Title: Pleasure in Memories
Pen name: Jhrbrown
Characters: James, Emmett, Esme and others
Go see more FML Contest entries: http://www . fanfiction . net/community/FML_Contest_Fics/77195/99/0/1/ (Remove spaces for link to work)
I would LOVE to thank Project Team Beta and their fuckawesome betas, jmeyer and sweetishbubble, who helped me with this story. God (look, jmeyer, it's capitalized!) without them, this story would have far too many commas and not enough capitalized body Gods. Thank you guys sooo much. You each own a little piece of my heart now!
Also I want to thank IAmToWait for her assistance in piecing this together at the last minute. You are so fucking awesome!! Thank you.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own anything Twilight or claim to have come up with FML, but I do however, take credit for how much fuckery will happen when the two are combined.
A tightening surged through my body, crippling me as I sat on the edge of the queen sized bed, the sheets feeling like fine powder beneath my death grip. Slinging my head back, I allowed myself a glance downward to whatever was making me feel this way.
A large head, attached to a perfectly toned God with beautiful dark brown curls atop it, was peppering soft kisses on my inner thighs. My erection, noticing it was being left out, seemed to lean toward the heavenly giver, awaiting its turn for any contact.
I bucked my hips frenziedly, eager to have the perfect, pink, wet lips take in my entire length. Almost as if my mind had been read, I felt the hot, moistness of the very willing mouth surround my cock, and it began sucking fervently, as if its life depended on it.
My fingers wound themselves in the curly locks and began to create their own rhythm of ecstasy. The tightening in my stomach became overpowering, as my once clear vision clouded, and I could feel a pull from deep within my body as my cock strained against the pulsing sensation.
"Holy fuck, Em… you, ungh… Christ," I babbled incoherently, ready to unload in his precious mouth.
Suddenly, I heard a knocking sound at my door which, in turn, made him look up from his all too perfect position and smiled.
"No… don't stop," I said as I pushed his head down to my almost bursting dick. "Just let me finish… they… oh, fuck, they can fucking wait," I mumbled as his mouth enveloped me once again.
I bucked my hips harder and faster as he bobbed his head in sync with me, giving me the satisfaction of blowing my load into the back of his throat.
"Shit, Emmett," I moaned as I reached for his face, only to discover it was nowhere in sight.
I sat upright, the knocking still occurring at my door, and discovered that it had all been a dream.
Emmett had not really been in here, giving me the best fellatio I had received in nearly two weeks. I did, however, come to realize that in my urgency to cum before answering the door in the dream, I had only created a mess that I would have to clean up – immediately.
The knocking became more incessant, only this time to be accompanied by a voice.
"James! James, wake your ass up, man," my lovely, older sister screamed through the measly door that separated us.
"I'm awake… Jesus… relax, Esme. Okay?" I exhaled a deep, necessary breath as I removed myself from the wet sheet.
I would wait until later to wash the soiled bedding, just so I didn't have to silently admit to my overbearing sister what had happened.
Esme, who was nearly six years older than me, was currently staying with me while her roommate, Bella, was out of town. Something about staying in their plush, oversized apartment alone scared her. That was something I could barely fathom, considering they lived in one of the most expensive, most secure apartment buildings in the Seattle area.
She wasn't "permanently" attached to anyone - considered by most in the dating world to be a minor league serial dater – and refused to find herself in such a state. Freedom was the only word from the Merriam-Webster dictionary that she fully understood and took full advantage of.
I put my foot on the lever of the laundry hamper and tossed the sheets in once it opened. I quickly moved to my dresser and pulled out a pair of well worn boxers before I cracked open the bedroom door.
The coast being unusually clear, I darted across the hall to the bathroom. The air was musky, and the cabinet mirror was slightly fogged on the outer edges, revealing that Esme had already taken her hour long bath – meaning I would be left without an ounce of hot water.
The thought of a cold shower was as unappealing as curdled milk with my favorite cereal, but part of me felt it was a necessary must to get my mind off of my earlier thoughts.
After I removed my shorts, I stepped into the shower and was astonished when I discovered that Esme had been kind enough to leave me some hot water.
