WE JUST WATCHED THE PJO MOVIE AND OH. MY. GODS!!!!!!!!!! THEY RUINED IT!!!! GROVER WAS THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT ME IN MY SEAT AND NOT THROWING THINGS AT THE SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer-No ownage otherwise I would have screamed at Chris for RUNING my book!!!!
As he stood there he realized that they had made that poster just to mock him. The giant Percy Jackson standing on the waves with the master bolt of Zeus in his hand, looking extremely wicked and cool.
"Too bad you're not as cool as him Percy." Annabeth said through her smile. Percy snorted.
"That is me! Geeze, evil witch in the sea of monsters all over again!" Annabeth glanced at her boyfriend, who looked like he was contemplating either ripping the poster down and stealing it to put in his cabin at cam or catching it on fire.
"You know? 'Member? Circe's island and the evil mirror that showed cool, perfect Percy. HE LOOKED LIKE THAT GUY ON THE POSTER!!!!" Annabeth patted Percy's head.
"It's okay, we're gonna get through this."
Percy's head was suddenly shoved forward, his head nearly denting the cement of the theatre's wall.
"Ouch! Augh, Annabeth, why'd you gotta go and hit me so hard?" Percy complained.
"Pshhhh, please." An all-too familiar voice growled from behind me. "Like I would ever allow that little miss architect steal my supreme awesomeness." Percy turned to find no other than Clarisse in his face, Chris following behind her. Clarisse was smiling evilly and Chris was giving Percy an apologetic smile.
"Oh really?" Percy questioned, already scheming a brilliant plan.
"Then if your SO awesome, why aren't you in the movie?"
Clarisse gave him the death glare. "You're lying, Jackson. I know you haven't seen the movie yet!"
"Correct!" Percy grinned wider. "I have, however, looked up the cast lists, and your name wasn't anywhere on 'em!"
"WHAT?!?!" Just at that prime moment Thalia decided to jump up onto the curve of the sidewalk they were all standing on. Nico following closely. Both of them were dressed in glamorous black, shiny leather here and there mixed with rough cloth and skulls shining silver.
"Sorry Claire but it's true-oh my gods Nico I want your belt!!! SO AMAZING!!! Hmmmm…..daughter of Zeus wants popcorn-GET ON IT JACKSON!!!" Thalia had started yelling at everyone to give her odd things.
Annabeth said reasonably, "Ah, Thalia? Why do you want popcorn? We haven't even gotten inside the theatre yet, let alone bought all the tickets!" She grinned suddenly, glancing at Nico. "I understand why you want Death Boy's belt, though. It's fricken amazing!"
Nico looked even more uncomfortable than he already had been. "Ummm… I feel rather uncomfortable with everyone staring at the junk facility area and then-THALIA WHAT THE HELL!?" Nico flinched as Thalia stroked the belt buckle which was two pistols and a skull held between the two barrels. Thalia was attempting to take the belt off.
"I want this belt and you shall give it to me NOW!!!! TAKE IT OFF NICO!!! TAKE IT OFF NOW!!!" Just as both Nico and Thalia attacked the belt, Thalia kneeling so she could attack it from another position and Nico hacking at it with his chalk fingers from above, their parents decided to walk up. Athena, Poseidon, Zeus, Apollo, Ares and Hades. Nico and Thalia froze, Nico holding what little bit of belt was still threaded through the loops of his pants, Thalia having the rest of it. Every god stopped and gave them a separate look from each; Zeus mortified, Hades thoroughly shocked, Poseidon bemused, Athena mildly disgusted at the PDA, and Apollo grinning because he was nearly positive what was going on. Ares was chuckling in the background, probably about the fact that Zeus' kid was with one of Hade's.
Nico was completely red at this point. "This," he began, "is NOT what it looks like." He continued on, muttering how everything was not what it seemed to be. Thalia used his discomfort to her advantage, ripping the belt from him, holding it up for Zeus to see.
"Daddy, daddy look!" She cried. "I won the Battle of the Belt!" She proceeded to put it on herself, then admired her reflection in the glass of the ticket booth. "Damn, I look good!"
"Nico aren't I sexy!?" Nico glanced at the gods then mumbled something about,
"I'd rather not compliment Thals." Thalia smiled, elbowing him.
"You know I'm sexy in it though, you totally know it. Right Daddy!?"
