Mister Scary Face

A D. Gray Man fanfic

By mew-tsubaki

Note: Obviously these characters belong to Hoshino Katsura-sensei, though I love them dearly. This takes place kinda in volume 14, right after the gang gets back from retrieving the first Ark (just exclude the last couple of pages of that volume, though!) This is also my first D. Gray Man fic, so let me know what you think in a review!


"You've got to understand, that smell was awful, Allen!" Lavi griped at lunch.

It had been barely a week after the Tiedoll and Cross units had returned with their masters to the Black Order. The Exorcists were working on recuperating, and the best way to do so was through sleep and…well, eating.

Allen frowned, blushing. "I ate until I wasn't hungry. I need to regain my strength, Lavi."

Lavi pinched his nose and waved his arm around. "But it REEKED! Who stuffs their scraps underneath a hospital blanket?!"

"…" Allen had no answer for that, especially with the lovely Lenalee Lee watching. Lenalee only tittered, though, and Miranda laughed, as well. Things were finally getting back to normal.

As normal as they can be for us Exorcists, Miranda thought as she walked to the trash receptacle and threw out the remainder of her sandwich. My strength still isn't where it should be, though I'm moving along at a faster heal rate than Allen. I'm just glad my Innocence isn't a parasite-type…

As she looked back at the table with her comrades, she thought of their Innocence. The only one at the table with a parasite-type anyway was Allen; Krory was still deep in his coma in the hospital wing, though the nurses were sure he'd be fine once his Innocence healed.

Looking across the room, Miranda realized she truly only knew a fraction of the people. Her eyes fell on someone slightly familiar sitting at a table by himself, two tables over from Allen and the others. He's Kanda, one of my other comrades from the battle. Miranda smiled. I never properly introduced myself.

She walked over to Kanda's table and stood across from him. Miranda extended a hand and warmly smiled. "We never officially met, Kanda. My name is Miranda Lotto. I'm a fairly new Exorcist around here. …Actually, I'm a rather new Exorcist altogether."

Usually expecting some sort of interaction, Miranda was surprised when he didn't even look up from his noodle bowl. Her smile wavered a bit, but she tried again. "It's nice to meet you."

Kanda's eyes flicked up and he scowled. He didn't shake her hand, nor did he stop eating. When he didn't stop glaring at her for more than a minute, she began to wonder if he was a lost cause.

"Don't worry about it, Miranda!" Allen called from their table. "Kanda's like that to everyone! Mister Scary Face doesn't know any emotion other than angry!"

Miranda felt awkward being told this when Kanda was right there. She looked back at him and saw the anger burning hot indeed in his pupils. His grip on his chopsticks snapped the bamboo, and he stood up in a flash. The way he moved his hand, Miranda thought for sure that he was going to draw his sword, his Innocence, Mugen, but he instead whipped a finger pointed at Allen. "You have no right to call me names, Bean Sprout!!"

Allen hopped up from his seat, an annoyed and exasperated look on his face. "The same as you, Mister Scary Face!!"

Kanda gritted his teeth. "I'm surprised your puny brain can even generate insults, considering its small size!"

"We all know the stupidest one here is you, Kanda!"

"Say that to my face!"

"I just did!"

"Pit it against my Innocence!"

"Hold it!!" Miranda interrupted, shocked by her own volume. She nervously looked back and forth between a stunned Allen and a grumpy Kanda. "D-Don't you think we should give it a rest? You know, with the fighting? We do enough of it with the enemy."

Lenalee stood and tugged on Allen's arm. "Miranda's right. You two shouldn't waste your energy fighting each other." Allen began to protest, but Lenalee shut him down with a stern look. "It's about time you two got over whatever grudge exists between you two."

Miranda looked back at Kanda, who grunted and turned his head. The samurai left his empty bowl on the table and walked out of the cafeteria, fist gripping his sword hilt tightly. Miranda wondered why he had to argue with Allen 'round-the-clock, but it was obvious that Kanda would never say why. It was obvious he'd never let anyone ask either.

