Written by Lainana and MegaB.


The hotline was getting pretty busy lately, as it was getting close to golden week and everyone was in frolick mode.

Snail was in the phone room with Slug waiting for calls.

There were two phones in there now. Because they were getting too many calls just for one person.

But yet as we glance into the room we see two people, with masks that just happened to fit their personalities.

It was at this point that Slug noticed that their phone was ringing.

"Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......Sssssssnail.......thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhe phooooone issssss ringggggggggg-ingggggggg."

Snail sort of looked at him funny.

The phone stopped ringing.

"Slug, was the phone just ringing?"

Slug was not amused by this development, but then again, given his speech patterns, even if he was it wasn't like he would've picked up the phone on time.

Luckily for them, it started to ring again. Snail picked it up and listened intently. Slug watched him from his drooping eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN COMPYUUTA?! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN HUH?! THIS IS AN ANBU HOTLINE! NOT YOUR GOD-DAMNED TRAIN STATION!"

"Oh so you're not asking about the train stations are you!? Well I don't care! Take you and your train stations else where!? HHUUU?!"

"Snnaaaill......."

"YEA!? Whudoyouwant?"

"........."

Snail turned around to see that Slug had fallen asleep. God damn what was he a Medic-nin for the mentally retarded?!, Snail thought to himself.

"Wake up you dumb invertebrate!"

Snail proceeded to shake Slug as hard as you can, which was a bit unpleasant given that his spit was flying everywhere.

"Guhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~"

'Yuck, this crap stinks....'

And it was in this situation that the phone began to ring again.

Snail, being a snail, eventhought he wanted to answer the phone was only able to do one thing at a time.

So he was only able to concentrate on shaking Slug like a mother that hates her baby.

This is what Don-Anbu walked into. He was nonetheless surprised and a little frustrated.

But he raised his eyebrow because the situation called for it.

He was used to the pair's antics though and the phone was still ringing. So he picked it up for them.

"Hello, ANBU Hotline, how can I help?"

"Hi! Umm...I'm havving a beet of problem with my V-C-R."

Don frowned. He had absolutely no idea what a VCR was. But this was a hotline, and damned he would be if he didn't help the customer. It was part of their ANBU Hotline Nindo afterall.

"OK...what seems to be the problem with it?"

"The light is bleenking."

"The light is blinking?"

"The light is bleenking."

Don tapped a neatly clipped finger on the oak desk before him. When something doesn't work, what's the best way to fix it?

"OK, have you tried using scellotape on it?"

"Vot is thees Cellar-tape?"

"Not Cellar-tape, scellotape man, SCELLOTAPE!"

"Yess...I have no idea vhat you arrre talkeeng about."

Don sighed.

"OK, just try hitting it."

There was a dull thump on the other line and Don smiled to himself; another happy customer!

"....Thee light is steel bleenking."

"Maybe you didn't hit it hard enough?"

There was another dull thump, this one a lot louder.

"...Thee light is steel bleenking! DO YOU EVVEEN KNOW VHAT YOU ARRE TALKEENG ABOUT?! NOW LISTEN HEAR YOU! I KNOW I AM ROUND EYE, BUT RACISM NO GUT!"

Don scratched his head. He had no idea what this guy was going on about. Snail was giving him a weird look, so he tossed a thumbs-up and spoke into the receiver.

"You're obviously not hitting it hard enough."

There was a pause and then an even louder thump. Immediately following it, a loud, high-pitched scream tore through the speaker causing Don to wince. It was followed by something sounding like Kakashi-Senpai's Chidori tearing through flesh.

The line went quiet.

"Guess the light isn't blinking anymore huh?"

And with a smile on his face, he replaced the receiver on its hook.