Atrus keeps a journal, Saavedro kept a journal... why can't you? This is my journal, if I lived in the Myst world and if I had left Saavedro trapped between the force fields in Narayan. (Ignore the date, it's just random numbers)


I keep thinking about what I did in Narayan. I can't help but think that it wasn't right. I wish I could go back. I feel sorry for Saavedro, but... I don't know. I can't justify my actions. I can't imagine being stuck there, forever, with you're friends and family, just out of reach. After twenty years believing he was the only survivor of his Age, I gave him hope... which I then shattered when I betrayed him. I feel twisted up inside. I don't like it. I wish Atrus could repair the linking book to J'Nanin. Then I could help Saavedro.

Damn it! WHY did I do that?? I know, I just know that I'll be feeling awful about it forever now. He was so... so pathetic by the end. I had him completely at my mercy, and what did I do? I ran. I fled back to Tamonha, and didn't just cause sorrow for myself, but for Cathrine and Atrus too. If only I could go back. I know Atrus says, you can't change the past, but I wish, I wish so desperately, that I could. He doesn't understand. He didn't see the messages that Saavedro left for him in Edanna and Amateria and Voltaic.

ARGH! Saavedro was a madman, he would have killed me, surely! I HAD to leave him trapped there! I HAD to!

Even as I write this, I know it's not true. I can see now, a way I did not see before that I could have freed him. He wouldn't have been able to get me, and he would have got what he wanted. I too, had what I wanted. Am I really that selfish?? That I would leave a man in eternal torment, as soon as I have what I came for?!?!


Ah, I had it all in pretty font to look like handwriting, but alas, this has not remained.