A/N: Just a fun little missing scene from the story. The last outtake, the third epilogue will actually post to the end of TINML on Friday.
Remember Me will start posting this Monday. Summary and link to the banner on my profile.
Outtake: The First Big Fight (A Thursday in October)
I tossed my keys into my locker and pulled on my lab coat, still waking up as a few other residents made their way blindly into the dressing room, looking no more alive than me at five-thirty in the morning.
"Hey, Garrett," I nodded back as I wrapped my stethoscope around my neck and closed the locker door.
"How are your girls doing?" he yawned as he plopped down on the bench and changed his shoes.
"Good," I smiled, trying not to yawn in return. "They're at home sleeping, like I should be."
"Fucking amen to that, man," he muttered, right as our pagers started going off.
Let the day begin.
My countdown to the end of my time in the ER was not just a daily X on my calendar, it was turning into a countdown of the minutes. I hated this. I wasn't cut out for it. People being brought in for overdoses, when I'd just treated them the month before for the same thing, addicts coming in and feigning different maladies to get some pain medication, elderly patients being brought in that I knew wouldn't make it until the end of the week…
I became a doctor because I wanted to help people, all people, but working to the impossibly never-ending beat of the ER was not for me. The stress of the constant flow of patients, the buzzes and beeps of all the machines, everyone shouting because somebody always needed something…
It was getting to me.
I stuck my hand in my pocket and rubbed the picture of Bella and Lily from Lily's birthday party last month and relaxed minutely, just enough to be able to finish ordering off the necessary lab work for the patient in Room Two before I made my way to the next one.
The day was passing by in a blur when we had three major traumas come in at once.
"Cullen!" Dr. Eleazar shouted, the chief of the ER.
"Yeah," I responded already jogging over to meet him by the ambulance entrance.
"Car accident, three victims, all critical and unstable. Be advised, Caucasian male, alcohol level point-three-two at the scene. You'll take that one into Room Four. I've got the Caucasian female and Garrett's got the child."
I nodded and waited with him for the ambulances to arrive, the male reaching the hospital first. We rushed him back and got to work immediately.
"Nikki, I need four units of O-neg. Lauren! Where is the ultrasound?"
"I'm on it. They were using it in Room Six," she yelled back before disappearing through the doors. Nikki appeared beside me, holding the blood as I quickly put the line in and tried to stabilize the patient. Lauren wheeled in the portable ultrasound a moment later, handing it over to me immediately to try and determine where he was bleeding out from. If we didn't stop it soon, he wasn't going to make it.
"Nikki, call the OR. Wherever the bleeding is, he's going to need surgery to stop it. Tell them to get it prepped. Now."
I was running the probe along his abdomen after confirming that his lungs were undamaged when I chanced a look up at the raised voices coming from next door. Their patient was obviously not faring any better than mine. But what caused me to almost drop the sixteen thousand dollar piece of equipment on the floor was the flash of dark brown, curly hair, and blood. Everywhere.
"Dr. Cullen!" Nikki's voice called out, concerned and warning.
My hands shaking, I tried to resume my probing, pausing when I reached the spleen.
"There. It's ruptured," I pointed out, pushing a button to print out a copy of the screen for the OR. "We need to get him up there immediately."
We started to move, but I couldn't stop taking glances behind me, trying to get a clearer view of the woman in the trauma room next to mine. Right as we moved into the elevator, I caught a glimpse of the room on the other side of the woman. The child they were working on. And her hair was red. My red.
The doors had already closed before I could try and get out and I punched them in frustration.
"Dr. Cullen!" Nikki yelled, shaking her head at me in bewilderment.
Wild, I spun around. "Do you know who the other two patients were that they brought in? Names? Ages? Anything?"
Her mouth gaping like a fish, she exhaled shakily. "No, not really. Their car burned up at the scene. Right now they're just Jane Does. I think the woman is mid-twenties, the child is…young. Maybe five? Or eight?"
"Five or eight?" I yelled. "What the hell? That's a big difference!"
Nikki, who had been around a lot longer than I had and would probably still be here long after I was gone, hit her limit.
"Dr. Cullen, this was the patient I was assigned to help. Right now, this is your patient as well. So I would suggest you snap out of it, focus and lower your voice, because if you speak to me that way again, you'll be the one needing surgery after I'm done with you."