As the showerhead allowed the precious drops of water to cascade down my body, my thoughts quickly turned to Emmett, my dream, and my inability to stop missing him.
We stood in the foyer of his parents' home, after a beautiful, long session of making love. The two of us had been invited to housesit while they were away on an anniversary cruise.
Neither of us had refused.
I wrapped my arms around his body, physically pleading with him to reconsider.
"I just can't do this anymore, James," he twisted himself out of my grasp.
"What do you mean? This" – I motioned between the two of us– "This is perfect. How can you just not do it anymore?"
I took a step closer to him, reaching out to grab his hand, only to graze it as he yanked it away as if I had leprosy.
"You… you really mean it, don't you?" I mused.
"Yes. I mean it more than I've meant anything lately."
He turned to walk back into the living room, leaving me standing in the proverbial cold. "You should get your stuff… I've got to be somewhere in an hour."
One eyebrow shot up quickly. This was most definitely not over.
"I'll call you a cab. I'd prefer it if you didn't catch a ride with me back into town," he shot over his shoulder as he removed his cell phone from his back pocket.
"No," I spat out, standing my ground.
He pivoted on his heel, turning to meet my eyes, and thinned his lips. He was not playing, but neither was I.
I was going nowhere until we talked this through.
"I'm not leaving. I won't do it," I whispered.
"You will, or I'll –"
"Or you'll what? Call the cops? I doubt it. I'm not going to walk out of here and force myself to pretend that all of this, that you… I'm not going to act as if none of it ever existed. I can't do that, nor will I make myself do it."
"James, you don't want to do this," he warned, sliding his phone into his pocket for safe keeping.
"And why the HELL not?"
"No, Emmett, it's not fucking okay. It's not anything remotely close to okay. I want to know why, and I'd prefer to know it before I leave."
I took an innumerable amount of steps forward and waited for anything that would resemble an answer.
His lips formed a thin line once more as his brows knitted themselves together., "Fine."
I waited impatiently as he made up some type of excuse to be the ruin of us.
"I… I don't love you anymore, James. I haven't for a while. I was only pretending to because I was attempting to prolong the inevitable." He looked up at me, and I saw everything and nothing at the same time.
More important than anything, though, was what I saw most clearly.
He was telling me nothing but the truth, and the moment I realized that, I shattered, fleeing his parents' home, running into the surrounding woods.
The droplets of water began to run cold, waking me from the horrible memory. Turning the knobs to stop the flow of water, I stepped out from behind the shower door.
Since the water had grown colder, most of the fog had dissipated from the room, allowing me the chance to view my worn out reflection in the mirror. It was not a pretty sight, to even my normally egotistical self.
"James?" Esme probed.
I heard her open my bedroom door, "I'm in the shower Ez."
"Umm… would you like something to eat? I made the deli lunch bagels. You know, the ones you hate to love?"
I loved her goddamned bagel sandwiches more than I had ever loved any type of food, but I always walked away from the table miserable and overstuffed – which made me hate them. It was a terrible food relationship between us, but it was one I refused to give up. "Shit, Esme, are you trying to get me to go back to bed?" That's what would normally happen after I ate them, in an attempt to abate the misery.
"Not really, no. I just know that tonight you and I both will need the extra food in our stomachs so we don't die… from alcohol at least," she giggled.
"Fine then, you've convinced me."
I got dressed in record time and hurried down the stairs.
Once I sat down at the marble bar that separated the kitchen from the dining area, I noticed Esme was nowhere in sight.
"Umm… Ez, you do know I'm starving right?" I yelled, craning my head toward the staircase.
Seconds later an auburn head popped itself out of the pantry. "No, really?" she said sarcastically. "I was just looking to see what types of alcohol you had to offer. Allie said it's a BYOA party, and I didn't want to have to stop at the store on the way."
"Well, if that's what you're looking for, then you are out of luck. I haven't actually purchased liquor in almost two years," I said, my mind beginning to wander aimlessly.
"And why not?" She threw her hand to her hip, giving me her signature "You-better-answer-me-and-not-with-any-bullshit-excuse" look.
"Well… Emmett had better taste in the alcohol area of life, so I just let him buy it and bring it here if he wanted."
