Title: Learning Experience
Prompt: 098 Didactic
Summary: AU. Kitty Pryde is in search of a learning experience.
Beta'd by the ever-great Lyssie.
1. intended for instruction; instructive: didactic poetry.
2. inclined to teach or lecture others too much: a boring, didactic speaker.
"Let me get this straight." Pete Wisdom stared, over the rim of his glass at the girl across the table. "You want me to have sex with you?"
"Wow." Kitty Pryde shrugged, leaning back in her seat. "I spent all of that time coming up with a creative way to broach that subject and you pretty much just summed it up right there."
"Interesting." Pete lit a cigarette.
"Look, it's not that I've been pining over you or anything." She rolled her eyes. "It's just that, since I got here, you're the only one who has even tried to help me apart from my handler."
"So naturally, you've moved on to wanting to get naked and sweaty in my general vicinity." He sniggered. "You didn't want to ask Mitchum?"
"Despite the fact that Mitchum is about a grillion years old, I'm also going to put it out there that it's ironic that he shares his name with a company that manufactures deodorant." Kitty waved to the waitress. "Can I get another gin and tonic? Thanks."
"Fair enough. So, we still haven't really covered why you want to have sex with either of us."
"I don't want to—Look, I'll explain this one more time." Kitty took a deep drag on her own cigarette before responding. "I am absolutely the best there is at what I do. My computer skills are the reason that I got into M.I.T., the reason that I was recruited by American Intel, and then the reason that I ended up being head-hunted by MI-6."
"Shut up. Anyway, while my skills have provided me with excellent career opportunities, they haven't exactly provided me with any decent social networking opportunities."
"You seem to make friends pretty easily."
"That's not what I mean and you know it."
"So what? You saying that you haven't been laid in a while?"
"I'm saying that I haven't been laid… in ever."
If spit-takes were something that Pete did in real life, he would have done one at that point.
"You… You've never…Are you serious?"
"Look, I didn't want to tell you this. I was hoping that I could just seduce you and get it over with, but clearly you're the 'look a gift-horse in the mouth' type." The waitress put her drink down in front of her. "Thanks, Sarah."
"Well, yeah, I have been known to be a little suspicious of beautiful women throwing themselves at me for no apparent reason."
"I have a reason. I've been given the same briefings as everyone else here. That includes the idea that situations may arise where alternative persuasion is required to obtain information or avoid blowing a cover."
"Yeah. I think we've all been there at least once." Pete shrugged.
"Well, I can't very well resort to tactics that I don't have, can I?"
"Ah." Pete fidgeted with one of his rolled shirt-sleeves. "So…"
"That's where you come in." She nodded.
"You want me to teach you how to seduce a bloke?"
"Pretty much." Kitty flushed, belying her confident demeanor. "Look, you're single, and you know that you're attractive."
"You think that I'm attractive?" Pete batted his eyelashes.
"I didn't say that. I said that you know that." Kitty lit another cigarette. "Pay attention, Wisdom."
"Right. Sorry. My mistake."
"Also, we've both been vetted, so I know I can trust you."
"Yet another incredibly valid argument." Pete shrugged his shoulders, drinking another sip of his scotch. "When you put it that way, I don't know why we aren't having sex right now."
"I also think," Kitty continued, ignoring his sarcasm, "that you seem like the type to not let this sort of thing become awkward at work."
"And how, exactly, did you come to that conclusion, Pryde?"
"I talked to Maxine. She told me about last year."
"Ah. Well I will have you know that that ensued after a remarkable amount of tequila which was consumed on the part of myself and Maxine both." Pete chuckled, shaking his head.
"I didn't think that she seemed like your type." Kitty thought about mild-mannered, buttoned-up Maxine who took phone messages and organized the head of the department's schedule.
"Looks can deceive, actually." Pete winked. "Not to kiss and tell or anything, but you should have seen the closet full of goodies that she had waiting for us back at her flat."
"Seriously?" Kitty snickered. This was too much. "Maxine?"
"I was just as surprised as you, Pryde, I promise." Pete spread his arms.
"I take it from your expression that that is one thing that I can expect not to find littering the closet of your humble abode?"
Kitty outright blushed that time. Pete took joy in the fact that she was this easy to get a rise out of.
