Author's Note: You remember Thomas from Le Petit Tourette (s11e08) of South Park. Well, this is a nice sad fic from his POV. Everything in italics is said outloud as there's no actual-interactive dialogue in this fic. Enjoy.
I own nothing! This all belongs to Matt and Trey.
Better Off Dead
Ah shit--! My name's Thomas—ass hole! Shit!—I have Tourette's syndrome. I've always had it and I—cock sucker!—I hate it. It always gets worse when I'm nervous and—bitch fuck!—I'm really nervous right now. I've never really been good with words… or people. I could probably go on about all the reasons why I'm not good but—ah shit!—it's just summed up by my… disorder. I have low self-esteem and I—I hate it when people stare and they always do. I just can't—ass fuck!—h-help it, it just comes out… I feel horrible about it too—thanks to me, my mom still hasn't gotten a new boyfriend…
A lot of my family's problems are caused by this—ah shit!—stupid disorder I have…. It's all my fault. The therapist always tried to say it wasn't but… S—So right now, as I record this, I'm also writing a note to my mom and dad. They're divorced—cock nose!—they have been since I was young… because of my disorder. Mom would be better off if I were dead.
I'm sorry, mom. I… I'm sixteen today. Mom's out at work right now. A—And I can't believe I'm going to—Ass bitch! Fuck!—go through with this. I had a friend once… well, sort of. There were two boys from South Park I was friends with—cock sucker!—Craig Tucker and Kyle Broflovski. But I lost touch with them when high school started and now… I'm alone again.
I've finished my—ah shit!—note to mom. She'll tell dad. They'll… be happier this way. I've cleaned my room and packed all my things away… I think that's—ass bitch! Fuck shit!—everything. So I strip down and walk to the bathroom, razor in hand. I fill the tub—I'm sorry, mom—and climb in. At first… cutting myself hurts. It's not the first time I've done it though. . .
I'm certain everyone would be better off if I were dead. Ah shit! Cock nose! I wonder if there's anything after this? Darkness tugs at my vision… I think I hear mom call my name downstairs. I just smile—I think I'm crying. I close my eyes…
I love you.