I do not own Harry Potter… though, he is my soul mate.

A/N: My writing has improved since 2 years ago I promise! Or I would like to think so… If you have read any of my other stories, don't take them into account unless they are recent. I would like to revise them all, but I don't know when that will happen. Thanks!:)

Onto what you came here for!

Smooth Criminal

It was dark in Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry's Gryffindor boy's dormitory. You would say the room was horrifying if you were mysophobic (the fear of dirt or germs) but to Lily Evans (a pretty emerald eyed red headed girl of 16), it was just a regular messy boy's room. Boxers, quills, essays, ties, and assorted wrappers and crumbled pieces of paper were strewn across the room on the floor and on top of side tables. The only orderly thing in the room was a couple broomsticks propped up in a corner. There wasn't a twig out of place. Although Lily had never been inside the boy's dormitories before, she had expected this, especially from her victim and his friends.

A bed creaked, and Lily froze, wide-eyed. She alertly watched a human figure flip onto his back, and said "No, Wormtail, that's not chocolate…" and then started to snore softly. She recognized the voice belonging to her victim's friend, and her own friend, Remus Lupin. Him being asleep soundly (and dreaming! Remus, haunted by nightmares of the night he was turned into a werewolf, hardly ever got deep, healing sleep so this was unexpected) was a great advantage on her part. She sighed quietly in relief.

When Remus was breathing evenly and the general noise of the room was peaceful and safe, she crept forward. She actually had to tip-toe along the floor, careful to not knock over anything, or step on something. Cursing the four boys that were sleeping silently for keeping this room such a mess, she continued on until she reached her victim.

She barely stifled a gasp and a giggle at the same time. She thought too things: He looks extremely good sleeping without any clothes but boxers and his facial expression was priceless. His mouth was opened slightly, and there was a trickle of drool out of the corner of it. He was not wearing his glasses, of course. His eyes actually looked normal (but yet strange to her because she wasn't used to it) without them. His usually messy jet-black hair was even worse than usual. It was sticking out in odd directions, and twisting in ways that she didn't think normal hair could ever accomplish even if it was curly. Oh, the disadvantages of being a wizard. All in all, he looked ridiculous.

Lily Evans, though, couldn't help but think he looked…cute this way. He looked innocent even though in reality he really was quite the opposite. But Lily didn't come here to watch him sleep. He was her victim, and she had to get her devious crime done.

She poked him softly. No response came from the notorious boy. She poked him again, much harder. Once again, it was anti-climactic. Nothing happened. Lily smiled mischievously. Her sources had been correct; nothing would wake this boy from his peaceful slumber. Being satisfied of her check, she then slowly and quietly climbed onto the bed, and straddled her victim, but was not sitting on him. She wasn't going to take chances of his arousal. Using her left hand and arm to support her, she reached into her shirt pocket, and pulled out a magical permanent marker. She suppressed a maniacal giggle. Oh, she thought, I am such a smooth criminal.

She contemplated her first move. What does she want to do to his face? She had to think carefully, because she knew for sure the ink wouldn't come off until a full 48 hours had passed. She got an idea. She first decided to just write "Lily owns James". She wanted him to know his assassin. She did the obvious second; she gave him a mustache, which magic-ed itself to look realistic. Then she gave him a unibrow, and dotted his cheeks and chin. She colored his lips, and as if the marker read her mind, his lips turned a bright ruby red. Getting more enthusiastic, she started to get silly. She drew a flower on his left cheek, and 'I AM AN IDIOT' with a smiley face beside it. Lily giggled aloud.

This became her mistake. James Potter was stirring. He tried to stretch to surely move into a new comfy position and go deep into sleep again, but he couldn't. An arm was blocking his and his body bumped something. This was reason enough to wake up. Lily was panicking. His movement knocked her on-hands-and-knees position off balance, and she fell half way onto him. Oh dear, this wouldn't look good at all when he woke up.

He muttered something incoherent, and moved his arm to the side table by his bed. He picked up his glasses and put them on his face. He looked to the right. Nothing unusual there. He looked to the right. Nothing but darkness there. However, there was an unusual weight on his left hip. He heard shallow breaths. Disoriented, James reached over to the left and groped blindly at the air. His hand soon found them entangled in soft long hair. He was more awake now. It occurred to him that someone was on lying halfway on top of him, and this person was female due to the long hair.

Suddenly, he was VERY alert and awake. He quickly grabbed his wand, and said, "Lumos." There he saw the reason for his rude awakening. Lily Evans looked at him nervously. She waved and smiled guiltily.

