Wow! I finished it!! This seemed to be taking forever to write but I was really intent on completing it so, here you have it - my version of 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang' (02x01) with more passion, jealousy, lust and of course, Janto.

I watched the episode over and over again, repeating each scene at least thrice(Not that I'm complaining) and I now feel that I could recite all those dialogues on my own now! And everytime I watched it, that John-James kiss felt even sexier!! Also that part about being the wife is soooo cute! I've always loved John Barrowman but now I have to say that James Marsters is just too good!! Gareth David-Lloyd was lovely, as ever, especially when he says "Are you asking me out on a date?" Don't you think so?

Ok, enough with my babbling. Let's get on with the action.

Disclaimer: If I owned Torchwood we'd get much more Jantoness on the shows and Ianto would be alive..

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

With more kisses and more bangs

"So what about it minion? Can you do it? How good are you? How sharp is your aim? What if you kill her?" hissed the blowfish as the girl in his grasp made frightened noises. "What if I kill her first? Can you shoot before I do? Can you? Dare you. Would you? Won't you?"

Ianto's hands tightened around his gun. He took his aim but was afraid to shoot, in case he hurt the girl. Then came the shock. A bullet whizzed through the blowfish's head.

As the Blowfish's brains flew out the back of its head, Ianto's hand shook even more than it had been moments earlier. He hadn't fired his gun. He was the only one with a clear shot but he hadn't fired his gun. In a pointless act of confusion Ianto looked at his weapon closely before turning around to look directly behind him. His eyes widened.

"Hey kids – d'ya miss me?" Jack laughed.

Ianto had always imagined different things he'd say to Jack when he returned but now that the Captain was here, he couldn't find any words.

"Everyone fine? Owen, can you take care of the man? Gwen Tosh, on with Retcon. Ianto, help me get out alien friend into the SUV." For once, in all this time since Jack had left, the team felt like a team. With Gwen as the leader, it'd been different. They were never sure of what to do but Jack being back with his usual leadership skills made them more comfortable. They'd worked fine, things were more organized yet none of them were ever confident about what they were doing. Jack's return was a relief to them, though none would admit it.


Jack stood observing his team as they worked. They'd arrived back at the Hub and he was stood watching whilst Gwen took charge.

"Got pretty organized without me." He said to no one in particular.

"Yeah well we had to." Gwen said carrying on with her work.

"And did you decorate in here?" He asked looking around the Hub.

"You left us Jack." Gwen pushed him hard against the wall behind him.

He sighed as he straightened up. "I know… I'm sorry."

"We knew nothing Jack."

"Where were you?" Toshiko asked simply.

Jack smiled to himself as he remembered. "I found my doctor."

"Did he fix you?" Owen asked.

"What's to fix? You don't mess with this level of perfection." He smirked.

"Are you going back to him?" Ianto asked sadly, hoping that Jack would say no.

Jack looked at Ianto, full of guilt. He couldn't bear to see the archivist so sad and it broke his heart to think that he was the cause of it.

"I came back for you." He said looking straight into Ianto's eyes. "All of you." He added, still afraid of admitting his feelings like that.

The Rift Monitor alert suddenly went off preventing any further conversation. As he saw the team gather the equipment, he wondered if it'd have been better to stay away and never to come back. They seemed to be going on well without him. But then he cast a glance at the archivist and he knew that returning was worth it. He couldn't expect everything to go back to normal but at least he could see Ianto everyday, help him if he was in danger. At least he'd know that Ianto was fine.

The young archivist glanced at the Captain and smiled slightly. He had determined on not forgiving Jack too soon but now that he saw the American in front of him, it was too much to resist. How could he after Jack's words at the hub. That had been as good as declaring his love for the Welshman. He couldn't bear the heart-broken look in Jack's eyes. He was still hurt about Jack leaving but at this moment all he wanted to do was to kiss Jack. What would he not give to see that smile reach back to the Captain's eyes. Yet, he kept a check on his emotions.

