Hi everyone, I know it's been a really long time since I updated. I promise you, I have tons of very good excuses, but I'm going to write them at the bottom A/N. Enjoy the chapter!
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own SWAC.
The (Not So) Innocent Bystanders
Dakota Condor - Daddy's Little Angel
"Dakota, honey, here are your cookies," Mrs. Barf, our maid, handed me a platter of cookies. Okay, her name isn't really Mrs. Barf, it's Mrs. Barfé, but same difference. I ran my eyes of the plate of cookies.
"Mrs. Barf," I began in a sweet tone. "There are chocolate chip cookies. I ASKED FOR BUTTERSCOTCH AND CHOCOLATE CHIP!" Mrs. Barf stumbled backwards and ran out of the room. Gosh, it's so hard to find good help these days. I propped my feet up on my leather couch.
"Omigosh!" I squealed happily, leaning towards my plasma widescreen TV. "MacKenzie Falls is on! So much drama," I copied dramatically. "So little time." I flung myself backwards onto the couch. I quickly righted myself and leaned closer as Chad Dylan Cooper appeared on screen.
Chad Dylan Cooper. He is so... yummy. Mmm, that boy is one hot cookie. Unfortunately, my plans to date him have a while to go. See, according to my daddy, I still think boys have cooties. He doesn't even know I watch MacKenzie Falls. He thinks it's too "mature" for me.
But I had to find a way to meet Chad. I mean, he was my future husband after all. But how...
Just then, a commercial for that loser comedy show, So Random!, came on. Ugh, what a joke. They were doing some thing where their newest cast member, Sonny Munroe was going to treat a poor, underprivileged child to a day at So Random!
Wait a minute...
A devious plan formed in my head as I watched the commercial. I could fake a charity and use it to win the day at So Random! Or better, win the day at Condor Studios. Beacuse guess who works at Condor Studios? Only the hottest heartthrob ever. Quickly, I grabbed one of my twenty phones and dialed the number they showed on the screen.
"Hello, you've reached Sonny Munroe!"
"Sonny Munroe?" I made my voice sound hopeful and wondering. "My name is Dakota!"
"Hi Dakota," I could hear Sonny sounding a bit confused. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, I love So Random!" I simpered. "And you're my favorite celebrity. I really want to meet you, and the people at the Children Having A Dream foundation said that you would help me."
"Aww..." Sonny cooed. "Of course I will! You just come on down to Condor Studios tomorrow, and I'll give you the best day ever!"
"Thank you so much!" I squealed. "Bye!" I hung up the phone and an even grin formed on my face.
"MRS. BARF! DRIVE ME TO CONDOR STUDIOS TOMORROW!"
The next morning, I was looking adorable in a little pink dress with tights and boots. And of course, my hair was in braids. Why? Because braids just scream adorable.
"Dakota! Hi, I'm Sonny!" Sonny Munroe rushed up to me, grinning hugely and carrying... a muffin basket? Okay, really?
"You're here!" she beamed. No duh, Sherlock. "I'm going to give you the best day of your little life!" I arranged my face in a sad expression.
"It's not gonna be that hard Sonny," I sighed. Hey, might as well play the part good, right?
"Well, will this help?" Sonny asked, handing me the muffin basket. I rolled my eyes inwardly. Good thing I'm a natural born actress.
"A So Random! gift basket!" I exclaimed, taking it from her. "My life's already better!"
"Yeah!" Sonny laughed. "You got your So Random! sun visor," she placed the visor on my head. "Your Nico and Grady yo-yo. Watch this, it even talks." Sonny grinned and spun the yo-yo.
"Yo-yo I'm Nico! Yo-yo I'm Grady!" it talked in a mechanical voice. Oh my god. That was the lamest thing I've ever seen.
"Believe it or not, it's a collector's item," Sonny said, in a voice that implied she also thought it was lame. Huh. Maybe she wasn't as stupid as she seemed. "Oh, look, there's Zora! Hey Zora!" she pointed as the creepy girl rode by on her scooter.