"Err... Good morning?" she said awkwardly.

"Would there be a good reason why you are in my bed, Lily?" He glared at her, but there was a hint of amusement already behind his eyes. A marauder is always a marauder.

"Ha-ha, well, err, you see… I was uhm… looking for my, uh, quill! Yes, my quill! It had gone missing and because you are usually the culprit to my assortment of missing items, I decided to come up here and get it back."

This sounded very suspicious to James. It didn't explain why she was laying on top of him. Not only that, her facial expression was desperate and a very red blush was forming upon her face. It was almost laughable. She had never been a good liar and there was no one who knew Lily as well as James did.

He responded, "Uh huh, right… Well, I regret to inform you that your quill is not here. However…" he stopped a moment, glanced at her hand, and continued, "It looks like you won't need this quill anyway because of the pen in- Wait, a second…" It dawned on him.

Lily suddenly bounced off the bed, thinking this was a good time to run away. The sound of sheets being tossed off something (we can infer this something is our beloved James) and the sound of two feet joined the soft pat-pat of Lily's. They ran out of the dormitory quickly, so the other three occupants of the dorm (surprisingly) weren't disturbed. This was completely accidental though; Lily just wanted to get away.

However, her attempts were in vain. She had gotten down to the common room were she was tackled down. If the merry dark red couches and love seats that were surrounding the warm fire had feelings, they really wouldn't be surprised if this had happened during the day. It was probably around 3 o'clock in the morning, though, so the peaceful common room received quite a shock.

The two teenagers wrestled around the room. James was undoubtedly trying to get the marker from Lily to give revenge. Lily was trying to get the marker away from this marauder and get away. James gasped angrily, "What did you do to my face!?"

Lily laughed loudly, and said, "The mirror never lies!" James exclaimed back, trying to catch Lily's wrist, "Don't tell me this rubbish! What did you draw on my FACE?!?"

Right then, James switched to a deadly tactic which left Lily unable to answer him. He, knowing her better than anyone, straddled her, and then got to her most ticklish spot. Lily burst into a fit giggles, and tried gasping out pleas for James to stop. Even if he could tell what she was trying to say, he wouldn't have listened. This continued until tears of mirth streamed down Lily's face. When James stopped tickling Lily, she collapsed, breathing heavily. James took this opportunity to take the marker.

Swinging the marker like a pendulum in front of her face triumphantly, he said, "Would you like a dose of your own medicine, Evans?" Her eyes widened to the size of a house elf's eyes. She shook her head violently.

"Oh, why not, Lily dearest? You would look so dashing with a nice bushy mustache…" Lily shook her head violently in horror. "Ah… I see. Here I'll make a deal then; tell me how to get these infernal markings off my face, and I spare you." he said in a jokingly pompous way.

Not giving up her pride just yet, she said breathlessly, "Oh but why? You look so much better this way." James didn't have to see it to know this was a scandalous falsehood. In fact, James preferred not to know what was there. Though, looking at Lily now, barely containing more laughter, he knew it was bad.

He uncapped the marker, and said warningly, "Lily…" Deciding her unmarked face was worth more than winning this war, she said quickly, "Alright, alright! Uncap the other side of the pen… it has a 'Undo' button… keep pressing it and I'll tell you when it's all off."

He looked down at her suspiciously even after he uncapped the other side to find Lily's words true. He said, "If I find one mark left on my face when you say stop I will personally deliver your worst nightmare to your face." She nodded fearfully, and waited as James pressed the button repeatedly.

Finally, she said stop. Her mischievous side held true; there was only one mark left on the sixteen-year-olds face. 'Lily owns James' could still be seen if you knew where to look right under his jaw bone, close to his right ear.

"Alright then." James said, getting off of Lily. Lily glared at James. "You ruined my fun." She said. James laughed.

"Lily, dearest, I could give you all the fun you ever wanted." Lily's eyebrows rose in an 'oh-really-now??' way. He continued, "However I cannot approve to subjecting myself to such embarrassment." He handed her back her marker, but looked at her in warning. She understood; no more pranking James with markers.

With her plans soiled, pride squished (but in a non dramatic way; Lily saw the hilarity of the whole ordeal), and her sides screaming in protest, she yawned widely and said, "Well… I think we've had enough entertainment for the night…I'm just gonna-"

"You aren't going anywhere." said James in a low voice. Lily looked up at James, and saw his eyes were burning with emotion… but from what emotion, exactly? He continued, "Do you think me tickling you makes up for my face? No, there's still punishment to be determined. Never mess with a marauder."