Sighing, the twenty-something looked at the table and picked up his bowl. "You should at least throw away your trash…"


Of course, the next couple of days were the same between Kanda and Allen. With the exception of Miranda.

She was determined to get a word out of him. She'd introduced herself again the second day, but it got to the point where she sat with him during meals to try to get him to talk. But Kanda wasn't budging one bit.

"Kanda's always been like that," Lenalee told Miranda after a week. "I've known him since we became a part of the Order. I don't recall a moment when Kanda was…un-Kanda."

"I guess boys don't ever really outgrow that phase until they're in their late twenties," Miranda commented with a thoughtful look on her face.

Lenalee partially smiled. "Um, Miranda, it's not much of a phase for him…"

"Ha! Even you agree, Lenalee!"

Lenalee jumped at the sound of Lavi's outburst, and she looked over and saw Allen and Lavi come to join them in the courtyard. Lenalee reddened at the grin on Lavi's face and the slight smirk Allen tried to hide on his. "I-I-I didn't mean it like that!!"

"But why is he so unhappy?" Miranda interrupted before too much teasing occurred.

Lavi waved her off. "The day we figure that out will be the day we defeat the Millennium Earl!!"

"That actually doesn't sound like much of an exaggeration, either," Allen stated.

Miranda frowned. "Hasn't he had any friends at all?"

The other three looked at her and she burned under their eyes. "No one really knows Kanda," Lenalee finally said. "I mean, the Order has the basic background on him, but he doesn't share anything past that. I haven't even known anyone who knew him at least a little well." She paused. "…to tell you the truth, even when I've meditated with him, he doesn't open up. Maybe I'm the one who knows him best –and Komui, since we've all been with the Black Order so long –but my brother and I still know very little."

Miranda looked at the other two, neither of whom had been with the Order for much longer than Miranda herself had. Maybe it was a hopeless case after all to learn about the misanthrope. Although, is it really all right for me to pry? …No! He should have someone he can rely on! He needs a friend!

Thus begins Reformation Project: Kanda. :)


Trial One: Get Kanda to Be Polite. (Though that's what Miranda's been trying for about two weeks now…)

"Good morning, Kanda," Miranda said with her usual warm tone. She sat down across from him, wondering if he'd respond.

Go figure, he didn't say anything. Darling ol' Kanda just kept on eating his tofu and miso soup.

Miranda watched him for a minute, not resisting the quirked eyebrow that came so easily. But she also kept her mouth shut. She dug into her eggs and English muffin, enjoying her breakfast in the…uncomfortable? silence.

Kanda had no reaction to that. He continued eating his breakfast and acted as if Miranda weren't even there.

That's okay. I can handle his cold shoulder. Miranda sipped at her tea. Of all of us, I can probably handle him best. I was used to my neighbors' awful treatment of me for so long. So bring it on, Kanda.

But that's easier said than done…


Trial Two: Have Kanda Do Something Nice. (No comment.)

Well, about a week was as good as Miranda could do to stick to that first plan. She kept up on it, but it was beginning to wear her thin. So, she formulated a new idea.

Now, we're about halfway into the third week of this, so here goes:

Miranda kept a close eye on Kanda throughout the day, like she had been for a little while. She even knew his schedule now (most of which was meditation, but let's overlook her slightly stalker status, okay?).

One midday, most of the workers and Exorcists were out and about. Miranda actually had just been going to her room now that they were allowed outside of the hospital wing (and yes, she really was just going to her room) when she caught sight of a long, blue-black ponytail.

Maybe I should give him a day off…, the twenty-five-year-old pondered. I've been at it for so long now… No, wait! He won't be expecting it! Spontaneously, Miranda darted her eyes around and dropped a handkerchief that floated swiftly near Kanda.