Gwen looked at Jack and was happy inside that he was back. She too was still angry at Jack leaving them but she knew it won't stay so for long. She'd missed him. The girl couldn't help feel a pang of jealousy when Jack had said he'd come back for Ianto. He may have added a 'for all of you' after that but there were no doubts that Ianto had been more important a reason than any of them. Could Jack really care about the archivist? No, that couldn't be. Fine, Ianto was a nice bloke but he was still their 'coffee-boy'. And this was Jack Harkness we were talking of. Jack was never serious about anyone, let alone someone so below his standards. He was just playing to get his part-time shag back, Gwen decided.

Tosh was happy. She was relieved that Jack was here. No matter how much he'd hurt them by leaving, he was back now. She'd seen how they had been without him. No doubt they were more organized but all relationships were just professional. The light, friendly atmosphere of the hub had been changed to a cold business air. She knew they'd get back to the happy days now that Jack was here. Moreover, Jack had made it pretty clear that he was back for Ianto. The Japanese girl was happy for her friend. She knew Ianto really loved Jack and Jack too saw him as more than a fuck-buddy. She hoped for the best as they went to the sight of the Rift Activity together as a team, with Captain Jack Harkness as their leader.

Owen hated Jack. He hated him for leave them like that and now he hated him for coming back. He would never say it loud but he'd always seen the captain as a father figure. His sudden departure had been a blow to him. But now just when he was starting to come to terms with it, he came back as if nothing had happened. And this wasn't just about him. He thought of Ianto, how the young man used sat in Jack's office or hours, crying, remembering his lover. Again, he'd never admit it but he had developed a soft corner for Ianto. He could forgive Jack for hurting him, after all he never made his emotions clear. But he could never forgive him for hurting the archivist, whose feelings for Jack were not hidden from the immortal man, who hurt him inspite of knowing it all.


On inspecting the scene, they found nothing out of place, except of course the man lying below the building after a high jump. Jack was about to open the door of the SUV when his wrist strap started beeping.

"Woah. That never beeps." Ianto said.

"That's what I was thinking." Jack said as he pressed a few buttons. A blue holographic figure appeared in front of them.

"I can't believe I got the answer machine. What could you be doing that's more important than me? Anyway. You probably traced the energy shift. Found the body. Or me. Sorry about the mess. Bill me for the clean up. Now, drinks. Retrolock the transmission co-ordinate that's where I am. And hurry up. Work to do. Help me Obi-Wan Kanobi – you're my only hope."

The figure vanished as suddenly as it had appeared.

"Stay here. Don't come after me." Jack ordered before speeding off with the SUV.

Ianto called out a taxi, the team climbed in, Toshiko tracked the SUV using her monitor and gave the driver directions.


"Ok, so who the hell was that bloke in the hologram?" Owen asked, though he knew that the others were just as clueless as him.

"Jack recognized him," said Ianto, not much in a reply but in mere speculation.

"Why didn't he let us go with him?" wondered Toshiko.

"'Cause it's typical Jack, isn't he? He disappears, he comes back and he runs away again. Shuts out everyone. We don't even know his real name," answered Gwen, not too happy with Jack's ways.

"Or which time he comes from?" added Tosh.

"Exactly. He's supposed to be our boss and we know nothing about him. Drives me crazy."

"It's more fun with him around," said Ianto, breaking the silence that had fallen.

"Yeah" said Owen and the girls agreed.


As Jack entered the pub, he saw John waiting for him and grinned. The two of them walked towards each other. At first they stared ar each other, there faces so close that they could feel the other's warm breath. Then as if on cue, the two Captains smashed their lips against each other. John had craved for that mouth since so long. He moved his tongue inside Jack's mouth, exploring every crevice, remembering it's everlasting sweet flavour. The kiss grew more and more passionate and the two men grabbed each other in desire. Jack held John's neck with one hand and moved the other through Hart's hair while John hands moved all over Jack's back. Full of lust, John brought his right hand forward to undo the buttons of Jack's shirt.

That was when the immortal came to his senses.

"That was past John. We're done now"

"But you still-"

"No I don't. I've got someone else."

"Fine. But we can still have a drink, for old times sake?" He could see that Jack was serious.