"Oh God, James. Are you honestly telling me that you let him buy the liquor? I mean come on,you are a grown ass man, right, or do I have you confused with my other brother?"
"No… I am, it's just… look, can we not talk about this right now?" I said, throwing my head into my hands.
The timing was just not right, and I didn't want to have to keep talking about someone who obviously didn't love me anymore.
I had to move on… I just had to.
Tonight… tonight you will stop worrying about anything that involves Emmett. You can do this! No, you will do this!
At least my conscience was on my side throughout everything.
"Okay, weirdo, here's your bagel a la Esme," she stated as she slid the plate in my direction.
If I were a painter, I would paint nothing but her bagels. They were masterpieces and deserved to be known all across the world.
NO! Don't you dare.
Well, a lot of people I knew loved them.
Sandwiched between a wheat bagel, Esme would pile on black forest ham, roasted ham, and smoked turkey. Then slather on cream cheese and add a few slices of pickles to the top. Sometimes, since I was a big pickle person, she'd lay a few on the side just because.
After stuffing myself with nearly three of the little bagel demons, she informed me that we had to stop by the liquor store on the way to Alice's house.
Alice was an old friend of my sister's, and between her, Bella and Esme, I had a decent support group when I came out of the closet.
It wasn't like any of them had a choice to be nice to me anyways. Bella's mother, Renee, married mine and Esme's father, Phil, leaving me and Esme with two new siblings: Bella and Jasper. To make things even more confusing, our mother, Tanya, married Bella's father, Charlie.
Our group of friends pretty much stayed within the circle. None of us ever drifted out in hopes to find something better, because we were all happy.
Esme talks to Carlisle, Alice's brother, and Bella is dating Edward, Emmett's brother. Then Alice is dating Jasper, Bella's brother, who is friends with Rosalie, who is dating Victoria, Emmett and Edward's sister.
Yep. Confusing as hell.
Now, however, the circle was broken, and I was the one who toted the blame. No one actually came out and said, "Hey James, thanks for fucking it up," but inside I felt that each of them judged me separately.
The ride to the liquor store was tense and unusually quiet on my part.
Esme chatted on her iPhone the entire time, talking to anyone and everyone who would listen.
Putting the car in park, she turned to me, "What would you like for me to get?"
"I don't really care," I answered as I dug in my pocket for some money.
"No. Don't do that; I got it. Besides, if you send me in there with your money, I'll spend all of it plus mine."
I sank back into my seat as she slid her petite frame out of the car.
Esme was beautiful; I had to give her that much. I just couldn't understand how she didn't want to carry on normal a relationship with anyone, but I guess after watching the demise of every relationship around you, who would?
Emmett and I were known by everyone to have the 'Model Relationship'.
"Haha… you guys are so cute," Bella slurred, her drink spilling as she tried to stablize herself.
The "circle" had gathered in the local tavern, Eclipsing Moon, for a round of drinks. It was something that we did on a regular occasion ever since we were all legal to consume anything other than stolen beer.
Not only was it done regularly, but that night, it had been a call for celebration: I had been out for six months, and it was mine and Emmett's four month anniversary.
Actually, to my friends, anything was a reason to celebrate, but they felt this to be more important than most.
They said it was to remember the night I became true to myself and found my true love soon thereafter.
"Thanks you guys," Emmett gushed, squeezing my hand slightly. "It means a lot to the both of us that you remembered."
Edward walked over to the table, offering everyone another round. "So… how long's it been now?"
"Eddie… don't be stupid. It's been like… umm… what? A whole four months for the 'perfect couple' over here?" Alice sang, proving she was well over her limit.
"Well," Rosalie said as she came up for air from playing tonsil hockey with Victoria. "I think that if they keep acting as they do now, we'll have to dub them the 'Models' of this little group o' relationships."
Esme banging on the window pulled me from my daydream.
"God bless America, James, what in the hell were you doing? I stood here for a good sixty seconds before you noticed me," she screamed, throwing the brown paper bags into the backseat.
"I was just thinking. Sorry."
She pulled her iPhone out of her back pocket and immediately called Alice.
I zoned her out after I heard something about Rosalie eating Victoria out on Al's couch.
That was bit much for my taste.
