Wellwell, here is my first Avatar-fanfic. This sillyness was inspired by a convo I had with two friends of mine while we watched the Avatar movie again. I seriously need to invite those guys over more often, they are a great source of inspiration xD

Anyways, enjoy. ^^

DISCLAIMER: No, I don`t own anything of this. Now, shoo, get of my back pesky lawyers.

A/N 1: I have decided that these ficlets will count as canon in my OC story (which is in progress.) Therefore, Jake is not Olo'eyktan, despite his Turko Makto-ness.

A/N 2: The second chapter is up. If you want any more, just PM me with a plot^^ I have a few myself, but mostly incomplete ones.

A/N 3: The rewritten lyrics to the song further down uses this melody; www .youtube. com/watch?v=Xxz2m7BFBrU (same melody as the original)

They were running like the wind through the forest. Jake and Neytiri were out on the hunt, trying to get a fresh kill for dinner tonight. Salted, dried and smoked meat was good, but freshly cooked from a fresh kill was indisputably the best. They hadn`t managed to find a herd of yeriks yet, but it would only be a matter of time. Both Jake and Neytiri were excellent trackers. Neytiri was much better than Jake, but that was to be expected. He had only had a few years to train, after all. Suddenly, Neytiri started to slow down a bit. Jake noticed, and slowed down too, until they were both standing underneath a huge fern-like plant, panting slightly.

"Why did we stop?" Jake wondered. He hadn`t spotted any signs of a yerik herd nearby, so there was no reason to stop.

"Uhm… I gotta…" Neytiri mumbled, pointing towards a bush. Jake got the point immediately, and nodded.

"I'll just wait here then," he said. Neytiri gave him a quick smile before walking off into the underbrush, as silent as ever. Having nothing better to do, Jake started exploring nearby. He wasn't as well-versed in this particular area, so it would help his knowledge of the land, too. After a minute or two, he suddenly spotted something peculiar. A loosed queue! It was hanging beside a large tree-like mushroom, dangling just above the ground. Jake walked over, smelling the air for any signs of hostilities. He didn't pick up anything but the faint scent of Neytiri a few hundred feet behind him, so he picked up the queue, examining it. He discovered that it was connected to the mushroom-tree, and this made him curious. What would a mushroom need a queue for? He hadn't heard of any plant or animal like this from either the Na'vi or the remaining scientists on the planet. Nowadays, they were just called Avatars or Dreamwalkers, even if they didn't have an Avatar themselves.
"Hmm…. It can`t possibly hurt to try, could it?" Jake mumbled to himself, picking up his own queue. With some hesitation, he brought the two queues together, waiting for the neural bond to activate, which would let him know what the plant was.

Neytiri walked back rather slowly, enjoying the sights of the forest. It had begun to darken slightly, and some of the plants' lights, biolumiscence as the Dreamwalkers said, had started. She giggled a bit as she set off a fan lizard and watched it spin to safety in a tree. Those little creatures were still funny to watch. Soon, she was back underneath the large fern where she had left Jake. Neytiri looked around, trying to spot him. No Jake. She could, however, smell him. She frowned a bit. Jake smelled differently than normal. She quickly followed Jake's scent behind the large fern and saw him slumping against a large mushroom-like tree. She gasped as she spotted the connected queues.

"Oh no..." she whispered to herself, rapidly jumping to Jake and disconnecting him from the plant. He was slumped on the ground, his head lolling weirdly to one side.

"Geeehhhhllrrghh…" Jake uttered a weird sound, and a drop of drool escaped the corner of his mouth. Neytiri glared at the mushroom-thing and swore to herself in Na'vi. She wiped away the drool with a dead leaf and hoisted Jake up and into a fireman's-grip and started on the long way home to the Hometree. She knew the effects of the shroom. This was going to be a long evening.


"I'm blue da bo dee ba do dei!" Jake shouted in a slurred voice, half singing, as Neytiri blushingly carried him up the long spiral in the Hometree. Most of the clan stared at them, and she tried to shrug it off. Of course, that was easier said than done with Jake still on her right shoulder, singing wildly. And even though she had never heard the song before, she knew was off-key. She ended up glaring at the observers to get away instead, blushing a deep blue shade in the process.

"Uhm… What's wrong with Jake?" a voice above her asked. It was Norm, one of the most accepted Dreamwalkers. He was part of both the Omaticaya clan and the science team that had chosen to stay on Pandora after the war with the humans three years ago. Right now, he was leaning out of Jake and Neytiri's room, apparently having been waiting there for them to return from the hunt.