Shakily, I reached into my pocket, pulling out my well-worn picture.
"Did you get a look at them? Can you just tell me, did the Jane Does look like them?" I croaked, really about to lose it.
Her face softened immediately, but she didn't even glance at the picture.
"Edward, I am absolutely positive that the two Jane Does are not Bella and Lily," she said kindly, yet firmly.
"So you saw them?" I pressed. "What are the chances? A brown-haired woman and a red-haired child? You really got a good loo-"
The elevator stopped at the surgery floor, cutting me off. We wheeled his gurney down through the hallways, turning him over to the surgeon after filling him in on what we knew. As we walked back to the elevator to make our way down, Nikki started talking before I could even resume my questions.
"Edward, those patients are not your girls. But you can't be out there working on patients with shaking hands. You need to go take a minute. Call them and then come back," she said softly, but I heard the order in her voice. And I knew better than to ignore an order from her. That woman could run the ER in her sleep.
I nodded, turning right instead of following her straight back to the ER, and headed over to the break room to make a quick call. If I could just hear her voice, I'd be fine.
"Hi, you've reached Bella. Leave me a message and I'll call you back!"
No, no, no. That's not what I meant. Pick up.
Sixteen calls later and still, there was no answer. Unable to control the shaking in my hands any longer, I set the phone down on speaker atop the table and pushed the speed-dial for my mother's house.
"Mom! Where is Bella?"
"Hello, son. It's nice to hear from you, too. I'm doing fine, thank you for asking."
I gritted my teeth, trying not to take out my frustration on her.
"Mom. I can't get a hold of Bella. Is Lily with her?"
I heard a sigh and I was about to start spitting profanities left and right when she finally answered.
"No, dear. Lily is here with me. Bella dropped her off around eleven today. Do you need for her to pick up Lily or something?"
"No, Mom. Can you put Lily on?"
She didn't respond, but I could hear her muffled voice calling for Lily through the receiver. I could tell she was pissed, but I couldn't deal with that right now. I needed to hear my daughter's voice. I needed to know she was okay.
Waves of relief rippled through my body as I sank into a chair behind me.
"Hi, sweetheart," I rasped. "How are you?"
"I'm good, Daddy. I ate choclit chip cookies for breakfast. Bella says they were pancakes, but they tasted like cookies. We saved you some."
"That sounds so good, little love," I smiled, trying to muffle my sniffling. "I miss you a lot today."
"Uh…okaaay. But I'm having fun and I'm gonna go now."
"Okay. I'll pick you up tonight, Lily."
I heard some shuffling around on the phone and I was slowly feeling the chaos swimming around in my head calm down until my mother came back on.
"Edward, is everything alright? What's got you so upset?"
"I've tried calling Bella like twenty times and she's not picking up."
"Edward. Don't get so worked up over something small like that. What do you need?"
It isn't something small if I need to know she's alive and okay.
"I need her to answer her goddamn phone is what I need," I snapped, hanging up before she could wring my neck for cussing at her. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I saw that I still had forty-five minutes until my shift was over. I stormed out of the break room and made my way back to the ER, only to be stopped by Dr. Eleazar.
"Edward, I spoke with Nikki. I think you need to call it a day. Hand your patients over to Dr. Carmen. She came in early. You'll owe her one," he said firmly, nodding towards the exit.
I opened my mouth to argue, but when my phone rang, it flew out of my hands in my hurry to try and answer it. Clenching my jaw, I nodded to him once before leaning down to pick up my phone and run back to my locker.
"No, Edward. This is your mother. What on earth are you thinking talking to me like that?"
"Mom, I'm sorry, I really am. But I just need to talk to Bella."
"Edward, I don't understand. Is there something going on? Are you alright?"
"No, Mom. I'm not. There was this trauma today and I thought…it looked like…Mom, I need to talk to her."
"Oh, baby. Whatever happened, it wasn't them. Lily is here and she's completely safe. I'll try and get a hold of Bella. You go finish up at work. I'll have her call you, okay?"
"No," I gritted through my teeth. "I'm off now. I'm just going to go check and see if she fell asleep at home or something. I'm going to wait to come get Lily until I know what's going on, alright?"
"Okay. Just call me and let me know."
I hung up without another word, tossing my coat into my locker and running out to my car at full speed. I raced through the streets to our house, calling Bella on repeat over and over again. Throwing my keys onto the table, I tore through the house, checking each and every room for some sign of Bella.
