He's truly all mine,
This darkness I call lover,
The beautiful death.
Red, hot, throbbing pain flashes through my body, leaving me shaking and tucking myself into a tight ball. It will only be for another week, I promise myself silently. You can wait for a few more days.
Could I? Was it possible? This ache I have for his touch disturbs me so much that I can't close my eyes. A soft knock resonates through my room, shooting me back into reality. "Yuki-sama," Ruka calls, "you must come and eat."
I don't utter one word to her
"Yuki-sama, we all are worried for you. You should come out."
"No . . ." My voice is hoarse and croaky as I speak. "I can't." I look down at the blood staining my hands and my white dress.
Ruka begins to shake the doorknob and I gasp out loud. She can't see me like this! But then I remember that the door is locked.
"Go away, Ruka," I whisper. She stops jiggling the door, and sighs.
"As you wish," she replies, "but I will contact Kaname-sama if I have to. You will need to come out at least three times everyday." I have no plans to do as she wanted me to.
My body trembles with the increasing pain I feel. It has been bothering me since last week. As soon as I was relieved of it, it would wash back onto me, spiraling me into oblivion. I have waited too long for him - nearly two weeks now.
Another wave of bloodlust crashes onto me, my eyes turning a horrible crimson, and my fangs elongating to press against my bottom lip. Sweet liquid drips into my mouth and I lap at it, craving more.
Minutes, hours, no, days pass with increasing anxiety and hunger. I've left the room only seven times in the past two days. While outside of those four walls, I gaze at the throats of my friends, their pulsing blood beckoning me. But I know better. So I avoid all contact with them, keeping myself in the library.
Finally, the agony becomes too much and I retreat to my sanctuary once again. It's an extra six days, before he returns. He sent a letter saying so yesterday.
Suddenly, the door opens, and I hiss out an inhuman-like sound. I regret it instantly. In seconds, I'm in his arms, tears running down my face. "Kaname-sama . . ." I moan, clutching him to me tightly.
Silently, he kisses my hair and runs his fingers down my spine lovingly. It sends chills all over my body.
"Kain called me," he explains, "and told me everything. Yuki, please, do not hold back." He takes off his long trench coat and slams the door shut with his foot.
Kaname begins to kiss me with fervor, and I give it back to him. My lips moving against his roughly. He lays on the bed, kicking his shoes off and leaning against the headboard. "Come here," he whispers.
I crawl towards him, already knowing that my eyes tell him what I really want and need. Kaname presses his thumbnail up to his neck and a thin line of blood rises to the skin.
"Thank you, Kaname-sama."
He pulls away from me at the last second. "Call me Kaname, from now on."
I rock back onto my heels, glaring at him. "Thank you, Kaname." He nods in appreciation and then moves back towards me. I grip his shoulders, prepping myself. My fangs slide into his throat easily. Blood fills my mouth and I swallow it greedily. Kaname sighs and closes his eyes.
All too quickly, he pulls me away from him and I growl through bared teeth. He chuckles low in his throat, wrapping his arms around me so my head is pressed up against his chest. I can feel his muscles under the thin fabric he wears.
"If you take any more, Yuki, you could very well kill me," he jokes, pressing his lips against my hair. "I would think that you'd be very sad if that happened."
Slowly my consciousness comes back and I realize what I could have done. "I'm sorry, Kaname-sama. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"What did I say earlier?" He smiles at me, brushing his fingertips across my chin where a line of his blood runs down. "I asked you to stop calling me Kaname-sama, and you agreed. Remember?"
I nod back. "I do. But it's such a habit, I can't just stop."
Then he's in my face, looking me straight in the eyes. "If you try, I bet you can."
Surprised, I bite down on my bottom lip and gaze down. Kaname tilts my head up so he can keep my attention on him. "Look at me, Yuki," he softly commands. "If you won't, I can promise that I'll never speak to you again."