"He connected to a Uniltxum," Neytiri simply answered as she entered the large cave-like space inside the Hometree's trunk. There were hundreds of similar alcoves all over the trunk, and Jake and Neytiri had, as a mated pair, been allowed to choose one for themselves. Their alcove was situated roughly halfway up the trunk.

"Dream-poison?" Norm translated, wondering what that was. He hadn't read about anything named Uniltxum in any of the books he'd read, nor heard about it from any of the Na'vi. By now, Jake had stopped singing "I'm blue" and instead was staring at his own hand as if it had fifteen fingers and a hoof or something. Neytiri had dropped him, rather unceremoniously, on the floor moments before.

"HEY! Guys!" he suddenly yelled, annoyingly loud and shrill. "My hand's freakin' BLUE duuuudeeee!" He resumed staring at his own hand, drooling slightly again. Neytiri sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose as she wiped of the drool with a dead leaf again.

"Uhhh…. Okay?" Norm said, completely bewildered by Jake's weird behavior. At that moment, Jake decided to start singing "I'm blue" again, roaring loudly every time he said the word "blue."

"He connected his queue to an Uniltxum mushroom," Neytiri started to explain, apparently still wondering how the hell Jake would be so stupid as to do that. "Which affects our brain… With this result," She said, pointing at the wreck called Jake on the floor. He was currently in the process of counting his toes by using his nose to touch them. He never got past three though, before he had to start again, due to him forgetting what number he was on.

"Did he know about that effect?" Norm asked while staring at Jake, trying not laugh.

"Eh… No." Neytiri admitted. "We don't tell our children about the mushroom. Usually, they will do exactly as Jake, bonding with the mushroom. Usually after this, they never do it again."

"Ah. Burnt child dreads fire, right?" Norm replied, recognizing the parallel to the human expression.

"Yes, something like that," Neytiri answered, having heard the expression from Jake a year ago or something.

"You see, the ones affected by the mushroom are still there. They are sort of trapped inside their own head. They can see everything their body does, but are not able to stop it," Neytiri continued to explain. As she did so, Norm doubled over in laughter.

"You mean Jake can see all of this?!" He asked between bouts of laughter.

"Yes…" Neytiri sighed.

"HE-HEY!" Jake suddenly said, jumping to his feet. "DOES THAT MEAN I'M HIGH?!" he yelled with his eyes crossed, making Norm laugh even more. Taking this as a yes, Jake suddenly spun unsteadily around himself two or three times, before starting to…sing. Loudly. And surprisingly not off-key either. He was, however, swaying slightly, like a tree in a mild breeze.

I never planned to leave Earth, but then I got high
I was gonna lead a quiet life, but then I got high
Now I'm livin' here, and I know why
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I wasn't gonna get an Avatar, but then I got high
I was gonna do as ordered, but then I got high
Then I ran off into the woods, and I know why
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I found a Thanator, but then I got high
I was gonna run from the freakin' thing but I got high
It nearly ate me and I know why
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

In the woods I found Neytiri, but then I got high
She was gonna train me all day long, but then I got high
She nearly killed me dead, and I know why
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I wasn't gonna fight, but then I got high
I nearly got myself killed, because I was high
But then I downed a ship and I know why
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I was gonna stay in human form until I got high
I was gonna leave right back for Earth, but then I got high
Now I'm tall and blue, and I know why
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I was gonna make love to you, but then I got high
I was gonna eat your pussy too but then I got high
now I'm jacking off and I know why
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I messed up my entire life because I got high
I betrayed my entire race, because I got high
now I'm sleeping in a tree, and I know why
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
And I'm gonna hate myself tomorrow, and I know why
- cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high

Norm was crying with laughter. He was literarily lying on the floor, rolling around with tears in his eyes. He could barely breathe. Jake, on the other hand, stared blankly in front of himself for a little while, before uttering something incomprehensible and collapsing on the floor.

