real bite behind his words he felt to hollow for that "I don't want to love you anymore but I do" he whimpered

"Why not" Edward asked "Why don't you want to anymore"

"Because it hurts" Jacob cried "It hurts to see you with her, it hurts to know that you'll never love me the same way. Every time I see you with her and I wish it was me and it hurts" he was sobbing louder now "I just want you to get rid of her, I just want you all to myself."

"I will Jacob for you I'd do anything" Edward reassured him

"Will you really" Jacob asked his every word laced with hope.

"Yes. I'll do it tonight" Edward promised.

"Do you really mean that" Jacob asked

"Anything for you Jacob, anything for you" he repeated softly in the werewolf's ear.

But it was a lie and they both knew it

A/N: Alright so that turned a lot more depressing then I thought it would but oh well.