A/N: Perhaps some of you still remember me, I'm that Hungarian woman who wrote The Aztec Incident and its sequel, The Sword of God. Those fics used to be quite popular a few years back, and I'm amazed to be still getting reviews and favourites for them… it's flattering, actually, thank you, people! :)

Five years ago, after having finished writing 'Aztec', but before having started 'Sword', I wrote this little one-shot and posted it on adultffnet only, because back then there were absolutely NO M-rated Artemis/Holly fics on ffnet, and I didn't want to be the first to post something like that. XD In the past few years, however, I have seen lots of new A/H fics in the M-rated section of ffnet's Artemis Fowl archives, and many of them are stronger sex-wise than this one. So I have finally gathered enough courage to post this fic here. Took me long enough, eh? ;)

Naturally I have re-read it, edited a few things out ("tamed" some of the stronger sexual stuff to be fit for M-rating), added a few new things, so it's an updated and better version compared to the one on adultffnet.

Please note that you might not understand every detail of this story if you haven't read its prequel, The Aztec Incident!

Also, the edited parts have not been beta read by anyone, therefore they might contain some small grammar mistakes.

Naturally this fanfic is not for kids, hence the rating. You must be at least 16 to read it.

Disclaimer: the Artemis Fowl characters belong to Eoin Colfer. I'm just playing around with them and making them do kinky stuff. :P Mr. Colfer, please, don't frown!

Welcome in Heaven

"Speaking of children…" Holly's voice trailed off, but only for a second, "don't you think it's funny that we have a child and have not yet slept together?"

"Yes, funny… Something that definitely has to be changed," Artemis replied, giving her a suggestive smile.

"Exactly." She slipped her hand into his and they began walking up the stairs to the front door of Fowl Manor. Holly hesitated for a second before carrying on. "If we have another child, then we will have it the traditional way… and-"

"Yes?"

"We aren't going to name it Artemis!"

For some reason Artemis did not comment on this, only grinned at her and opened the front door.

"Perhaps it's needless to ask, but am I invited to enter?" she asked.

"You're invited not only to enter, but to stay forever. Or… at least as long as I live." A dark expression flashed across Artemis's face, and Holly knew that he had once again thought of dying much earlier than her, but she decided to make him forget about it – at least for the time being. After all, she had not left Haven to live with a pathetic Mud Man who was grieving over the shortness of his life and the loss of his extreme intelligence – she had come to live with a young man who, despite his façade of indifference and greediness, was caring, warm-hearted and generous. Not to mention deliciously sexy.

Artemis led Holly across the hall, past lengthy rows of polished medieval armours and up the stairs whose wooden railings were decorated with intricate carvings. Holly had been here several times before, but the house had never looked so empty, so… dormant, as if she had entered an enchanted castle in a different dimension. She was wary of making any noise, afraid she would be ruining the almost sacred peace that dwelt inside the building.

She had no idea whether Artemis's parents had returned from Canada yet – although it seemed that they had not –, and there was no sign of Juliet or Butler being around either.

Suddenly, Holly felt like a rebellious teenager, hiding in dark corridors to snog with her boyfriend, and she was amused by the irony of it: even though she was no teenager anymore, she was about to snog with her boyfriend. My boyfriend… she pondered these two words. They sounded weird. She had never really had a boyfriend. Certainly, there had been a pair of annoying elves and a stupid gnome in her high school class who had wanted to get her attentions, but they had not been in luck, because Holly wasn't the average girl. Actually, she was as different from the average as possible. After all, how many elf girls were dreaming about policing? How many had ever considered Mud People as their friends? And how many had a Mud Boy as their boyfriend?

None. None but Holly Short.

She knew that most people would say she was totally insane to choose a human as her mate, and well, perhaps they were not completely wrong… For a second it even crossed her mind whether she had done the right thing in leaving her home, her son, her job… giving it all up to be with Artemis?

Then she quickly banished the thought. She had made her choice, and there was no way to back out now. Especially now, when Artemis suddenly halted and released her hand.

Holly realised that they were standing before a tall, massive door probably made of oak. It seemed too heavy for a lithe and weak person to push open easily. However, Artemis did not intend to push it open. He stepped to a small keypad set into the wall right next to the door. "24122001," he said as he typed in the numbers. The door whooshed open at once. How convenient. Of course, Artemis Fowl and physical exercises just did not fit.

"I have memorised it," Holly nodded, but she didn't understand the furtive smile on his face. He looked as though he were expecting her to realise something. "What?"

"It's a date," he replied. "Can you guess what?"

24… that had to be the twenty-fourth of something. 12… December. 2001… "The day we met," the girl breathed.

"Yes," he grinned sheepishly, leaning against the doorframe.