Neytiri sighed. Finally, the effect began to wear off. He'd been snoring like a yerik's mating call for 12 hours straight, but at least he had stopped singing. Neytiri picked him up from the floor and tucked him into the bed before sitting down on a large, flat rock that functioned as a combined chair/table to wait for Norm to finish laughing. When he finally managed to get to his feet, still gasping for breath, Neytiri's tail was swishing irritably from side to side. She had absolutely not expected that Jake hadn't ever bonded with a shroom before, but now that she thought back on it, he couldn't have. He had only been here for roughly three years, after all. Still, it did not diminish the burning embarrassment of having to literally carry a stoned Turok Makto up the Hometree while the entire clan watched. Tomorrow's breakfast with the clan would be so incredibly embarrassing.

"So, what was it you came here for?" Neytiri asked a still gasping Norm with a slightly annoyed voice. He really wasn`t making anything better.

"I was going to ask you to help me with some stuff, but since Jake's…out of order," he chuckled a bit at that, "it can wait."

Neytiri sighed again before shooing him out. She lay down on her and Jake's hammock, absentmindedly fiddling with a strand of Jake's hair, wondering how to best wriggle out of this situation tomorrow. Eventually, as she started to drift off to sleep; she figured it'd be best if she just told the truth, however embarrassing.


Jake gradually woke up, opening his eyes slowly before immediately shutting them against the bright light and groaning. His head felt like a herd of angtsìk were stampeding through it. Seriously, this had to be the worst hangover he had ever had. What had he done last night? Then, suddenly, everything flooded back into his head. The hunting trip, the mushroom, the trip home, the pretty colours and shapes, and the singing. The horrible singing. Jake groaned loudly again. At the sound of his embarrassed groan, Neytiri stirred before mumbling something.

"You awake?"

"Yes…but I wish I weren't…"

"You remember last night?"

"Unfortunately, yeah…"

Neytiri giggled. Okay, it was embarrassing for both of them, but when she thought back on it, it was actually kind of funny.

"Oh, come on! Don`t laugh, please. It's bad enough already… Why didn't you warn me about that shroom earlier?"

"Because we don't tell our children about the shroom. You heard why last night; don't pretend to not remember it." Jake just groaned again at this. He dearly wished he didn't remember.



"Can we please skip breakfast with the clan today? Please?" Jake begged. The last thing he wanted now was to go down and eat together with the rest of the clan, most of whom had both seen and heard him last night. He'd never hear the end of it.

"You must. You are Turok Makto, after all. And I have to go too, and it will be just as embarrassing for me."

Jake groaned again. Then, suddenly, he heard a familiar voice chuckle from the doorway. Jake groaned louder.

"Morning Jake! Feeling any better today?" Norm asked, purposely making his voice just loud enough to cause discomfort. Jake groaned louder before deciding to get up from the hammock. He had to anyway, and he figured that it would be easier to punch Norm while standing up if he starting ridiculing him.

"So, if I understood this correctly, you remember every single thing about yesterday?" Norm asked, smirking. Was it just Jake's imagination, or was that smirk sinister?


"So, you remember singing "I`m blue" back there too?" Norm continued to ask. Norm's avatar's tail was swishing from side to side, occasionally curling around his leg for a moment before continuing to swish, revealing that Norm was just a hairsbreadth away from bursting out laughing again.

"Ugh… Yeah… And I swore I'd never sing that song ever again after getting this body…" Jake said, remembering the promise to himself he had made a week or so after getting permanently transferred into his current body. He had done that because Norm had been singing it constantly after getting his avatar-body healed. Apparently, he had found the old song in one of the computers back at Hell's Gate, leftovers from someone who had gone home to Earth.

That was the drop that made Norm's cup overflow. He burst out laughing again, which only made Jake groan yet again before sitting down on the stone. He seriously needed a painkiller or five.
Without warning, Norm suddenly stopped laughing. Then he began humming a melody to himself, a melody that was all too familiar to Jake. It was the OTHER song he had sung that night. Apparently having finished remembering the melody, Norm started singing, nearly stumbling over words as he struggled to stop laughing.

You swore you'd never sing it, but then you got high
You sang it awfully, because you were high.
And now you're embarrassed, and I know why!
Cause you were high, cause you were high, cause you were high!

The moment he finished, Norm burst out laughing again before nimbly jumping out of the doorway and onto a branch below, running away from Jake, who had gotten up to punch him. Jake could've caught up with him, but his head was hurting again, and he didn't really feel like ruining his friends good mood. Even though the good mood was caused by mocking at his expense. When he turned back in to the alcove, he saw Neytiri on the hammock, struggling not to giggle. Jake groaned again when she finally gave up.

This was going to be a long day.