Hetalia: Axis Powers
Just a Principality
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia. If someone claims that I do, in fact, own Hetalia, that must probably be my wish coming alive. However, that is not the case and I do not, in fact, own Hetalia.
OPENING NOTES: I've recently noticed how sad Sealand must be, not being a nation but just a principality. So, I've decided to write this.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this random piece of literature. :)
"Okay! Let's start the world conference," America exclaimed, smiling at everyone and feeling very excited for the conference that was about to take place, "Remember, this conference is for solving every world problem all together as one world- with me as the hero, of course."
Several of the assembled nations rolled their eyes; others just continued listening warily, while some scoffed at his statement. As always, America simply went on with his introductory speech.
"The most discussed issue is global warming. I suggest we hire an amazing robot hero- he has to be American, of course- to protect the earth and ask him to cover it from the sun for us! Obviously, we're going to be saved and he… uhh… might die from the heat but then it's going to be a hero's death, won't it?" he said, pointing at the board, which had a drawing of the earth and a huge hero covering it from the sun.
America added thoughtfully, "He's going to be wearing a superhero costume, so he's protected, right?"
Most of the nations face-palmed and Japan stood up, saying calmly, "I agree with America-san."
"What the hell, Japan!" Switzerland cried angrily, standing up, "Sometimes, I don't even know if you're actually aware of what you're agreeing to!"
Japan, for once, looked at him and replied quietly, "I just don't want to offend Alfred-san but then alright… I don't agree with him; his idea is very silly and not possible."
Switzerland was slightly taken aback at Japan's reply and America feigned hurt, answering, "But what's so silly and impossible about my idea?"
Before anyone else could reply, England put down his cup of tea on the table and said impatiently, "There are many reasons as to why your idea is a complete, absolute load of bloody shit."
America was about to retort when England cut off sharply, "One. I find the idea of hiring a robot superhero very childish, immature, and ridiculous."
"Two. Where the bloody hell can we even get an American robot superhero large enough to cover the earth from the sun for us?!"
"If you say a word about making him eat burgers so he'll get very big, I am going to regret ever making an attempt to educate you back then when you were still young! Be thankful I actually did!" England barked, his emerald green eyes narrowing and glaring deep into America's sky blue ones.
"Three! If there really was such thing as a gigantic American robot superhero that could float in space, he wouldn't survive! It won't be able to last long due to the numerous disadvantages, and you expect that ever-floating, gigantic, abnormal, robotic bloke-"
England pointed at America's drawing of a robot hero slightly bigger than the earth covering the said object. "-to save us?!"
"Well, we could-"
England sighed, took a sip from his cup of tea, and yelled, "We are uselessly arguing about childish things instead of achieving the goal of world peace and safety! Everyone already thinks you're a blithering idiot and you even have the nerve to say that a gigantic American robot superhero in spandex costume could save us from perishing from global warming?! I am greatly enamored by your endless stupidity, America… Besides, even if it's possible, it's expensive."
For once, America was quiet. Suddenly, the silence was broken by a soft laugh. They turned to find France leaning against the table, carelessly handsome and smirking at their small argument. "Ah, mon amis, I am sorry to say but I disagree with both of you."
"You always disagree with both of us! How can you not disagree to the fact that a gigantic American robot superhero in spandex costume could save us from perishing from global warming?" England said impatiently, slapping away the Frenchman's hand on his shoulder.
Another soft laugh was heard and France replied, "That's because I know it would greatly please you if I agreed, and we wouldn't want that to happen, do we?"
"Oh, shut up."
America rolled his eyes and said loudly, "Ahem! I'm still not letting go of my idea! I think it's great, and if someone opposes me, they shall feel the wrath of my special, heroic combat!!"
"Oh, please… I only engage in combat when I am on the bed with another worthy soul."
Silence washed over the room as everyone stared at France. England almost choked on his tea while Prussia and Spain grinned. Canada blushed as red as his sweater- not as if anyone noticed him, anyway-, knowing that France had attempted to spread love on his bed at one point.