Holly felt an indulgent smile spread on her face. "Artemis Fowl… who would have thought you could be this sentimental?" Of course, she had been this sentimental as well: she had chosen their son's birthday as the code of her flat's back door in Haven. Then again, she was an elf, and elves were emotional creatures. And genii by the name Fowl weren't emotional creatures. Most of the time, that is.

Artemis shrugged, and if it had not been so dark, Holly would have sworn he had blushed. My darling Arty… She grinned to herself. He has such a huge problem with emotions and admitting that occasionally even he has them!

"But… how can you have remembered the date we first met?" she wondered. "You were mind-wiped."

"Yes, but I had coded the seal on my door long before I was mind-wiped," he replied, as though the fact that he must have… liked her at the age of twelve was the most natural thing in the world. "You know, after the mind-wipe I only remembered the code, but not the reason why I had chosen this particular series of numbers. Sometimes I was wondering about these numbers, but couldn't figure them out." He made a grimace. "It was a devastating feeling."

Yes, she could well imagine that. Artemis Fowl, the genius, not knowing why he had given his door-lock the secret code 24122001… Poor dear, Holly thought. That mind-wipe had been indeed cruel, it had taken so much away from Artemis… it had taken not only his memories, but part of his true self as well.

Holly felt like reaching out and gently stroking his face, but she never had a chance, for he took a step backwards and cleared his throat to regain his composure. "Well, milady…" He slightly bowed, mimicking a lackey and motioned her to enter.

She tore her gaze from his embarrassedly smiling visage and peeked into the room. It wasn't nearly as dark as the corridors, as the last rays of the setting sun shone through the window, bathing each piece of furniture in a golden-orange light.

A desk here, an armchair there, a bed in the far end… all of them had navy covers. Besides the pure whiteness of the walls two colours dominated the room: the deep brown of the oak furniture and the dark blue of their covers. The curtains were heavy, navy velvet. Simple, very tidy, and somehow so… so much like Artemis. Every object in here radiated Artemis's personality. Correction: Artemis's old personality. That of a cold, business-like man. But the new Artemis was much more than that. The new Artemis wasn't all navy and brown: he was sky blue, gold, beige, and a light shade of rose. Rose for his blushing and regularly returning embarrassed smiles… Yes, Holly mused, these were the colours she could describe today's Artemis with.

On the whole, the room seemed somewhat Spartan – not that the pieces of furniture were not comfortable, they just… lacked a woman's touch. Well – Holly's lips tucked into a smirk – it was going to change soon. Some colourful curtains, a few patterned rugs and a pair of cheery yellow cushions, and Artemis wouldn't recognise his own room! Juliet would surely help me with making this room less tidy and more lively, she grinned to herself. I can already imagine Arty's face when he sees the changes…

She held back a chuckle as she felt Artemis shift beside her. She was suddenly dragged back from dreamland to Fowl Manor and realised that he was waiting for her to enter. At the same time the realisation struck her that if she chose to enter this room, she would necessarily end up sleeping with him. It wasn't that it had not been obvious for her any earlier, but now it felt more obvious than ever before. Only the question remained: was she ready for it?

Heck, she was ninety-four years old and a virgin; of course she was ready for it! She had been waiting for this all her life! Well, at least ever since she met adult Artemis Fowl the Second…

She took a deep breath and entered. The dark blue carpet felt unusually soft under her feet as she walked up to the bed, or, to be precise, almost to the bed, since she didn't want to be that straightforward.

The sealing mechanism hissed behind them and the heavy oak door slid into place, separating Artemis and Holly from the rest of the world. Holly watched the door close with her heart throbbing in her throat. For a second she felt as though she had been shut into a prison cell with Artemis as her captor – then again, if a prison looked like this room and her captor was as dashing as Artemis, she definitely had no reason to complain.

Forcing her quickened breathing to slow down and not reveal her anxiousness, Holly turned around to see him approach. His steps seemed somewhat hesitant, as though he weren't sure what he exactly wanted. If she had not been slightly uncomfortable either, she would have thoroughly enjoyed his insecurity and begun to tease him about it. She couldn't help it: he was just too cute that way. Insecure Artemis let her glimpse the innocent, childish quality of his personality that had been hidden under the heavy layers of deviousness ever since he had been five. Holly hadn't had a chance to glimpse it before they had entered Second Tenochtitlan; but there, she had seen it. She had seen through the mask of indifference and got to know the real Artemis – the Artemis that was a much nicer person than he was showing to the rest of the world. Sometimes she wondered why he had hidden his true self, and she hadn't yet found the answer. But I will, she decided. She had a few decades before her to analyse him, and she was sure she would figure him out!

Now that he stopped a few feet away from her, Holly wondered whether the answer to her question was that he had been ashamed of it… ashamed of his true self? Ashamed of being softer and more vulnerable than he was letting on?

