DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters featured in the film "Kiss kiss Bang bang". This whole story is from Perry's POV.

Hello. Most of you may have seen "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang". If you haven't, it's obvious that you have no idea who I am or what I've been through last Christmas. Fine, that's fine. I guess you're just another one of those people who like to watch prequels before seeing the original movie, so you fully understand the character's background so you'll know a character's motives and you won't be surprised when you do eventually find the time to go to the video store to rent the original for the night.

In that case, introductions may be necessary. My full and legal name is Peregrine Van Shrike. Never call me Peregrine. You do and I'll make sure that you lose your ability to see, hear, walk, or talk eternally confining you to a wheelchair…I'm serious. I prefer Perry. Gay Perry.

To get another thing cleared up…yes, I am gay.

This story is more for those who have seen my movie and didn't get enough information about me. I like to keep most of that stuff classified, but I figure I can tell you maybe a thing or two. For those of you who want to save the movie for later…I guess it's alright.

The question really, is where should I start my not-so-happy tale. Hmm…I'll give you the basics. I was born December 31, 1966 with bright blonde hair and deep blue eyes, 7 lbs and 8 ounces to a simple couple living in Los Angeles, William and Martha Van Shrike. Actually, I wasn't supposed to be born, but hey that's what happens when you drink and party too hard with all of your horny friends without your underwear.

Where was I? Right. My father was a film critic. He was already in the Hollywood business. He was a great asset to the company seeing as he's always so passionate about everything and his opinion, to him was the most important. That could be one of the reasons why he hit all the time. To him, I was always wrong. Then again, it's not like he liked me much anyways. My mother on the other hand, was a former Hollywood actress. Sort of. She says she was a top Hollywood actress. She was the female lead in several films throughout the fifties. Movies such as, "Love Comes Short", "Love Comes Short 2", "Something to Remember", "Busty Babes", and the ever popular, "Blonde Babe Goes Down".

Don't know those titles? You may find these "scandalous" films on the back shelves of the adult video store a few blocks away from your apartment. You know, the one that you pretend isn't there, but when no one's looking, you take a peek inside? Yeah, my mom is a former pornstar. I am so proud.

Anyway, I never cared what she used to do. She never hit me and she loved me to death. In fact, when I came out to her, she hugged me and cried tears of joy that I was open and honest with her. That and I think that she wanted to have given birth to a girl…wish granted. It did get annoying when I went out with my guy friends and she asked me aloud if I wanted any condoms before I walked out the door. Then again, I didn't have many friends. Oh, did I forget to mention that she was one of the many reasons that I had no friends? Dear old mom.

However, I did have one special guy in my life…no not Harry! Before that. Long before that. I'm talking about back in the seventies when I was about six years old. I met Jacob Hensing.

We met the third day of first grade when we were working on our separate art projects. He usually sat on the other side of the classroom and he never talked much. I had nearly finished my drawing and I was going to glue some glitter to the paper. Of course, the glitter was on the other side of the room on a small shelf. So I got up to get the glitter and I saw this dark haired boy with his head in his arms on his desk. I gently touched him on the shoulder startling him and quickly wiping away at his eyes. It was pretty obvious that he had been crying.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Nothing." He replied trying to get me to leave him alone.

"You were crying." I insisted. "Tell me. I won't make fun."

"Well." He sniffed. He picked up his paper and shoved it at me. I looked it over not quite sure what was wrong with his drawing of him and his dad. "Go ahead! Tell me it's no good!" he yelled. I just smiled.

"I think it's really good. What's wrong with it?"

"Katie says that army men don't wear the color blue!" he explained. Katie was just some girl he sat next to.

"So?" I didn't know what army men wore at all. I liked to picture them as big buff men wearing nothing but baggy green pants carrying huge guns and extra ammo strapped across their chests. Hell, I still like to picture them that way!

"I colored his uniform blue because in this picture I have he's wearing blue! It's not green, but Katie says I'm stupid!" he yelled. I looked at his picture again and thought of my picture.

"Can I show you my picture?" I asked running back to my desk and showing him my drawing. He laughed at my picture of me, but instead of drawing my mom or dad, it was a picture of me riding a unicorn. It should've been obvious back then that I would be forever gay.

"It is pretty good. I can't draw animals." He replied.

"My name is Perry. What's your's?" I asked sweetly.

"Jacob." He replied.