"Hi!" I grinned angelically as the girl passed me. Her grin faded and her eyes widened.
"Evil," she hissed, before riding away. Uh oh. Who did this freak think she was?
"Uh, don't take that personally," Sonny told me, looking worried. "That's just Zora."
"That's okay," I replied, gazing up at her. "When every day's a struggle, names don't bother you." Wow, impressive. Sonny's eyes widened and she put a hand to her heart. I glanced to my left to see a poster of MacKenzie Falls.
Time to put my plan in action.
"Oh my gosh, MacKenzie Falls shoots here?" I gasped. "I had no idea. I love Chad Dylan Cooper."
"Yeah, so does Chad Dylan Cooper," Sonny muttered. What is that supposed to mean?
"You think I can meet him?" I asked, turning to her hopefully.
"But... you won the day at So Random!" Sonny said.
"I get it Sonny," I sighed again. "Just another disappointment." I gazed towards the MacKenzie Falls poster longingly.
"No, no, no!" Sonny cried quickly. "Sonny Munroe does not disappoint! She... appoints!" Sonny grinned dumbly and tapped my nose.
"You'd do that for me?" I exclaimed.
"Just watch me dial my cell phone," she beamed and I let out a squeal. A real one. I was gonna meet Chad Dylan Cooper! Sonny dialed her phone and put it to her ear while I waited in anticipation. Her face changed suddenly, from a grin to more of a worried grimace. She quickly hung up.
"Let's go get some ice cream!" she grinned suddenly, and dragged me along. I rolled my eyes. What about Chad Dylan Cooper? Maybe she had gotten his voicemail. Then why didn't she leave a message?
I decided to go along with it for now. Sonny took me to the cafeteria to get lunch, where I ordered a hamburger. As I peeled the bun off, I realized they forgot the pickles! Gasp! How could they forget pickles?
"Hey Dakota," Sonny sat down next to me. "How's your hamburger?"
"They forgot to put the pickles on it," I scowled. I mean, really? What kind of idiot doesn't eat pickles with their burgers?
"But, you didn't ask for pickles," Sonny said, looking confused.
"Yeah," I gazed dramatically up at her. "Because my life is already sour enough." I pushed the burger away and pouted slightly.
"Look, why don't I call Chad?" Sonny suggested. My face lit up. Finally! I sat in up in my chair as Sonny dialed again. Suddenly, her expression changed again. Oh no, this was not happening again!
"Really, Chad?" she asked in an annoyed tone. Yes! She was talking to him! "Look, I need a favor. I have the sweetest girl here and she really wants to meet you." Sonny's face changed into an annoyed look again. "She's nine." Sonny's face looked shocked, and she pulled the phone away from her ear.
"Yeah, bad connection, I'll call you back, don't worry about it!" she said quickly, laughing somewhat forcedly. "Bad connection." she chuckled, looking towards me. I rolled my eyes inwardly. I bet Chad hung up on that loser. Wouldn't blame him. Sonny dialed her phone again.
"Look, I have the sweetest little girl in the world, and she really wants to meet you," Sonny insisted, going outside. I sighed once more. My meeting with Chad Dylan Cooper was looking more and more uncertain. After a while, Sonny came back in.
"Okay! I'll talk to you later!" she chuckled in that same forced way. "Okay, peace out!" Sonny turned to me, looking worried. "Look, Dakota, Chad can't make it. He's uh... very busy."
"Of course he is," I groaned, getting up. "Story of my life." It really was. Daddy was always too busy to play with me, our maids are always too busy cleaning, the butler is always too busy... doing whatever a butler does. Anyways, the point was, even though I had everything I wanted, no one spent any time with me.
"Hey, now, come on!" Sonny encouraged. "When life gives you lemons, what do you do? You make lemonade!"
"I don't want lemonade!" I whined. "I want Chad!"
"Well, what if that lemonade you were drinking," Sonny grinned fakely at me and pulled a crazy straw out of her basket. "Was coming out of a So Random! crazy straw? See?"