Yes, that could be the reason. For the time being he indeed looked vulnerable. Even innocent.

"Er…" He absentmindedly reached out and tucked a pitch-black lock behind his right ear, then stood as stiff as though he had just swallowed a straight-bladed sword. The only body-part of his that moved were his lips – he happened to be chewing them. Holly supposed he had not even realised he was actually chewing his lips.

He was so endearing that way… So, so endearing that Holly could no longer hold back, her 'emotional elf' instincts took over and she crossed the space between them and plastered her lips to his. He seemed to relax in her arms, his stiffness slowly disappeared and he began responding to her kisses. Running her fingers across his locks, Holly parted her lips to give him better access. Their tongues met, tentatively at first, then more and more fervently with each second; dancing in their mouths like two strangers who had just been paired off in a Latin dance school: getting to know each other, exploring each other, learning each other's style, and finally settling into a rhythm that both felt most comfortable with… It was like learning tango, and in a few minutes both of them had gathered enough information about their partner's 'dancing style'. Artemis's was a bit awkward, a bit clumsy, Holly's a bit demanding; but with each caress of their lips, Artemis got more and more skilful while Holly forgot about playing the L.E.P. officer and let herself be nothing but a woman. No commander, no tough guy, just a girl in love.

When they finally broke apart, he looked into her hazel eyes with a surprisingly serious expression. "Listen, Holly… you have to know that I'm a bit… er… nervous."

"Yeah, I've noticed," she smirked. "If it helps at all, I'm nervous too. Does it help?"

"No," he admitted with a small, embarrassed laugh. "I just… want you to know that I might be sort of… clumsy. First time, no experience at all…"

She put her index finger on his lips to silence him. "I don't care," she whispered. Truth be told she did care, but why make him even more nervous and make sure he truly failed? Men regarded sexual failure as a disaster, after all. Therefore Holly decided to change tactic: put aside the gentle, emotional Holly Short, and let the L.E.P. officer prevail.

She pressed herself up to his chest, leaned so close that their nose-tips were touching and stared into his eyes. "Enough of the talk, Artemis. Shag me already, will you!?"

A typical vampire-smile appeared on his face. There. She had her Artemis back. And all it took was her acting like Captain/Commander Holly Short. Giving orders, and doing it in a manner that suggested 'I'm going to punch you if you don't do it RIGHT NOW!'

"An order's an order, Commander Short," he whispered, his eyes twinkling mischievously. There was still a spark of insecurity in them, but the trademark Fowl 'I know what I'm doing' manner had taken over; and if she hadn't known him so well, she would no longer have been able to notice that he was still slightly uncomfortable. To an outside observer he would have looked the epitome of self-confidence, but thankfully there were no outside observers around…

At one moment he was looking at her in a way that suggested he was undressing her with his eyes; in the next moment he was indeed undressing her.

His lips assaulted hers with such force that she felt as though a particularly violent magma-flare had smashed her shuttle to the wall of a chute, and in the next instant her whole being felt engulfed in lava… it was searing, burning her from inside… then suddenly she felt cold. Not too cold, but colder than a second before. Where had her top gone? She had no chance to look around for it, because one hungry male began nibbling at her left ear and held her in such a vice-like grip that she couldn't have moved had she wanted to. And well, she didn't really want to.

Artemis's lips wandered down her neck, his feather-like kisses giving her goose bumps and filling her stomach with a fluttery feeling; and the scanty top got completely forgotten.

He suddenly drew back, gasping for breath. Equally gasping for breath, Holly asked: "What?"

He didn't reply, just stared at her chest, grinning. Less than a week ago, by the waterfall, Commander Short could have killed him for the same grin. Now, however… she grinned back at him.

He took her grin as permission and cupped her breasts, gently stroking the already hardened nipples. With a sigh, she closed her eyes, letting pleasure take over her. One of his hands got soon replaced by his lips and she had to bite into her tongue not to shout 'oh D'arvit, don't stop!' His tongue drew circles around her nipple, and her wet skin exposed to the slightly cool air made her shiver. It was a shiver of cold and desire at once. Sensing her tremble, Artemis stopped devoting attention to her breasts and kissed her on the lips again, rubbing her back at the same time, perhaps in an attempt to warm her. She, however, did not need warming – she was on fire again. A pleasantly hot feeling had spread in her abdomen, fuelling her whole body with heat.

"We should've done this at the Arctic," she whispered absent-mindedly, "neither of us would have been cold…"

"Yes, and Root would have been scarred for life," Artemis replied and began fumbling with the zipper of Holly's too tight pair of trousers. As she felt him tugging at the zipper, she once again tumbled back into reality, and hyperventilating, opened her eyes to stare at him. A look of concern flashed across his face as she grabbed his hand and gently pushed it away. His face darkened even more, his elegantly shaped black eyebrows furrowed, and he was again chewing his lower lip. He looked so… so cute. Like a lost puppy dog… Holly couldn't help smirking at his confusion. Bad Holly, very bad Holly!