"Yes sweetie, you're sexy with the stolen belt of Hades offspring." Meanwhile Poseidon had been admiring a poster with Percy on it and tapping his chin.
"I really need to get me one of those, maybe put it up next to my throne……to block out Zeus's big head……yeah……" While Percy was posing heroically at the ticket desk for the ticket seller. Comparing himself to movie Percy.
"Do you see the similarity!? Huh, huh, do ya do ya!?" The ticket girl scooted her chair a little ways back behind the glass.
"Um……..this wasn't in the job description-"
"DO YOU SEE THE SAME STUFF BETWEEN THE TWO!?!?! DO YOU!?" The girl nodded scared. Percy turned to Annabeth, grinning.
"See? I told you I'm better than movie Percy."
"No your not. You scared the poor woman into lies. How low must you go Percy, how low? So far as to scar ticket booth salesmen for life? You're a terrible person…." She pulled him away from the booth, Clarisse taking her place, banging her fist against the glass.
"I can't stand it! Just give me the damn tickets before the movie starts!" She grabs the tickets that the woman shoved through to her. Clarisse grabbed Chris and stalked through the front doors. Chris attempted to apologize to the poor girl, but was drug off to quick to even glance in her direction. Athena, Poseidon, and Apollo took their lace. All nonchalant like the god of the sea rapped the glass with his knuckles and said, "Can a god get a poster over here? Seriously!"
"Poseidon, you are truly dumb." Athena mumbled shaking her head.
"YOUR FACE IS DUMB!" The goddess of wisdom rolled her eyes.
"Wow Poseidon, way to suck at that."
"That's what she said! HA!"
"YOU THEIF! I INVENTED 'THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID,'" Apollo yelled quite indignantly, "Your worst than Hermes!"
"Bring it, Pretty Boy!"
"Why thank you, Poseidon! That is so sweet of you to notice!"
"Damn you to the deepest pit of Tartarus! THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLIMENT!!!" Poseidon yelled.
"You ain't got nothing on me Fish Sticks!"
"Oh you DID NOT Bright Mouth!"
"Boys, boys," Athena interjected, "Lets just take these tickets and watch the movie please! No back talking me, I am the goddess of wisdom for my names sake, so get in the theater before the ground opens up and swallows us. Shall we?" Out of no where Hades put in his 2 cents,
"Um, not to be the buzz kill, but….isn't the whole ground swallowing thing my area of stuff?"
"Yes. Yes it is."
"Right, let's go." Athena took all the tickets, then held open the door as they all filed through. Ares was now laughing about "brotherly love".
"Are we all in? Good. It is about time! How have I lived with you people all these millennia?!" Athena grumbled. They ignored the comment and rushed to give their tickets to the ticket man, settle in their seat and wait the arrival of their story on screen. To pass the time Poseidon and Apollo played bubble wrap game on Apollo's ipod and Thalia tried to get Nico to comment on how sexy she looked in his black cargo pants, the ones Nico had been hiding from her for days now. Thankfully for Nico and the impatience of the gods, the movie started.
Movie Poseidon emerged on the screen, far too dramatically. Poseidon started complaining about how these incompetent mortals didn't capture anything of his godliness. At least until a picture of a trident tattoo was shown, and Poseidon glances down on his arm. "Funny. I don't remember that being there… hmmm… I wonder."
"Dad, no." Percy whispered. "Just think no. That would not be right. Just…..no" Poseidon pouted but didn't press it further, instead watched himself go from huge to normal human size, wearing his everyday street clothes. (Which were nothing like what he actually wore).
They managed to get through the first few scenes without too many issues.
Then came the scene that Percy first sees Annabeth. And all of the relative peace that had settled over the group was ruined.
"Since WHEN has my hair been brown?!" Annabeth was appalled.
"Oh, I don't know Annabeth; you are one HELL of a fighter. I approve-though why didn't you tell me you tell me you fought with a sword?!" Clarisse grinned up at her.
"I didn't tell you because I DON'T fight with a sword." She turned to Athena, "Mother, look what they've done to me! They've made me out to be some sort of dumb brute like Ares! My image is completely RUINED!!!" Athena shook her head, grimacing.
"I know sweetie, I know. I mean, they say 'Annabeth daughter of Athena goddess of wisdom' but you're not doing ANYTHING right there that requires wisdom!"
"Except looking really bad ass!" Thalia had to add. Ares had an epiphany.
"Wait aaaaa second! Y'all disin' me over there!?" Athena rolled her eyes.
