(Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who and I'm not making a profit off of this. But I do own two very awesome pin wheels that I bout tonight!)

Heads up, if stuff veers from the show, that's because it's a fan fiction. I am not Mr. Davies, so it's gonna be different. Title comes from the Snow Patrol song 'The Lightning Strikes.'

Gold Hair and Lightning

Ch.1: Hurtful Help

A sob escaped Rose Tyler's lips as she threw her head in her hands. This couldn't be happening, not to her. She lifted her head and took another glance at the stick sitting by the sink. Yep, it was still the same. And she was still pregnant. She knew she wasn't upset that she was having a child. She had always wanted children. But the circumstances surrounding the child's conception were what had her so distressed.

She remembered that night, 4 weeks ago. Reinette had died, and the atmosphere in the TARDIS was gloomy. Mickey had asked the Doctor to take him home. After they were alone , the Doctor came to Rose, completely drunk off some of the French alcohol he had managed to snag.

"Ah Rose!" he slurred, staggering towards the blond girl. He had disappeared for several hours. She figured to lick his wounds, and she had been right. "Fancy seeing you here! It's been a bloody long day."

Rose just nodded her head at the inebriated man. The Doctor took another swig from the bottle he was holding in his hand. "Good stuff this is! Had it at that French party. Reinette was there." His voice cracked a bit.

"Rose, do you remember Reinette? Oh she was lovely… I miss her." A tear slid down his cheek and Rose's heart broke. "She's dead you know. Yep. Dead and gone. I'm not gonna see her again." He took another swig, a long one this time. Then the sad man looked up at her with unfocused, miserable brown eyes. "Rose, please make me forget."

Rose squinted at him. "How, Doctor?" He rushed at her as quickly as his drunken state would allow him and planted a quick kiss on her lips. "Like this." And he kissed her again.

Rose shook her head and pushed him slightly back. "Doctor your drunk. You don't know what you're doing right now."

The Doctor shook his head and pulled Rose closer. Somehow, despite the fact that he was drunk off his rocker, he didn't reek of alcohol. She figured maybe that was a perk of being a time lord. "Rose, I want to forget. You can help me." The young woman shook her head again, not wanting to get dragged into this. "Please," he whispered, his eyes pleading. "Rose it hurts. I just want to forget. Just for tonight." A tear slipped down his soft cheek and Rose knew how real his pain was, and she loved him too much to see him suffering.

She took a deep breath. "I'll help you Doctor." He smiled a very weak, un-doctor-like smile. "That's my Rose."

All night, that was the phrase that kept playing over and over again in Rose's head as they made love. 'That's my Rose.' And the whole time she was wishing that he was thinking about her. Once their passions were spent and the Doctor was fast asleep, Rose slipped out of the bed and made her way to her own room. She laid there and cried herself to sleep, all the while praying that the Doctor didn't remember anything when he woke up.

Her wish was granted. He woke up the next morning with a wicked hangover and the knowledge that Reinette had died, but nothing more. His spirits were still low, but gradually lifting, while Rose's sunk lower and lower every day. Plus she kept getting sick. She finally asked to go home to see her mom.

And those were the event that led up to Rose's current situation, sitting in the bathroom at her mom's house, crying her eyes out. She decided she wasn't going to tell her mom yet. Jackie would freak out, and the Doctor deserved to be the first to know. Rose also knew that this was going to hurt Mickey, even though they hadn't officially been together for several weeks now. But she knew he still had feelings for her.

All these people she was gonna hurt. The thought brought a fresh wave of tears to the already distraught woman's eyes. Once she was finally in order and didn't look so much like she had been bawling, Rose walked out and gave her mum a hug goodbye.

She walked back to the TARDIS slowly, trying to decide if she should tell the doctor now, or just wait. But would he throw her out? Even though it's his child? This froze Rose in her tracks. She didn't know how long she had been standing there, but then a familiar voice broke her out of her reverie.

"Rose!" the Doctor called. "Earth to Rose! What are ya doing out there? Your gonna catch a cold." He grinned at her and she tried to smile back as she walked towards the TARDIS. "Sorry," she said as she reached the doors. She almost laughed at the irony of his 'catch a cold' statement. She had been sick for about three weeks now and he had been too busy in his own little world to notice.

"Well no matter! The TARDIS just made chips!" Rose had smelt that as she walked in and despite the fact that she loved chips, today the smell was making her sick. She clamped her hand over her mouth and ran for the nearest bathroom, which the TARDIS had moved much closer for her. The ship knew about Rose's condition before she did. Rose felt like she was puking up everything she had ever eaten.