He averted his eyes, probably unable to stand her smirk, and his cheeks glowed redder than ever – both with embarrassment over their earlier activities and with confusion over having been stopped. He must have thought he had done something wrong.

Holly saw that he was on the verge of backing out. She already saw it in her mind's eyes: Artemis stepping back, smoothing his slightly ruffled Armani suit and politely opening the door for her. Oh the horror! She couldn't let that happen!

With a smile as kinky as she could muster – the first time in her life when she actually tried to muster a kinky smile –, she ran her index finger down his chest. "I'm half naked already, but you're still overdressed, that's unfair, don't you think?" With that she began loosening his tie. This, as it turned out, was a task much more difficult than piloting a shuttle up a chute or explaining Root why she had arrived late at work. The tie seemed to have a mind of its own and simply would not loosen. "D'arvit," she cursed, and as Artemis started to snicker, she got even angrier. "What's so funny, Mud Boy?"

"You. The most skilful female I have ever known, and unable to get rid of a tie. Here," he said, and loosened it with one swift move of his hand.

Amazing. I've really got to learn that! – she thought, but her amazement quickly turned to disappointment. Her mischievous plans of undressing Artemis were ruined. She had wanted to do it the way those funny romance novel heroines do, who slowly, sensuously pull the clothes off their lovers, running their nimble fingers down the men's tastefully hairy chest and rippling musclesYuck, no more romance novels for me! – Holly decided. With her plans ruined all she could do was watch as her lover quickly dropped his coat then unbuttoned his shirt, letting it join the coat on the floor.

There were no rippling muscles, but a lean and still well-toned body. No broad shoulders, barely any chest hair, but… Holly didn't miss it. She wasn't smitten with a monkey, after all!

She liked Artemis the way he was.

"Now we are even," she said with a grin of satisfaction. "You may continue with the zipper."

And he did. Her zipper was open in a second and Artemis was trying to pull her trousers down.

"It's stuck," he muttered after a few seconds of futile struggle. No wonder, the trousers were horribly tight and Holly's hips fairly round. It had been a wonder she had managed to put them on at all.

"Wait, perhaps if I…" she pointed at the bed. "You know, like pulling off boots…"

"Yes, that sounds sensible," he replied.

Holly dropped herself unceremoniously on the bed, and he pulled at her trousers. And pulled.

And pulled.

And pulled some more.

"Wait, I'll grab the bedpost," she suggested.

"Okay," Artemis panted. "Would you mind if I happened to rip it?"

"Not at all."

Holly grabbed the bedpost while he grabbed her trousers again, and yanked on it.

Holly had seen Artemis fall a few times before, but never like this. He staggered backwards a few steps and landed on his backside in a very undignified way.

Holly couldn't help it: laughter burst out of her with such force that she got pressed into the pillows, her whole body shaking, tears of laughter running down her cheeks.

"Very funny," he grunted, tossing her trousers aside, leaving Holly completely naked. The only thing she was still wearing was a thin chain around her neck with her copy of The Book as a pendant. As Artemis realised that his girlfriend was clad in nothing but 'The Book', his eyes widened to the size of saucers. The sun had long dived behind the horizon and the room was getting darker and darker by the second, but the bulging quality of his eyes (and something else inside his trousers) was still unmistakable.

"You're… you're not wearing… anything."

"Brilliant deduction," Holly giggled, knowing that he had expected her to wear knickers at least. "You know, I couldn't find Mud Woman-sized underwear…"

Numbly, he nodded. His eyes were still as big as saucers.

"Compared to me, you're overdressed again," she remarked with a toothy grin.

"Ah… y…yes, yes, I am," he agreed, his cheeks glowing redder than the setting sun had a few minutes ago. "Something that definitely needs to be changed." He straightened his back, and suddenly he was back to his old, confident self, even his flush had waned as though he had managed to force his bodily functions back under his control. With a few deliberate tugs, he got rid of the last pieces of his clothing.

Holy Frond.

Holly immediately stopped smiling, and – for a few seconds – breathing too. She simply forgot to breath. She knew it was now her whose eyes were as big as saucers, as their normal size would not have been big enough to take in all the sights.

That morning, with Artemis standing in the shower in her underground flat, came to her mind. The rippling glass hadn't fully shown all his 'details' but had given her a good enough idea about his size. Now she saw that it hadn't done him justice. Not in the least.

And… he definitely did not need any 'golden tube' to keep it upright.