Coming out of hiding, Miranda came up behind passerby Allen. In what she hoped was an inconspicuous manner, she called out to him and looked back. "Allen, is that yours?"

"Hmm?" Allen looked back, not realizing she'd said something to him.

Miranda watched Kanda, though, and not Allen. However, Kanda didn't even pay attention to his surroundings, least of all anything on the floor. In fact, he absentmindedly stepped on it and walked on. You've got to be jesting! she mentally whined. He lacks manners on all levels!

"Miranda?"

She blinked and turned back to Allen. "Oh. Allen." Amidst of all this, she'd momentarily forgotten about her unsuspecting victim.

"You all right, Miranda?" he asked.

"Er, no, no… I mean yes! I'm fine!" She turned away from him. "See you later, Allen!" And she couldn't help it: Her eyes drifted on their own to the fading samurai silhouette…

No, I'm not fine at all.


Trial Two and a Half: Repeat Strategy One in the Hopes That Something Will Come of It So Miranda Won't Pull Her Hair Out.

The nub and gist of this one? It was an even bigger epic fail than Strategy One.

Miranda had given it about another two weeks, but even she was at her wits' end. It was like Kanda was completely unbreakable, impenetrable –UGH!! For Kanda, there weren't even any more words to describe him, let alone ANY that nailed him on the head in one!!!!

"…so we can plan another trip soon, probably to Athens." Lenalee stopped Miranda in the hallway. "Were you even listening, Miranda?" she asked with a sigh.

"I'm sorry," the young woman replied with an equally exasperated exhalation. "I'm a little more tired than usual."

Lenalee studied her face. "How's Kanda been?"

Miranda was partially expecting it, but it was still a slight surprise to hear Lenalee ask the question to begin with. "He's…unnerving."

The short-haired girl nodded slowly, understanding. "It's sad that he gets even to you. You're so sweet, Miranda. It's a little hard to believe he won't even say a word to you."

She half-frowned and put a hand on her hip. "I feel like I should have known better. Some people just don't like people." She let the comment sink in and faced Lenalee when the girl didn't reply. Miranda winced. "Was that too harsh?"

Again, Lenalee slowly shook her head. "No…but still sad, nonetheless." They arrived at Komui's office and the girl waved over her shoulder. "I'm going to see if I can help my brother. Why don't you try to get some rest? We'll talk about Athens later, since it's only a maybe on that mission."

Reluctantly, Miranda dragged her hand up to wave back, but as the door shut and left her alone in the hallway, she knew she couldn't rest. It was barely evening.

On her way back to the dorms, it happened.

She saw him.

Seeing him gave her a little burst of energy, and Miranda didn't feel tired at all. When he passed barely a hand's width from her, she gave him a sweet smile. "Good evening, Kanda."

And what did he say? Nothing. …so she snapped.

Miranda shot out her hand to grab his arm, but his reflexes were faster. He caught her wrist and glared at her, but she only glared right back. "Would you do us all a favor and have a positive emotion for once?" she said calmly through gritted teeth.

He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Yes, Kanda, you. Be nice or indifferent instead of angry." She blinked her eyes a couple of times; her exhaustion had suddenly returned.

"I don't want to hear that from you, Trashbags."

Her mouth hung open in an O. How dare he-!! It wasn't her fault that she usually had bags under her eyes!!! And when one consider that he was part of the reason for them recently-!!! She glared daggers at him. "You don't even know me and you're already calling me names?"

If possible, he narrowed his eyes even further at her. "I know you –you're the type who sticks her nose into other people's business. You deserve a name."

She closed her eyes. "That's it!" Her eyes flew open and she yanked her arm out of his grasp. "How about we settle this fair and square? You pit your Innocence against mine."

He scoffed. "And why would I want to do that?"

"Because you can't resist a good fight," Miranda answered with a devilish glint in her eye.

"This is going to be murder, my Mugen against your dinky timepiece," Kanda stated, drawing his sword.