Pete hadn't had a whole lot of opportunity to work with Kitty Pryde as of yet, really. She'd only started with the department a little over a year ago. They'd started working together on assignment only recently. All that he'd managed to learn about her, apart from what was in her dossier, was that she was bright, very young and attractive, that she liked gin and tonics, smoked Silk Cuts Lights, and, apparently, that she was somehow still a virgin.
"I would say that that is a fair assumption, Pete." She shook her head.
"You've got to have something fun lying around." Pete waggled his eyebrows. "I have a hard enough time believing that some bloke hasn't managed to talk his way into your knickers by now, but if you're about to tell me that a techno-geek like you doesn't own some brightly-colored bit of battery-operated plastic that occasionally rocks your little American world, then I'm afraid that I'm going to have to call your bluff."
"That is—" Kitty was about to tell him that it was none of his business whether or not she owned anything of the sort. Then, she realized that, in light of what she was asking him to do, he really had the right to ask her anything. Instead, she blushed even harder, hating that she could feel the heat spreading into her cheeks. "I believe I might have something lying around that matches that description."
"Heh." Pete grinned broadly. "Excellent."
"I can't believe I'm telling you this." Kitty waved to Sarah to get another drink. Pete was keeping count. She was clearly planning to get liquored up before this continued.
"Hey, if we're going to do this, I'm going to have to know everything that you know." Pete shrugged easily. "I have to be aware of where I'm starting from. We don't want to waste time repeating things, do we?"
"I guess not."
"Good. So, exactly how many somethings matching that description are we talking about?"
"Just the one." She rolled her eyes. "Sorry that I don't have a closet, too, for you."
"That's perfectly fine. I'd rather not have the competition, in all honesty."
"Interesting." Kitty drained half of her new drink and lit another cigarette. "I thought that boys were totally into watching girls get themselves off."
"Oh, we are." He nodded. "Don't get me wrong. It's just bloody intimidating when a woman has a collection of high-priced toys that can do the job better than I can."
"That does not speak well of your skills, Wisdom."
"I think that, perhaps, it actually just speaks very well of the adult novelty industry."
"Ah. Got it." Kitty nodded. "So, if you get to ask me questions, does that mean that I get to ask you questions, too?"
"Okay, then. How many women have you been with?"
"Right for the jugular, I see." Pete nearly choked on his drink. "I don't even usually answer that question. But, since your interest is purely scientific, I can honestly tell you that I have no idea, because I don't keep track. However, I know that it is less than 50 and more than 10."
"You really don't know?" Kitty was genuinely surprised. Wisdom was ordinarily so detail oriented, that she'd have expected detailed dossiers on every single one of them.
"Well, I could sit down and make out a list, but I won't."
"Anything else you want to know?"
"You do have skills in this area, yes?" She smirked, but her twinkling eyes informed Pete that she'd probably already spoken to every woman he'd ever slept with in the department. And, while that wasn't a large number of women, really, it was enough.
"I should think that if you'd heard otherwise, you wouldn't be asking me this. Besides, what kind of man would I be if I said no?" Pete smirked back.
"True. But, you're right. I've spoken to a few people about this. I have to say that your references are…well, I believe that the word glowing could be used."
"Well, it's nice to see that people appreciate effort and hard work." Pete mimed buffing his fingernails on his jacket. She rolled her eyes, and put out her cigarette.
"It certainly looks that way." She shrugged. "So, I guess all that's left is for you to tell me whether you're up for it or not."
He snickered, and she rolled her eyes at the unintentional pun. "I'm serious, Wisdom. In or out?"
"Right." Pete nodded slowly, his expression suddenly becoming serious. "Just so we're clear, you're asking me to have sex with you right now."
"Well, obviously we'd go to my flat first, but yeah." She shrugged again, clearly slightly uncomfortable with how long it was taking him to answer. "Look, if you're not interested or whatever, that's fine. I just thought that—"
Kitty was stopped mid-sentence by Pete's arm shooting into the air to flag down the waitress.
"Yeah, Sarah? We're going to need the tab run, luv." Pete grinned up at the waitress. "And do me a favour, would you? Be quick about it, please. Cheers."