*Warning! This story contains language, and a few suggestive themes unsuitable for children under the age of 13*

Um. A random story that me and my bestie, TheSunriseSets, hammered out due to our rapidly growing annoyance with Spyro's many Mary-Sue pair-ups. Poor, poor Cynder. Enjoy and please review!

EDIT: To elminate anymore confusion, we are in fact not flaming OCs, but rather Mary-Sues. OCs are interesting, thoughtful characters that actually play a part in a story, as opposed to the Mary-Sue, which is an annoying, flat, robotic, and cliche character that drives us up the wall. OCs are fine -- Mary-Sues are not.


Spyro sat beside Cynder.

He turned to her and, with a heavy sigh, asked, "You know what really annoys me? Like to no end, whatsoever?"

Cynder glanced at him curiously, her eyes bright with challenge. "The fact that you're a dude and you're purple?"

Spyro frowned and smacked her with the end of his tail. "No, that's not it." Cynder rolled her eyes. "The fact that in all these fanfics, I keep getting paired with endless amounts of random Mary-Sues!"

"What . . .," she started to say, her voice trailing. She was silent for a few moments, her brow furrowed in thought. Finally, she said, "Spyro, in all honesty, I have absolutely no idea what the hell you are talking about."

Embarrassed, Spyro looked away from his dragoness, mulling through how to explain his situation. In all truthfulness, he was being made into somewhat of a commitment challenged man-whore who fell in love at first sight repeatedly. "I seem to have an issue with my, er, with my . . .," faltering he shook his head, "with my emotions."

Cynder's head cocked slightly, her tail twitching back and forth as she regarded Spyro's. . . declaration. "So . . . you're saying you're"—she looked at him slyly—"going through your time of the year?" She laughed. "I knew something was off about you."

His face blushed beneath his scales. "No, Cynder, it's not rutting season," he remarked sarcastically. "I just seem to have a problem keeping my affairs in a line."

Whatever bout of amusement had previously lingered in the confines of Cynder's mind vanished instantly. She stood up abruptly. "What are you saying, Spyro?" she demanded. "That you're cheating on me? Answer wisely."

Spyro leapt to his feet. "No! Well . . . yes." Cynder snarled angrily. "But," he pleaded, "It's not because I want to!"

She took a step away from him. "Not because you want to?! What, are you being forced by the endless amount of 'dragon whores?" She laughed bitterly at the thought. "You honestly expect me to believe that? You—"

"Yes! Yes, Cynder, that is exactly what is happening! You don't know these people!" He shivered at the memories. "You don't know the things they have made me do!"

"You little purple son of a lying ass wipe." Spyro's eyes widened at the insult. "You sniveling, whiney bastard!" Cynder went mad, her eyes flaring with rage, her voice pitched to the point of hysteria. It was almost loud enough to provoke her fear element. "What is it with males and having to seduce everything that comes into their line of sight! And you expect me believe . . .!" She didn't finish that; something occurred to her. "Just because you are the damned purple dragon of prophecy, the savior of the freaking world, does not give you the right to go running around on me!"

"No! Cynder, you don't understand. I'll be all happy with you—in love with you! And then these dragoness'—these things—randomly appear and they're all the same. They all have some sob story past of abuse or lost love or something bad. They all run to me, claiming they're in love with me and I can't help myself! I have to love them back! I need HELP!" he exclaimed desperately.

Unwise. Very unwise, Spyro . . .

"So you're saying, after everything we've been through, you only love me because of my past?! The fact that I've been enslaved by the Dark Master, tortured, beaten, forced into an adult body and into a mind I couldn't control! That you feel bad for me?! And that you feel this away about others too?!" she screeched.

He stared blankly at the fuming dragoness before him. "Wait, what? No! How could you think that, Cynder? I love you for so many other reasons! It's just these Mary-Sues that keep getting under my skin!"

"And into your bed, apparently!" she scoffed.

Spyro was aghast. "Cynder! How could you!? That is so inappropriate!"

"You're not denying it either, ass."

He glanced away, shamefaced. "I won't lie to you, my love. I have violated our commitment to each other."

Silence. Cynder's eyes glared resentfully into his. And then she slapped him.