She began babbling about how 'awesome' this crazy straw was. I was really, really, angry now. I didn't care about Sonny or her stupid lemons. Or her stupid crazy straw. All I wanted was Chad Dylan Cooper.
"I. Want. CHAD!" I yelled, stomping on Sonny's foot and then storming out of the room. I stormed into the Prop House with Sonny hobbling behind me.
"Dakota! Toe stomping is not nice!" she chastised me. I gave her a puppy dog look and her face softened. "Aw, but you're so cute and so underprivileged, I'll forgive you!" Like taking candy from a baby.
"Aw!" I turned around to see the other blonde girl beaming at me. "Is this the little darling from the Children Having A Dream foundation?" I gave her a toothy grin.
"Awww, EVIL." the freak opened her coffin and scowled at me. I returned the scowl. That just proves she is a freak. What kind of person lives in a coffin?
"Zora, she is not evil!" Sonny insisted. "She might have... anger issues, but mostly she's..."
"Disappointed!" I cut in.
"Because you got stuck with Sonny?" the blonde sympathized. "Girlfriend, I know how you feel."
"No!" I told her to talk to the hand and turned back to Sonny. "I'm disappointed because none of you are Chad Dylan Cooper!" The whole room gasped in unison.
"Well," the blonde boy said, getting up from the couch. "According to the World Wide Web, we are much cooler than Chad Dylan Cooper."
"This isn't about cool!" I shot back. "This is about hot. Chad Dylan Cooper is hot!" Oh, he was on fire! "Get out of my way old lady!" I shoved the blonde girl aside and walked towards a gnome.
"Hey, hey, hey!" the freak yelled. "Paws off the gnome, sister."
"It's mine." I smiled sweetly. "Until I get to meet Chad."
"Oh, I don't think that you wanna get in a gnome fight with me," Freak glared at me and grabbed the gnome. I tugged it away from her.
"Oh, look he's wearing the same pants as you!" I jeered. I threw the gnome onto the ground, where it shattered.
"GNOMIE!" the freak screeched, then attacked me. I fought back, kicking and screaming, until finally Sonny pulled me away.
"Dakota! Stop!" Sonny screamed. "Uh, why don't we continue the tour?" she suggested, looking desperate.
"Is Chad on the tour?" I asked sweetly.
"... no," Sonny replied uncertainly.
"Then put him on the tour!" I yelled before stomping on Sonny's foot once more and storming away. Sonny followed me into her dressing room.
"Dakota! Stop this right now!" she insisted. "Please, let's just do something nice!" I was really getting sick of Sonny. It was obvious she wasn't gonna be any help, so I needed to get rid of her.
"Okay, I'm sorry," I sighed. "Can we play dress up?"
"Sure!" Sonny cried, looking immensely relieved. I grabbed some scarves and stuff.
"Okay, go stand by the mannequin!" I grinned cheerily. "I have to decide how to make you look pretty!" Sonny smiled and stood by the mannequin. "Now close your eyes." Sonny did as instructed, looking a little confused. Before she knew it, I tied a scarf around her arms and legs. Her eyes flew open.
"Dakota!" Sonny cried. "What are you-" she was cut off as I tied a scarf around her mouth.
"I'm going to see Chad." I declared. "Peace out suckas!" I ran out of the room and towards the MacKenzie Falls set. Unfortunatly, the two dumb boys and Freak were waiting for me.
"We thought you might try to escape," Freak glared. "Get her, boys!" The two boys grabbed me and dragged me back to Sonny's dressing room. Sonny and Blondie were already there.
"You!" Sonny glared, stomping over to me. I stifled my giggles when I saw she was still tied up. "Are one mean, manipulative, selfish..."
"Gnome murdering!" Freak broke in.
"Chad-loving!" the two boys cried.
"Sonny-tying!" the blonde smiled, applauding me. I grinned slightly at her.
"... evil little girl," Sonny finished, glaring daggers at me.
"And you say it like it's a bad thing," I smiled back at her.