Before long, we were pulling into Alice's drive. Her house was much like her – outlandish. It was an older nineteenth century style home painted a muted lilac with deep purple shutters.
It was a home that was given to Al by her more than-wealthy-grandparents before they passed, and afterward, she remodeled the house with the millions they left her.
She was truly one lucky bitch.
"Seriously James, if you keep this shit up, I'm going to make you leave," Esme yelled as she slapped my arm.
"Don't "what" me, I know what you are doing, and I swear to you, it better stop."
She opened her door and I followed suit. I scanned the cars that were already parked and empty and quickly found his.
Tonight would really be hell.
Pulling the brown paper bags out of the trunk, I heard the shrill bell-like voice that could grate even God's nerves.
"It's about time you guys decided to show up," Alice's voice screeched.
I turned and watched the two as they hugged and air kissed and all that other crap friends do, then let Alice hug me before walking toward the house.
"What's his dealio?" She was apparently trying to whisper but failed at her meager attempts.
"Nothing." Esme tried to spare the details she thought she knew. "I think I woke him up before he was ready this morning."
I held the door open for the girls to pass then followed them into the kitchen where I was instructed to lay the bags down.
The music was vibrating my entire body. Everyone swayed together rhythmically as the strobe light appeared to make them move in slow motion. I stood, staring at everyone, and tried to figure out who the unfamiliar faces belonged to while I emptied the paper bags of their content.
As I poured myself a mix of Jack and Coke, I heard a cacophony of laughter and quickly spotted the most familiar one I knew.
She passed through the tight-knit bodies into the kitchen. The clacking of her heels against the tile was like her own personal intro song. She was dressed up – which was a rarity for her – in a blue sequined tank top with slim, curve-hugging jeans. Her knee high black boots tied the entire outfit together perfectly.
The light danced on the sequins and covered her body in a beautiful blue shimmer. Her hair was down, each curl bouncing in sync with her steps. She looked gorgeous, and if I weren't gay or her step-brother, I would have felt the urge to pounce on and eat her.
"Not even going to make your favorite girl a drink, huh?" She swatted me on the ass playfully.
"When did you get back?" I asked, wondering if Esme knew of her early arrival.
"Uh, umm… this morning. Edward picked me up at the airport. I thought I'd surprise you guys. Besides, I know you just can't get enough bonding time with Esme." She laughed and opened the fridge.
"Oh… umm, yeah," I stammered, shaking the news around in my head. "Uh, what do you want?"
"I don't care, really. Surprise me," she said as her heels began the click-clack journey to her previous location.
I poured her a glass of Alice's "special punch" and made my way into the living room – which had been converted into a fairly decent-sized dance floor.
Rosalie and Victoria were tucked away in a corner, making out and creating a big scene for some of the single guys who had showed up. Esme and Carlisle were dancing so intimately together, I had to turn my head because it felt wrong to look.
Bella was sitting on the sofa with Alice and Jasper. As I neared her, I heard a deep familiar voice that made my heart stop. I handed Bells her Dixie cup and let myself glance around the room for the source of the voice.
There he stood, back to the sliding glass door, talking to Edward. He was in a tight white t-shirt and a pair of form fitting jeans that hung low enough for the top of his boxers to show. They turned, and I took in his bubble shaped ass, perfectly defined arms and the baby fine hairs on the back of his neck.
I used to have the ability to make them stand straight up with just one touch.
I felt my dick twitch at the thought and immediately felt the urge to run away. I began to head back into the kitchen so I could form a logical escape plan, but before I could make it, I felt a light tap on my shoulder.
I turned, my breath was stolen from me immediately, as I noticed who had done the tapping.
"Hey, James. How've ya been?" His voice was still as deep and sultry as I remembered.
I just looked him over, words far from my mind.
Talk, you fucking ignoramous.
"I… uh… I'm… I'm good. And you?" At the speed my heart was racing, it could have tried out for NASCAR.
My dick, apparently recognizing the voice, tried to force its way through my jeans and find the familiar warmth it so loved.
"That's great. I've missed you… I uh, I mean, I've missed hanging out with you," he said, noticing his mistake.
"Really?" I squeaked. My throat felt as if it were closing with the thought of him actually missing me.
