Back in the kitchen Neil began to pace back and forth across the still gritty tiles which reminded him he still had to clear up , he grabbed at his long hair and began to tug nervously and jabbered on to nobody as normal "Oh oh i dont understand it..ive amended my bad karma im sure of it I gave Mike his monster back.... but i feel so dirty still.....even if i went to the laundrette and put myself in them like 50 million times id still come out dirty and people will shout out poooo smelly hippy ,,,,,,anyway enough about yesterday ....ive got stained bad karma...the only thing i can think of....is to hide away..right..hide away ...from anymore Bad Karma coming to get me..for the rest of my life that way things cant get worse... " .
Neil stopped pacing and with a fierce look of determination , or as fierce as he could possibly manage strode across the kitchen stepping in the ketchup for the 5th time but not pausing as he grabbed a large box folded behind the bin , taking it out he turned the folds towards him and then placed it above his head blocking out his vision before he crouched to the ground laying down in his silent tescos value oranges cardboardy tomb , feeling content Neil let out a sigh of relief untill the door bell rung out .
"Oh No....Well I'm not going to get it..I'm not part of that world now , its just me...a few lentils...and whats that here..." Neil muttered to himself reaching across the floor untill his hand landed in a pile of sticky goo " Ughh...Tomatoe Ketchup" .
The door bell continued to ring out with loud dongs and dings and a few bzzzings , which was caused through a dying battery which Neil would have to change at some point soon no doubt. The door bell continued buzzing untill a whiny shout from Rick upstairs cut into " Arent you gonna get the Vyvian?????" .
Which was immediatley followed by a gruffer slurred drunken voice "Arent you gonna get that Rick????" . Rick felt outraged Vyvian had just disobyed him , and he was after all the peoples poet , he was the one who said what they were all thinking and could stand up the mass's and tell them what the kids wanted , or so he thought . So Rick got up off Cliff Richard duvet design set bed tripped over the 324 pages of his unfinished thesis of William Hague being Thatchers love child " NO Im not actually im above the menial task of door openineg actually!!!!" .
There was a brief silence in which Rick smuggly sneered thinking he had won and Vyvian had decided to go and answer the door , but Ricks thoughts were quickly cut into by another shout "your gonna get it or Ill smash your girle face in " .
Rick hurried down the landing and stomped down the stairs two at a time as the door bell continued to ring out "blummin flip hold on hold on ..really this is most inconvinent...i cant BELIVE i have to do this right whislt i was in the midst of studying for my exams "." Rubbish...you were W***** over *the Radio times interview with Felicity Kendall " shouted Vyvian.
Causing Rick to stop half way down the stairs turn around in fury and shout back "I was not ", " were..." " NOT" .
Rick felt infuritated , how dare Vyvian accuse him of such rotten morbid thoughts over the rather brilliant Miss Kendall , and his thought began to wonder onto the episode of THe Good Life where they did nude gardening , Rick wasn't sure if this was a real episode but he tried hard to think about it and remember if the events did actually happen .
But just as Felicity was about to put down the large sunflower pot conviently covering her jugs in the brilliantly imagined episode that would have the BBC squares screeching for it to be cut immediatley in fear of a revolution ,Vyvian interupted once again " VIRGIN!!!!!" .
Rick rolled back his sleeves and pranced back up the stairs screeching " WIGHT youve asked for it Matey!! Oh bloody yes fisticuff revolutions!!" .
He stormed across the landing grabbed onto vyvians knob and yanked it , the door of course , what else? silly boy.
But was met by Vyvians fist in his face , and then treated to a first hand in depth close up look of a framed portrait of Johhny Rotten before Vyyian grabbed Rick by the jacket and slung him out sending him wobbling down the stairs and tumbling down " ow ow owwww oww ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow....eeeeew"
Rick dusted himself off as he reached the bottom and rubbed his hand on his jeans " Who put Ketchup on the stairs!!!!......... Well anyway Vyvian.....I think we know who is Boss now!!
The door bell rung once again as Rick pulled it open to a short middle aged woman with long flowing hair , a shiny complexion on a perculiar angular shaped face with ruby earings danging on her little earlobes, moving his eyes down Rick observed her flowing purple dress marked with a pattern of stars and moons , it was most vulgar actually he thought before blurting out " Who on earth are you?" .