America muttered, shuddering, "Get France to say something like that with a straight face… "
Noise emerged from the silence, and everyone started ignoring the heatedly arguing blondes at the head of the table. A sigh was heard a few seats away, and China could be seen sitting comfortably yet with an irritated look on his face.
China smiled, saying, "Luckily, I brought some-"
"Ah, mon cher, you always bring sweets!"
"No thank you, I'm busy with these bloody wankers-"
"WE DON'T WANT SOME!!!"
The three continued fighting and bickering, and for once, China saw Canada trying to stop them from a corner. His white bear, Kumajirou, was sleeping in the Canadian's arms, and seemed quite oblivious to all the noise.
At the other side of the table, Greece was sleeping the same way as well; oblivious of the longing looks Japan was throwing him. Greece always slept at the meetings for some reason- most probably because they were pointless.
China looked over to Russia's direction but stopped himself, mentally saying that he couldn't just leave the three nations fighting until they knocked themselves unconscious.
"I didn't bring sweets, aru. I brought a few burgers, scones, fries… Oh- here's cola, tea, and wine, aru! But I can't feast on these all by mysel-"
He was cut off by the instant rush of nations coming over to his direction. He sighed, leaving the huge plastic bags of food and drinks for the others to devour. That was more effective than candy, which meant he was going to bring those next meeting as well.
He then looked to the farther side of the table and noticed Russia and Belarus threatening Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia.
"Become one with me!!" was the tall Russian's cry and all Lithuania and Latvia could do was tremble as Belarus held a knife to their backs. Estonia managed to retort cunningly, "It's not good to bully the weak, Russia. Stop it!"
Russia laughed and said menacingly, "Do you think I care? Now- BECOME ONE WITH ME! Kolkolkol…"
"We're already his servants," Lithuania muttered to Latvia under his breath.
"What did you say?!" Belarus yelled, pressing the knife further to his back.
In a swift move, Russia could have forced Lithuania to become one with him but then Poland, appearing from the shadows, shielded him from the Russian.
Lithuania gave out a sigh of relief while Poland said, "Seriously, if you don't, like, stop doing this to Liet at every world meeting, I'll have to, like, call my pink pony."
Russia blinked. "Pink pony?"
Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia face-palmed while Russia and Belarus exchanged amused glances, laughing.
"Why are you, like, laughing?" Poland said, completely unaware of the fact that a pink pony can't just possibly stop Russia and Belarus.
Before anyone could reply, Lithuania pushed Estonia, who accidentally fell onto Belarus. She gave out a cry of anger as Latvia ran away, escaping all the madness. Estonia blushed, muttered a small sorry, and followed. Russia grabbed his water pipe and was about to strike Lithuania on the back when a soda can hit him on the head. Lithuania sighed and grabbed a confused Poland, running away.
Russia turned and found out that it was Sealand who had thrown the can. Latvia was standing proudly beside him and he whispered to his friend, "Thanks, Peter. Toris really could have gotten hurt…"
Sealand smiled at him as he started sprinting away from a furious Russia, saying, "Sure thing. It's fun to actually help others, you know!"
He ran away as fast as possible, which was good for him since he seemed to be a very speedy runner. Russia couldn't find him and gave up, walking over to Ukraine, who was seated in a corner, claiming that Belarus was too thin and trying to feed her.
A few seats away, England, who was glaring at both America and France, saw a small figure run from the corner of his eye. He recognized that boy, and he stood up, startling both America and France, who were busy arguing with him.
Sealand turned, recognizing that voice. It had been a month since he'd seen England, and he really couldn't care less about his selfish older brother, anyway.
England stormed over to him with a furious look on his face. "Why are you here? This is a conference for countries, Peter, not a playground for principalities!"
Sealand rolled his eyes and looked around him, saying, "You call this a proper world conference?"
Almost everywhere, there were people fighting, eating, laughing, drinking, doing things inappropriate for young audiences, talking animatedly, and many more. "W-Well, I know it could be better, but it's still a world conference!" Arthur insisted, "Besides, you're still not allowed. Did Finland and Sweden even let you come? Do they even know you're here?"