"Time Record!!" she corrected, while also breaking her Innocence out. She leapt back from him, noting he was getting ready to charge. That did scare her a bit, but she was driven by determination. She was not going to lose this battle.

Kanda was good. She'd almost call him the best, if she hadn't already seen Allen in action a few times before. He nicked her right arm a few times, her left once, kicked out her left foot from under her at a point –it was obvious that she shouldn't be any match for him.

But she was. The adrenaline was pumping, and she was managing to stay just enough out of his reach to not end up incapacitated. Somewhere in the back of her brain it occurred that this was really stupid; they'd both reopen their wounds. But the thoughts at the forefront of her mind beat everything else out of the way.

"You're better than mediocre," he commented as she slipped out of a corner.

She smirked. "Why, thank you. I daresay that sounded like a compliment coming from you."

He grimaced. "Don't patronize me."

Miranda panted, escaping a nasty blow that came just a wee bit close to her head. "Then how about this: If you win, I'll leave you alone-"

"Deal!!" he interrupted, and he narrowly missed grabbing her Innocence. He tsked.

"I wasn't finished!" she griped. "If I win, you have to show me your true self –the one I know –I can feel it! –is kind!! You aren't angry all of the time, Kanda!! Everyone's happy at some point in their life!!"

He blanched a little at her end of the bargain, but he put more effort into wearing her down. Unfortunately, it was beginning to work, and Miranda wondered how much longer her Time Record could hold out.

He's a freak for wanting to stay so private! she internally remarked. Lenalee was right. He got even to me, and now I'm going to end up back in the care of the nurses! At least I'm getting the chance to train a bit. I didn't realize I had it in me to fight like this. Time Record has its advantages after all. She squinted as she witnessed him misstep. So I'm not the only one who's being worked to the bone here-

She paused mid-thought. How peculiar. She really hadn't fought like this before. She hadn't ever been so determined about something before, either.

She hadn't experienced these new emotions, either.

Miranda blinked like a small animal caught in the headlights. She understood now why she couldn't let him get away with ignoring her. He brought out…the best in her. …and she liked it!

Kanda wavered for the briefest moment, and Miranda seized the chance to freeze the male Exorcist's time. It was nice to have him looking at her so openly, right there. …Hers. She hadn't realized before just how handsome he was. Hmm… Added bonus! she thought with a smile.

In the next second, something drove her to be a little wild and she shared her first, soft and quick kiss with the unknowing Kanda.

She blinked, turning red as Lavi's hair. H..Had she really done that? She unfroze him and Kanda blinked as well, feeling that something was amiss. He visibly shivered, which only made Miranda smile and suppressed a chuckle. With a quick jab of her right hook, Kanda was knocked down on his ass, blinking more. He had just lost!!

"So it is possible to beat you," she stated, the smile never leaving her face. She offered him a hand up. "A deal's a deal, no?"

Sickened that he couldn't quell the heat in his cheeks, he growled and stood up. "I honor my word…"

"So you have to be nice to me now, be yourself with me."

He gave her a long look like he was going to toss his soba.

Miranda raised her eyebrows. "Or…whenever…" She thought for a moment. "How about whenever I call you 'Yuka'?"

Now he was positively green. "'Yuka'?" Kanda echoed.

She just gave him her sweet smile. "Well, you don't let anyone call you by your first name, do you? So Yuka it is."

Though he would never admit to it, her smile was alarmingly effective –but only a little bit. He lessened his blush as much as he could and rolled his eyes, trying to keep an air of his usual haughtiness. "So how do I escape this one?"


FINALLY!! Thanks to Blue Mango for helping me get through the writer's block on this one –and now's it's posted because of you!!! Whether you want one or not, there will be at least two more (or was it four or five?) KandaxMiranda fics coming from me soon, so please leave a review and look forward to the next one!!

-mew-tsubaki :D

P.S.-Not to shabby for my first Man fic, no?