"This is fucking unbelievable!" I screamed as her phone went to voicemail a-fucking-gain. I started running through my phone book, calling each and every person that knew Bella, only to hang up quickly every time they would say they hadn't heard from her that day. I was about to dial up one of the detectives from our case when I heard the front door open and close softly, almost missing the click of the latch.
I was still chuckling silently as I made my way inside the house. Angie and I hadn't caught up like that in a long time. We had made tons of progress in regards to both my almost-finished book and the almost-finished script for the movie next year. Locking the door behind me, I was surprised to see Edward's keys already on the table when I set mine down. The house was too quiet for Lily to be home, but before I could even call out for him, he had flown down the stairs and I was backed up against the door, Edward's mouth moving against mine fiercely. His hands were everywhere, but there was nothing sexual in his touches. I was pretty sure he just counted my fingers.
Wrenching myself back to breathe, I gasped out. "Edward! What's going on?"
He didn't answer, just buried his face in my neck and crushed me to him, holding me so tightly I could barely breathe.
"Edward," I tried again, my voice shaking slightly. "Tell me what's going on."
"God, Bella," he breathed. "Baby, I was so worried."
"Please tell me what's going on," I whispered, scared.
He just shook his head, not releasing his tight grip on me. I pulled myself slowly from his hold, trying to get a read on his face. He looked worried and relieved all at the same time.
"Look at your phone," he said softly, stepping back so I could dig through my purse. Shocked couldn't even begin to describe what I felt when I saw I had missed close to a hundred calls.
"Where's Lily?" I screeched, my mind immediately racing with a million reasons why he would have called me so much and would explain why she wasn't here.
"She's still at my mom's," he sighed. "I needed to find you before I picked her up…Jesus¸ Bella. You can't just disappear like that. What were you thinking?"
His tone made my hackles raise instantly. It was the same tone he used when Lily left her shoes in the middle of the floor or threw her ball in the house.
"Edward," I said carefully, trying to keep from reacting badly. "I didn't disappear. It's Thursday. I was with Angela. Just like every other Thursday."
He sighed again, an exasperated sound, with the same look in his eye when he was about to talk Lily out of a tantrum.
I will show you a tantrum. Watch it, Cullen.
"Yeah, you have lunch with Angela. It's almost five now," he replied slowly, as if I were too stupid to be able to tell time.
"I didn't realize I had a curfew," I snapped back immediately.
"Don't put words in my mouth, Bella," he gritted through his teeth. "But I've been trying to get a hold of you for over three hours. I've been here, calling every person I can think of, just to find where you are. You cannot even begin to imagine the scenarios that have played out in my mind."
As irritated as I was with his tone earlier, I still felt bad that he had been so worried. I'd never meant to leave my phone off for so long, but I still wasn't completely used to having someone in my life to answer to. Just as I opened my mouth to apologize, he spoke again.
"It's not just about you anymore."
I recoiled away from him instantly as I felt my face heat in anger. His eyes were wary as he watched me almost tremble with the force of the swirling emotions within me. At first, I thought he'd take it back, but then he stood just a little bit straighter and clenched his jaw, and I was all. fucking. in.
My eyes wide open and blazing, I stepped toward him. "You know what, Edward? I'm sorry I made you worry. I'm sorry I forgot to check my phone during my inexcusable four-hour absence. I'm sure that's never happened with you, has it? There's never been a day when I've tried to get a hold of you, but couldn't?" I challenged.
He leaned back on his foot slightly, swallowing as he no doubt remembered the many days I had tried to call him while at the hospital. After a second, though, he seemed to recover himself and jutted his chin out stubbornly.
"That's different, Bella. I was at work."
I snorted. I scoffed. And then I blew a fucking gasket.
"You primeval bastard!" I shouted. "Since when do you not consider what I do to be work? Is that really what you think? Cute, little Bella writing her cute, little stories while you're off doing the real work? Really, Edward? I never knew you were such a chauvinist."
He opened his mouth to speak, but I shook my head and waved him off, brushing past him.
"Where are you going?"
"Anywhere you're not right now," I snapped, only to have his hand reach out and touch mine. He didn't grab it, he didn't pull me to him, but that one touch still made me stop. Whipping around, I ignored the pained look on his face. If I didn't, I would cry and I was not going to cry right now. Not when I wasn't even sure what we were fighting about. But as hard as I tried, my mind still registered the pain he felt, in turn causing me more.
