Author's note: Oh my gosh!! I don't know about you guys, but I'm absolutely DEVASTED that Grams died last night. Devastated!! She was such a great character!! So strong and full of life!! I am TRULY going to miss her. I wrote this fic in honor of her. A lot of hurtful things came out of last night's episode and only ONE good thing: Anna getting her mom back. So in honor of Grams/Shelia and all of the hurt last night, I write this fic. Let's send Shelia off the right way. Enjoy!
My heart is broken; your heart is too
I can feel the pain radiating from you
I can see the bags beneath your eyes
I can see the sadness you try to hide
I know what you are going through
For I'm going through the same thing too
Nursing a beating drum that's been torn apart
Let's put our pieces together and form one big heart
A heart that doesn't hurt, a heart that doesn't feel
Let's come together and form the unreal
And just for tonight in my arms you'll stay
And together we'll make the sadness all go away
"Two wounded hearts" – RockerChick08
Two Wounded Hearts
Bonnie Bennett shakes her head slightly, awakening from her trancelike state and feasting her attention upon her very agitated looking English teacher.
"I said, can you please tell me the names of the two main characters in "The Great Gatsby?!" the middle aged woman repeats.
Bonnie sighs, after a few silent seconds, before uttering a quiet "no," face devoid of emotion. "I'm sorry I don't know." the hazel eyed girl says softly.
The teacher slightly glares at her before addressing her question to another one of the students. She's frustrated with her; Bonnie knows it, but she doesn't care. Her face immediately takes on the spaced out look it had moments ago.
She can feel Elena's eyes on her. She's concerned no doubt, but Bonnie's grown tired of assuring her friend that she is fine, grown tired of lying, because she is most definitely not fine. But she supposed Elena knew this, considering she'd told the same lie several times, months ago…who cared? Bonnie didn't. None of it mattered; whether Elena knew the truth or not, it wasn't like she could do any thing about it.
Bonnie was hurting. Bonnie was hurting badly. And although people had tried to ease her pain; her father had tried, Caroline had tried, Elena and Stefan; but unless they could bring her back, they weren't helping much.
Oh but they were trying, they were trying so hard, but there was a huge gaping hole in the witch's heart, a hole that only she could fill, Grams.
Bonnie still can't believe she's gone, even a week after her funeral. She can't believe it, doesn't want to believe, but deep inside she knows it's true.
Her Grams is gone. The woman who'd practically raised her, especially after her mother's death, was gone. Her best friend, the lady who'd always believed in her no matter what, was gone. Her Grams had been so full of life. She'd been so wise, so loving, so caring, and strong. Bonnie had thought she was invincible...and now she was gone.
And now Bonnie was lost. She was lost…and alone. At least that was how she felt: lost, and without a clue; Bonnie didn't know what to do.
He watches her, flies above her driving car from a distance, cursing the pouring rain that wets his dark, beautiful feathers. It's almost perfect that it is raining; the gloomy weather matches the gloom in the witch's heart, the gloom in his heart.
It's been a week since her Grandmother's funeral, a little over a week since he'd found out the truth about Katherine, and a week since the day he'd started following her. He's made it a habit of watching her. It just helps…it helps to be around her. It eases the pain slightly to know that he's not the only one who's feeling it. Sure they are grieving over different things: her over her Grandmother and him over Katherine, but still they are both grieving nonetheless, and badly at that.
When he'd found out the truth about Katherine, Damon didn't know how to feel. He didn't know whether to feel depressed or furious. There had been so many emotions surging through the vampire that he couldn't seem to settle on just one.
After all his many years of searching, pining, and hurting, Katherine wasn't even in the damn tomb!! And to add insult to injury, she supposedly had been running around free, all this time, not giving a damn about him or anyone else for that matter.
He was furious, he was livid; he felt used, stupid, and that only pissed him off further. But even more than his feelings of anger, he felt hurt, heartbroken. He'd found out that the love of his life didn't give a shit about him, basically found out that he'd wasted the last century or so, looking for someone who didn't want him.
