A Very Improbable Christmas, by DoofusPrime

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. This work was not created for profit. No copyright infringement is intended.


Lights, Cookies, Action!

XX

Ron Stoppable was fighting for his life.

Perched on his scooter, Ron wobbled dangerously as he drove down an icy Middleton road towards his destination. Perhaps the only thing keeping him safe was that, at its top speed, the scooter lurched forward at about the same pace as a brisk walk on foot. It was late at night, and the scooter's headlight cast a weak beam ahead of him, but Ron could easily see where he was going thanks to a glowing blanket of fresh snow draped over the neighborhood that reflected the moon's light.

The route to Ron's destination was short. The scooter performed some particularly acrobatic slides across a few patches of ice, and slowed down as he pulled over to the side of the road in front of a house. Ron took off his helmet and grabbed a wrapped package from the scooter's basket, marked "to Kim". Celebrating Christmas with the Possible family was always fun, but tonight Ron felt particularly happy. Perhaps it was because he and Kim were in a close relationship and had just gotten through their first semester of college together. For his girlfriend, a semester of college was no big compared to fighting evil villains, but for Ron, getting through his first semester was no mean feat.

As he walked up the driveway to the front door, Ron felt a strange tension wrap around his body. Something seemed wrong. He took a few steps back and looked over the house, and suddenly realized what was strange about the sight. All the lights were off! Ron thought it was unusual for Kim's house to be so dark and quiet on Christmas Eve. He hoped he was not too late; his parents had held him up, wanting to spend time with him since he was home on break, and although he enjoyed being with them, he didn't want to miss Christmas with the Possible family. Ron was about to ring the doorbell and see if anyone was home when an even stranger feeling overtook his previous tension. Ron suddenly felt like he had forgotten something important.

He looked back and saw the scooter was turned off and safely parked, and felt the package nestled in the crook of his arm. A warm shape snoring in his pocket told him that he had not forgotten to take Rufus along. What else could it be? Ron stood and thought for a moment, shivering as the cold night air nipped at his exposed skin, when suddenly his stomach dropped like a stone.

Sunglasses!

XX

"Flip it!"

James Possible stood on the tips of his toes, clenching his hands together in anticipation, goggles wrapped securely around his face. He almost imperceptibly jumped up and down in front of his living room window. Had a stranger seen him from outside, they might have mistaken him for a very giddy child waiting for an ice cream truck.

"Okay, here goes!" the twin Possible children yelled from the garage.

James listened in awe as a sizzling electrical sound ripped through the house like an invisible wave. The snowy carpet over the front lawn erupted with blinding light, as if the sun had suddenly dropped down to a few feet above their house. He knew his Christmas lighting was probably violating numerous neighborhood codes, but some rules were meant to be broken. Suddenly James heard a horrible piercing sound outside the window.

"Dad!" his daughter Kim Possible cried. "Did I just hear a girl screaming?"

James frowned. "I don't know Kimmie-cub, it sounded like it came from outside the front door. Maybe it was a Pixie Scout."

"A Pixie Scout, on Christmas?" Kim, who had been standing next to her mother and father in the living room to watch the momentous lighting event, went over to the front door and opened it. Even with goggles on, she shielded her eyes in anticipation of a burst of light.

"Ron!"

Kim jumped forward at the writhing figure on her doorstep and wrapped him in a warm hug. She quickly realized that Ron must have been blinded by the Christmas display, and led him by the hand through the front door.

"Why, KP? Every year, why?" Ron stood in the entryway and rubbed his eyes.

Kim's mother, Anne Possible, came in from the living room to greet Ron. "Hello Ron. Glad to have you over for Christmas. I hope you didn't get caught in the crossfire out there."

"Yeah, I did Mrs. Dr. P. My eyes are busted now so you're going to have to lead me to the couch."

"Oh, now come on Ron. I'm sure it can't be that bad." Anne took Ron into the kitchen and shuffled through a drawer for a pen light, which she flashed into Ron's eyes. He squinted and tried to look away. "See, you're fine."

"Well, I was blind. But I got better."

Kim rolled her eyes. "We wanted to wait for you to turn the lights on, but you took so long to get here."

"Sorry about that. The folks wanted me to stay a while after dinner and help clean things up, and then I had to shovel the driveway to get my scooter out."

"What's in the package?" Kim motioned to the object that Ron had just placed on the kitchen table.

"Oh, that's a special Christmas surprise. You guys haven't opened your presents yet, right?"

"No, we'll open them tomorrow morning. A present for me!" Kim almost hugged Ron again in excitement, but suddenly looked puzzled. "Wait... you wrapped my present with newspaper and string?"

Ron looked sheepish, and was about to reply when James walked into the kitchen and took his goggles off. "Hello Ron. We weren't used to eating Christmas dinner without you."

"I guess the folks wanted to spend a little more time with me than usual. I don't know why, they don't even celebrate Christmas."

James smiled. "Well, you're in college now. I'm sure they miss having you around more, since you're out of the house and off running around campus with my little Kimmie." He somehow managed to throw a face that looked to Ron like a smile and a glare wrapped up in one expression.