Suddenly she felt a gentle hand on her back. Then another pulling back her hair from her face. Once she had finished giving ode to the porcelain gods, she lifted her head and there was a damp washcloth there. The Doctor gently wiped her face and helped her to stand.

"Rose," he said, concerned, "You didn't tell me you were sick. What's the matter?" Rose shook her head. She didn't' feel up to explaining this right now. But before she knew what was happening, the Doctor had moved his hand to her stomach and a startled look crossed his face. After a few seconds he jerked his hand back.

"Rose…You're-you're pregnant!" the dumb-struck man exclaimed. The blond woman was too shocked to say anything. She couldn't deny it now. Her heart was racing. She calmed a bit at the thought that they had taken off right before she had rushed to the bathroom so he couldn't just shoo her out, although he could just turn right around and take her back home.

An angry look flashed across the shocked time lord's eyes. "Is it Mickey's?" he demanded. Rose just shook her head.

"Then one of those French men? Tell me who did this to you!" Rose almost laughed at his demand.

"You." She whispered. The Doctor shook his head vigorously and jerked backwards. "No possible way!" he cried. "We've never even done anything like that!"

Rose felt her heart breaking more and more each second.

"But when?" the man cried indignantly. Rose looked up at him sadly. "The night Reinette died." She said softly. "You were drunk. Very very drunk. And you asked me to help you forget. Pleaded with me. And I gave in. I left before you woke up."

The Doctor only stared at her in shock for a few moments before he finally spoke. "No! I-I don't remember any of this!" Rose just nodded her head sadly. "Like I said, you were very drunk." In a whirlwind, the dark haired man grabbed up Rose and marched her down to the medical bay, all the while muttering about her lying and there was no possible way. The distraught girl was trying not to scream in frustration.

She knew it would backfire if she slept with him that night. She was so stupid. And Rose felt like she was getting what she deserved. She knew when she agreed to sleep with him that what she was doing was wrong. That she was just setting herself up for heartbreak. Because even though she loved him with everything in her, she knew he didn't return those feelings and he was just looking for a distraction that night.

They reached the medical bay and he plopped her down on a bed before running to the other side of the room. He ran back and using more force than necessary pushed her back against the bed. He grabbed her shirt and yanked it up, not even bothering to ask permission, then placed an instrument he had retrieved on top of her stomach and started pressing random buttons.

Soon there were words and images and sounds popping up in front of his face and before long he gasped. Rose just stared at him. The frazzled man began pacing feverishly around the room, running his hands through his hair and talking at the speed of light. Finally Rose had had enough. "Well?" she asked impatiently.

The Doctor seemed to notice her for the first time. "The baby it-it has….two heartbeats."

A smile almost spread across Rose's face at the confirmation that it was, indeed, the Doctor's baby. But he didn't seem happy at all. He continued his feverish muttering at a more alarming rate than before. Suddenly he whirled around to face her.

"But I don't remember!" he cried. "I remember her dying and getting drunk but after that I only remember waking up…naked." He finished quietly. "Oh no." He took off out of the room and ran back to the control room. He grabbed the screen and swiveled it around to face him.

"TARDIS I need you to show me the night Reinette died." His ship quivered and he knew she was displeased but he insisted. Finally, that night popped up. He watched it all, well most of it. He fast-forwarded through the lovemaking, too embarrassed to watch, and then watched as Rose silently let herself out of his room and made her way to her own. Then he felt his hearts twinge as he watched her cry herself to sleep.

There were so many emotions swirling through him that he didn't know what to do. Finally, his feet carried him back to the medical bay and there was Rose, sitting on the edge of the table, looking straight down at her swinging feet. And his hearts did a funny leap. And then all at once, he was angry and he didn't know why. He stormed up to Rose and her head jerked up in surprise.

"Why on earth did you agree to that?" he yelled. "You should have simply told me no and walked away!" She looked hurt and offended.

"Well you weren't exactly making it easy on me, now were you?" she retorted.

"I was drunk! You took advantage of me!"

Now Rose really did laugh. "Oh now I took advantage of you? I think you'll find that it was the other way round! You came to me crying about how it hurt and you just needed to forget for a night! I'm so sorry I couldn't stand by and watch a friend suffer!"

Now the Doctor looked down right pissed. "You should have just let me suffer! Now look at the predicament we're in!'

Rose threw her head in her hands and let out a muffled cry. "I'm sorry!" she yelled before she jumped off the bed and ran for her room.

The Doctor just sat down on the floor and put his head in his hands. Oh he had really done it this time.


Ok this is my first Doctor Who fanfiction. And by the way, I don't roll with beta's cause they mess with my head.

So I hope you enjoyed and please review. Next chapter hopefully soon.