"Well," he began. He reached his hand behind his head and began massaging his neck – which I had learned over time meant he was uncomfortable. "Yes and no… I guess… hell, James, I don't fucking know."
The irritation in his voice unnerved me.
My mouth formed an 'O' at the recognition of his aggravation in being forced to bare the details. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't get ahead of myself."
"No, you aren't. I shouldn't be rude… it's totally my bad."
His "bad," what the hell? He never talked like that. What is going on?
"Umm… so how's life?"
"It's okay..." his voice faded out. "Hey, uh… do you wanna go talk someplace?"
I shrugged. "Sure."
This has to be a positive sign.
We walked out the front door and found ourselves tracing the tree line beside Al's house. I shoved my hands in my pockets and waited for him to say something – anything.
"Look… I… umm… I don't really know what to say, I just know I didn't feel like saying it while God knows who was watching, okay?"
"I get you. Too many hopefuls in there for my taste," I said.
We both began laughing, and I felt as if nothing between us had changed. Our ability to laugh so freely around one another was the biggest plus in our relationship.
"I meant it when I said I missed hanging out with you," he whispered, his eyes diverting to the ground.
"It's just… it's ju-"
"It doesn't seem fair?" I used to be good at his finishing his thoughts, so I posed it as a question this time.
"Yeah. I mean, I would really like to meet the person who said you couldn't be friends after a shitty break-up – which by the way, was my fault."
"No, Emmett, do-"
"Let me finish, okay? I didn't have to be an asshole. Hell, I shouldn't have been an asshole, much less anything rude or uncaring. You were good to me… and I can't lie about that. It's just that things change, you know, whether you want them to or not." His head hung low and he began kicking imaginary rocks with his foot.
"I know. I don't hold it against you. I did, but I don't anymore," I stated, bending at the waist to look into his eyes. "I forgive you. And, I've had to forgive myself, too. I knew it was too much on you, and I continued to push it."
He raised his head. We were almost eye to eye, he being just three inches taller. A smile swept across his face. It was a warm and caring smile, the kind that I favored the most.
"Despite it all, shitty break-up and everything, I still love you, Emmett. I think I always will, but I know it will never be reciprocated the way I hope it to be, so I have to love you the best I can."
"I never wanted it to be that way… it's just… well, th-"
"Yeah. All the time and you have to either go with it or be dragged down trying to make it stay the same."
I looked at him, my body dying to touch him, my mind daring me not to, my dick craving his pleasure.
His hand gingerly rubbed my cheek. I leaned into the familiar gesture, needing and wanting more. He leaned closer to me, his mouth inches away from my ear.
"I would have never hurt you otherwise," he whispered.
I nodded. I knew he wouldn't have wanted to hurt me, not intentionally at least.
His thumb, gently rubbing up and down on my cheek, lulled me into a happier reprieve. I felt his stubble slide across my other cheek as he pulled away.
His lips, unbearably close, begged me to kiss them.
My cock, on the other hand, had other ideas in mind. He decided he was going to pitch tent while waiting for his "much deserved" action.
Emmett leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead and cheek. "I still care about you, too, James. I don't plan on being this way forever," he said as he motioned between us.
My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. With my luck, it would have probably slapped him in the face, flipped him the bird and said, "Thanks a lot, fucktard."
With one more kiss on the cheek, he walked back to the house.
My dick, tent still up, warned me to chase after him or else, but my heart told me to stay away for now.
As always, I listened to my heart, and made my way back into the house. Halfway there, I decided that I should huddle up in the upstairs bathroom and let it serve as my safe house for the time being – or until I could get the hard on taken care of.
I silently, but quickly, traipsed up the stairs and locked myself in the bathroom. I looked down and knew that Junior had no plans on abandoning his tent, so I brought out the big guns.
I knelt on the floor and forced the grossest images I could conjure up to mind.
The vomit scene from the Exorcist, the night Esme flashed the world – including me, Al and Jasper's fuck in my car.
Nothing was working.
As I rubbed my temples my mind decided to play a dirty trick on me.
It flashed mental pictures of Emmett. His perfect body, chiseled abs, the perfect "V", his happy trail, the look on his face when we were outside. It showed me everything I knew I should be trying to forget.