It hurt. It hurt badly, like someone ripping out your heart and putting it through a shredder. The pain was nearly unbearable; the urge to do something, but feeling powerless to do any thing at all, was torturing. He'd lost time he could never get back. Done things he could never be forgiven for. It was devastating.
Stefan and Elena had tried to help, oh had they tried. They were both practically glued to his hip 24/7, trying to spend time with him, trying to take his mind off of every thing. But they could only do so much. They could only sympathize, pity, and he didn't want pity. They didn't know how it really felt. They were happy. They had each other.
Bonnie. She was hurting. She was feeling pain just as he was. It made him feel connected to her…in some weird kind of way, made him want to be around her, to feel her pain and feel his, to know that he wasn't alone. Although he was grateful to Stefan and Elena, grateful for their understanding and compassion; they weren't able to ease his pain like the witch was.
They'd tried to reach out to her too. When the "dream team" wasn't with Damon, they were with her. Elena spent countless amounts of time with her. He'd supposed it helped. Sometimes the witch didn't look utterly depressed, but still she was hurting. It was obvious.
Damon knew this more than anyone, for he had been the one who'd been watching her, venturing to places where she didn't allow others. He'd been the one who'd watch her cry herself to sleep and then toss and turn with flesh shaking nightmares about her Grams. He'd been the one who'd seen the sad and awkward interactions between her and her father at her home. He'd seen it all, and more. It honestly made his pain seem feeble in comparison.
They were both imprisoned by deep sadness, a deep sadness that no other person in all of Mystic Falls was feeling. They were connected; they were one in the same. Damon knows this; it's what has drawn him to the witch for the past week. But Damon's tired of just watching, tired of following and staring. He wants more, which is why he flies with a purpose this rainy evening.
He knows the routine. Bonnie was going to go to her Grams house. She was going to look at old pictures and videos of them together, sniff her Gram's old spices and furniture, and then cry herself to sleep while wrapped around one of her Gram's pillows. He knows the routine all too well. But not tonight!
He was going to be with Bonnie tonight; and they were going to sleep together, have sex, wild, hot, passionate, sex. He would fill her, and she would feel him, and they would both feel pure pleasure and bliss. They would forsake the pain, forsake the problems of their lives for one night, one night of passion. And maybe, just maybe they'd be allowed a moment of peace.
Damon longed for her, craved for her company, desired a profound connection with the grieving witch, and he figured, what better a connection than sex.
He was determined. They were going to sleep together that night; she would ease his pain and he hers. Now he just had to figure out how he was going to get her to go along with it…
The sound of his name, snaps the vampire out of his thoughts as he looks down to see who has uttered his name.
He is shocked to see that it is Bonnie. It's Bonnie who is standing outside of her car, which is parked in front of her Gram's house.
He briefly wonders when they'd made it there, but even more how her voice, timid Bonnie's voice, could sound so cold.
"I know you're there. Show yourself." He hears her say once more, voice low and cold.
Damon doesn't move, merely eyes the witch, who moves to stand in front of her porch. Does she really know that he's there? How does she know he's there?!
"I know you followed me here. Come out." She says, biting out the last two words.
Well this hadn't been the way he'd wanted to approach Bonnie with his proposition but…
"Hello Bonnie." Damon finally says, sweeping down in front of the witch and landing in human form. His voice is in full Damon mode; he's in full Damon mode, except his usual smirk is absent and has been replaced with an emotionless expression.
"What the hell do you want?" the hazel eyed beauty snaps, vindictively eyeing the soaked vampire. Damon is further thrown off by her hostile tone. He knew she was hurt, but seriously. What is wrong with the witch? Why is she being so cold and hostile? She hadn't been that way towards Stefan or Elena, not even her father.
"To talk to you…" he finally sighs after a few moments of contemplating the woman's angry state.
"To talk me?!" Bonnie sputters indignantly, throwing Damon off even further. "To talk to me?!" she exclaims with disdain, shivering slightly in the rain. "I…hate you." She says slowly through clenched teeth, and for some odd reason, Damon's heart clenches at the words. "I hate you more than I've ever hated any thing in my entire life."
