This contains spoilers for Naruto chapter 482. The events are based on it.
Read at your own risk.
Sasuke turned to see Sakura standing at one end of the bridge. He turned his attention back to Karin on hearing her grunt in pain. A Chidori fired up in his hand with barely a thought... time to dispose off a tool which was useless now.
The electricity cackled and faltered, the shrill sound penetrated his concentration and he let the jutsu fall. Didn't she know that maintaining a constant electric field wasn't easy?! He turned his head to glare at her, squinting because his vision was very impaired.
"What do you want, Sakura?" his tone hinted frustration; he wanted to go and rest for a while, damnit!
"Sasuke-kun," she began, coming closer to him, "I'll come with you! I'll leave Konoha!"
"What?!" Sasuke asked, bewildered.
"I'll leave Konoha! For you, Sasuke-kun!" She started running towards him, hoping for a lovers' embrace, perhaps.
"Wait!" he cried, "Do you have any idea how fucked up this is? You come to take me back to Konoha not more than a month ago, and now you are willing to join me? What's this obsession of yours with me?"
"I love you, Sasuke-kun!" she said in a small voice, pink hair fluttering around her in an annoying way.
"Love? Love?! Do you even know what love is?"
"I do love you..."
"Tell me, what is your idea of love?"
Sakura bit her lip, pondering her answer.
"Oooh..." Karin grunted in pain, "I... just... wanted to see that face one more time..."
Sasuke glared at the dying girl, "Stop having flashbacks about things that never happened! And let me clear this before I kill you mercilessly in the name of mercy-killing."
"Sasuke-kun..." Sakura caught his attention, again, "I loved you since we were in the academy, please... let me come with you..."
"That isn't my answer," he spat, coldly.
"But I love you soooo much!"
"And pigs fly, Sakura!" Why the hell couldn't she understand?! He tried again, "You have an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and you sure as hell don't love me!"
"But... we were meant to be together! I will follow you wherever you go, please, Sasuke-kun, let me..."
"I'm going to destroy Konoha!"
"B-but... what about your brother?!"
"My brother? Turns out he was okay, and was fucked up by Konoha to kill the clan... so I'll just attack Konoha! I know you might be thinking that this is the complete anti of my original goal, but what can I say when things are so fucked up? I mean, Konoha is fucked up!"
Karin gurgled in pain, breaking the silence.
"... I'll follow you..." said Sakura, finally.
Blink. Once, twice, three times.
"You are an idiot! Hold on, let me kill this girl who was hell bent on following me everywhere, then we'll talk about you filling her position!" Once again, electric discharge became visible in his hand, and he was about to end it for Karin when-
Damnit! Blonde idiot alert! He'd had a very bad day fighting Danzo, which could be considered 'necrophighting' or something as more than half of him was made up of dead Uchiha and one dead Senju, and he was fucking tired! He didn't have the time or patience to deal with these idiots.
"Have you also decided that you love me?!" Sasuke glared at Naruto.
"Wha-? No... I just decided that you'd be grateful if I stop you from being Madara's bitch anymore... but what's Sakura doing here?" he jabbed at her direction with his thumb.
"I'm not Madara's bitch! And she," Sasuke pointed at Sakura, "wants to go missing-nin to be with me! Didn't you get her checked for obsession?!"
"What?!" Naruto turned at Sakura, "But I thought you wanted to kill him?"
"Kill me?! Ha! That's a joke!" Sasuke started laughing, Karin continued gurgling in pain, Naruto looked between his two former teammates in confusion, and Sakura just stood there chewing her lip.
"But... Sasuke-kun... I lied to Naruto so I could get to you!" Sakura mumbled, eyes downcast.
"See?" Sasuke spat at Naruto, "You just got Punk'd!"
"Don't mix cultures, you baka! Say 'Ahou'. Try..."
"Does that even fucking matter? Tell me, what to do with this bitch!"
"I... am confused myself... but, shouldn't we be taking care of her first?" Naruto pointed at Karin.
"Wha-? Yeah, I'll kill her in a minute..."
"Kill her?! No! I mean, Sakura could heal her!" he looked at Sakura, expecting agreement.
"What? Can't we discuss important matters first, like me joining Sasuke-kun and living lovingly ever after?! And have lots and lots of children..."
"... Children? Y'know... the Sharingan gives you more power if you declare that you don't want to 'spread' it..."
Naruto looked at Sasuke, bewildered, "You didn't..."
Naruto winced, "Ouch!"
"Sacrifices for power, you have to do them..."
"Sharingan is fucked up... isn't it?"
"You could say that again..." The admission from Sasuke shocked Naruto a bit, "But it's the Uchiha curse, not anyone's fault..."
"Umm..." Naruto offered, both of them had totally forgotten Sakura who had eaten most of her lower lip by now, "You could've always went in the opposite direction, and not fulfilled the prophecy..."
"But Madara made me follow it! He manipulated me!"
"And you cut your picoscopic penis for him, just to get more 'Sharingan' powers... Did you ever wonder that the 'Uchiha Curse' could be a lie, and Madara made you an 'Ahou'?" Naruto said, even putting Sharingan, Uchiha Curse, and Ahou in air quotes.
Sasuke's mouth ran dry as he realised Naruto could be right, "Son of a bitch..."
"What about us, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura cried.
"Damnit, woman! Let me mourn the unnecessary loss of my penis in peace!" Sasuke yelled, "What could you possibly want from me now?! I need to rest-"
"For us to live lovingly ever after?" she offered.
"I need to rest before I attack Konoha, and you aren't helping!" He turned to Naruto, "Do you know a lost cause when you see one?"
"Umm... He's standing in front of me?"
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