Speaking through the lump in my throat, I shook my head at him again. "How could you say that to me? What have I ever done to make you think I'm so self-centered that I think it's all about me? I was with my agent, Edward. Discussing my book and the movie. That's my work. I'm not going to apologize for that."
"Save it. I've had my fill of being talked down to today," I sniffled, slapping away a traitorous tear before turning away to go into the kitchen. Screw the no alcohol rule.
"Bella. Please?" his voice called out softly behind me, still in the foyer.
"Please what?" I sighed quietly in the kitchen, but apparently loud enough for him to hear. He walked in and hovered in the doorway while I stood at the open fridge, seriously debating whether I even wanted to drink. It would be a petulant move and just egg him on, and I really wasn't supposed to. Grabbing a bottle of water instead, I shut the fridge door and turned around to the island, leaning down on my forearms. Keeping my eyes trained on the granite, I waited.
"First of all," he began softly. "I'm sorry. I…Bella, you're probably the least selfish person I've ever known. It was a low blow to try and say anything to the contrary."
Exhaling loudly, he walked slowly in until he was standing opposite me across the island and mimicked my pose, though I couldn't tell if he was staring at me because I refused to look up at him yet. As soon as he lost that condescending tone, I was ready for this fight to be over, but he had really hurt my feelings.
"Second of all…One of the things that first drew me to you were your novels. Your talent, your creativity, your voice…I…I let my frustration speak for me. I have to claim temporary insanity on what I said earlier."
My lips twitched and I glanced up at him briefly, but his brows were furrowed, his eyes trained on his hands.
"I am sorry for forgetting about my phone. If you had been out for so long and I needed to get a hold of you, I'd probably be pissed, too," I said softly.
"No," he shook his head, one of his hands running through his hair. "I wasn't pissed, Bella, you've got every right in the world to do what you want, when you want. I was scared. I…There was a trauma today, well, three. A drunk driver hit this mother and daughter. It was bad, really bad. And I was working on the driver while they were trying to save the other two and I saw…
"All I could see through the window was their hair. But the mother, she had dark brown hair, and the little girl…it was red. My red," he whispered, swallowing thickly. Clearing his throat, he shook his head and started rambling.
"And nobody would fucking answer me! All I wanted was to go in and see for myself that it wasn't…and I was stuck working on that guy and he's going to be fine, but they lost the mother and they don't even know who they are because their car burned, and how fucking hard is it to know how old a child is? She wouldn't even look at the picture; she could have been wro-"
I had no idea what he was saying, but I couldn't listen to him get more and more distressed. Rushing around the island, I wedged myself in between his body and the counter, throwing my arms around his neck. His arms locked around me immediately, crushing me to him as he buried his face in my neck. The hot tears falling against my skin caused my own to leak out of my eyes as I tried to apologize.
"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry, honey. I'm so -"
I was cut off by a fierce kiss, though his hands were gentle as he held my face. My hands fell down to his chest, one of my palms pressed against his chest where I could feel his heart pounding furiously. He began moving his lips down my jaw, onto my neck, up to my ear.
"No more, love," he whispered as his hands fell to my waist, his thumbs rubbing circles into my skin, slowly inching towards my center. "I just need to feel you."
Wordlessly, I lifted my arms up for him to bring my shirt over my head and toss it away. He let only his fingertips ghost over my body, up my stomach, gently over the peaks of my breasts, across my collarbones. I shivered, my back arching and pressing me into his chest. Needing to feel his skin against mine, I lifted up his scrub top and let it fall to the floor. I pressed a long, open-mouth kiss to his heart before looking up at him. His eyes were dark and stayed fixed on mine as he reached down and popped the button on my jeans. His palms flat against my sides, he pushed them down my hips, my panties disappearing with them as I kicked them off.
Two strong hands wrapped around my waist, lifting me easily and setting me onto the cold granite. I didn't have time to react to the chill before he positioned me the way he wanted, my ass right at the edge of the counter where he could grind against me. He groaned as my legs wrapped around him, kissing me deeply, his tongue mimicking what I wanted him to be doing a bit lower.