He honestly doesn't know why he's so surprised by her words, why he's so surprised by her anger. She has every right to be angry with him. He's done nothing but cause her pain ever since the Emily incident. She'd disliked him since then; it made since that her feelings would grow into hatred after losing her Grams. She probably needed someone to blame things on.
"I know." is his reply, simple and plain. He nods his head in understanding as he speaks.
"It's your fault." Bonnie lets out, tears in her voice, as she stares at Damon, looking utterly broken. But soon an intense fire overcomes her features and in one swift movement, she moves in front of the vampire and slaps him hard across the face, causing his head to whip back slightly.
"It's your fucking fault my Grams is dead!!" she exclaims, slapping Damon once more before punching him repeatedly in the chest, and oddly enough, he doesn't stop her. "You just had to get in that tomb and get your precious Katherine back!!" she says through clenched teeth, tears now flowing freely down her beautiful face, mixing in with the rain, as her fists still on his chest. "If it wasn't for you, my Grams would be alive." Bonnie says bringing her, still clenched, fists down to her side, and dropping her head down in utter exhaustion.
"I know." Damon repeats.
"What makes you think I would ever want to talk to you?!" Bonnie continues relentlessly, ignoring Damon's previous words and looking up to direct a cold glare to him.
"I know, Bonnie."
"What the hell do you know, Damon?!" Bonnie yells, at wits end with the vampire, at wits end with every thing. "What do you know?!" she exclaims, backing up slightly as a sob escapes her lips. "You don't know any thing Damon!! You don't know anything!"
"I know that you cry yourself to sleep every night."
The words silence her, seem to echo in her ears continuously as she looks away from his knowing gaze. How in the world would he know this? How in the world does he know this??
"I know that you've been having nightmares about your Grams." Damon presses on. "I know that you feel incredibly alone." He says quietly, and Bonnie looks up and their eyes meet briefly. "Your Grams was the one family member you could completely be yourself around, and now there's just your dad…who just doesn't understand, only knows half of you, and chooses to ignore the fact that you are a witch." The vampire says slowly, blue eyes boring into her brown-green.
She squirms under his stare, biting her lip nervously and running a hand through her long, curly, wet locks.
"I know that you're scared. I know that you're hurt." Damon continues. "I know that you loved your Grams…and she loved you. She wouldn't want you to be sad."
Bonnie closes her eyes tightly.
"And how would you know?" she says shakily, refusing to look at the evil man before her. "You didn't know the first thing about her."
"You're right." Damon relents, shrugging slightly. "But I know that she loved you, and when you love someone you don't want them to hurt." He says, willing Bonnie to see, even though her eyes are closed, that he is sincere.
"I understand Bonnie. Believe me, I understand." He says softly, eyeing the small woman.
Bonnie's eyes are still wrenched closed and her lips start to quiver as she lets her mind go back to that fateful night, and she cries. She cries because deep down inside she doesn't blame Damon, she blames herself. It was her fault, all her fault.
She had been the one who'd asked Grams to help her with the spell that lowered the boundaries of the tomb. It'd been her. It was her fault that Grams had performed the powerful magic; it was her fault that she'd been weakened; it was her fault that she died.
Bonnie literally shakes with sobs as she relives the fateful night. She sees her weak Grams, sees herself fussing and worrying over her, sees her making tea for her. Her heart literally stops for a moment at the memory of going into that room and finding her Grams dead, the memory of knowing that things would never be the same again, the memory of complete and utter devastation.
"She was my best friend!" Bonnie brokenly lets out through a sob, hysterically wiping at her tears. "I loved her so much!"
"Sssh. I know." Damon says softly, taken aback by Bonnie's open exclamation and the way it makes his heart feel. "She knows Bonnie." He assures her before uncharacteristically embracing her, wrapping his arms around her small frame and holding her. And surprisingly she doesn't let go, in fact she clings to him, buries her face in his neck and clings to the fabric of his shirt. "She's in a better place now, Bonnie; you've got to let her go. She'd want you to." He quietly whispers, running his fingers through her wet hair.
"I just don't know what I'm going to do without her." Bonnie says shakily. "What am I supposed to do without her?" she repeats, breaking away from his neck and staring up at him like a lost child.