Poor Fragrant Flower, she doesn't know what she's missing…

After long moments of silent admiration, an involuntary 'wow' slipped Holly's mouth. A few days ago she would have wanted to slam her head into something hard for such carelessness, but it did not matter now. He did deserve the 'wow'. Every bit of him deserved it. Well, particularly one bit of him did.

"Thanks," he replied with a smug smile. That was the smile of the Artemis she had got to know twelve years ago. Conceited, self-assured… typical Fowl. She found that this time she didn't care a bit if he was self-confident. After all the stuttering and blushing he had performed a few minutes ago, he needed all the self-confidence he could muster.

The smile… that look… She felt it was burning her. Although she was supposed to be drooling right now, she felt that her mouth had gone as dry as a parchment. She licked her lips. At this, Artemis's eyes flashed – no gentleness, no worry could be seen in them anymore. They were filled with desire.

"You deserve a 'wow' too, Miss Short. You know, I've always loved red-haired women…" He stared meaningfully at her lower regions, and Holly felt her cheeks burn. Her hair was indeed red, everywhere where she had any.

Now Artemis licked his lips and slowly approached the bed. Too slowly, in Holly's opinion.

"You are just as beautiful as you were in the lake," he said, and the slightly hoarse quality of his voice made Holly shiver with desire. Then his words sank in.

"What?" she gasped and sat up on the bed. "You saw me in the lake?"

Something like the shadow of shame flashed across his face, but he managed to keep his lopsided, confident smile. "I did," he shrugged.

"You perverted Mud Man," she tried to look deeply hurt, but failed miserably. Her lips threatened to tuck into a smile, and no matter how hard she fought with her facial muscles, they won over her will and she caught herself grinning madly at him.

"Perverted, am I?" he arched an eyebrow at her, taking place on the bed next to her. "And what about that little bathroom-voyeurism, dearest Commander?"

Holly found herself gaping like a fish. "You… you knew…?"

He reached out and cupped her chin, his lust-filled eyes deeply boring into hers. "Of course I did. It was pretty damn obvious… and quite flattering, actually. Just like that 'wow'…"

"Don't get all complacent, Mud Boy. Size doesn't matter."

"Says Yoda," Artemis grinned and inched closer. "But I know better."

"No, you don't…" she muttered and willed herself not to look at his lower regions, knowing that her statement would be confuted at once.

Their noses were almost touching again and she felt his warm breath on her cheeks.

"Yes, I do," he whispered, and, to close her mouth before she could say 'no, you don't' again, he pressed his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss, gentler than any she had ever received from him. Judging by the flame in his eyes, it must have taken him great effort to hold back now and instead of lunging at her like a jaguar on its prey (uh, bad example), he kissed her gently, slowly lowering her onto the pillow.

Getting horizontal felt nice, Holly decided. A warm, not too heavy body more or less covering hers, kisses showering on her cheeks, her neck, her nipples, a long-fingered hand kneading her breasts, her belly, travelling lower and lower until…

"Artemis!"

"Yes?" he murmured but did not stop caressing her… down there.

"N…nothing," she mumbled. As a response, he rubbed her. Not caressed, rubbed. Just at the right place. At a place that she hadn't even known existed. Perhaps, as fairy she didn't even have that part, but as a Mud Woman… "Heavens, don't stop," she groaned, her eyes closed, her head thrown back, almost flattening the unfortunate pillow. At that second she wouldn't have been surprised had the pillow burst, covering both of them with snow of soft white feathers.

All of a sudden, the fairy loved being a 'human'.

Dignified Commander Short was reduced to a moaning, writhing, begging-for-more Mud Woman. And she didn't mind it in the least.

Artemis's lips once again claimed hers, but his fingers never stopped their work, sending tidal waves of pleasure throughout Holly's body. The waves washed over her, heightened with every stroke and climaxed in a tsunami that would have been big enough to sink Atlantis, had had Atlantis not sunk already.

Panting, Holly opened her eyes, and the first things she saw were Artemis's eyes, radiating love and warmth down at her. Like a pair of blue stars shining in the dark sky.

She knew she must have looked a disaster: her hair was dishevelled and plastered to her temples and forehead, but Artemis swept a sweaty lock out of her face and said, "You are so beautiful."

Holly felt herself blush. "That was… that was incredible," she breathed. "How did you even know where to… where to…?"

He let out a small laugh. "I've read books about absolutely everything. Yes, even that. You know, just in case," he added with a wink. "It was like reading a book about programming. You just need to learn which buttons to push."

"Oh, lovely to be compared to a computer," she replied with a resentful edge to her voice.