"Thought you'd never ask," said Jack, his trademark grin back on his face.


As the taxi pulled up outside a bar and the Torchwood team could hear the shattering of glass from inside.

"I have a feeling that we've got the right place." Owen smirked as they pulled out their guns and went in.


"Everything alright Jack?" asked Gwen.

"It's ok, ok, ok" Jack reassured his team members as they entered, their guns raised.

"You've got a team? How sweet!" exclaimed John. "Oh, a pretty little friend"

"Oh he's worse than Jack," whispered Owen.

"Hey do you have a team name? I love team names, go on."

"Torchwood," answered Jack.

"Oh. Not Excalibur? Blizzard? Bikini Cups? No? Torchwood oh dear!"

"Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper meet -" Jack started to introduce his team to John.

"Captain John Hart." John interrupted.

"We go back." Jack said, ignoring the interruption.

"Excuse me, we more than go back. We were partners."

"In what way?" Ianto asked, feeling a bit insecure inspite of himself.

"In every way."

"It was two weeks," said Jack.

"Except that those two weeks were trapped in a time loop so we were together for five years. It was almost like having a wife."

"You were the wife," argued Jack.

"No you were the wife."

"No, you were the wife"

"Oh, but I was a good wife," retorted John.

"I bet you were," Tosh said, smiling. "What? Pretend you haven't noticed he's cute," she added as Owen gave her a questioning look.

"They're just shy," John said.

"What are you doing here?" asked Jack, going back to his business-like voice.


As they all moved to the Conference Room, Jack noticed a ring on Gwen's hand.

"Gwen, that's an engagement ring?" he asked a bit surprised. Ianto stiffened up behind him, unsure of why he was bothered. Of course Jack was the boss, he had a right to ask his employees if they were getting married. But the fact that the employee here was Gwen didn't help.

"Yeah," Gwen answered.

"You getting married?"

"Yes. Uh - Rhys asked.... When you were away" Gwen tried to search Jack's eyes for any hint of jealousy but found none.

"Wow, Gwen Cooper getting married! Down on one knee?" Jack laughed, a bit unsure of a Torchwood employee getting married.

"Well he tried to"

"And you said yes?"

"I have no one else to love me." Gwen tried her best you-are-the-one-who-should-have-asked-so-now-feel-guilty expression and yet, there was no regret in Jack's eyes.

"Good for you," Jack replied, smiling as he squeezed her shoulder affectionately before walking over to Ianto's side.

"I'm sorry," he whispered so that only the Welshman could hear him.

Ianto pursed his lips and nodded as they entered the Conference Room.


The team decided to split up and go in pairs. Gwen went with John, Toshiko with Owen and Jack with Ianto.


"If you're not found in two hours, your major organs will go into shut down," John informed Gwen as he took her cell phone and went out, leaving the girl lying on the floor.


The bullet hit Owen in the side and he collapsed down to the floor as John picked up the canister and walked away.


"Oh yeah. Loving that office feel. Always get excited in these places. To me they're exotic. Office romances. Photocopying your butt. Well maybe not your butt… though as we're here why don't we photocopy…" Jack talked pointlessly trying to calm down his nerves.

Ianto cut him off. "The Rift was active at these co-ordinates approximately two hundred feet above ground which means this floor or the roof." He too felt nervous, being with Jack after such a long time. He just wished that they were at some other place, reuniting properly, having fun; not on a bloody mission.

"How are you Ianto?" Jack asked.

"All the better for having you back sir." Ianto replied, not meeting Jack's eye.

"Can we maybe drop the sir now?" Jack began, his heart beating erratically. "I mean while I was away… I… I was thinking… maybe we could… you know… when this all done… dinner… movie…" It had gone so much more smoothly in his head, he'd ask Ianto - 'I was thinking how about a movie tonight? And then maybe dinner?' and Ianto would reply - 'Sure I'd love that.' But when he started to actually say it, Jack felt so scared. Even the End Of The World seemed to be safer than this.

Ianto turned to face him, hands on hips. "Are you asking me out on a date?" He said, a bit shocked. Jack was asking him out? Did that mean he wanted something more than just fucking?