"Fuck," he murmured, his voice tight with lust and barely-there restraint. "What I want to do to you…"
"Do it," I said softly, my forehead pressed to his as he continued to grind his hardness against me through the flimsy fabric of his scrub pants. "I want you to. Whatever you want to do to me, I'm yours."
His eyes flew open, dark with lust as his breath picked up. "You really shouldn't have said that."
The next second he pushed his pants down and plunged inside me, the shock of it making me cry out and throw my arms around him for support. He began a deep, pounding rhythm, one arm braced straight on the counter and his other hand gripping my shoulder tightly, pushing me down onto him with each stroke. Biting and sucking on my collarbone and neck, he whispered into my skin.
"Because I want to fuck you until you can't walk. I want to make you scream so loud you lose your voice. I want you to feel how much I love you and how much you mean to me while I make you come harder than you ever have before."
Cue orgasm number one. I was a panting, whimpering mess and he was just getting started. He was relentless as he continued thrusting in and out of me, his lips and tongue all over my neck and chest. All I could do was chant my love for him, over and over, until he shifted and began hitting that rough spot inside of me.
"Oh God, oh fuck, oh God, oh fuck," I cried out, falling back onto the counter as I came again. His hand that had been around my shoulder slid down my chest, his thumb running over the peak of my breast as he continued downward until he reached my center.
"One more time, baby," he groaned out between thrusts, his fingers rubbing and flicking me close to oblivion again. "I need to feel you come on my cock one more time."
"Ed…ward," I panted out, my eyes rolling closed as he continued his merciless assault. "OhmyGod."
"Do you know how fucking beautiful you are like this? No one gets to see it but me. Because you're mine."
How can he still talk?
"Ye-es, Edward. Yours!" I cried out as I felt my muscles begin to tighten.
"Open your eyes, love. Watch what you do to me. You fucking own me, Bella," he growled and my eyes flew open to lock with his. He had a light sheen of sweat across his skin, the muscles in his arms and chest moving as he drew himself forward over and over, but his face…
He was looking at me like I was the only thing in the world.
"Edward!" I screamed, my orgasm seizing me and sending me into a million little splintering pieces as he roared my name and exploded inside of me.
Still inside of me, he leaned down and rested his head on my chest. I lifted my hands up shakily and weakly ran them through his damp hair.
"I love you," he murmured, humming in contentment as I scratched his scalp.
"I love you, too," I whispered hoarsely. Turning his face up, he grinned wickedly.
Clearing my throat, I narrowed my eyes at him and answered in a rasp. "So fucking cocky."
"Cocky?" he asked with a smirk as he shifted his hips slightly, going soft inside me but still there. "Or honest?"
"Wanna go for a walk?"
"Wanna start another fight?" I retorted, quirking an eyebrow at him and trying not to smile.
He shook his head, tickling me with the stubble on his chin.
"No," he said softly. "As great as making up is, I don't like fighting with you. I'm sorry."
I snorted, my eyes slipping closed. "Meh. I'm used to your cocky ways by now."
He chuckled, but shook his head in my chest again. "No. I meant about before."
Lifting my head up, I gazed down at him in concern. "No, Edward. Don't. Look…I would be worried about you, too, even without the added scare of what you thought you saw earlier. I'm sorry about my phone. And I'm sorry that I lost my temper and yelled at you. We should be able to talk like adults, not have me start screaming all over the place."
"I deserved it. I knew exactly how I was pushing your buttons, but I was too upset to stop. And I'm not apologizing for being worried," he replied gently, lifting himself up and hovering over me with his arms astride my body. "I will always worry about you, Bella, and it's not because you can't take care of yourself or because I see you as a responsibility or obligation. It's because you and Lily are my whole heart and I cannot handle the idea of ever being without either one of you.
"I'm apologizing for the way I spoke to you and for what I said."
"You already did," I smiled. "So can we both consider ourselves forgiven?"
"Depends," he smirked, a mischievous glint in his eye. "If I say no will it make you mad?"
Clenching my muscles around him, I smiled as I saw his eyes almost drift shut. "Definitely."
"Oh yeah?" he grinned, standing back up and pulling my sticky body from the counter up to his chest. "How mad?"
Tightening my legs around his waist, I tilted my head up and nipped at his jaw. "So mad."
Groaning, he rocked a bit inside of me as he began to harden.
"I'll always be mad for you, Bella."