A/N: I had to do some poetry for... well, let's not name any names. But this is what I came up with first. GO, GAI!

(Written as though 'you' are a highschooler.)


What do you do

With a big, black shoe

That belongs to a big, green monstrous form

Sitting in your door, outside the norm?

He is sleeping and snoring

Drooling assuredly-

Yes, it is Gai-sensei

Sleeping in your hall currently...

So what do you do?

What do you do when the Green Beast wakes

Yawns and burps, and smiles and shakes

Your hand: and says, "Hi,

I'm Gai!"

What, my friend, are you ever to do?

Invite him to breakfast- that's what hosts do!

You offer him cereal, butter and toast,

Cinnamon Pop-Tarts of the finest roast;

You pour him some juice, and sit for a spell

Given, of course, that he does not smell

He seems quite a way

From Konohagakure

And lost, he wonders, might he may

In your abode a while stay?

What do you do- besides not frown-

When our favorite Green Sensei comes to town?

You give up your bed, that's what you do!

A thousand and one thanks he gives

As he examines your fish tanks and hair clips;

What wonderous new things in this world are made

For him to break! Oh, now- don't look so staid!

He doesn't mean to mess things up-

He's just like an oversized Mastiff pup:

Much too big for your dainty house,

But ever polite, and as meek as a mouse

So what do you do when your parents return,

To find Gai showing you all he has learned?

Introduce him, of course- that's what you do!

So you allow him your pillow

And introduce him to Jello,

And you have a fine night

Playing Ninja pillow fight-

But when morning comes, and you're off to school,

Who will ensure that Gai follows the rules?

Why not bring him with you?- that's what I'd do!

To the bus you trudge, or perhaps your car,

Wondering how you have made it this far

Show Gai his seat belt, and off you go-

Into the world, for a spectacular show!

First period class is Health and Sex Ed

And Gai asks the questions

That make you wish you were dead

Then on to Gym, to get sweaty and wet

And watch Sensei triumph in calesthetic sets!

Math and Biology, English and Lunch-

He'll help distract you from that big test crunch!

Then History and some elective-

Show him a Waldo book, and he'll get obsessive!

If you've got homework, throw it up in the air!

The advantage you've got with Gai isn't fair!

He's the best of the best, and stylish, too-

He'll net you all the girls in school- it's true!

He'll drive you to work, and anywhere far-

Provided you show him how to work a car…

And if he crashes, fear no rebuke!

One lawsuit and Sensei will put up his dukes!

If he happens to injure the floor,

Doing push-ups, Gai'll do more-

To prove his everlasting respect

And then he'll fix your house, direct!

So what do you do when Gai-sensei appears

At your door with lonely tears,

Asking, can a green beast stay

A while at your home, and bring Lee to play?

There's only one answer to give, my dears-

Throw open the door and ignore your fears!