I blush an even deeper red, recalling the dim memory of when I was human. When I had rebelled against Kaname-sama saying that I'd never speak to him until he claimed that someone - I can't remember who - was innocent. The picture of a man flashes through my mind.
Silvery-white hair. Lavender eyes. Pale skin. A beautiful tattoo on his neck.
Kiryu. But what is his first name? I can't remember!
The Bloody Rose gun. He was a Hunter, but a vampire, too.
"Yuki?" Kaname's voice is full of worry, terror. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, I was just thinking of something. I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You scared me for a second."
He lets go of me to get off of the bed. "I must go. I'm sorry. I'd really like to spend more time with you but the Hunter Society won't let me out of their sight." Kaname's eyes flick over to the door with a glare, but then he moves towards me again, smiling softly. "I'll be back before you know it, alright?"
He gathers my hands into his, and kisses them. "Can you promise me something, Yuki?"
His voice gets more serious with every word and I'm afraid, so I nod, again. "Please, come out of this room. Stay out of it until you go to sleep. I can't afford to come back again. Their guards are very hard to shake off."
I don't answer.
"I promise, Kaname-sama," I repeat quietly.
"Good," he sighs into my hands. Cold fingertips suddenly rest against the hollow of my neck. "You're tempting me, Yuki. How cruel."
He bends over me to press his mouth against my neck. "May I?" he murmurs against my skin, his breath hot against it.
I say nothing, only push his head closer so he can take my blood. It is over in less than ten seconds. He takes only a taste. I want him to take it all, I want my body to open up to him. But he will never do it. He takes little drinks here and there, no more than a sip. Except for the time where we had just got to the mansion after escaping from the academy.
But it was only that one time.
"Why don't you ever have more? You never drink deeply," I ask, glancing up at him through my thick eyelashes.
"If I did, I'm pretty sure I would do things that you may not be ready for yet. I'm only keeping your best interests at heart," he explains.
We stay quiet for a long moment, me sitting on the bed, him standing next to me.
"I've drunken a lot of your blood just now. It's only fair that I can give back what you have lost," I mutter under my breath, knowing I'm blushing.
"I appreciate your kindness, Yuki, but I could never do such a thing to you at a young age." He rubs his thumb on my cheek in circular motions, soothing me.
I slap his hand away, frowning at him. "You're only eighteen years old."
"That's right. You're only sixteen."
Anger stings its way around my body, making me more irritated by the second. "And yet how is that you can love your sister? Why do the rules of humans come into play? If we followed their rules, I wouldn't even be here!" I storm pass him towards the window, and I open it so I can jump out. My foot hits the ground with the correct kind of the leverage and I take off without another glance backwards.
How dare he! How dare he just push aside my feelings! Kaname-sama infuriates me so much when he does things like this!
He shouts my name from the window, but I'm so far away that I can barely make out his voice, even with my heightened hearing. I run through the trees like a blur, switching from jump branch to branch and on the ground. Finally I come to the rocky bottom of the mountain and I begin to climb. But these stupid heels Kaname puts me in, don't help me at all.
I take each one off and lop them off into the distance. By the time the sun sets, I'm already nearing a cave. It looks harmless enough, so I crawl in. There's nothing living in here. Good. I lay back against the wall and close my eyes, basking in the darkness. I hope they do not find me.
I know that Kaname-sama will send Ruka and Kain and Aido to find me, no doubt. And I know that he'll be looking for me as well. Maybe I should have run farther away. But I can't. I love him too much. But I'm also punishing him. He should find me.
"I have a twisted mind," I mutter to myself, burying my head in my arms. "How ironic."
Night falls, covering me in absolute darkness. I can still hear the cries of my name. I'm full of surprise because not one person has found me yet. And as if to contradict my smugness, one of Kaname's animals finds me. It's a wolf, colored the same as his hair. Its eyes have no other color except for the black-burgundy.
