I couldn't resist writing this. The thought of a mother trying to explain the concept of sex to her daughter (in 1815) was to painfully funny to pass up.


I do not own Twilight or Pride and Prejudice.

Knock... knock... knock

I looked up at the door, surprised anyone would be awake at this hour.

"Come in," I called, before closing the book I had been reading. I quickly placed it on the table beside my bed. The door opened and my mother stepped in, closing the door behind her.

"Mama?" I asked, confused.

"Isabella, shouldn't you be asleep, child?" she asked in exasperation. "Oh, nevermind. This will only take a moment."

I couldn't imagine what would bring her to my room this late, especially with what was taking place tomorrow. "Is anything the matter, Mama?" I admit, I was curious. It was unusual for her to visit my room, and she was acting nervous.

She drew in a deep breath, "I... well, that is to say… oh, my wretched nerves."

"Whatever it is, I am listening, Mama. There is no need to worry yourself." I attempted to soothe her, but she was becoming more agitated.

She flung her hands wildly in the air. "I never thought I would have to discuss such a thing with you, Isabella. With your stubbornness, I was resolved to you never marrying."

I knew I was missing something important, which would piece together this puzzle my mother was speaking of. However, the answer eluded me.

Huffing at my silence, she continued. "You were always too much like your father. Quiet and contemplative, asking too many questions which a girl had no business concerning herself with."

I was used to my mother's dislike of my "abnormal female behavior" as she called it. But it hurt to hear her speak of me this way, and to my face no less.

"Mother, I am aware of your opinion. Please say what it is you came hear say and go. I am tired." I tried desperately to hide the hurt I felt.

"Oh, don't start that, young lady. This is not easy for me, you know. I need to tell you what you should expect on your wedding night."

I tensed instantly; the very though of discussing such a subject with my mother was mortifying.

"Mama, I thought it was improper for young ladies to discuss such things." I begged her with my tone to stop.

"I must, Isabella. It is the duty of a mother to prepare their daughters so they are not caught unawares," she replied, her tone elevated to a painfully high octave.

This was sounding more terrible by the minute.

She interlocked her fingers, twisting them nervously. After several agonizing minutes she began, "Your husband will seek you out. You... you must lie very still." She eyed my sternly, no doubt assessing whether I was paying attention.

"Lie very still. Is that all?" I hoped that would be the end of it, but she continued.

"I know that it can be a frightening when you first see your husband... unclothed. So it may be best if you close your eyes until he joins you in your bed."

I swallowed thickly, wondering how I would survive this talk and be able to face Edward tomorrow.

"He will then take his... his... person, and insult you with it." She paused, looking thoughtful, while I was quite certain my eyes were as wide as saucers.

"The whole episode is over rather quickly, and he will retreat to his own chambers to sleep," she concluded rather dramatically.

I felt my stomach flip, and I thought I might be sick.

"Do not fret, girl. It is your duty as a wife." She sighed, gently patting my hand. "If you are lucky, he will get you with child very quickly, and you will be free from his attentions until well after the birth," she proclaimed happily.

My mouth felt so dry. "Is that all?" I rasped. Please, Lord, let that be all.

"Oh yes, do you have any questions for me?"

I shook my head in the negative, too mortified to speak.

"Well... I believe that is all. It went well, did it not?" she asked nervously.

"Certainly, Mama," I replied quickly, before she decided to add anything else.

"Excellent. I need to speak with Rose now. Goodnight, dear."

I watched her retreat and quickly said a prayer for Rose... as well as myself.