Shocked, Lily exclaimed defiantly, "No, no! We had a deal, remember, Potter?!"

"That was the deal to keep your pretty little face clean, Lilykins." Lily was a little relieved; this meant her face would be ok. Or would it? Suddenly, James was much closer than he was just a second ago. "I have a good way you can remunerate me, though… Just a little kiss, Lily?" Although he said it in a light care-free tone, the bubble of hope was evident in his eyes. The wanting there was just as noticeable. Lily suddenly understood James' burning eyes.

In some twisted way, they had both become victims now. Lily was a victim to his tickling, now his stare, and his innocent manipulation… but Lily must admit he had it worse. He had been woken up quite rudely with an attack on his face… by the person he wants most. Lily though only saw the attack part. Her conscious caught up to her. Maybe a little kiss would be a good pay back?

But this was James Potter, her enemy since 1st year! Of course, lately, she didn't mind him as much as she did then… In fact there were sort of friends. She just did this prank for fun, because she was desperately bored at 3 A.M. and he was the best person she could think of to entertain her. This little kiss couldn't, wouldn't, hurt. Surely not.

She was convinced "Oh… fine, why not?" Lily had never seen James so happy. She couldn't help but smile a little at James exuberant face. However, Lily quickly realized that she had no idea what to do. This was probably the most awkward situation she had ever been put into in her life. Who would kiss who? Was this a little peck, or a pre-snog? Lily started to fidget.

James quickly realized Lily's little difficulty. After a moment's deliberation, he decided to take initiative. He was a man, after all. He put his hand on her shoulder, and used his free hand to life her chin to look at him. He quickly pulled her close, and their lips met.

Lily was surprised at the abruptness, but she didn't stiffen up. Surprisingly, she melted into the moment, and kissed back. His lips were soft, as were hers to James who was currently in ecstasy. Lily was feeling warm in a comforting way all over, and she got close to James. She moved her hands to his hair and the other at his hip. This was definitely different than what she had expected.

Far too soon, James pulled away, with slightly pink cheeks. "Sorry…" he mumbled. Lily didn't say anything. She was too surprised with herself. James continued rather shyly, "Uhm… I'm going to go… back to bed, you know… I have potions tomorrow… with you… so uhm…" Lily, still dazed, half heartedly waved.

Several minutes after James had disappeared into the dormitory, Lily drifted back to her own bed. She fell asleep the instant her head touched the pillow, and dreamlessly slept. When she woke up the next day, she was completely convinced the whole night had been a hilarious dream….

But when she walked down to potions for her second class of the day, she got a little curious. Lily was a bright girl and realized that dreams weren't so distinct and easy to remember as this comical dream had been. She waiting in her seat till she heard the unmistakable loud voice of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and James Potter walk into the room. She turned around, and looked upon the last boy mentioned. He seemed to have already been watching her; Lily blushed a little. James averted his eyes, and sat down with his friends. For the whole rest of the class he acted perfectly normal.

Lily was confused; what should she believe? Was the look he gave her at the beginning of class enough evidence or should she just assume last night had been a dream? The bell rang and the Marauders left almost instantly. This wasn't unusual though. Lily sighed; she would have to put it out of her mind for now.

She finally got to lunch. It went by talking to her friends and eating, as usual. That is, until James and the other Marauder crew decided to sit right next to her and her friends. Now this was interesting…

"Might I ask what these lovely young ladies are talking about?" Sirius said.

"Quidditch…. Who's going to win the watch tomorrow; Ravenclaw or Slytherin?" asked a light brown haired girl named Alice.

"Oh, we are hoping for Ravenclaw, but it's really hard to tell…." And Sirius continued his conversation on Quidditch with Lily's friends. The other Marauders added their own bits too. Lily wasn't listening though. She watched James intently, and went over last nights events. Thinking back, how was there any other way to prove what last night happened? She couldn't think of anything but something was scratching her mind like there was something she had forgotten….

Suddenly, James and the other Marauders got up. James turned his head to the left to yell at some other student who had taken their old seats. And that's where she saw it. Something caught her eye; it was a black mark under his jaw bone, near his right ear. Suddenly, everything was altered, though Lily couldn't explain how. She knew one thing though; she wanted the words 'Lily owns James' that were written on him to come true. That was the day Lily Evans' heart was stolen and fate, it was concluded later, was the smooth criminal.