I don't move, not a muscle. I don't even breathe. I wait for what seems like hours, then it trots into the cave. It has to hunker down in order to fit into the tight enclosure. It sniffs around the area, and finally it catches my scent.
It lets out an eerie howl, loud enough for some rocks to fall down from the ceiling. I've been caught. I need to escape.
I begin to crawl out of the door but it tackles me to the ground. "No!" I scream as it lays all of its weight on my chest. "Get off!"
Sensing my distress, it cocks its head to side and slides off. Little does it know that no matter how different I am from Kaname, we still share the same blood. With a cry, I jump out of the cave and go spiraling down the cliff, finally landing with a loud thud at the bottom. But I'm not hurt.
"She's over here! I heard Kaname-sama's wolf!" Aido cries, charging through the forest's thick underbrush. I freeze in terror. No!
"Yuki-sama," he pants. Shortly after, Ruka, Kain and Seiren appear and I know I've been caught. "Please come back to the mansion. Kaname-sama is practically throwing a fit."
I shake my head, letting my hair whip against my face. "I won't. You can't make me."
Determination sets into Ruka's mind. "We will if we have to. Kaname-sama has ordered us to bring you back, now please, come with us."
"No!" Kain grabs my shoulders and throws me over his like a doll. "Let me go! Put me down!"
He doesn't. I pound against his back, knowing I'm stronger than he is and it pains him. "Please, Yuki-sama, stop. You're hurting him," Ruka begs.
I scream another "no". I begin to kick my feet and I finally find purchase. He drops me to the ground like he's been electrocuted. "You can not take me back!" I say with a stern voice. The vampires stop moving.
I'm glad that my Pureblood voice can make them do anything I want. "Seiren, you will go back to the mansion and gather some of my belongings. Aido and Kain you can both prepare plane tickets for me and Ruka. Ruka fetch a car for us to leave. Drive it over here. Tell nothing of this to Onii-sama, if you do, I'll never forgive you."
"What are you going to do?" Aido asks, panic clearly in his voice.
"None of your business!" I snap, seething with anger. "Go do what I told you to and meet me back here before dawn!" They all seem to hesitate, then they bow and vanish.
I lean against a tree, thinking to myself. What have I gotten myself into? Why am I really going through with this plan? Am I crazy? How can I abandon, Onii-sama? They said he's throwing a fit. Does that mean he's annoyed . . . or angry at me?
The wolf Kaname had sent comes back up to me, and I hiss. My foot strikes it and it dissipates into the air without another sound. Grateful I'm alone, I sink to the ground, waiting for them to come back.
Kain and Aido appear first, bowing and saying that they had arranged for a plane to Beijing without Kaname noticing them. I make them promise to never tell him where I'm going. That was when Ruka appears, stepping out of the car driven by a chauffeur.
" . . . Seiren? Where is she?" I ask, my tone mirroring Aido's.
"She's at the mansion."
I can't believe it. "She's telling him. Damn!"
"Yuki-sama, you should realize that she's only faithful to Kaname-sama," she responds testily.
"Get in the car, now!" I fly into the car, waving goodbye to Kain and Aido. "Come on, Ruka, he can be coming any second!"
"Too late," she mutters as she shuts the door. I look out the window and I see Kaname half a mile away, baring his fangs and growling at me. Seiren emerges from the darkness behind him and restrains him. I can tell that he's beyond his limit because she would never do that unless she knew that he could hurt someone or himself in the process of his mad rage.
Trees all around us shatter into halves, they all come crashing down. The ground shakes, sending Aido and Kain into the rocky outcropping.
"I'm sorry," I mouth to him. "Forgive me."
The car screeches away with a command from the tan-haired vampire next to me. And the last image I see of my Kaname-sama, is that of a tear rolling down his cheek. But the last sound I hear is him screaming into the night and crying shortly afterwards.
I've hurt him beyond repair.
Tears leave you broken.
His heart needs the shattering,
I love his sorrow.