"Interested?" Jack asked.

"Uh… well… as long as it's not in an office. Some fetishes should be kept to yourself." Ianto turned away from Jack to hide his blush.

"Looks like we're going to have to go through every drawer, bin and plant pot." Jack said changing the subject as Ianto kept looking around.

"Right… okay. I'll do this floor – don't want you getting over excited. You take the roof – you're good on roofs." Jack nodded, turning to back out the doors they'd come in through.

"Jack?" He called.

Jack stopped, looking back at Ianto.

"Why are we helping him?"

"He's a reminder of my past. I want him gone." Jack said simply."By the way, was that a yes?"

"Yes." Ianto said quickly.

Jack raised his eyebrows and smiled before walking out. But the next moment, he entered the office again and walked upto the archivist. He wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist and pressed his chest agai st the other's back.

"I missed you," he whispered into the young man's ear.

"I missed you too." Ianto replied, breathless.

"I promise I won't leave again"

Ianto nodded. "We'll have lots of time to talk, let's finish this up first?" he said, changing the subject.

"Yeah you're right. I'll go check the roof," replied Jack as he moved away from the Welshman and went out.


Ianto's stomach clenched as John ran his index finger slowly against the Welshman's jawline.

"Ah, eye candy! I have to admit Jack has a good choice. You are pretty."

John had Ianto pinned to the wall. He moved closer so that their faces were almost touching.

"Fuck off Hart. You - " Ianto's words were cut off by John's lips that crashed against the archivist's. On recieving no response, John ran a finger up the other's thigh, eliciting a gasp. He took this chance to move his tongue inside Ianto's mouth.

Ianto couldn't bear it. John's hand continuously stroked his thigh, moving closer to his groin. Tears burned up in his eyes. He caught the moment when John was too deep into the kiss, pushed the time-traveller off him, kicked him hard and ran into the elevator. He quickly pressed the button for the ground floor.

Once he stood safely in the elevator, Ianto took a deep breath. That was when he realised that Jack was still up there. Ok, Jack can take care of himself, but I need to get Tosh and Owen. And Gwen too.


The team couldn't believe that this was the end of it. After all that had happened, from Hart coming to Torchwood to betraying them to locking himself to Gwen to Jack injecting Torchwood DNA into him, it all seemed so surreal. Yet finally, it was over.

"You need a new team member -"

"No" Jack replied resolutely.

"Really I could - "


"But -"

"No. Go, you can harness the residual rift energy"

"Listen - "


"Ok," said John as he placed a hand on JacK's neck and brought their lips to meet. Jack just stood there, giving no response.

Disheartened, John walked off into the Rift opening. "By the way I found Gray," he said before leaving.

Jack stood there as if he'd seen a ghost. No, it couldn't be, he thought.

"Who's Gray?" asked Gwen.

"Nothing. Let's get back to the hub," repiled the Captain, his smile back on his face.

Jack walked up to his team and put an arm around Ianto's waist as they went back.

A/N 2 : So what do you think?

I just didn't like the idea of Jack talking to Gwen alone so I made it look like they were all there when he had the conversation. Maybe you noticed that I cut Gwen's dialogue when she said about Rhys getting on one knee, I couldn't get her accent there. So, I'd like someone to tell me what it was so that I can edit it. Also the 'you left us" thing is something Jack should talk to Ianto not Gwen. And my Jack is sure he's in love with Ianto so all his worries about the marriage are professional. He's not going to fall for any of Gwen's cheap tricks.

The John - Ianto scene - I don't know where that came from but when it did, I liked the idea, so I let it be.

And btw, in the show when Gwen asks him if he'd prefer to be called Captain or John, what option does he give her?

I was planning to do the whole season 2 like this and maybe CoE also(though I haven't watched it yet. They're still showing season 2 here, saw episode 9 two days back) For God's sake, we need, deserve and desire more fluff than what we got from RTD. But since this took too long to complete, I'm not so sure now. Please review if you liked it and want more. I need to know that someone's gonna read it if I put so much time and energy into it. So give a boost to my ego and review :)