I do not own Twilight. I just mess with Stephanie Meyer's characters and have a little fun with them before sending them home... where they inevitably need therapy. For me, as a huge history buff, Jasper is really my favorite fan. The Civil War and post-colonial america is an era of particular interest for me so Jasper was the interview I was most excited and most nervous about doing. I've done a lot studying to get this as close to realistic as possible - including a trip through the "Dictionary of Civil War Lingo." I hope y'all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed putting all the time and effort into it.

This was beta'd by the one and only TheRealTeacher. She's a great beta and an even greater friend.

Hey Jasper, have you fed recently?

Uh, yeah.

Do you have some time for a few questions?


What is the funniest thing you have ever done with your powers?

Wow. It's hard to pick just one thing. I've made Emmett come really hard while watching a chick flick with Rose, after he gave my cell phone number to some girls at school who had a crush on me. He told them that I was thinking of dumping Alice and I was about to be on the rebound. Next thing I know I can't get my cell phone to stop ringing, so I had to get him back. Rose looked at him so funny after that.

I've made Alice come in class while we were holding hands but that's not really funny.

I've made Edward flirt with girls in the lunch room. That was a while back and he threatened Alice's life after that so I never did it again. I vote for that one. I think making Edward flirt with all those girls was the funniest. The look on his face, while he wanted to just shut up and walk away but he kept saying all kinds of flattering, flirting things just made me lose it. I was laughing so hard Alice was afraid I was going to break the table. Then again, she was laughing too. I think that's the first time I ever made Rose laugh. We hadn't been with the Cullen's but a decade max at that point and I finally got her to crack a smile. That's definitely the funniest.

In the story y'all tell everyone, you and Rose are twins. How do you feel about that? What kind of relationship do you have with Rose? Do you have a special bond with her because of the cover story?

I guess it's just whatever we have to do to go unnoticed. It doesn't really faze me. After I made her laugh that one time, well, we've been friends. Rose is really personal and doesn't let people in easily. It took almost a decade to get her to accept me. Now, I think she sees it as something that makes her special. In this whole story of who we "are", we all have siblings and such, but only she has a twin (accept me, of course). It's a really easy, really good way for her to get to keep her human name and to explain away the two blonds.

Okay, don't tell anyone I told you this, especially Rose or she'll kill me. We have a good time, together, laughing at the idiots that will scrunch up their faces and squint their eyes and then come out with something like, "Yeah, I can see that you two are most definitely related. You two look so much alike." I swear, people don't really see things when they look. It's so funny. I'm not much into cars but I can appreciate a job well done, so we'll make fun of these morons while she's working on the cars and I'll just kind of sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet. She doesn't feel the need to always have to talk while we're sitting out there so she can do her thing and I can read a book or something and we'll just laugh at stupid people as we think of them. It's great.

We've heard from Emmett – of course – and Esme that Rose isn't as cold and mean as she comes off sometimes. Would you agree with this assessment? How is she not like that in reality?

Like I said, it takes a lot for her to let people in. Trust me, I can understand that. Once you're in with Rose, you're in. She's a great person and is generally in a happy mood, which is good for me.

Some people view you as being on the outside of the family, just kind of floating around the edges because of Alice's desire to be there. Is this true?

Of course not.

Then what is true?

I'm just not as rambunctious as Emmett and I'm not into all the theatrics that Edward is. In the end, that just kind of leaves me sitting there just existing sometimes. I'm okay with that. As long as I have Alice I'm a happy camper. However, I have learned through the years from Alice and Esme and Carlisle and even Bella – well everyone in our family, really – that I am as important to them as they are to me. I would do anything to protect them. They are my family, plain and simple. I don't jump into the middle of everything because that's just not who I am. I'm much more laid back and reserved. Believe it or not, I'm really a rather calm person. Just like anyone else, I have things that just make me lose my mind for a minute or two.

Can you describe your power for us? How do you experience it? What was it like that first time you realized you had a power?