Needless to say, my dick was excitedly happy and was twitching against the fabric in hopes for some type of comfort.
"There's only one way to solve this," I whispered to myself as I unzipped my pants.
My hardened member burst out from under my boxers. I stood up and opened Alice's medicine cabinet, looking for some lube.
The kinky ass girl had some warming KY jelly – which I grabbed proudly. I love the hell out of that shit.
I squirted a dime-sized amount in my palm before rubbing my hands together. Sitting back on the pink fuzzy rug, I palmed my dick – needing the want to go away. I couldn't keep doing this, or I'd lose my mind.
The mental images of Em weren't enough to keep my greedy cock happy, so my mind – twisted as it is – pulled a flashback out of its ass.
Mine and Emmett's first time together.
"Are you okay?" I asked, kissing his forehead gently.
He nodded. His eyes were full of insecurities and worry, but I quickly squelched them.
"Don't worry 'bout anything, baby. I've got this. Let me love you, okay?"
"Okay." He sighed and placed his palm on my cheek.
His toned, bare, God-like body lay before me, ready and eager. I knelt beside him on the bed and wrapped my hand around the base of his member. He was so unbelievably thick.
I kept a smooth even pace as I stroked his length, enjoying his facial expressions as he neared release.
Not wanting to rush the beauty of "us," I let go of his ready-to-explode dick, and grabbed the lube from the bedside table.
From under my lashes, I looked at him. His face was covered in sweat that had a glitter-like sheen to it. "Ready?" I whispered.
"Always." He needn't say more.
I positioned myself between his legs, squirting the lube on my fingers. "Grab a pillow," I motioned with my head to the stack that lay beside him.
He picked the largest one and handed it to me. I lifted him and placed the pillow under his back, giving me full view of his glorious bubbly ass. Massaging the lube into my fingers, I gently palmed his balls, which in turn, made him gasp. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.
Still palming his sac, I carefully inserted a finger into him.
"Ah…" It was all he could say, but it was enough for me. I loved knowing I could make him feel that way.
I inserted a second finger. My dick, twitching and itching for its own release was begging me to let it have a turn. I pumped my fingers in and out, moving in a circular motion so he would be able to accommodate me easier and leaned up to kiss him.
"I love you," I said, deepening the kiss.
"I love you, too."
One quick peck and I was back, kneeling between his legs, prepared to surround myself in him. I took the hand that had been cradling his balls and gingerly began stroking my length, preparing it for the coming field of pleasure.
I removed my fingers and lifted his legs, pushing them toward his chest. "Hold them until I'm in, okay? I don't want to hurt you."
He nodded, acknowledging my instructions.
His ass was in full view now, and in a perfect position for the ravaging it was about to experience. I positioned my head at his entrance and pushed gently.
"Gah… James, hurry," he groaned.
I said nothing as I concentrated on his body. I put more force behind the next push and was instantly surrounded by his warmth.
"Oh, God, Em… you are so fucking…" I rambled.
His body shivered slightly. I leaned forward, putting some weight on his legs and thrust harder and deeper. With my free hand, I grabbed his dick and eagerly ran my hand up and down. The rhythm I created was at the least, skillful.
With each deep thrust, I would stroke his length downward and then as I pulled out, my hand would travel up his cock. It was a beautiful act that should have been witnessed by everyone.
As a thin layer of sweat began to make itself known, I felt my cock begin to pulsate. I was ready to burst. I stroked his dick harder and faster, eliciting a wild, feral growl from him and he came with a shudder, his glorious juices covering both my hand and his chiseled stomach.
His body writhed beneath me as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. His fingers found purchase on my forearms. The clawing that they were doing was both pleasurable and painful all at once.
One final thrust sent me over the edge…
I came with such a fury; I didn't even realize I was biting my lip hard enough to draw blood. My satisfied dick sputtered and spit its release into my palm.
I quickly stood, washed my hands of my momentary pleasure and grabbed a hand towel from behind the toilet to clean my dick. I made a mental note to replace the towel I was going to throw away for Alice.
Afterward, I felt better – calmer, even. I was prepared to face anyone and everyone.