Sealand's face turned a light shade of red and he muttered, "No, I came here on my own…"
England sighed. He kneeled down just enough to be on the same level as his younger brother. "Peter… I'm sorry you can't be a proper nation but it just is that way. I can't do anything about it; besides, it's actually better to just be a principality. There are less problems and no aches about economy, politics, and-"
"Don't worry, Pete, I know Arty could be such an ass sometimes and can't stop being such a bitch of a brother!!"
America had a wide grin on his face and Sealand couldn't help but think that England was actually starting to sound comforting and brotherly.
"AMERICA! What the bloody hell are you doing here?"
"Uhh… This conference is at my place, so why can't I be here?"
"N-no! Not that! Why are you here when I'm talking to Peter?"
"I got bored… I finished all the burgers Yao brought."
Sealand sighed and ran away while his brother was busy arguing with America. He went to look for his parents, Finland and Sweden, and finally let his presence be known.
Instead of finding his parents, he accidentally ran into Spain, who was busy looking for South Italy.
Sealand noticed Romano eating a tomato behind the table, oblivious to his lover's calls. Spain frowned and decided to go to Prussia and ask if he had seen the Italian.
Meanwhile, Veneziano was pestering Germany to eat his pasta. Ludwig Weillschmidt sighed and took a fork, eating the pasta slowly. He couldn't help but say, "Ah… this does taste good, Feliciano."
"Of course it does! It's for yo-"
Romano suddenly grabbed Germany's fork and started eating at bullet speed.
"Don't feed your pasta to potato bastards! Feed them to me, brother!!"
Germany sighed. He never got to actually finish a plate of pasta whenever Lovino Vargas was around. The two brothers started wailing at each other while poor Germany got stuck in between.
Sealand decided to go to his parents and pushed past the Italy's, finding his adoptive parents sitting with Norway, Denmark, and Iceland.
Denmark instantly spoke, "Hey Sealand! Did you know that your dad used to do-"
"Ahem! Shut up, Denmark, the kid doesn't need to know the lies you accuse me of," Sweden said impatiently, pushing the other off the chair. He then sighed and eyed his adopted son wearily. "You're not even supposed to be here."
Finland pouted as Denmark stood up indignantly and took his anger out on poor Iceland, who was the victim of Denmark's fury. "Den-Den, there's no need to be so mad. You were harassing Berwald and you deserved it, anyway…"
A roar of rage and a cry of fear were heard, which Sweden did not hear because he was listening to Sealand's story. "I was hiding at the back seats of the plane you were riding and nobody saw me! I've never been so high up in the sky before, only sailing on the seas."
"Yes, I agree it's good for you to get to go to places you've never exactly been to at times but then you should have asked for permission. You know Finland and I-"
Sweden turned to find his wife being strangled by Denmark as Norway and Iceland attempted to restrain the wild beast. This was what happened when the axe man went to a world conference drunk. Nobody even knew why he was drunk in the first place.
Sealand, once again, stood alone and forgotten. He sighed and turned his head to find Prussia annoying Hungary, Austria, and Switzerland, which was a rare occasion due to the fact that Germany didn't allow his brother to come to the conferences, seeing that Prussia was technically a dead nation.
"You lame people are no match for the awesome me!!" Gilbert was saying, standing proudly with his arms around Roderich and Vash.
"Prussia, I swear…" Elizaveta started, her eyes gleaming with anger, "You had better get your ass out of here before I start getting annoyed by your very presence."
Austria huffed impatiently and pushed Prussia away, who retorted, "My very presence, which is too awesome for you!"
The two started fighting, Hungary with her frying pan and Prussia with his ready fists and, as he claims, awesomeness. Switzerland rolled his eyes and started looking for Liechtenstein, who had been missing ever since he took his sight off her.
Sealand had noticed the pretty girl having a shy conversation with Seychelles and Philippines. He looked back at Austria, who was now proposing to help Switzerland find her while Prussia and Hungary argued.
He was about to approach the three and talk to them when an orange juice bottle came sailing through the air. Sealand was about to be hit but moved back just when it had hit Taiwan.
