War Of The Fans
There they were, sitting on their big comfy chairs. They both were sipping water from their glasses, only to keep up the image for children. They wouldn't want the five-year olds that worshipped them to think they drink unhealthy drinks.
They were doing a show together: "Hulk and Cena Speak!" The title was ironic because both Hulk Hogan and John Cena were always talking; the two always had microphones in their hands.
Today, they were answering questions sent in by fans.
"What fans?" Tessa grumbled, sitting in front of her TV. As a fan of both wrestling and television, she didn't get what was happening. She had never truly understood the appeal of guys like Hogan and Cena. Other wrestlers like Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels were absolutely great. They had some talent. These two on the television were absolutely horrible.
"Okay," John said. "This question was sent in by someone named Adrianna. Well, let's see what she has to say. Adrianna asks, 'John, why are you so great?' Adrianna, that is an excellent question. One that I don't know the answer to! I'm terrible."
"Yes!" screeched Tessa, watching Cena on the screen. "At least he knows it."
"You know, brother, I gotta tell you something, brother," Hulk chimed in. "Brother, you're right; you are just awful."
"Ah-ha!" Tessa was actually enjoying this show.
"All right, brother, this one's for me." Hulk looked at the paper. "'Mr. Hogan, what was it like being inducted into the WWE Hall Of Fame? Sincerely, Linda.' Oh, you see, brother, that's another great, great question, brother." John nodded, a stupid grin on his face. "Well, brother, when Vincent Kennedy McMahon called me, brother, and told me I was going in the Hall Of Fame, brother, going down in wrestling history, brother, well, I gagged on the sandwich Knobbs made me, brother."
"I was shocked, that's for sure," said Cena, chuckling a bit.
"Oh, believe me, brother, me, too. I could not believe why Ric Flair wasn't in yet, brother. I mean, that man deserves it. He's a great wrestler, brother, that Flair. How people can even compare me to him, brother, I'll never understand."
"This is just great!" exclaimed Tessa, now eating a bowl of popcorn. This kind of entertainment called for popcorn. She turned up the volume.
"Well, this has been going just lovely," John said. "What do you think, Hulk?"
"Brother, I think this is our best show yet!"
"On to more questions!" Jon looked at the paper. "Good. This one's for both of us. It's from…Tessa. Tessa writes, 'Hulk, John, do you realize what awful wrestlers you are? You guys, and Rey Mysterio, are an abomination to the wrestling industry! Signed, not your fan, Tessa'"
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! That's my letter!" Tessa was now dancing around her room.
Hulk and Cena were staring, open-mouthed, at the letter.
"Wha- H-how could someone think that way about us?" stammered John. "What did we ever do to this Tessa?"
"Yeah, brother. I'm considered the best of all time. Do you know that, brother?" Hulk was beside himself.
Tessa was staring at the guys through the television. "Oh! They admitted they stink! What, are they taking it back now?"
As it appeared, Hulk and Cena were, indeed, taking it back. The rest of the show was ruined for them, and they cried and complained the whole time.
"Nobody says that to the Hulkster, brother! All my Hulkamaniacs around the world will get you!" Hulk threatened.
"Yeah, the Cenation, too. They are very loyal to me," boasted John.
Tessa wasn't afraid. "Their fans are either little toddlers or decrepit oldies. Whatever," she scoffed.
She was through with this show, but Hogan and John weren't though with her. Her question was sent through email, therefore, Hulk and Cena were telling everybody her email address. Apparently, the "Cenation" and the "Hulkamaniacs" hated anyone who didn't like their heroes. Tessa was the enemy.
"Who are all these people?!" Tessa screamed when she saw over a hundred unread messages from over a hundred unknown people.
Now, Tessa had one thing to do" Get the fans of the hated Superstars and unleash them on the Cena-Hulk Alliance. She searched for every Edgehead and Jerichoholic around. Soon, she had her own coalition. By definition, if you loved Edge and Chris Jericho, you had to hate John Cena, Hulk Hogan, and even "The Littlest Big Man" Rey Mysterio. Tessa got a legion of fans that loved the heels, the bad guys. She sent them a list of email addresses that came with some unfriendly messages. She let her people do her worst.
Somehow, both Edge and Chris Jericho caught wind of the war between the Cena-Hulk Alliance and their own fans. They were shocked but at the same time, proud of how their Edgheads and Jerichoholics looked out for each other. The two Canadians heard of the incident and confronted Hulk and Cena. It was hard for Edge, who grew up idolizing Hulk, to stand up to him, but he did. All because of some teenager.
"Hulk, John, what do you think you're doing?" he questioned. "She's just expressing her opinion, for Pete's sake."
"Yeah," Chris said. "Don't be jealous 'cause she actually likes good wrestlers."
"Brother, you listen here-"
"Hulk, stop it!" Edge interrupted. "Just let it be."
After attempting to put up a good argument, Hulk and John eventually relented and called off the war. The best part of it all, however, was when Tessa got a surprise form two of her favorite wrestlers: a letter.
"Tessa, thank you for letting the Cenation and the Hulkamaniacs know that the Edgeheads and Jerichoholics are still alive. You're brave for sending that question, and for that, we think you reek of awesomeness, just like us!
Sincerely, Adam "Edge" Copeland and Chris Irvine (Chris Jericho)"