Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was, I would not be sitting here now writing this. I would be bathing in Champagne.
A/N: A late Valentine's Day oneshot.
"What are they?"
Tonks frowned slightly and shifted her gaze from the small packet of sweets to her smug husband.
"I can read, Remus, thank you. I mean…what are they?"
Lupin chuckled softly. "They're sweets."
Tonks rolled her eyes and nudged him. "I gathered. How have I not heard of them?" She picked up the packet and rolled it round her palm, obviously expecting it to do some sort of trick. "What do they do?"
"Nothing," answered Lupin. "You just give them to someone."
Tonks wrinkled her nose and Lupin wondered how she did it without the stud causing her a great amount of discomfort.
"What's the point of that?"
Lupin sighed. "They have messages on them."
"Oh! Do they change?"
He shook his head. "They're Muggle."
"How the bloody hell have you got them then? If you've heard of them, why haven't I?"
Lupin grinned. "Mum's a Muggle."
Tonks stared him out. "And my dad's a Muggle-born."
Lupin laughed to himself. "I never thought I'd see the day I saw a Black shouting their blood status in the middle of the living room."
Tonks raised an eyebrow. "Really? Apparently, my mum's sister used to spend all her time screaming about being a pureblood all around the house."
Lupin smiled sarcastically. "Just open them."
Tonks threw them at her husband who was far too good a catch for her to hit. "You do it then, smart arse."
Lupin pulled out a pale green heart.
Tonks raised her eyebrows and turned her hair the same colour. "It looks awful, doesn't it?"
Lupin smiled and shook his head. "Can you make it lime flavoured?"
"Sod off, Remus."
"It says I'm gorgeous."
Tonks snorted. "Really?" She pulled one out of the packet. "Oh, this one says I'm delirious."
Lupin frowned. "I'm not sure it should say that. Let me have a look." He peered over her shoulder and clicked his tongue. "If you read it properly, I think you'll find it says 'Delicious'."
Tonks huffed. "Well how was I supposed to know? The writing's so small." She allowed it to dissolve on her tongue. "I think it's cherry."
Lupin nodded. "They're my favourites." He pulled out another. "You have to hug me."
Tonks stared at him. "…What?"
"The Love Heart told you to."
He flipped it over so his wife could read it. She nodded slowly and with false scorn said, "Remus, if you'll read it properly, I think you'll find it tells you to hug it. It doesn't mention me at all."
"Dora, I'm not hugging the Love Heart."
She shrugged. "Suit yourself. I think it deserves one; all alone on Valentine's Day and about to be eaten…"
Lupin raised an eyebrow. "Be my guest then."
"I'll pass. Next one." She held out her hand and received a small, white heart. "'You're Fab'. Very true, what's yours?"
"Mine says, 'Tease Me'."
Tonks grinned. "I do; every day."
Tonks elbowed him. "Oi!"
Lupin smirked. "It's on the Love Heart."
Tonks pursed her lips but her eyes glinted and Lupin couldn't resist smiling.
"'Text Me'. What do you suppose that means?"
Tonks shrugged. "You're the one who bought them. Besides, I thought you were the font of all sugary knowledge." Seeing him frown and narrow his eyes, almost glaring at the sweet in his hands, she bit back a broad smile and kissed his cheek. "Maybe it's spelt wrong. Maybe it's supposed to be 'Test Me'. I test you most days. That makes sense."
"You don't test me."
The packet was almost empty and both seemed reluctant to take the last cherry heart. Eventually, it was the last sweet left. They were both even as Tonks had thrown 'Let's Dance' at her husband after she had read it aloud and he had tried to take her up on her alleged offer.
"What does it say?"
Tonks picked it up gingerly, as though touching it would render it half eaten. "Kiss me." She grinned and popped it into her mouth.
Without a moment's hesitation, Lupin leant over and did so. She seemed to be onto his plan but smiled into his kiss nonetheless. His tongue traced the outline of her lips and she moaned, opening her mouth for mere seconds.
That was her first mistake.
Before she was even aware of what she had allowed to happen, she had fisted her hands in his hair and pinned him to her, as if he was going to stop.
He pulled away, leaving her gasping and slightly confused. There was something missing.
Lupin smiled in a rather self-satisfied fashion and slowly poked his tongue out, revealing a small, almost dissolved, pink sweet on the tip.
"You stole my Love Heart!"
He smirked. "I thought you didn't like them. Besides, all's fair in love and-"
Whatever he had said had been muffled by the cushion that his wife appeared to be trying to smother him with.