Title: Pimpin

Rating: T for language

Author: darkalbino

For: Skully. Ghetto-fabulous kickasstastic artist extraordinaire (who also shares my exhibitionist kink, awriiight |D)

Warnings: CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK

Disclaimer: do not ooowwwwwn

I HAD TO DO IT. I'M SORRY. AVERT YOUR EYES NOW.


Pimpin

Naruto pushed open the door to his dorm-room and swaggered inside. He jerked his pants up and raised his arm and three fingers, the first two and his thumb, over his roommate. "Yo, Saucefag! Let's go pick up some bitches!"

Sasuke turned his head and curled his lip at Naruto. There was a huge gold chain dangling from his neck with his family's crest hanging off the end, and a giant pair of shades on his face. What? Fuck yeah Sasuke can wear his shades inside if he wants to, no one else COULD pull that shit off but him and not look like a complete fuckin douchebag. "Naw man," Sasuke drawled, smacking his hand on a paper on top of his desk. "I gotsta finish dis ESSAY."

"ESSAY!" Naruto hollered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his orange hoody that was way too big on him and covered in black swirls. "Faggot, watchu mean a fuggin ESSAY?"

"Tch," Sasuke waved his paper in the air. "Yeah foo'! This muthafuckin ESSAY!"

"Pft!" Naruto snatched the paper away and crumpled it up, tossing it over his shoulder and completely, utterly missing the wastebasket. "Shit mayng you dun need dat shit, that ain't gonna get you no pussy!"

"Psh," Sasuke crossed his arms and leaned back his chair, his boxers peeking out over the top of his jeans. "I got enough pussy last night when I was givin' it to yo momma. And don't be callin me no faggot, faggot, when you're the one with the gay-ass swirlies on yo jacket."

"Don't be talkin bout' my momma you pasty-ass bastard! And shut the fuck up, this jacket is tight AND phat! At the same muthafuckin' time!" …Ew.

"Whatevs," Sasuke said, pushing his tongue against the ring on his lip and tilting his head back so the shades fell back into place.

Naruto snorted and thoughtlessly scratched his balls. "Take dem' damn things off man, we're inside! And it's fuckin night time!"

"Don't tell me what to do, Uzumaki."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll fuckin cut you."

"Uh huh," Naruto rolled his eyes. "So we pickin up some ho's or what?"

Sasuke looked in his general direction and smirked before standing up, his pants falling halfway down his boxer-clad ass. "Fo sho, let's hit dat shit."

Naruto grinned at his best friend and smacked his back before offering up a fist with tears in his eyes and huge, goofy smile. "I LOVE YOU DAWG!"

Sasuke chuckled and returned the fist-pound. "Me too, holmes, me too."


......IDK, OKAY? IDFK.

Edit: Right.. it's 5pm and I'm sober now XD Annnnd people takin this seriously? Yeah, chill out. This thing isn't in any way meant to be taken seriously, it's a goddamn joke, pft, for the LULZ.