"Yes, especially because you're way prettier than any computer…" he said, cupping her left breast again and running a thumb around the edge of the nipple. "And if I click on this," he gently pinched it, making Holly moan shamelessly, "…the program that runs is much, much more exciting than anything I could write in Java or C++…"

He loves metaphors, Holly thought, hoping beyond hope that he would keep 'clicking on her'. But the programmer's mind was set on something else entirely and in one swift move he shifted his body to position his 'plug' near her 'socket'. Judging by the size of the plug, Holly wasn't sure the socket would be wide enough to grant access and supply the 'computer' with electricity. And without electricity, no program would run.

Suddenly fear compressed her gullet and she instinctively closed her legs. Sorry Artemis, access denied.

Why had she done it? – Holly wondered. She was Commander (well, for the time being Civilian) Holly Short, fearless, spunky, and always ready for a good fight… and here she was, afraid of losing her virginity. Ridiculous. She had been curious about it ever since she entered puberty, and she had wanted it ever since she had set her eyes on grown, sexy, gorgeous – not to mention incredibly cute – Artemis Fowl. She had been waiting for this for almost two weeks now, dreaming about him over the nights, lusting after him at daytime… and she still chickened out.

D'arvit, D'arvit, D'arvit!

Sensing Artemis's discomfort and confusion, Holly muttered a 'Sorry' and looked away. She felt too ashamed to look him in the eye. The problem was that she was ashamed of feeling ashamed. She had not felt ashamed a bit when she writhed as he was manually pleasuring her, yet now she was afraid, and she felt ashamed of being afraid.

"Holly?" he whispered.

The girl bit into her lower lip and chanced a glance at him. His eyes were serious but amazingly calm. Any other aroused male would have looked annoyed and had been shaking with the suppressed, frustrated rage – but not Artemis. Despite his still obviously painfully throbbing erection, he looked serene and understanding. Heavens, did she love that man!

"Holly, if you don't want to, it's okay…"

She pressed her index finger on his lips. "I want it, Artemis. I'm just… I think I'm a bit… nervous." She allowed a sheepish grin to spread on her face. "Okay, okay, I admit I'm afraid. Happy now?"

He shook his head. "It would never make me happy to see you uncomfortable." He made a grimace. "True, I pretended to enjoy it on several occasions, but…" He reached out and gently caressed her face, "I never really did."

Holly knew that. All his attempts to annoy her at Haven and in the jungle had been to hide his true emotions – the same tactic she had used to hide hers. It was amazing how similar yet how different they were, she thought. Like day and night: two halves of something that couldn't exist without the other.

For a few seconds Artemis seemed to be thinking. Although he was no longer a genius, the look on his face was still that of a 'genius deep in thought'. Then a small smile replaced the contemplative expression. He shifted his position and was now lying next to Holly, then took her hand and guided it to his manhood. Clever. Introduce the concerned person to the subject of their worries. Knowledge reduces fear and helps acceptance. At least Holly remembered having learned something like that at the L.E.P Academy…

I'm holding Artemis in my hand, and I'm thinking of the L.E.P.?

She quickly banished all thoughts of the L.E.P., the People, Foaly, Root, Mulch and everything else, and concentrated on nothing but the 'task' at hand. In hand, to be correct. Gently, she ran her thumb along his length, eliciting a small moan from his lips. Encouraged, she repeated the stroke, only a bit more determinedly. Her reward was a deeper, guttural groan, and her eyes flicked from his lower regions to his face: his eyes were closed, his lips slightly open… he looked angelic. Innocent. Despite the circumstances, he still managed to look innocent. And so, so beautiful, Holly added in thought. My Arty. He's all mine. Exposed to my antics, exposed to my whims. And I'm his too.

Another thought crossed her mind and made her grin: a week ago in the jungle mosquitoes had bitten Artemis's most sensitive body-part, and when he teased her about healing him, she had replied: I'd never put my hand there! Not even if it were close to falling off and only my magic could keep it in place! And here she was now, very much putting her hand there.

She stroked him again, and his body jerked, instinctively thrusting into her palm. He wanted it so bad. She knew that he did. He could barely contain his desire, but for Holly's sake he tried. She couldn't let him suffer any longer.

"Artemis…"

He opened his eyes and squinted at her. She gave him a half-shy, half-brave smile. "I'm ready, Artemis."

Was she, really? If she wanted to be completely honest with herself, she was still scared, and despite her wild imagination, she still could not imagine how it would fit. Size bloody well did matter! Then again, she knew Artemis would never deliberately hurt her… he would be gentle with her.

Holly really didn't understand her feelings. She shouldn't have been afraid, not a bit.

Be a man, Holly Short! – she shouted at herself, and, giving Artemis a meaningful look, opened her legs.

