I do not know if my kind is supposed to feel jealousy. I'm not sure what such a feeling is, really. It's not that I don't hear about it, see it in people's faces when they spy something that is not even supposed to be for them. But I only wonder why they don't recognize that not everything can be claimed.
I feel love. I feel passion. Desire. Excitement. Freedom. All the good feelings of the world flowing through me. I feel these all the time and I can't help but let them fly through me and back out into the world.
I like to think I have a purpose that way. I have a duty. I am a gift to the world, both the real and the unreal. I do not have time for the selfishness of wishing I can change things to suit me. Fate doesn't work that way.
But sometimes, I can't help it, and I wonder at the answer to a question. I speak truth and it's hard to imagine that others refuse to do so.
Not that it really matters. I love Geth. He loves me. Fate has brought me happiness that way and I would never dare complain.
But there is Winter. Pale, lovely Winter, as dazzling as a snowflake or an icicle in the sunlight. She doesn't realize how beautiful she really is. She is something unearthly and distant.
I know I am beautiful. How can I not be? Everything I feel, everything I am, sings of life and love and everything else those mean.
But she's beautiful, too. I may be life, the world, but she is something else altogether. Still part of my world, but not. Her beauty is silent snowy nights, icy lakes under the stars, angelic snow flurries flying through the air. She doesn't see it in herself, but that's what she is. Winter, incarnate.
I know Geth sees her beauty. There is something between them and I don't know if I believe Winter when she explains it. Maybe that is how she feels, but how does he feel? They've been together so long, so many journeys, so much to learn. What would he say to her if I never approached?
I don't think anything would change, though. I hope not.
I don't think I feel the jealousy I've seen. But I used to think love was perfect, pure, and simple and nothing will ever stand in its way.
Maybe I'm wrong.