Here is a short little oneshot that just randomly popped into my head yesterday. I hope you enjoy! Please review!
Disclaimer- I do not own Psych or any of its characters.
He'd been getting phone calls all week. Emails. Texts (he didn't even know he got those). He thought that it was a coincidence. I mean, 12 people could just happen to call him by accident within 6 days, right? Right? But now he knew the truth. They weren't wrong numbers. They weren't spam emails. There is a reason for everything.
Carlton Lassiter stared at his computer screen with an open mouth. I'm going to kill him; I'm going to kill him. He thought.
Lassiter had finally gotten fed up with the emails. He opened one up. There was a link, which he clicked.
A dating website. Seriously? A DATING WEBSITE?!?!?!
Then Lassiter saw something that made him want to scream. He, Carlton Lassiter, had a profile page. He, Carlton Lassiter had never made a profile page.
Lassiter clicked on another link. It brought him to his page. His own face was smiling up at him. Where did he get this picture? And then he read the description. As he read, he could actually feel his face getting red with anger. His temperature went up, as did his blood pressure.
Hello all. My Name is Carlton (Carly) Lassiter (Lassie). I'm 39 years old, 4 months, 28 days, 5 hours, 9 minutes and 25 seconds. Wait. 27. Now 29. Oh, well, you get the gist. I'm rather tall and gangly. No, lanky is the right word. I've been told that I have a firm jaw and a strong Irish hairline, but that's neither here nor there. I work at a sugar mill here in North Dakota. It is an honorable profession. I enjoy long walks on the beach and romantic comedies. The best Saturday night is one spent soaking in a bubble bath with a gallon of pineapple ice cream. I have 17 pets, 12 of the chia variety. I'll tell you what, those things are like magic. Anyways, I'm very sensitive and love to just talk. I'm completely against violence. I need someone in my life that I can spoil. Someone who I can worship. Please call, text, or email.
Underneath his real phone number and email was listed.
Carlton was fuming. He was sure that smoke was coming out of his ears and his brain was about to boil. Then, across the station, he saw him. The department's snarky psychic, Shawn Spencer.
Spencer had a group of officers around him, he was telling a joke animatedly. Half of the station burst out into hysterical laughter all at once.
"SPENCER!!!!" Lassiter screamed across the station.
Shawn turned and saw him. When they made eye contact, Shawn's smile grew and he shrugged. That was the last straw. Lassiter started running at him. If possible, Shawn's smile grew more. He ran too. Straight into the chief's office.
Well played Spencer, well played.
Thanks so much for reading! So, I think that you should be the most awesome person ever to walk the planet and review, but that's just me. :D