He didn't need to be told twice. His fingers immediately delved between her thighs and then… into her. It felt different from when he'd been rubbing her. He had rubbed her at a different spot. But now, his middle finger was inside her. It explored her, thrust into her, and she felt dripping wet. She couldn't have been wetter, had she been late in pitching camp when it started to rain in the jungle… Oh, how nice it had been for Holly to sleep in Artemis's arms while rain was rattling on the canopy of their tent! She had felt nice back then… but now she felt wonderful.

"Yes," Artemis whispered, his breath warm on her cheek, "you're indeed ready. Er… is it okay if I'm on top, or…?"

"It's perfectly okay," Holly answered, sensing a bit of insecurity in his voice again. She didn't want him to be nervous again, she was nervous enough for both of them. She reached out and wound her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. This particular gesture must have been encouraging enough, as he quickly shifted from his side and positioned himself between her thighs. Holly's legs were slightly shaking, and she was hoping he would not notice. She didn't want him to back out now, out of worry for her.

But nothing eluded Artemis Fowl's attention: he did notice her trepidation. "Holly…" he whispered, gently kissing her lips. "I love you."

"I kn…" the elf tried to reply, but her reply stuck in her throat as he thrust into her. It could be called anything but gentle. D'arvit, that hurt. Holly instinctively dug her fingernails into his back, knowing that there would be some nasty little wounds later. Problem was that very likely she no longer had the ability to heal them… or did she?

"Are you all right?" he breathed with a worried and pained expression (the latter must have been due to Holly's fingernails).

Mutely, she nodded. Pain was subsiding, and she knew he hadn't wanted to be rude; he had only wanted to be quick. And perhaps it was better this way – it was over, and Holly barely felt any discomfort anymore…

Suddenly Artemis's body twitched. But not the way it was supposed to 'twitch'. It was not a thrusting-sort-of-twitching. "What… what's this?" he muttered, and she would have sworn he was on the verge of letting out a chuckle. "It… it ti… tickles…"

"Oh, that," she couldn't hold back a smirk. "My magic. It's healing the wound."

"Healing the…?" Artemis mumbled and shifted slightly again. "You mean the… blue sparks? Healing you… in there?"

"It seems so," Holly nodded, feeling slightly puzzled. Apparently she still had her magic powers, even though she was in the body of a Mud Woman. Now at least she knew she would be able to heal Artemis's wounds caused by her fingernails. That was good news. For some reason she had grown to love healing him.

For a few seconds Holly's fairy magic continued to generate little sparks that circled around the 'injured area', and she could feel herself healing. However, she couldn't fully enjoy the healing process, for Artemis suddenly did the last thing she had ever expected him to do: he burst out laughing. His whole body shook and he pulled partly out. The last person Holly had seen like that had been Grub Kelp when a pair of stink worms had accidentally slipped into his L.E.P. uniform making him twitch, guffaw and try to get rid of the horrible, tickling little beasts.

Truth be told, she had never expected her first time to end up in a comedy with her partner laughing his head off. She should have been disappointed at the unromantic quality of the situation, but thankfully she managed to see the humorous side of it. Artemis's most sensitive body-part was being tickled, inside her. If that wasn't hilarious, then nothing was.

So, what could she do? She joined in the laughing. Seconds passed, the sparks had long ceased to attack poor Artemis, but they were still chuckling, Artemis's face buried into Holly's neck, his shoulders shaking with laughter. Neither of them knew how long it had lasted; it might easily have been minutes, but finally both of them managed to fight down the urge to laugh and stared at each other, panting. Holly could barely see Artemis anymore, as the room had gone dark, but she did see a unique light in his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes looked almost black now, but somehow they still seemed alight… with desire. A need to move.

She nodded, giving him the permission and encouragement, and he thrust back into her, hard.

"Holy centaurs!" Holly yelped. That was good. Not a bit of pain, only pleasure… and a feeling of being complete.

Artemis stopped. "Centaurs?" he asked in a tone that suggested he couldn't decide whether to scowl or laugh again. "Please, no mention of Foaly now. Especially not Mulch. The mere thought of them would give anyone potency problems."

"Artemis," she said in a resentful tone, "that was just a fairy saying. And don't you dare have potency problems when we're in the middle of having mad, passionate sex!"

"I'll try my best, madam," he replied, and his voice suggested he was smirking, even though she couldn't see it. And he did try his best. And not only tried. He surpassed her wildest dreams.

At that moment the idea of Artemis being bad at physical exercises seemed ridiculous. He felt so strong. So full of energy. From 'Artemis, the Impotent God' he had turned into 'Artemis, God of Potency'.

Holly had no idea how he did it (maybe he had magic or divine powers that she was unaware of), but with each thrust he managed to hit a point inside her that made her see stars – in the good sense of the word. Blue, red and green stars sparkled behind her closed eyelids and she would have sworn she heard them shooting through the canopy of the four-poster. This was heaven on earth, no doubt. Muscles contracted inside her – muscles that she hadn't even known existed, and Artemis groaned with pleasure. "Do that again," he begged, and Holly, though somewhat unsure what she was doing, squeezed him once more.