The journey down the stairs produced an eerie silence that was not there before I had left. As I rounded the corner, I noticed no one was on the make-shift dance floor. In fact, there wasn't a soul in the entire house, aside from me.
I poured another drink and began my exploration. I walked out the front door, not a single person in sight. My mind then reminded me of the backyard, and I immediately went to the sliding glass doors Emmett had been standing at earlier.
There were a few stragglers and strangers, but no one I knew. I decided I would call Esme, get her location, then set out to find her.
She picked up the phone after four rings. "Hey thurr, brother-boo," she slurred.
"Where are you at?"
"No… umm… no, the question is where werrre you? I looked for ya, but guess what… you were missed."
"I was missed?"
"Fuck you, James. You sure know what in the hell fuck I'm mean."
"Okay," I chuckled, thinking of what she had said.
"Where are you?"
"In the woods with everybody…" I heard her put her hand over the mouthpiece and she screamed "over her"' to someone. "Jamesy-poo, you are more than welcomed to take my carrr, to, urm… your house?" She was harder to understand as a drunk.
"You want me to take your car to the apartment?" I reiterated.
"Mmhmmm…" I could hear the phone as it scrubbed against her nodding head. "Ima stay wif Alice, okay?"
"Where's your keys?"
"Purse. Under her… umm… store, bench, chair thingy. Okay, bye." She hung up quickly, and I was left to discover what exactly was a "store, bench, chair thingy."
After finding out that Esme's drunken description was quite spot on, I had her keys. Her purse had been neatly place in the storage bench Al kept by her front door in the entry way.
On the way out, I tossed my cup into the garbage can. The cops around here would shit if you had any type of container with alcohol in it – as long as you weren't their kid. Otherwise, you could drink as often and as much as you wanted, whenever and wherever you wanted.
After starting the car, I pressed the CD button. Esme had stolen my favorite album two weeks ago because she said it was too depressing for me in the state I was.
It was an album that contained mine and Emmett's song.
I quickly skipped past the first few songs and landed on the one I was looking for. It wasn't "our" song but one sung by the same singer that hit me just as hard.
After deciding I could no longer listen to "For Your Entertainment" by Adam Lambert, I decided that I could, in fact, still find a way to use his CD and not feel as though I had wasted any money.
That was how I stumbled upon the "I-want-no-need-Emmett-back-now" song.
Just one last time, James. Listen to it just once and be done, okay?
I turned the volume up and immediately began to sing along.
Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
I repeated the song over and over again until I arrived at the apartment. By the time I parked the car, I was ready to call Emmett and invite him over.
Just to talk, of course.
I shut the door behind me and glanced up at the clock. It was well past two in the morning, so I opted on going to bed.
After going up to my room, I padded into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Looking in the mirror resulted in a very loud and unexpected gasp.
I didn't look like shit anymore.
In fact, I looked damn good. My face was no longer looking worn; instead it was glowing, and I was wearing a pretty decent fucking smile.
I smiled bigger then rinsed my mouth. I flicked off the light and went back into my room, folded back the covers, and lay down.
The smile spread once more across my face as I began to think about mine and Emmett's conversation.
He doesn't plan on it always being this way.
I kept the smile plastered on my face as I relished in the repeat of his words mixed with my emotions.
I was finally happy again.
The alarm is buzzing with such intensity, I feel as though my head will burst. I can already tell I will have a ridiculous hangover today, despite the small amount of drinking I did last night.
The remnants of my dreams are still apparent on my face. Not only am I still smiling, but my jaw is tight and feels like it's about to fall off. I remove the smile, if only momentarily, and begin to rub the sides of my cheeks.
The same cheeks he kissed yesterday.
I giggle like a virgin school girl and think of the things I wish I could do to his mouth. My thoughts, however, are not resembling those of a virgin school girl.
I stand and examine myself in the mirror that hangs on the back of my closet door. I still look good. A few little indents line my chest, arms and face from the sheets, but nonetheless, good.
I open my bedroom door, attempting to keep the squeaking to a minimum in case Esme arrived sometime earlier and I failed to notice. Moving lithely across the floor, I take a peek into her room, only to find it empty.
"Perhaps she is still over at Al's house," I whisper to myself.