I can influence the emotions of others. I can make them feel how I want them to. Also other people's emotions affect me in ways they don't affect others. If someone is feeling any extreme emotion, I can't help but feel that way too. I've learned to turn it off for your typical everyday emotions, but anytime someone around me is really happy, excited, sad, distressed, upset, etc., so am I.

I guess I just feel an emotion I have absolutely no reason to be feeling. The best example would have been before Edward met Bella, I would be with Alice (so obviously I was very happy) and then all of a sudden I was feeling very self-deprecating and brooding. I can usually tell who the emotion is coming from, if I'm familiar with the person. Each person just has a certain feel about them that I can pick up on. I can usually identify that the emotion isn't mine and concentrate on what I was feeling or would rather feel and make it happen. It's harder when I haven't feed. Sometimes I wonder if my ability doesn't use more energy, and thus make me need to feed more often. At least that would explain my weakness just a little. I know it is harder to manipulate other's emotions when I'm thirsty. When I manipulate the emotions around me, it's kind of like picking out an emotion and letting it fill my whole body, then I just kind of push it out into the space around me. Whoever is in that space starts feeling the way I want them too. If I'm touching someone or have some physical connection, it's more like filling their body up with the emotion as I fill up my own.

The first time I realized I had a power, it was actually on accident. I was walking with Maria, who was explaining about my new life and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I started to fear her just a little for some reason and she suddenly started looking around suspiciously and acting like she was afraid too. When she got nervous I went into my typical "protect women" role, which made me pull up all my bravery. Then out of nowhere she was fine and acting like nothing was wrong and she was going to take care of everything. Then I got confused and so did she. Eventually I figured out I was causing her emotions to fluctuate. Unfortunately, that development made Maria just a little too happy. It's the only reason she kept me around as long as she did.

Do you ever control people's emotions just for the fun of it? If so, how? Who's emotions are the most fun to control?

Of course.

Emmett, mostly. Edward can be fun to mess with. Carlisle, on a rare occasion. We're just talking about doing it for my personal amusement right? I don't ever mess with Rose's emotions without prior consent. Alice, I don't like messing with her emotions for amusement, she's naturally happy and I don't want to mess with that. If I mess with Alice's emotions for my amusement it's usually for her pleasure in the end.

Emmett's are the most fun to mess with. He's larger than life in more ways than just physically. Once he gets anywhere emotionally, he's all in. So if I make him cry, he won't just sob uncontrollably, he'll all out lose his mind in sadness and tears he can't shed. That's pretty funny to watch. Or when he starts yawning in class just to seem human, I can throw him into a near coma with hardly any effort on my part, whatsoever. Usually, the best time to mess with the oaf is to wait until he's trying to be just a little cocky and send him into a tail spin. It's amazing what can come out of that boy's mouth when he's being tempted.

Sher wants to know if you really suffer from lack of control over your blood lust or are you just faking everyone out? You are a good military strategist after all. Maybe it's all part of your plan to keep us guessing.


Thank you for thinking I am a good strategist, but no. I would never put Alice though that intentionally.

Esme said you were a history buff. We'd like to know some things about history we couldn't find in our text books. What kind of underwear did you wear back in your confederate days?

Well, I guess the closest thing I could compare it to would be long johns or long underwear. That was the only cotton we wore, because really, who wants wool rubbin' against your stuff? So we had basically a second pair of pants that had a button fly so it was really easy to get in and out of 'em. In the winter if you were in a cold climate you might have a pair of flannel under things, but we're talking Galveston, Houston, and southern Texas so I didn't really have a need for those.

How does that affect your choice of underwear now?

I like boxers and so does Alice.

It's been mentioned that saddles now are a lot more comfortable than what you used to ride in when you were in the Army. Can you tell us how you protected your – er – Whitlock family jewels way back when?

