*ducks & hides*

We know this isn't a real update and that you're all probably tossing rotten tomatoes at your screens now because of that. Don't. Really. The nasty tomato juice will drip into your computers and short them out and then you won't be able to read our update when it reaaaaaaaaaally happens. Which should be soon. ish.

But...we have good reason for the lame-ass fake out - Fandom Gives Back! You can't be mad at us now, can you? Not when we're trying to raise money to help fight cancer...right? So, here's the 411 - we're h00ring ourselves out for this incredibly wonderful cause and you can be a part of it. We're offering you, are insanely delicious and absolutely wonderful readers, the chance to influence this story without a plot. We have no clue what's going to happen, so at least somebody should. And that somebody could be YOU!

For only $25 you can buy our souls and tell us what you want to see in this fic. Do you want Edward and Bella to finally be in the same room for more than 5 minutes? BUY US!

Do you want Bella and Edward to engage in a game of naughty Twister? BUY US!

Perhaps you want to see what happens in a special workshop run by Esme & Carlisle... BUY US and we'll show you - you crazy, dirty bird!

Maybe Emmett decides to buy a potbellied pig and it gets into a heated territory match with Linux...you ask...we'll write, just... BUY US!

You say you want us to introduce Jasper as an undercover CIA agent who spends his days running an ice cream truck? BUY US!

We know you've always envisioned having the entire gang meet up at the bar for a night of karaoke fun - BUY US and we'll make your dream true!

For more info and to bid head on over to:


There's only a couple days left, folks!

and now...for sitting through this PSA, we'll give you a small taste of our next update. An amuse bouche, if you will, for all you Top Chef fans out there!

O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O x O_O

3dW4rD: Wait, before... you said that your friends thought I was Jake? Is he your fiance? Since, that would make sense. Except for the throwing him out part. That doesn't really make sense.

brssmnkyjnkie: Oh, shit. ick! no! Jake is NOT my fiance. He's...he's my ex-boyfriend.

3dW4rD: So you're um, you know, not with him?

3dW4rD: I mean, you're, um, not with someone else?

3dW4rD: I would understand if you were! I mean, you're... you.

brssmnkyjnkie: You need to stop with the compliments, Edward. You're going to make my not so shameless ego swell even bigger than it is. ha! but no...I am definitely not with Jake. And...I'm actually not with anybody. Totally single.

brssmnkyjnkie: What about you?

3dW4rD: I'm surprised Webster hasn't called to ask for my photo to put next to the word "single" in the dictionary as an example.

3dW4rD: Wow, that sounded pretty fucking pathetic.

3dW4rD: Shit, should I not swear? Does that bother you?

3dW4rD: What I meant to say was yes. Yes I'm uh, single.