His face jerked to the side, his cheek throbbed and an angry red streak of blood trailed down his face. He turned back to her slowly, his expression frozen in shock. "I can't belive you just made me bleed over something so stupid! Are you really going to let this ruin our relationship? I mean, really?!" Spyro demanded angrily.

"Ruin our—" She seemed actually taken aback by Spyro's words. "Damn it, Spyro! You're having sex with everything that moves and you say we have a relationship! What the hell goes on in your mind? What would even make you believe . . .?" She slapped him again. "And you expect me . . .!" And again. "I'm going to fucking rip your balls of and tie them to the stone pillar above the Mountain of Malefor!"

"Stop slapping me, God damn it!" He rubbed his face pitifully. "It stings! Look, I can't help that I have an overactive libido, okay? Some men just need more than what one woman can offer!"

She glared at him in hate. "Are you saying I don't satisfy you! How much do you males need?"

Spyro sighed. "Cynder, regardless of anything this conversation has made you assume about me; I just want you to know that all those other females were just that: other females. But you, you are the only female I have ever had sex with and really felt a connection! All those others were just friends with benefits. I loved you all along!"

"Yeah, well, I hate you, asshole!" she snapped. "And you still didn't answer my question: Do I or do I not satisfy you?"

His mouth opened and closed wordlessly for a moment, then he seemed to have found the right words. Or at least thought he had, because he smiled complacently and confidently stated, "You sometimes do."

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Before Spyro knew what was happening he was suddenly incarcerated in the dark, suffocating veil of Cynder's shadow fire. Black, finger-like tendrils wrapped around his body, paralyzing him before he was suddenly and unmercifully slammed into the ground. The sharp snap of breaking bones reverberated throughout his body, immobilizing him in pain as the angry black mist slowly dissipated.

Cynder waited a few moments, reveling in her devious lover's agony before smashing a red healing crystal over his head. Spyro's bones cracked back into place with sickening sound effects. The newly healed dragon leapt angrily to his feet.

"Why did you do that! That fucking hurt!"

But Cynder was past being angry. Her expression relaxed until it was almost nondescript. She looked away, and then very quietly said, "Spyro, that was nothing compared what you've done to me . . . what you've done to my heart." She then looked back at him with tear studded, tortured eyes. "How could you?"

Spyro stared into the broken eyes of the dragoness he loved, looked into the pain and suffering his words and actions had caused. Cynder probably could have gone the rest of her life blissfully unaware of his extracurricular actions, but no, in his stupidity, he had chosen the righteous path of honesty. And damn it next time he was gonna lie!

"Cynder," Spyro said softly, reaching for her paw. Cynder jerked away, closing her eyes against the tears that threatened to spill. "Please don't hate me."

"I trusted you, ass. And trust is something I do not give easily. You ruined that. Spyro . . . we're done."

"Oh noooez!" He fell to her feet, begging, "Please, don't leave me! I am nothing without you! Please! I can't help it! And I know these people won't stop tempting me! I know there will be another Mary-Sue this week just as there was the last, and I know I won't be able to resist. But please, baby, you have to understand, I can't help myself! It's in my character content to be naturally helpful and feel overly powerful pity towards those who have bad pasts! Don't leave me!" he sobbed.

She smiled, an expression that seemed oddly dark for a gesture usually used to exhibit her softer side. "Don't worry, it's not like you'll be alone." She pulled out of his grasp. "After all, Mary-Sues with pasts like mine never seem to truly make a lasting impression." And before Spyro could respond further, Cynder unfurled her wings, and with a blast of tumultuous wind, disappeared into the nightime sky.

Spyro remained sprawled out in the grass, paralyzed by the reality that Cynder had really left him. And this time it was because of his honesty! What the fuck!? The poor guy just couldn't win.

"Hi," a sugar coated voice chirped from behind him. Spyro raised his head heavily and turned to see a green and blue dragoness standing behind him; tears streaked from her cerulean eyes. "I love you."

Spyro buried his head in his arms, biting back the words that were trying to force their way out. However, due to the fact that Spyro is in fact a character that is unable to resist the manipulations forced upon him by the author, he said through clenched teeth, "I . . . love . . . you . . . too."

And so, his turmoil continued.