"Hoooolly," he moaned her name, and burying his face into Holly's neck, increased the pace to such extent that the fairy thought that either the bed would collapse under them or anyone trying to rest in the room below would come up shouting and demanding that they stopped whatever they were doing… However, Holly didn't think she would have stopped – no power on earth would have got her to stop squirming to meet Artemis's every thrust, squeezing him as hard as she could and scratching his back until it started to bleed… No, there was no power that could have stopped her.

The stars flashing before her eyes increased their pace as Artemis did, clashed with each other like their bodies did, and exploded in colourful fireworks paired with something that felt like flying into a magma flare.

"Artemiiiis!"

"Y…yes?" he muttered, propping himself on his lower arms and staring down at her. His lips were very close; she felt his warm, ragged breath on her face.

Holly blinked, trying to figure out why he had asked 'yes?', and then it dawned on her that she must have screamed his name. Hmm… so, Commander-currently-Civilian Holly Short was a screamer. Shame on me, she thought, grinning. But funnily she felt no shame. All she felt was a pleasant exhaustion and complete contentment. Very likely her so-far-unknown and unused muscles would ache a bit for a while, but she had no doubt that her magic would take care of it.

"Nothing," she replied to him. "I just like your name."

"Indeed?" he asked dubiously. "Don't you mind it's a girl's name?"

"Not if its owner proves he's a real man, and you have proved me… in every respect," she whispered back, gently running a finger down his back.

"Ouch!" he hissed, and pulling out of her, sat up. "What have you done to me?" he asked in a pained voice. "My whole back burns!"

"A real man indeed…" Holly rolled her eyes. "Lie down on your stomach and I'll heal you."

Truth be told she had imagined post-coital bliss to be a thousand times more romantic, but with Artemis Fowl as her lover, she couldn't expect much romance, could she? He would never go mushy, never would present her with red roses or take her to a ball and drop to his knees to propose…

Propose? Hmm… what I am I thinking? Isn't that a bit early?

Artemis obediently rolled onto his stomach and Holly let magic flow from her fingertips. The blue sparks dancing on his back lulled her into a half-dreaming state, and she caught herself imagining an alley decorated with peach-coloured flowers, and at the end stood He, amazingly handsome in a black tux… tux-whatsis (I definitely need to learn the proper names of Mud Man clothes, she decided), and he was smiling… waiting for her.

"Mmmm… that feels good," he murmured, shaking Holly out of her reverie. He was fully healed and rolled back onto his back. "Come." With that he pulled her down next to him, put an arm around her and said the most romantic thing Holly had ever heard and would possibly ever hear from him, "You know, I think there must be a God somewhere. A great, gracious one… otherwise this couldn't have happened. God knows I don't deserve you, and for some mysterious reason you still love me… now I'm a believer."

Too touched, she didn't know what to reply, so she just kissed him gently on the lips, then nestled herself into his arms and listened to the beating of his heart. It was calming, rhythmical… just like his breathing. She knew he had fallen asleep.

Typical man: one moment he makes passionate love to you, the next moment he is fast asleep.

So here she was, in the arms of a Mud Man who was still regarded as a possible enemy to the People, not to mention seventy years younger than her… but a Mud Man who loved her. And nothing else mattered.

Holly felt tired, but somehow couldn't fall asleep – the situation was simply too overwhelming. She had just had mind-blowing sex with the man she had loved since… since… he was thirteen? She didn't know. The point was that she was in love, satisfied, and happy. She wished she would never forget anything of what had happened between her and Artemis tonight. Perhaps I should write a diary. Holly Short's Diary – how does that sound? Like that Bridget Jones… I've found my 'Mark Darcy', the sexiest male on earth… not a big lawyer, sometimes a big liar, but… he's mine.

Yeah, she grinned to herself, I think I should write everything down so that I'll remember every little detail of this night; even when I'm a thousand years old and grey and my great-grandchildren are playing around me…

Great-grandchildren? Holly blinked, surprised that this word had popped into her mind, and even more surprised that it felt so natural to be thinking of such things. Yeah, why not? Patrick's descendants… and descendants of the child that we've conceived tonight or will conceive in the near future... Because somehow she had a feeling that if Artemis and she continue like this, she was going to get pregnant sooner than she could say LEPRecon…

And, smiling to herself, she thought that she wouldn't mind if the second entry in her diary would be one single word: 'LEPRecon'.

THE END

A/N: …and well, those who have read The Sword of God, know well enough that Holly got pregnant very quickly, perhaps on this very night. :)

Reviews would be much appreciated.