Well – ha – actually, you pretty much didn't. You started riding saddles like that as a kid. I guess it just built up a resistance. Although, I have to say, once you became an officer you got a nice pig skin pad for your seat portion which definitely made for a smoother ride. Too bad I didn't really get to use that for very long. I hope some fresh fish caught hold of that thing once I was done with it. Either way, that padded seat didn't make it half as comfortable as the saddles they have today. I heard that guy off that stupid little house on the prairie show whining about saddle sores. That pusillanimous bluebelly, ain't seen nothin'! I'll give him saddle sores.

Wow, you seem a little upset about that show. Why?

Well, let's see, it's wrong. I don't know anyone who grew up like that. The show was total crap. It's all this northern propaganda. I don't like it. Plus, the guys on that show are sissies. I'm serious, they want to complain about their nice, modern, comfortable, lazy-boy recliner saddles, I'll give 'em something to wine about.

Wow, alright, let's just leave it at that and we can all calm down now.

Oops, sorry.

Okay, so if you don't like Little House on the Prairie, what kinds of historical things do you find entertaining?

I love these nuts that go out there every weekend – the accountants and stock brokers and whatever else who have too much damn money – and pretend that they are still fighting in my war. Now that is entertainment. The fact that these guys suffer through the bull shit we went through and somehow derive pleasure from it. Now that is what I call a masochist. Now, let me be honest, some of these idiots get it wrong and that pisses me off, but the hardcore guys, the guys who take the time to get it right, I can appreciate that. I sure as hell don't have to understand it, but I sure do appreciate it.

We've talked to each member of your family about their respective mates and we already know a lot about you and Alice when it comes to her helping you to feel stronger and more in control. We'd like to hear about some of the more fun times. What is the first thing you can remember about her that made you smile?

Her bounciness.

Was it love at first sight for you or did you have to warm up to her?

Well, at first I wasn't sure what emotions she was feeling toward me. Those weren't feelings I was accustomed to experiencing with my power. Once I adjusted, so maybe ten, fifteen minutes – well, I wanted to be with her for good.

You and Edward had a similar experience of waiting almost a hundred years (each) before finding your mate. Did your experience help him at all?

Not really, he's a pig headed pain in the ass sometimes. If we're being honest.

Of course. Thank you for your candor.

You're welcome, darlin'.

Since we're on the subject and everyone loves to make Edward squirm – what are some things you might have said in an attempt to encourage him with Bella, but that he turned into something totally different?

First off there is of course telling him to take a shower and just jack off. I mean really, if you spend as much time as I did away at war, sometimes you just have to take the edge off. It's not something I'm proud of, but I don't really have to do it anymore so it's all good. Edward was madder than a rattle snake with a shot gun in its face. Man, it's was funny. You should have been there.

Then there was his entire honeymoon. Do you know that boy wanted me to go with so I could keep him calm? That's right he did. And on top of that he was going to make me leave Alice home. Some how he got hold of some crack or something that day and found a way to get high because that shit just wasn't going to happen. He's nuts.

This is Edward we're talking about. He over reacts to everything! You should have seen his face when he came home after his interview. HA! No really, think of the worst way you could react to something and then make it so dramatic it's comedic, and then multiply that by about 350 and that's Edward's "rational" reaction level. I mean it.

On a different Edward related topic, how did you feel about Edward saving Bella from the van?

I'm damn glad he did it, because if he hadn't and she had been killed and then somehow Edward hadn't drained the body, I sure as hell would have and I'm sick of being the reason why we move all the time.

Were you angry about Edward choosing a human girl as a mate?

Angry isn't the right word. Frustrated, yes. He was finally acting happy, but I could hardly spend any time with him because I was afraid to hurt her. It didn't help that Alice became her best friend either so my time with my wife was cut off a little bit. It was really just frustrating and I ended up feeling like a monster all the time. Well, at least that's been taken care of now. Then again, there is a new problem now, even with them down at that damn cottage thing, I CAN STILL FEEL THEM! Then again, now so much of a problem, really, Alice is enjoying the hell out of it. It's like the whole house is filled with newlyweds again!