"Hey!! Who was that?!" Taiwan yelled, rubbing the back of her head as she turned away from Hong Kong. She noticed Sealand and stormed over.
"I- I didn't throw anything! It came from over there…" he explained, pointing to where the bottle came from.
Hong Kong and Taiwan looked around, hoping to find someone with juice bottles. Suddenly, another one was thrown and Hong Kong was hit.
The two Asian nations turned to the place where it had come from and saw a running figure. It was Korea.
"IM YONG SOO!!"
The young nation laughed and ran away as the other two chased him angrily. Sealand sighed. Was fighting the only thing people wanted to do in this place? Heck, even his older brother and his parents were fighting this very moment.
He leaned on a pillar and watched the meeting unfold, disappointment starting to show. He hid at the back of an airplane, coming all the way here just to watch nations fight?
"I know; this isn't exactly what you call peace, huh?" A quiet voice said softly.
Sealand jumped and turned to find Egypt leaning on the other side of the pillar. "When did you get here?!" the boy exclaimed, shocked at not noticing that the nation was there.
Egypt huffed indignantly, "Am I seriously that quiet? Being quiet is one of the things I've always had for life and making noise was never at the list of things I wanted to do. I don't want to become like that Kannob… Kannie… Kana-something dude."
He then walked away, throwing his head left and right, probably trying to avoid Greece and Turkey. If they started to fight any sooner, they would demand for him to take a side- again.
Sealand watched as Greece, who was roughly woken up by Turkey, roared with fury and attempted to hit the laughing nation. Egypt sighed as he was spotted and was persuaded to take a side, as he predicted.
The young principality then contemplated on the Kana-something dude that Egypt was talking about. The name sounded familiar yet he couldn't quite place it.
Meanwhile, Canada felt defeated, plopping down on a chair and just watching as America, England, and France fought continuously. The invisible nation had a feeling that today's meeting would be different from the ordinary chaos that usually occurred. He should have known that fighting was inevitable when it came to world conferences.
"Honestly, Angleterre, you're losing your touch. Before, I would instantly receive a punch whenever I put my hand near your-"
"What the hell are you- STUPID FROG! BLOODY WANKER! BLITHERING IDIOT! INSUFFERABLE GIT!!"
America laughed as Arthur attempted to hit Francis, which he did after a moment- very hard. The American nation yelled, "FIGHT!!" as he tackled both of the European nations before him.
"Alfred… I've been trying to tell you not to eat too much hamburgers or fight-" Canada started.
"Hey Mattie, help mee!!"
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF-"
"Mon Dieu... Amerique, what-"
"LOL, MATTIE, LOOK!! IGGY AND FRANCIS LOOK LIKE THEY'RE PLAYING TWISTER!!"
The two were not happy and America was to pay dearly for it. There was the feeling of a mini bomb exploding in the conference room. Canada sighed, finally deciding to make an attempt to stop his brother.
A few seats away, China was trying to prevent Taiwan from strangling Korea, who was sticking out his tongue and mocking Taiwan's girly way of walking.
"I'm Taiwan and I collect flower petals and porcelain dolls and things that originated from my wonderful brother, Korea! I suck eggs too!"
"THAT'S IT! YAO, LET ME HIT YONG SOO JUST ONCE!!"
"Taiwan, calm down. This is very unnecessary, aru."
"Very unnecessary, awu… Old man blah blah blah!"
Silence took over as China let go of Taiwan, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Korea… Nobody calls me old, ARU!!!"
It seemed as if a mini bomb had just exploded in the conference room.
Vietnam and Hong Kong didn't even bother to restrain the two Asian nations from catching Korea. It would most probably result in one of them getting hit. Japan sat quietly, taking his eyes off of his chaotic brothers and sisters and watching the Mediterranean nations instead.
Across the seats reserved for the Asians, the Mediterranean nations were visibly arguing as well. At least, Greece and Turkey were.
The two were having a shouting match while Egypt was resigned to listening.
"Dude, don't provoke me. You know you don't stand a chance…"
"Oh shut up! You have just awoken a sleeping dragon!!"
