The ride to the hotel was weird. They went ahead and changed rooms. Randy and she were now sharing a room and Teddy was staying with Matt. She and Randy didn't talk the whole way. The two of them seemed a bit awkward around each other now. She showered once they got back and when she came out of the bathroom, he was in the exact same position he had been when she went in.
"Randy if were getting married we have to talk to each other." She said breathless from frustration.
He turned the TV off and looked up at her. "I know that. You just didn't seem like you wanted to talk to me. Come sit down." He said patting the bed beside him. This was without a doubt the weirdest situation the two of them could possibly be in. She sat slowly on the bed beside him and starred at him questioningly. "I'm sorry that I had to ask you to marry me before I even got up the nerve to ask you out on a real date."
That warranted a small smile and a little bit of a blush. "I'm sorry that you have to do this. I know how much you don't want to get married again." she replied sympathetically.
He nodded. "I don't have to do anything. But I want to help." He paused and looked at the bed. "I like you Blake. You're the first person who hasn't acted like I'm fragile, evil, or crazy. You treat me like I'm normal and you look at me like I can do no wrong. It's nice to feel normal around someone, it's nice to feel like every bad thing I've ever done is wiped clean." He told her sadly.
"I like you too Randy. You don't treat me like I'm a dainty little girl who could get hurt at any time and you don't treat me like a piece of meat. So I mean seriously let's give this thing a shot. We like each other, we have things in common, and I mean maybe I'm crazy but…this seems like a good idea. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to. So we take it step by step, bit by bit, and we do this."
He smirked. "Okay. I won't pressure you and we both get to get out of the lime light. It's a win win." He nodded at her. He was actually looking forward to their fake marriage. Funny, he didn't even look forward to his real marriage to Sam in the final months before their divorce began. "So um…what kind of ring do you want?"
She smiled slightly. "A cheap plain one." He gave her a surprised look. "I don't wear a lot of jewelry. Plus diamonds aren't for all girls."
He nodded still surprised. "I never thought I would meet a girl who didn't like jewelry or at least diamonds. So then gold wedding band, silver wedding band? Designs?" he asked continuing to ask questions. She baffled him. His ex was a self indulgent, money spending, attention seeking, self-centered priss; Blake was the total opposite. Sam would never have blushed at any man and only one compliment would never have been enough to fuel her ego. This one acted like everything he said made her day brighter.
"Honestly? Pick what you think is pretty, I'll like it no matter what." She shrugged. It was true. If Randy bought it for her, she would love it. He could just sit there quietly for forever, and she would love it. But, she would miss listening to that deep, silky voice of his if he ever did stop talking. He could say gibberish and it would still be the prettiest thing she had ever heard.
"So then tomorrow I guess we need to start looking for a new house. Or you can move into mine, I mean it's big. Indoor pool, five bedrooms, four baths, that is if you want to I mean. That way we can just eliminate that step and move on to…wedding details." That sounded weird.
She nodded a small smile still on her face. "Still can't believe we're getting married. What do you think our parents are going to say?"
So Elaine and Bob had taken it extremely well, and her parents surprisingly well. So now they had their parent's permission. They had the place, Bob and Elaine's farm, they had a guest list, about a hundred people, and they had a dress code, semi-casual. Now for the hard part.
She was laying on Randy's bed her legs up on the wall holding the menu in her hands. "We have got to decide what we're going to eat Randy!" she groaned rolling onto her stomach and looking down at him.
He was on the floor doing sit ups to keep himself distracted. Now he remembered why he hated all the crap leading up to his first wedding. The decorations, the guests, the food, the clothes, at the end of the day he just wanted to scream. He sat up and looked at her drolly. "The food, really?" he asked her sarcastically.
"Yes really Randy. The wedding is in eight days and we still have a whole lot of shit to do." She snapped angrily. He starred awestruck up at her. "What?" she asked.
"I've just never heard you say shit before." He replied slowly. He liked it way too much, now all he needed was for her to slip and say fuck. On second thought, no he didn't. The wedding plans had been going on now for six weeks, and the wedding was indeed in eight days. He was more attracted to her now than ever, which was saying something, because in the almost three months he had known her, and the six weeks he had been engaged to her, he hadn't even kissed her yet. And as for sex, they hadn't even talked about it. Which was fine, for their onscreen relationship, but it didn't help any in the fact that he thought about it all the time.
"If you would pick a fucking meal then I wouldn't have to cuss. Just pick something dammit." She said angrily handing him the menu.
He had to bite his lip to keep from saying something that would no doubt get him in trouble. So he wasn't allowed to say fuck around her…well he had decided at that exact moment, that she wasn't allowed to say it around him. And now his mind was in the gutter again. He swallowed hard to keep from reacting with the f bomb himself and accepted the menu from her. He gave it a once over before replying. "The chicken sounds good." He said tossing it up onto his bedside table.
"That was easy enough now wasn't it?" she said still angry at him. They had spent a week arguing over what they were going to serve at the reception. It was proof that losing your temper does do some good. If she would have known cussing at him would have gotten him to make up his mind, or at least put his opinion in, she would have done it a week ago. She stood shaking her head and patted him on the head as she left the room.