Since you mention Edward and Bella still being in the cottage, it brings to mind Emmett's comment about the cottage. You said the house is full of newlyweds again, so how is the main house holding up?

Don't ask that around Esme, she gets madder than I have ever seen her. Emmett and Rose are out of control. Well, we've had to replace the glass in their window multiple times. The wall has had to be spackled due to cracks. At one point Esme just tore down the whole wall and rebuilt it because there were so many cracks and the newest crack went from floor to ceiling. The hardwood floor has had to be replaced on multiple occasions.

Does it affect your ability differently when they are being – uh – aggressive about things?

A little bit. I try to keep the inner beast wrangled while we're in the presence of our family – well, really just Emmett. I don't like to get that way with Esme in the house – it's not nice to act that way in mixed company – but at least if I do on occasion she doesn't really say anything about it. She doesn't really react. Anyway, when Em and Rose behave that way, well it makes it really hard to keep the beast wrangled. He fights against the ropes a lot. Then again, that gives Alice ideas when I think about the inner monster fighting against his ropes and that can be fun too.

It seems we have come back around to the subject of Alice. Does your mind just naturally gravitate toward Alice?

Oh yeah.

Since it's so easy for your mind to focus on her, let's elaborate. What are some things about your relationship that most people don't see?

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that we rarely, if ever, fight. We usually don't have to. Alice just has a vision of how the fight will turn out and we just go with that to save time and energy. We try to make a point of not skipping the make up process though. That's fun.

Also, I think a lot of people feel she spends a lot of time talking and bouncing, which can be the case at times, but as a general rule, when we're together it's pretty calm. She's pretty calm. With both of our powers we just have this way of communicating that allows our just being in the same room together an intimate act.

Another thing, you mentioned it before, people tend to see her keeping me calm and in control. She does this a lot, but it's certainly not the only thing she does. I'm not always the weak one in our relationship. Poor Alice has her own demons, too. If I could take them away from her, I would. I don't like that she feels that way sometimes. I don't ever change her emotions unless she asks me to, especially in those moments, but I do comfort her. We are really a partnership. We're in this crazy life, existence, whatever, together. She definitely makes mine easier, but I can tell that sometimes I make hers easier too.

That's sweet. I'm sure you don't get marital advice from Emmett, really who would? Who do you go to for advice when Alice isn't an option?

Alice usually is my option, but when it involves her or something that I don't want to tell her because I know she'll get upset I usually go to Carlisle. Now, I can kind of go to Edward, too. Now that he's married we can talk about that kind of stuff together. He gets it now. He understands going to school and having to pretend you're dating a person and have a normal teenage level of love for someone when you're really married to them and just want to take them home and find every way imaginable to express how much you love them. Carlisle gets to be an adult and in our cover story, he and Esme are married, so they get a freedom we don't. But like I said, Edward can overreact, too. Carlisle is very level headed and rational. He gives really good advice. He's a good husband and a good man and I hope that with more time and Alice's love I can be like him one day. Thank God I have all of eternity because I'm going to need it.

I guess, to wrap things up, what is one thing people generally don't know about you, that you wish they did know?

I'm not the jumpy, nervous creature people normally perceive me to be. I'm cool to hang out with, especially if it involves playing pranks. I love to pull pranks. I think it's a family bonding thing we have. I'm pretty good at pulling pranks and catching people in the act, so it's hard to get me back. It's also hard to get Edward back. With our powers, plus Alice will tell me if she sees anything, it's hard to keep things secret from me and Edward. So we team up and pull some great pranks. It's a lot of fun.

Well, thanks for your time, Jasper.

Not a problem, darlin'. It was a real pleasure.

Why does that smirk give me goosebumps?

Oh, that's not the smirk.

Alright kids, next up on the agenda for this little adventure is an interview with Edward and Bella together. So go ahead and leave a little love by clocking that button bellow and leave a few questions for Twilight's favorite couple.