"That's because it is a bad thing!" Sonny cried. "What were you raised by wolves? I'm gonna call your parents and I'm gonna give them a little piece of my mind!" Oh, go right ahead darling. If you wanna get fired.
Just then, my daddy walked into the dressing room. Perfect timing.
"Hang on a moment, Mr. Condor!" Sonny yelled, still glaring at me. "I am in the middle of giving this little girl-" I decided it was time to end this.
"Daddy!" I cried, running over and jumping into my daddy's arms. The others gasped in shocked.
"The best day ever!" Sonny finished unconvincingly.
"Good news Princess, I got you a puppy," Daddy grinned at me. I acted shocked, and then gave him another big hug. Big deal. I already have 12 puppies. "I will see you later, my darling."
"Okay, bye!" I grinned and waved at him. "I love you with all my heart." We did our little kiss-heart-hand thing, and my daddy left. I turned back to the idiots, who were standing there looking dumbstruck.
"Okay, losers," I scowled. "Everybody front and center!" The loses scrambled forward. That's more like it!
"So?" I asked them, walking by and glaring at each one of them. "What have we learned today?"
"That your dad owns the studio?" Freak said uncertainly. No duh, Sherlock.
"That I'm under photographed," Blondie sighed. Okay, whatever. I reached Sonny.
"That Children Having A Dream isn't a real charity," she glared at me. "You made it up."
"Of course I made it up," I replied. "But the dream is real." I walked over to a mirror and pulled out a tube of lipstick.
"Children. Having. A. Dream." I sighed, writing the first letter of each word on the mirror. They spelled out CHAD.
"Chad," they all hissed.
"Chad," I sighed dreamily.
"Uh, Miss Condor?" the darker boy asked. "If your dad owns the studio, why did you have to go through all this to meet Chad Dylan Cooper?"
"I'm nine," I explained, shrugging. "I'm not really supposed to watch MacKenzie Falls. And I'm certainly not supposed to be crushing on the star. My daddy thinks I'm an angel."
"Obviously, he doesn't have a very good sense of direction," Freak laughed bitterly. I glared at her.
"Now," I said. "Get me some quality face time with Chad Dylan Cooper!" Sonny began to protest, but Blondie cut her off.
"Sonny," Blondie said warningly. "Remember, she's the sweet little daughter of the guy..."
"With the power to fire you," I finished her statement, grinning. "So make it happen! NOW!" I yelled and they all scattered in different directions. I lay on the striped couch and waited for one of them to come back with Chad Dylan Cooper.
About half an hour later, Sonny rushed back into the dressing room looking excited. With no Chad. This better be good.
"Guess what Dakota?" she grinned. "I got you a date with Chad!"
"Date!" I gasped excitedly.
"Yep," Sonny beamed. "He's going to meet you, at this hot new club called the Basement!" Oh my god. I was going clubbing with Chad Dylan Cooper! SWOON!
"You're the best Sonny!" I cried and enveloped her in a huge hug.
"Aw, thank you!" she patted my back awkwardly. "Well, come on, let's get you looking pretty!" Sonny helped me get into a cute purple dress and curled my hair. Finally, she blindfolded me and led me somewhere.
"Where are you taking me?" I demanded. "And why do I have to be blindfolded?"
"I'm taking you to the basement," Sonny answered. "It's so exclusive, no one can know where it is!" Finally, I heard music and saw bright flashes through my blindfold. I began to dance and Sonny led me over.
"Chad, Dakota," Sonny introduced. Oh my god. I ripped of my blindfold. "Dakota..."
"Chad!" I squealed. Oh my Chad, he was even hotter in person.
"Aw," he cooed. "You must be the sweet little girl I'm obligated to hang with." I clapped my hands and Sonny picked me up.
"It's really you," I giggled, touching his face. "Now, take me to the back of his head!" I demanded. Sonny took me around to the back. "He's perfect back here too!" I giggled, playing with his hair. It was so soft...