"Live." Damon answers after a couple of silent seconds. He looks into her beautiful eyes. "That's all you can do. Take one day at a time, the pain won't always be there."
He gently places a hand on her cheek; and for a moment, they appear to be a scene out of a romantic movie, looking in each other's eyes, holding each other tightly in the pouring rain.
Damon lowers his head ever so slightly and plants a chaste kiss on Bonnie's lips. She looks at him with doe like eyes and he deepens it, and she allows him to; she even kisses him back with equal, if not more passion. The kiss grows heated as Bonnie moves her hands into Damon's hair and he moves his tongue into her mouth. The minute their tongues touch, a fire warms both entities to the core and they struggle for a moment, battling one another for dominance before Bonnie finally gives in with a relenting moan.
They kiss fiercely, wildly, passionately and don't stop until lack of air forces them to. They break apart, both panting heavily, chests heaving as they struggle to regain normal breathing.
Damon smirks at her. Boy did she have talented lips. And a small smile graces her features.
"You won't always be sad, Bonnie." He tells her, an assuring look on his face as he kisses her lightly on the forehead. "Invite me in." he tells her once his lips move away from his forehead.
"What? Why?" Bonnie sputters in surprise before moving out of Damon's embrace and finally abandoning the rain for shelter on her Grandmother's porch.
"Tonight you won't be alone." Damon says, moving with swift vampire speed and coming to stand in front of her. "I'm going to be here. You can cry one me; you can even tell me all the sappy stories you want, and I won't leave. I'll be there the entire time, holding you." He tells her, wondering why sleeping with her all of a sudden doesn't seem so important.
"Why would you do that…" she asks hesitantly, eyeing him suspiciously. "What's in it for you??"
She hates the way she let him kiss her, hates the way she responded to his kiss, hates the way it affected her, hates the way he affects her. Even more, she hates the way she honestly doesn't want him to leave, the way she wants – no needs him to stay.
Damon takes a step closer to her, running his hands down her arms, feeling the fabric of the soaked cotton jacket she is wearing. He sighs, before bringing his hands back down to his sides and staring into her eyes.
"I don't want to be alone, Bonnie." He tells her. "I'm hurting too…Maybe we can help ease both of our pain." He says, staring hopefully.
Bonnie's face is expressionless.
"Why not be with someone –
"I don't want someone else." He interrupts, eyes staring intensely into hers. "I want you."
Bonnie's breath hitches, noticeably and she tenses momentarily before relaxing slightly.
"Are we going to sleep together?" she asks him. Her voice is so soft, so small, and she sounds so fragile that he almost wants to say "no," but…he might as well be truthful.
"Probably" he finally says. "But if you don't we can go easy and –
The two words silence him, calm his heart and soul. He sighs in relief before smiling down at Bonnie who, for the first time in a week, is smiling a true genuine smile.
He scoops her up into his arms and smiles down at her before pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead and entering the house.
Tonight they will not feel pain, hurt, or sorrow. They will only feel each other and the comfort, the peace they have to offer.
And just for tonight in my arms you'll stay
And together we'll make the sadness all go away
Author's note: That's it!! I hope you guys enjoyed this. I was actually thinking it was a royal screw up until I finished it and liked the ending. I hope you guys liked it!! I sadly am not going to include "Words of Wisdom" to this because it's SO late and I just want to post and go to sleep!! Argh!! Sleep will feel heavenly right about now!! I will say however, that I do NOT condone sex as a means to erase pain! It works great in the world of entertainment but not so well in real life!! I suggest handling lost with lots of prayer and church!! Anty how, please review. I must give a shout out to someone who wrote another Grams inspired story. I had already started mine but had stopped in the middle, when I read there's it gave me motivation to hurry up and post mine! It was a pretty good story, check it out if you have the time (Don't exactly remember the name. And didn't get to review for it yet. ) Again, please review for this; I would love to know what you guys thought!! And if you liked, please check out my other two Bamons!! (Awesome couple!!) God bless! Rest in Peace Grams; we love you!!