"So, uh, where is Nana Possible?" asked Ron, trying to change the direction of his girlfriend's father's thoughts.

"Oh, she wasn't able to come this year."

Kim nodded. "I think it's because she didn't want to give up the Florida weather for Middleton."

"She's a sharp lady," observed Ron.

"We do have some leftovers in the fridge if you're still hungry."

"Nah, it's cool. I'm thinking I just want to lay on the couch and watch some television. Maybe I can find some Snowman Hank reruns."

Ron walked into the living room, flipped on the television, and sank into the couch like he was a part of the fabric. Kim came in and sat down beside him with a contented smile. She knew Ron's parents would want him around for Christmas, and she had been a little nervous when he was late to their house. Christmas was her favorite time of year and she was glad to have him around, newspaper-wrapped presents and all.

XX

A relentless sheet of snow whipped against the sides of a hulking mass of architecture that loomed from the peak of a cliff. The building was hunched down, shivering against the mass of shifting snow and night air that pressed against it. Its bulk took up most of the cliff's peak, but if one looked closely, one could see a small snow-covered patch of space that led to the building's entrance. A small wooden sign was placed in front of the entrance. Right now it was covered by frost and nearly invisible due to the weather, but under normal circumstances one could read a warning: "Keep out!" Underneath the warning, scrawled in barely legible handwriting, was another message: "Except for Santa."

A heavily barred window cast out a bright glow from the inside of the alpine lair. The window was situated in one corner of a massive domed room that was roughly triangular in shape. One corner of the room, from which the window was casting its light, was furnished to look like a living room complete with a couch and television. A woman dressed in green and black peered out the window into the impenetrable blizzard, and then turned back into the room.

"What are you working on, Doctor D?"

Drakken did not respond. He was hunched over a large metal table in the center of his laboratory, which sprawled across another corner of his lair's massive main room. The table was covered with a seemingly random assortment of tools, nondescript chunks of metal, and pages of disorganized schematics that would be indecipherable to anyone besides Drakken. His back was turned to her, so Shego could not see what he was working on. His body was haloed by the blue glow of a welding torch that he was using on a large shape, which she could not quite make out.

"Doctor Draaaakken..." Shego whispered. She sidled up close behind him and peered over his shoulder. Her curious expression quickly shifted to exasperation when she saw a humanoid figure lying on the table. "Oh no, not again. Haven't we given up on that whole Bebe robot thing yet?"

"It's not a Bebe, Shego."

"What is it then? A synthodrone?"

Drakken smiled sneakily. "You'll just have to see, won't you!"

Shego inspected the figure more closely. It lay stiffly on its back, and seemed to be wearing some kind of uniform. She could not tell whether it was made from metal or something other material. Drakken was not finished with it, and various small parts lay scattered around the figure. Shego could not even guess at what it was.

"Why are you working, anyways? Didn't you say you were going on break?"

"I'm just finishing up a few odds and ends, Shego. I'll be done in a moment, and then it will be time for Christmas cheer!"

"Great, Christmas cheer. Just what I've been waiting for all year. I'll be over here on the couch, where you can cheerfully not bother me."

Shego walked back over to the living room area of Drakken's lair. She sometimes wondered if Drakken organized the lair this way simply so he could nag her more easily while she tried to watch television or read a magazine. The living room section consisted of a comfortable but slightly threadbare brown sofa, a pair of reclining chairs, a coffee table scattered with fashion magazines and a few issues of Villains Weekly, a big-screen plasma television, and an awkward Christmas tree placed in the corner, sheltering a small assortment of presents. Shego turned on the television, flipping to a news channel and idly staring at her fingernails. The black coat was chipping, but the fingernail polish was in her bedroom. Which was far too great a distance now that she was lying down already. Ah well.

After watching the news disinterestedly for a while, Shego glanced behind the couch at the laboratory. Drakken was coming up the lair's basement stairway, which snaked its way down from the laboratory area. The humanoid figure on the metal work table was gone, so she assumed he must have taken it down for storage. Drakken strolled towards her with a ridiculously large smile on his face. One part of her scoffed at Drakken's behavior when he was excited, but a deeper part, a part which existed even if she did not like to admit it, found his moods endearing.

"Shego! Aren't you taking time off for the holidays?"

Shego shrugged. "I might as well hang out here. Make sure you don't blow yourself up or anything." She had thought about taking a couple of weeks of vacation, but realized that the only real alternative for the holidays would be visiting her brothers at their tower in Go city, which did not appeal to her in the least. The thought of Hego wearing felt deer antlers made her shudder involuntarily.

"Well, that's excellent news! Perhaps you'd like me to make some cocoa moo, and when I come back from the kitchen we can see what is on television?"

"I assume that by 'see what's on TV' you mean look for Snowman Hank reruns, right?"

"Of course."

"Whatever," said Shego, turning back to the television.

Drakken whistled to himself as he skipped off towards the kitchen. He was glad that Shego was staying for her holiday break, because after the incident at the United Nations conference, their relationship had remained at a somewhat awkward professional level. Drakken felt like it was high time to step up his game. Since he was plannng to invite Kim Possible and her sidekick over, he had even more surprises up his sleeve. The holidays were looking up!