"Ohmygosh, I love this song!" I cried as a slow song came on. "Take me back to his front! Let's dance." I grinned at him before grabbing his arms and swaying to the music. I was dancing with Chad Dylan Cooper! Eek!
"Soo..." Sonny broke in after a while. "I'm feeling a little third wheel-ish, but thanks for the dance!" She set me down and walked away. Good riddance. I began to pull Chad closer and kept dancing with him.
"It was great meeting you," Chad said after a while. "You have outstanding taste in TV stars. I just need to dance with someone a little more... not you."
Oh my god. There was no way he just looked at Sonny.
No. Way. Chad was mine!
"Chad," I put my arms out stopping him from walking towards Sonny. Chad and Sonny? That's... that's all wrong. Chad and I belong together! "Let me explain to you how this evening is gonna work. You're gonna hang out with me. A little talky, talky, and little dancy, dancy. You'll laugh at all my jokes, and then, we'll live happily ever after." I grinned, pulling him closer.
Chad quickly stood up. What the heck was he doing?
"Okay, now I held my end of the bargain," he insisted. What bargain? "The meety-meety, the greety-greety, and now the beaty-beaty. So beat it." Gasp! Oh, no he didnt! He was not getting rid of me that easily. I clutched onto his leg and didn't let go.
"Whoot whoot!" I heard a new voice and turned around to see my daddy.
"Hey, Mr. Condor!" Chad yelled out. "Hey, how's it going, man? Can you believe this little brat?" I gave Chad a sweet look before rushing over to daddy.
"Daddy!" I cried, hugging him.
"DADDY?" Chad echoed in shock.
"Sonny!" Daddy boomed. "You brought my precious angel to a Hollywood club?" Uh oh, there he goes being all overprotective of me. They talked for a little, and Daddy didn't fire them, unfortunately. However, the club did turn out to be fake, which was pretty funny. Only those losers would create a fake club. Daddy led me away, and we went out for ice cream and burgers (with pickles of course).
I didn't really pay attention to what my daddy was yelling at Sonny and Chad about. I was too mad about them. I mean, Sonny and Chad? Well, Sonny better get this into her puny little skull:
Chad Dylan Cooper is mine.
And I don't share.
This is really long, but please take the time to read it! It's important!
Hello! Remember all those really good excuses I promised? Well, turns out there's just one: school. It's a very good excuse though. The good news is, it's almost over for me.
The bad news, is that I have to give in my laptop to be updated for a whole month. So I won't be able to be on FanFiction for awhile. I'll be able to use my mom's computer every once in a while, but I definitely won't be doing any writing until I get my laptop back. :( I'm sorry, and I will miss you all very much!
I'm dedicating this chapter to all of you who have been patient enough to put up with my slow updates and long absences! I love you all! Have some virtual cookies! Special thanks to my awesome FanFiction BFF, DancingRaindrops , who was sweet enough to dedicate her latest one shot to me. I'll miss you! I'll miss you all!
Second thing: Lately, there has been some plagiarism going on in the SWAC archive. One person in particular has been copying other author's stories and reposting them as her own. I think this is dishonest, low, and just plain wrong. I encourage all of you to go check out the user account Friends4Change, started by Demi-Fan-Channy.
The main person behind all of this is someone called funnylovin. I implore you to go report her stories, because they are not her own. I also highly suggest that you DO NOT REVIEW these stories, even if you are posting a flame. First of all, flaming is not right, and I don't think that we should resort to that level. Second, these people are just looking for attention, and by reviewing/flaming, you are just giving them what they want.
So please, report, but don't review.
And the third thing: For those of you who have read my one-shot, Pictures of You, many people have suggested that I continue it. I think that's a good idea and I will think about that once I start writing again. However, I'll need some ideas.
The main question I had though, is what song should I use? I want to use a song for each chapter if I continue, since it was originally a songfic. If you guys could suggest some song names and artists that you think would fit the story.
That's all! Thank you for putting up with my incredibly long author's note! I love you all and I'm going to miss you SO much!
Peace, love, and TONS of hugs and kisses,
~ TeddyLuver ~