"Sadiq, make this easier for yourself."
"No, Heracles, YOU make this easier for yourself!!"
Egypt knew what was coming.
"That. Is. It. BRING IT ON, TURKEY!!"
It seemed as if another mini bomb had just exploded in the conference room.
While the rest of the conference room was fighting, one corner was peaceful. Austria sat down before the piano and played as if there was no noise around him. Hungary smiled and praised her dear Roderich, knowing how good he could be at the piano.
Switzerland, finally finding Liechtenstein, approached and listened to the calming music. "Ah, Vash… It sounds very pretty…" the young female nation commented.
The music played on beautifully- but not for long.
"THE AWESOME ME IS HERE!!"
Hungary groaned and muttered, "I thought I got rid of Gilbitch for good…"
"Seems like that is not the case here, my dear Elizaveta," Austria said in a low voice, standing up. There was a flash in his eyes; he did not like it when someone interrupted his piano playing.
"LET'S KILL HIM TOGETHER, AUSTRIA!!"
Prussia cackled evilly as he dived underneath the long table and crawled for his life. The two followed while Switzerland and Liechtenstein stared at the weird scene that had just unfolded in front of them.
Switzerland looked down at his adopted sister and said, "Don't you dare take after their barbaric ways. Alright, Lilian?"
"Yes, Vash…" Liechtenstein sighed.
The two heard a mini bomb-like sound explode from underneath the table.
Sealand hoped to get rid of all the mess and ran from the chaotic place. He then found his parents and sighed with relief.
"Sweden! Finland! I'm here-"
"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY WIFE LIKE THAT!!" Sweden yelled at Denmark, pulling a blushing Finland away from the axe man.
"Hey, I wasn't doing anything…"
"Knowing you, Denmark, it is quite like you to do something rash," Iceland put in quietly, a small grin on his face.
Norway chuckled softly and muttered something about jerks that hold axes. All he got was an angry Danish nation standing, fuming, before him. Iceland attempted to hold back his older brother but was hit smack dab on the nose. He, Denmark, and Norway started having a fist-fight.
"Hey, hey, there's no need to do that; we're all united here, remember?" Finland insisted, trying to pry Denmark off a frightened Norway. Sweden replied, "Give up, Tino. These bastards won't stop unless they're told to fuck each other."
All he got was the unlucky position of being dragged into a brawl. Finland exclaimed, losing his temper, "Berwald!! OH SHIT, IS THIS WHAT YOU ALL DO BEST?!"
Sealand stood, shocked, with his mouth agape at what he just heard from his parents.
Another mini bomb was heard throughout the now very devastated room.
At the other side of the room, Russia was brandishing his pipe threateningly. Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia were cornered in front of him with no way out; they were trapped.
"R-Russia-sama… There's no need to do this, is there?" Estonia said uneasily, being the only one who actually dared to talk, "I mean, Lithuania, Latvia, and I just wanted to take a time off a-and-"
"NYET! You disobeyed me…" Russia answered, his amethyst eyes flashing dangerously.
Belarus and Ukraine were seen behind Russia, watching the scene unfold. The older girl was looking at the three with worry, while the younger girl was grinning cruelly at them.
Suddenly, Poland appeared out of nowhere. "Hey, I, like, told you to leave Liet and his friends alone, right?"
"NOT YOU AGAIN!!" Belarus cried angrily, not wanting the Polish nation to cause a distraction for another escape.
Belarus strangled Poland, Lithuania grabbed Latvia and ran, Estonia apologized to Russia and followed, and Ukraine tried to calm everyone down.
The room had yet another mini bomb-like sound.
Sealand was now very exasperated as he watched the whole room succumb to chaos. He never expected world conferences to ever be like this and it was such a disappointment for him. He remembered the times when England would return home and blab about how he almost managed to kill the French nation but was stopped as Germany ended all the mess in the conference.
Yes, that was it; Germany would stop it all and make peace again.
But then, right in front of the principality was Germany, and he wasn't exactly at peace.
Italy was wailing while his brother, Romano, was fighting with Germany. Spain could only stand nearby and wait for his loved one to stop.
