Okay.. I have a major writer block and am getting very angry at myself. Anyways I had a dream the other week.....or month.....and decided to write a fanfic about what I think could (not should) have happened at the end of shadow kiss.

I already posted this part of my story a while ago as a preview, but this is a little bit different to the previous one I posted.

The first chapter will be in dimitri's pov!!!!!

Enjoy!!

all credit to richelle mead. we will continue to worship her!!!

Beep..Beep..Beep.

I muttered a string of profanities in Russian as I turned off the Alarm clock. It was Saturday, 6 pm (am for vamps). No training with Rose today. I groaned.

I wish Rose would tell me what was bothering her. Even though she insisted she was fine I knew her too well to believe that. And it was something other than the freaky dark side of spirit.

I wanted to go to her and make sure she was okay, but I thought I should check my e-mails first. I hadn't checked them in a week. But who cared about something as trivial as e-mails when the girl I loved seemed scared out of her mind? I didn't.

Still, I made my way over to the computer, just in case something guardian related showed up.

Nothing guardian related was in there, but I did have one from my younger sister, Viktoria. I cringed thinking about her. She was a little bit younger than Rose. I certainly didn't want some guy who was 7 years older than my baby sister to be sneaking around with her. Like I was doing with Rose. God I'm such a hypocrite. A perverted, paedophilic hypocrite.

I sighed in frustration as I opened Viktoria's e-mail, a little too grateful for the distraction. It read:

A REAL BOYFRIEND

TO DIMKA

I don't care if you have a girlfriend or friend who is a girl right now.... I don't care if you are seeing someone or not (hopefully you are) but I got this sent to me and thought it could help you out a bit.

When she stares at your mouth
[ Kiss her ]
When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb idiot cause she thinks she's stronger than you
[ Grab her and don't let go ]
When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
When she's quiet
[ Ask her what's wrong ]
When she ignores you
[ Give her your attention ]
When she pulls away
[ Pull her back ]
When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she's beautiful ]
When you see her start crying
[Just hold her and don't say a word ]
When you see her walking
[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
When she's scared
[ Protect her ]
When she steals your favourite hat
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
When she teases you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
When she doesn't answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]
When she looks at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]
When she says that she likes you
[SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!!!]
When she grabs at your hands
[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]
When she bumps into you
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
When she tells you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]
When she looks at you in your eyes
[ don't look away until she does ]
When she says it's over
[ she still wants you to be hers ]

AND REMEMBER!!!

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.
- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her
- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
- Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think it's stupid.
- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.
- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
- Let her know she's important.
- Kiss her in the rain. :)
- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; 'whose butt am I kicking baby?'

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.....
Kiss you.....
Love you....... *wink wink*
Text you..........

Guys send as: 'I'd be this Boyfriend.
Girls send as: A real Boyfriend should ....
and if u do not re-post this within 3 minute you'll have bad luck with the person u love...

Okay... you don't have to worry about ^^^^ that bit cause it's a load of crap but I hope you can keep this in mind when you need help with your special someone.

Love, Viktoria

Ps. Mama wants you to call her

Well, one things for sure. It had given me a small insight into what I should do around Rose. I read through it again, just in case.

I quickly replied to the e-mail:

Thanks Viktoria. That is actually a lot of help. Maybe I can work out why my sort-of-girlfriend is so depressed lately. Thanks, Dimitri.

Ps. Tell mama I'll call her soon.

I hit send. Was Rose my girlfriend? I mean, we'd slept together a few times. We both loved each other. We were jeopardising our careers to be together. So I guess, Rose was my girlfriend.

I made up my resolve. I was going to go and see what had Rose so freaked out. I'd be there for her and comfort her in any way I could. Like a real boyfriend should.

First I'd call my mama. I couldn't keep her waiting forever.

I dialled the number I had memorised. The conversation, of course, took place entirely in Russian.

"Hello?" my mama's sweet voice came through the phone line and I already felt homesick. It was wrong, but sometimes I wondered if being a guardian was worth not being with the people I loved.

"Mama, it's Dimitri."

"Dimka! Oh, my son. I missed you so much!" my mother's relief that I'd called her made me slightly guilty that I hadn't talked to her in more than a month.