"No Ares, why would we ever do something like that to you, oh great god of war?"
"I know right!?" He boasted. "I am the BOMB!!!"
"Yeah he thinks about Athena's obvious sarcasm and tick, tick, BOOM goes the brain of Ares." Nico said, laughing.
Apollo reminded them that they WERE still in a movie theatre full of poor (though seriously misguided) mortals. And catches Poseidon using his trident to steal the popcorn from the people sitting in front of him.
"Brother! What ARE you doing!?" Poseidon blinked, having the trident in mid air above someone's head.
"What? I already finished Percy's popcorn, I need more! The tasty saltiness……I just need MORE!" Hades rolled his eyes.
"And that's why you have a brother with a helm of darkness duh! Now, let's make these mortals sacrifice their popcorn to the GODS!!!"
Poseidon glanced at his trident. "You are absolutely BRILLIANT!!! I would bow down to your greatness, if I didn't rank higher than you!" He thrusts his trident to Percy. "Here, hold this son. Your father has some very important business to attend to with his dear brother!" He laughed maniacally. Percy was just thinking how lucky he was to have his father's symbol of power. Only to have it taken away again by Annabeth.
"No Percy, No. Watch me kick your ass in the movie." Quit peace again reigned over the group, only interrupted by two dark shadows racing around and "Hey!" following it meaning the two gods had stolen popcorn once again. Though peace never lasted long in a time of chaos. Movie Percy and movie Annabeth had just ran into the throne room and Annabeth had very tactfully said the loving words of, "Hi mom" and movie Athena replying "I'm so proud of you," with a hint of tears in her British voice. The real Athena exploded.
"Since when did I have a British accent!? And why am I crying!? I AM A GODDESS!!! I DO NOT CRY!!! AND WHY IN HADES NAME WAS I NOT ALLOWED TO SEE MY OWN DAUGHTER! SCREW YOU MOVIE ZEUS; I CURSE YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF HADES RELM!!!! AND-" Annabeth put a hand on her mothers shoulder.
"Mom. Mom, it's okay."
"It's okay. Just let it go." Athena crossed her arms.
"Fine. Curse Chris Columbus. Curse you to Hades."
A voice called through the shadows of the front of the room. "No thanks. I don't want 'im either-did you SEE what he made me WEAR?!?! I was a cross between my son and that damn daughter of Zeus'!" There was another cry of 'Hey!' and Hades sat down in the chair next to Athena, munching on his newly acquired bag of popcorn.
"I mean, come on. Do I LOOK like I'm the kind of person who would actually walk around in that?!" He stared towards the screen for a moment. "I, ah, kinda like that actress playin' my wife, though. Now THAT is what I call HOT."
"You realize that your 'wife' electrocutes you with MY bolt, then hits on a satyr, don't you?" Zeus pointed out.
Hades glared. "Yes, but that's movie wife. It's different."
Clarisse must have realized that by now she wasn't going to be in the movie, because she suddenly grabbed the poor man next to her, and beat the hell out of his face. For no reason.
"CLARISSE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Chris yelled as she wailed on some poor innocent dude.
"I! WASN'T! IN! THE! MOVIE!" She spoke a word in-between in punch. Area's jumped out of his seat and started clapping, while the movie's credits were rolling.
"It's my baby's first public beating! I'm so proud of you Claire!!! Go girl! You got this!" While Clarisse was beating the man and Ares was cheering her on Zeus was raving about how terrible they portrayed him. He actually had gone into jumbo god size and accidentally disintegrated a couple people and spilled Thalia's popcorn.
"Oh look, see what you did!?" Thalia grumbled as Zeus yelled at the screen where movie Zeus was saying it was alright for Poseidon to speak with his son but only for a short moment.
"Oh sure Zeus, just great! You disintegrate people and don't even stop to think about what that will do to me do you!? NO YOU DON'T! Now I'm going to have Charon complaining about the money he gets 'cause now he wants an iphone and that's just LOVELY and now I'm gonna have more should to listen to complain about how they were stepped on by the giant jerk god Zeus for all eternity! Great! You don't even think about these things do you, DO YOU ZEUS!?!?!?!" Hades went on, while no one was really even listening. Not even Athena, who being talked to her daughter that it was okay that they made movie Athena have a British accent, was listening to Hades. Things turned to chaos. And the moral of the story? They messed the Lighting Thief up BIG time.