An eye is left to continuously bounce back and forth, seeking the image of someone who its owner wants to watch closer.
Haruhi watches him.
She, the leader of this outfit of individuals by choice, nay theirs, has left upon them a series of rules. They must be absolutely loyal, they must always be there, and it is them above all else.
She has woven herself an unwanted textile.
As she watches Kyon from a distance, she realizes his power over them. All that has to happen is the magic lines.
I love you, I want to be with you.
(Such is the nature of lines like these, that one becomes a fool. She would prefer it left unsaid on some level, and rather transmit this purely by way of the mind.)
Would it get through to him in transmission?
She doesn't know. And as part of a larger problem, she is upset.
She has her situation set up a certain way: as the brigade interacts, she notices she is disconnected. She gets the same style of interaction from all of them.
The Mascot is a toy. She says meaningless toy things
The Vice-president of the SOS is a yesman. He says meaningless yesman things.
The Silent Bookworm is an extra. She says meaningless extra things.
Of course not all the time, but still its not that what they say is the problem, its who they're saying it to. She only hears from them their meaningless words. All the ones of meaning go to...
She has sat there in her seat for quite a long time. And in that time, she has seen him come closer and closer to usurping her power. Or shes lost it already and doesn't know it.
...And everyone else is in on it.
She has been suspicious for a long time of this. His eyes may lean toward her, and they come into her realm, but they only touch upon her as if she was a threat, or at best a challenge. What else could she expect? Is this person meant to be more of something? Or was all the secrets that she could learn whisked away in the night?
Cause all she sees of him is a husk, the shell of what might have been greatness.
And yet he's the one ahold of everything, she believes.
She also sees what appears as a vague message in the back of her head, the subtle impression that she had met this creature more than the times shes supposed to have seen him.
Set that thought aside.
It was far more important to ask a meaningful question, one that would unlock the enigma for her. It was important that she do her best with just the right statement. She couldn't ask how was your day. She couldn't ask if you know him. She couldn't ask about these unsaid feelings. Some questions revealed too much. Then she thought of herself, her brigade, and her dreams and merged these things into an all summing thought.
Thats when she figured out what she wanted.
Her gaze continues to bear down, and she wants to have this question answered. However, if she speaks too much, she will reveal her intentions. She will have to do what is necessary.
It's time. Time to ask...
"Kyon, I have to ask....."
"Would you pair up with me next time?"
I've been reading these one-shots lately that R. Controversy and Superstarultra have been putting up, "Acceptance" and "Cycles". This fic is inspired by those and a song by Joy Division, "Transmission." Less the songs meaning and rather the feeling was what did it for me.
My goal here was to put haruhi outside her typical characterization without separating who she is in canon from what is laid down here and do it naturally. Of course, it seems that this is disjointed for a fic, and thats cause I chopped off a portion that went nowhere and gave it a better summing up, and that slowed me down.