"Ve~ Lovino! Ludwig! Don't fight, please!!"
"Ah, Feli, mi amigo, all we could do is wait…"
"Si, they won't be stopping any sooner."
"OH SHUT UP YOU BASTARD!!!"
"Lovi, don't hit me! TE AMO! I love you!"
"... A-Antonio? Did you just- GAH, LET'S SAVE THIS FOR LATER!! NOW SHUT UP!!"
"Ve~ Germany… When you're done, can I make you pasta?"
"I'M YOUR BROTHER, IDIOT! MAKE ME PASTA!"
"Ah, Lovi, don't shout-"
"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP! I'M DEALING WITH THIS POTATO BASTAR-!"
"Mi amigos, this is pointless, you kno-"
"Ve~ Germany, I-"
Sealand's heart almost broke when another mini bomb exploded right before his eyes. There was nobody to stop the noise and mess now.
Peter Kirkland got a chair and put it on top of a table and stood up on both. He looked at the highly disappointing conference room and took a deep breath. It was time for the hectic pandemonium to be stopped.
"ALL OF YOU! STOP! STOP IT! NOW!!"
A few nations looked up at him but most of the fights went on. He grit his teeth together and clenched his fists. It wasn't working. There was only one option left.
"YOU ALL SMELL LIKE BEEF AND CHEDDAR AND SHIT MIXED TOGETHER IN A POT, YOU DIRTY CLOWNS! ALL YOUR MOTHERS SMELL LIKE ELDERBERRIES AND PICKLES AND GUESS WHAT? I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR AND I GOT A JOB AS A FERRET HERDER!"
Silence took over the whole room. Everyone looked up at him, shocked, and most of them were surprised to find a principality standing seriously angered on a chair on a table in front of them. Others didn't even know who he was.
Sealand sighed, relieved. He managed to take all of their attention. Now it was time for his hopefully dramatic speech.
"Hello. My name is Peter Kirkland, also known as Sealand. No, I'm not here to introduce myself but I'm here to knock some sense into you. Yes, I'm a little principality but who cares? I was raised by England, my brother, and then was adopted by Sweden and Finland, my parents. All of you are nations, right?"
A lot of countries nodded, others just listened on.
"You're lucky. I'm too small to be a nation and I know I never will be," Sealand went on, a sad smile tainting his face, "But then I sneaked onto the back of a plane and secretly went here. You know why? Because I wanted to see how nations did things. I wanted to see all of you because my greatest dream is to be one of you."
"Do you know what I saw?" he continued, a frown replacing his sad smile. He then gestured to the whole room, "This."
Everyone looked around. The room was completely and utterly messy and chaotic. Some of the nations were starting to feel the shame.
"Yeah, that. Do you know what I felt when I saw this? I felt disappointed, sad, and really angry. All my dreams and plans to be a nation all come down to this? No way. I thought that everything would be cool and awesome but then this brought me down. My heart broke to pieces. Have you people ever felt that- your heart breaking into a million pieces?"
All of them have felt that before; it was a natural part of being a nation.
"That's how I felt. It was terrible. Now, are you going to let yourselves- strong, powerful nations- bring down the world by fighting uselessly? Are you?!"
The room was thick with shame and sorrow.
"Because as a dreamer who was inspired by every single one of you, seeing the very people who I look up to crash down like this," Sealand couldn't stop the tears now, "It's shit."
"Now, ARE YOU GOING TO LET YOURSELVES SINK THAT LOW?!"
Most of the nations smiled as they raised their arms in repentance, "NO!!"
"ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE BEING SHIT?!"
"NO, WE WON'T BE SHIT!!"
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!"
"NO, WE WON'T!!"
Peter Kirkland returned home that day, not as a nation, but as a brilliant, well-recognized principality.
From that day on, the world meetings were not anymore chaotic, messy, noisy, and, as Sealand said, shit. They were practically world conferences.
And Sealand was allowed to come.
A/N: That was a random idea. Really long and terribly written. Even though, just please read and review!! :)
-Pasta W 19. :P