I'm not feeling as mundane now as I had been yesterday or the couple weeks prior. The new feeling is beginning to grow on me, another smile, yet again, makes an appearance.
I slide into the kitchen, with far less grace than Tom Cruise, and open the fridge. My stomach begins to growl, unhappy with its lack of food.
I quickly pop a bagel into the toaster and search the refrigerator for some pineapple cream cheese – which is not only my favorite but also Em's.
His name curls around my thoughts, and I try to fight the urge to say it out loud, but I instantly give in. "Emmett," I pronounce, putting a tinge of exaggeration on the "T".
The word also wraps around my tongue, the silky smooth sound it makes elicits an x-rated moan from my lips.
The bagels pop up from the toaster and remove me from my Emmett-induced paradise. I gather them, lay them on a paper plate, and slather on the delectable cream cheese.
I decide to sit at the table and pull the chair out, making sure not to scrape it against the tile.
I quickly eat every last crumb of my breakfast and head upstairs. I am expecting a few important e-mails concerning a few job opportunities, so I move with haste.
I grab my laptop off my desk and plant myself back onto my bed. I'm leaning against the headboard, thinking of nothing in particular, when a message pops up on my screen.
New Facebook Message!
I immediately get excited and log onto my Facebook page. Just as the little message box stated, I do, in fact, have a message. I click on "Inbox", and my heart begins to run its own marathon.
Sitting in my inbox is a message from none other than Emmett.
I sigh and my heart and cock both react.
My heart is happy to hear from him, while my dick is happy to possibly get a feel from him.
My smile grows even larger as I click to open my beautiful little treasure. In a few moments, I know I will be reading Emmett's words, which will be begging me to take him back. They will more than likely say something like "I love you and last night put that into perspective. I meant it when I said that I didn't want us to stay like this. Please, James, with everything in you, please will you take me back?"
Yes. That is exactly what it will say. I bet anything on that.
The screen refreshes, and my message is showing. I scroll down to read the words I've waited almost two weeks to hear, and all will be well.
When I said last night that I didn't want to hurt you, I meant it. I meant it with every fiber in my being. I hope you know that I would and will never do anything to intentionally damage or hurt you or your heart, but I do have to tell you something.
My heart is beginning to feel with anticipation as I reread the line "I do have to tell you something."
Amidst all of the confusion I am currently feeling from his letter, I am going to read further.
Last night, after you left, the rest of the crew hung out at Allie's house – which you know because you spoke to Esme before you left. While each of us were outside in the woods, we continued to drink – like crazy mad drinking. Before long, we had all split up into groups and did our own thing. Mind you, this is as difficult for me as it is for you, but I have to tell you… I can't not tell you, James. I care too much to let you remain in the dark about it.
James, I fucked Esme last night. There is really no other way to put it. Your sister and I had sex, and although I feel like hell right now, I don't think I want it to be the last time either. I mean, I know I've seen her a million times, but last night was different. I think I feel something for her.
I am so fucking sorry, James. Please don't hate me.
Tears are welling up in my eyes. I can feel the prickling at the corners, and I carelessly wipe them away. I push my fingers into my eyes, wanting to rid myself of what I just read. Wanting to make it all a dream, but I can't.
Emmett would never in a million years lie to me like that.
I can feel the temperature in my cheeks climb as I think more and more about what his fucking message said. I'm angry, yes, but more so, I am hurt. I'm breaking, and I can feel it as my heart sputters, starting and stopping, trying to mend the tear that is happening.
I could take his simple "I just don't love you anymore" shit, but this… this is too much for even me.
My life has changed in less than five minutes, and I feel like it is a change that can never be undone or fixed. This is something that can never be taken back.
I woke up this morning, all smiles and giggles, thinking about me and Emmett. Thinking about how we could work everything out. Hoping that today would be the day we mend our relationship.
Instead, today, I logged into Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex-boyfriend. Even though it has been two weeks since our break-up, I still assumed that after last night, it would be a message begging for me to take him back. In its place, I found a message where he wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night.
Fuck My Life!
FML Prompt: Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up
and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister. FML
So leave me the love, my little peaches!! You know... my birthday is coming up
on Thursday! You know how to make my day, so go and do it!