He let out a deep breath before falling back on the floor. Some times he wondered why he hadn't made a true pass at her. Some times he hated himself for not having the nerve to admit to her that he really liked her. He braced his hands behind his head and began doing sit ups again; anything to work off his hard on.
She walked down to the kitchen, her head in the clouds. Randy, Randy, Randy. She understood that living with him, planning a wedding to him, and having an onscreen relationship with him meant that she had to be close to him. But as his number one fan, fiancé, and friend she wished he would actually get close to her. She opened the refrigerator and just starred inside, which was what she did all the time when she was bored and had something on her mind. She had thought when he had proposed to help her get out of the lime light that he had had ulterior motives. After six weeks of engagement and four of living together she had all but given up on that though. She was convinced at this point that her first marriage was going to be nothing more than two good friends who wore wedding rings and called each other husband and wife.
She picked up a glass dish of chicken salad and closed the door. She turned quickly and was surprised by the shadow in the doorway. She dropped the bowl causing it to shatter all over the floor, all over her feet. "Shit!" she said as she felt the glass shards hit her feet and legs.
He had come downstairs to apologize for making her angry earlier; he had never meant to scare her. He rushed to her, not even thinking about the glass that he was now stepping on barefoot. She had her eyes clinched shut when he reached her. Without even a second thought he lifted her up bridal style careful not to touch her calves and feet. He carried her to the nearest bathroom, down the hall, and sat her up on the counter. Leaving momentarily he turned on the light and grabbed a towel before coming back to her. "Not the best apology I've ever done." He said turning on the water.
She licked her lips and laughed slightly even as lifted her feet onto the counter. "Apology accepted. I know I've been a bit of a bitch lately, I'm sorry." She hissed as he pulled the towel out from under the faucet and rubbed one of her bloody feet.
He looked at her sympathetically. "Sorry." He said reaching into a drawer and pulling out some bandages.
"I'll buy you a new bowl." She nodded as he pushed one of the gauzy strips to a cut.
"I don't give a damn about the bowl. And I'm not just sorry about scarring you, even though I am incredibly sorry for that, but also 'cause I haven't exactly been helpful in all this wedding stuff." He said rubbing the bottom of her foot. It was cut, but best he could tell it didn't have any glass stuck in it. He had been avoiding eye contact with her up until that moment. He looked at her sadly. "I'm a little scared."
She smiled shakily at him, for the first time on his eye level. "You're not the only one. I've actually never been so scared in my life." She replied in a whisper.
"I don't guess I've really helped affirm any of those fears either, have I?" She looked away from him on that note. He couldn't blame her. If the roles were reversed, he wouldn't be reassured by his presence either. He finished doctoring up one leg and moved on to the next one. "You know as well as anyone that I'm not good with women, not after Sam. But I promise, no matter how much it looks like I'm not, I really am trying."
"And I believe you." She said looking up at him slowly.
He nodded and put the last bandage on her foot. Gently he moved her legs down off of the counter and let them hang off. "Still a little awkward between us though isn't it?"
She smiled. "We've never been on a date; we've never had the marriage talk, Randy we've never even kissed." She said matter-of-factly.
He licked his lips in apprehension. He wanted to prove to her how much he wanted this to work; he wanted to show her how much he wanted it to work. "We could change that." He replied in the same matter-of-fact tone.
"Change what?" she asked questioningly.
He answered by leaning in and gently brushing their lips together. He pulled away reluctantly. "I'm sorry." He breathed. That was a lie, he wasn't sorry at all. Not for kissing her. He was sorry that he was a gentleman. He was sorry that he pulled away. He was sorry that he wasn't ready to express his feelings for her yet.
She couldn't think straight. Randy's kiss had left her absolutely breathless. She knew in that moment that their "fake" marriage, would never be that to her. She couldn't speak all she could do was shake her head and mumble incoherently.
"That was wrong. All wrong." He mumbled to no one in particular.
She couldn't handle him believing that. But she couldn't answer either. Instead she did the only thing she could think of doing. She reached up, grabbed him by the neck, and kissed him again.
He almost let all of his fears go he almost relaxed and went for it all again, he almost gave in and let her untie some of the knots he had tied to protect himself from getting hurt. He almost did. Again he pulled away reluctantly his eyes clinched shut and took a step back shaking his head. "I can't. I just can't." he said before turning and leaving her sitting on the bathroom counter.
She gaped at the door, wondering what the hell had just happened. One second it looked like a complete turn around for them, like the feelings were mutual between them and then the next she felt like she was pushing him to his total limits. That's when it occurred to her, maybe she was. She knew the marriage was hard on him, if for no other reason than the thought of how bad his last one had ended. He was afraid to get hurt again.
He walked up the stairs his head bowed. He wanted to go back down there and tell her how he felt. He wanted her to know that it wasn't that he didn't like her, because he most certainly did, but that he was afraid of liking her. He couldn't admit that to her yet though. He had to wait otherwise he would just smother her like he had Samantha.