Stimulus: captainally's review (it was too hilarious to ignore)

Spoilers: None

POV: Ianto

Dedication: To adipose man... also Mark, father of my future children ;)

-x-

"Ianto."

"Yes, Jack?"

"Hold it."

"Not now, Jack."

"Please?"

"I'm busy, Jack."

"Iantooooo... please hold it."

"No!"

"I'll feed Janet for a week."

"No, you won't."

"I will. I promise."

"Fine! Fine!"

"That wasn't so difficult, was it?"

"You're so - ugh! What's THAT? What's it doing?"

"Calm down! It's supposed to do that! ...I think..."

"What the HELL is this stuff? God, this is disgusting!"

"I'm - it's never done that before! Ianto! Ianto, come back! Ianto?"

That, thought Ianto as he marched off to wash his hands, was the last time he agreed to touch Jack's adipose.