"I miss you too mama. I wish I could see you." And I knew that it was entirely true. I missed my mama. And my sisters. Sonya, Karolina and Viktoria. And my nephew, Paul. And who could forget my grandmother, Yeva?

"I am so glad to hear that, because we are coming to see you, Dimka!" mama said excitedly.

"What do you mean? You're coming to America?" I asked.

"Yes. Me, Yeva, Viktoria, Paul, Karolina, Zoya and Sonya. We should be there late tomorrow." She said, naming all the people I hadn't seen in over two years. Since Ivan died....

"Who's Zoya, mama?" I asked, confused.

"Well, if you called me more often you would know. Karolina's baby. She had a girl."

Thinking about my sister having a family put a pang in my heart. I loved Rose with every ounce of my being, but that would never happen to us. I don't think I realised just how much I wanted a family of my own until I realised everyone else I loved could.

"Dimka, are you still there?" my mama said.

"Yeah, I am. How's Karolina?" I asked, coming back in to reality.

"Oh, she is glowing Dimka. And Zoya looks just like her. Paul is really excited about his new sister. He absolutely adores her. It reminds me so much of how you were with Viktoria." She said.

I smiled, thinking about when my mama had Viktoria, and how I always loved and wanted to protect my little sister.

"I can't wait to see you mama." I said.

"I can't wait to see you either, my son. Goodbye Dimka."

"Bye mama."

I actually couldn't wait to see my family. Although I did actually think it was really odd that they were randomly coming in the middle of the semester. Viktoria and Paul had school. But I decided not to over think it and just be happy that my family was coming to see me.

My phone made the weird alert that told me I had a text message. It was from Rose.

Are you awake?

I smiled. Even though I'd seen her yesterday, I still missed Rose. I was once again grateful that I was off duty until tomorrow afternoon.

Yes. Are you okay? I replied.

No.

A shiver of fear went through me when I viewed her response. I immediately feared the worst.

Did you cut yourself again? Please say no. Please say no.

I tried not to. I swear I did. But then what I was worried about came true and I couldn't stop. Please come. I need you.

I could already picture the fearful, half-crazed expression on her face that she got when Lissa's darkness became too much. I was the only person who knew about Rose's depression, beside's the school counsellor, Kirova and Alberta. She didn't even tell Lissa. I briefly wondered what it had been that set her off this time.

I'll be there soon. I sent, and then headed off to her dorm room, silently praying that no one would notice me.

*~*~*

When I got to Rose's room I didn't want to think the worst, but it's what a guardian is trained to do.

She opened before I finished knocking, and pulled me inside. I took in her blood-soaked pyjama's and the bandages she had around her wrists. I knew she'd cut herself and cleaned up her own wounds. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not, but I could see they had stopped bleeding. The next thing I saw was her messy hair, puffy eyes and red nose and realised she'd been crying. Viktoria's e-mail came back to mind.

When you see her start crying, just hold her and don't say a word.

And that's what I did.

Rose wrapped her arms around my neck and sobbed into my chest. I lead her back to her rumpled bed and sat with her, rubbing her back and telling her everything would be okay. No, I did not know why she was so upset. Yes, I was going to support her through it. Whatever it was.

After her crying died down, I pulled back to look at her.

"What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly, in what I hoped was a soothing voice.

She just stared off idly to the corner of her room. I hugged her tight to me and she returned the embrace. "No. Not just yet. Just—just hold me." She whispered.

I held her. I don't know how long we just sat there, but Rose's mood suddenly changed and she kissed me. Fierce and desperate and I returned it. She seemed scared still, and I didn't want to take advantage of her emotions.

"Rose...your upset...."

"It doesn't matter. Please." She said kissing me again, and what else was there to do but kiss her back? And run my hands under her shirt...and remove that shirt....

Sorry for leaving it there.....but I think it leaves a few things to the imagination lols

And im not comfortable writing scenes like that. I like reading them...but not writing them

Just make something up in your mind

And I'll update soon...like tomorrow

Can anyone guess why rose is so upset???

REVIEW!!!!

Love x-shadow-x-kisses-x