I know it's late but since my muse has been feeling better lately I still had to write it. It's a Prowl and Jazz Valentine's Day short story. It will only be two or three chapters. So please enjoy. Planing on it being fluff but could be much more if persuaded. ;)
There comes a time in a mech's life when his priorities change. What once was important at one point is now cast aside for something more valuable to the spark.
For me my priorities haven't exactly changed per say. I'll never stop being Optimus Prime's second in command. My processor will never let me stop calculating and coming up with defense strategies for the Autobots. It is my honor to serve my Prime and perform my duties to the best of my abilities.
I am however hoping to add one thing to my life to give it more meaning…to make me…complete.
Yes, despite what several of my fellow Autobots think of me (mainly the younger ones who don't know me as well as they believe), I do have a spark and I do get lonely and have needs just like every other mechanism on the base. While I am driven by my beliefs and duty as an Autobot there are things in life I desire.
But I'm also habitually a very private mech. I keep things…feelings to myself. Have done so since I was a small youngling. I'm also the second in command which means I need to project an aura of stoicism and need to keep a professional distance from many of my fellow Autobots knowing that the decisions I make could possibly send mechs to their death. Decisions I cannot make if I'm too emotionally involved.
Hence the reason why many of the younger mechs who joined when I was already at a high ranking officer call me a sparkless fragger when they think I can't hear them.
I'm ok with that even though they are wrong. I do care about them and it pains me each time we lose a mech or femme. I do take things to spark as passionately as Optimus or Jazz or Ironhide or even Ratchet. However, I understand why they think that way at times. And even though I come off as a sparkless mech they do respect me as many of my decisions or even actions have saved their lives as well.
Besides, it's not like I don't have friends. Optimus Prime's elite officers are all my good friends. Jazz and Prime being my closest since we went through the academy and graduated together. I've often confided in them during those days when my emotional well being was at a low. I could always count on them to lift my spirits.
That mech has some kind of sixth sense when it comes to intuitively knowing when a mechanism is in need of a good laugh to feel better or in need of getting totally inebriated from high grade to drown their sorrows. He never fails to just drop into my office to give me a break, bring me some energon, or make me laugh so hard my armor seams feel like they're about to pop. And he's always been there when my spark aches after losing a fellow Autobot.
Then somewhere a long the line, I'm still not sure exactly when it happened, I started really looking forward to seeing Jazz in my office or in my quarters for a strategy game. I even missed him if a day had gone by without his presence being in the same room with me in some fashion. Somewhere along the way I fell in love with my best friend.
Of course I've told him none of this. For one, we're at war. Second, I don't want to ruin our friendship over some infatuation I might have with him. So, I've learned to just accept him as my friend and kept our relationship in that capacity. My duty as Prime's second in command makes it easier as it gives me something to focus on. I would be the first to admit it that I'm bonded to my work.
I've noticed that as the war progressed and we rose through the ranks that Jazz too has been bonded to his job of Head of Operations and Third in Command. He still has his flings from time to time. He was well known for his interfacing prowess even at the academy and was heavily sought after by mechs and femmes. As for how many he actually interfaced with I'll never know. I just know that Jazz loves that kind of attention. But now that he's the third in command he's no where near as promiscuous. He even confessed to me that he actually only interfaces after an overly strenuous mission or when a mission fails which for Jazz are both rare.
However, times change and mechanisms change. This war is never ending. We're on a strange new planet now. And there are so few of us left. Jazz and I had a long talk about how we've lost sight of what we're fighting for - a chance of peace and happiness.
We both agreed that perhaps despite this war we cannot and should not forget to live.
The image of his optics flaring brightly when he stared at me and said this is still vivid in my processor. Jazz rarely ever took his visor off to reveal his emotionally charged deep cobalt optics to anyone. I felt honored. My spark quickened at the look he gave me. I wasn't sure then and I'm still not completely certain now if I was simply seeing what I wanted to see.
Was he implying that we could have some happiness together? Or was he implying that I need to get off my aft and find a mech or femme for myself?
We both know I'm not the best mech for flirting or relaying my feelings to another bot. I'm exceedingly private and its been far too long since I even dated a mech or femme. Another reason why I have not spoken of my feelings to Jazz. I didn't know how to tell him.
Plus, he never made a move or gave any indication that he was attracted to me in any way. At least I haven't noticed any subtle hints. I'm not blind or as oblivious as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe think I am when it comes to a mech or femmes flirtations. I do notice them. They're just usually not directed at me.
And so for the past few months I fretted over my situation in between the skirmishes with the Decepticons and the repairs to human properties. At my wits end and on the verge of locking up, I finally broke down and confessed everything to Optimus. He is wise beyond his years and I had hoped he'd be able to give me some advice.
Alas it is because of Optimus that I am standing here now in Jazz's quarters with a datapad in my hand on what the humans call Valentine's Day. Not only is it a celebration of love and fertility. It is also a day when you can reveal your love for someone through gifts, song, or even words. A day where you can dare to love and hope that love is returned.
I felt nervous and anxious. Not for hacking Jazz's door lock but for the words I wrote and more importantly, how he'll respond to them.
Will he laugh when he finds and reads this?
Will this be the end of our friendship?
What if he already found someone to love?
What if he really does love me in return?
Or am I simply a fool in love?
Optimus seemed supremely confident about the outcome. Throwing caution to the wind, I set the datapad down on Jazz's recharge berth knowing he would lay here first while listening to some music once he returns from his predawn patrol with the twins. I was supposed to ensure they followed through with their punishment but asked Jazz to take my place, claiming I had a back log of reports because of their latest prank. Jazz being the best friend he was took my place no questions asked thus giving me this moment to sneak into his quarters.
Before I had a change of spark, I turned on my heel and quickly strode out of Jazz's quarters re-engaging the door lock. My spark fluttered like mad in its chamber as I made my way to my office to start my shift. Normally, I'm a very calm and patient mech. I do not get riled up and can wait an exceedingly long time.
That is not the case today.
Logically, I shouldn't be so nervous. After all if that paranoid glitch Red Alert can find some bot to love him then my chances of succeeding with Jazz had to be at least sixty-nine point ninety-nine percent or higher.
And despite my waning confidence, I was comfortable with that percentage.
Up next: Jazz returns to the Ark O.O