"Let's be friends, 'kay?" I suggested.

"Okay." Jacob said his light green eyes sparkled.

So, that gets that part of the story out of the way. Anyway, Jacob and I hung out all the time and watched TV and played all sorts of games of pretend together. One of our favorite scenarios we enjoyed was any that involved solving crime and chasing down the culprit. In fact, we both promised each other that we would be detective partners or maybe get jobs in the FBI.

Let me tell you more about Jacob, so you're on the same page with me. He was completely okay with me being gay when I told him…turns out that he was bisexual. He had dark brown hair and lovely green eyes and he was always slightly taller than me. His mother was an accountant and his father was in the army, meaning he was never really home. When I met him, we were both about six years old. The last time his dad was home was when he was three. I just remember back in seventh grade one day when he didn't show up for school. Thinking he may be sick, after school I went over to his house. When his mom opened the door, she had tear stains on his face. A small amount of panic shot through me thinking Jacob had been hurt.

She told me that he was back in his room. I walked in and went to his room to find him slumped over his desk crying.

"Jake?" I asked. "What's going on?" He simply handed me a piece of paper. It was a letter from the army. His father had been killed. He looked back at him in shock. "Jake, I'm so sorry." He turned to me and hugged me tight as he sobbed on my shoulder.

"Thanks, Perry." He managed to say. "I just need someone right now."

"I'm here, Jake. Anything you need, I'm here." I insured rubbing his back. Suddenly, he grabbed my face and kissed me. My first kiss. My first, real kiss. With my best friend. At first I was shocked, but after several seconds, my eyes closed and I held him tight. We eventually broke away and we were both smiling. His face was bright red, as I'm sure mine was too. Since then, we had been together as a couple and we weren't afraid if people knew. When I told my parents, my dad starting hitting me more and my mom was already planning a wedding. Ugh, my mom.

So now, I'm going to summarize a huge chunk right now. We went through the rest of middle school and got halfway through high school together. We always had the same teachers and our class schedules always matched. However, that was probably not a good thing in the end.

I'll never forget this day, Saturday , December 18, 1982. It was two weeks to my birthday and only one until Christmas. Jacob's mom was out of town on a business trip and Jacob invited me over to spend the night at his house as an early Birthday/Christmas party. It was just us. We watched our favorite movie, "Love Story" starring Ryan O' Neal whom both Jacob and I wanted in bed, gay or straight. After the movie, Jacob got out a box of chocolate cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles and the cupcake in the middle had a lit candle stuck in it.

"Only one candle, Jake? I thought I was turning 16?" I asked stupidly.

Jacob laughed. "I know, dufus. But I figured you wanted to make a wish and have a one hundred percent chance of blowing out the candles." He replied. "That way it'll come true." I smiled and he gave me a quick kiss. "Well, go ahead, make a wish!"

I shut my eyes and thought about what I wanted and blew out the single candle. He clapped and cheered unenthusiastically.

"Want to know what I wished for?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He began to protest if you say what it is it won't come true, but I shushed him. "I need to tell you for it to come true." He looked confused at first, but then I whispered I in his ear, "I want you to love me forever."

He smiled and we rubbed noses before we really started kissing. He pealed off my shirt as I got rid of his and our pants and boxers quickly followed. We fell over so that he was on top of me. He asked me if I really wanted it and I nodded and kissed him passionately. He stuck several of his fingers in his mouth coating them thickly with saliva. I gasped and moaned at his gentle touch on my stomach as he prepared me with his slicked fingers. Sure it hurt, but it was a good hurt. I was in total bliss as I'm sure he was, too.

After stretching me out, before he could spit into his hand to harden himself, I stopped him and took him in my hand. At first, he was a little hesitant, but I looked at him with my big blue eyes and he soon let me continue. I guided him into my mouth and began going up and down. He got a grab on my hair and moaned as my tongue got to work on slicking him up. I stopped before I went too far and I lay down on my back once more. He positioned himself right above me between my legs.

We looked deeply into each others' eyes and we knew that this was right. He put his head by mine and I got a hold of his back to brace myself. Slowly, he inserted himself making me gasp loudly. Slowly, but surely he spend up and before long, he reached orgasm and we were both covered in sweat and his back was covered in scratches.

We kissed and laid there naked in each others' arms.

"I love you, Jake." I whispered, kissing him on the cheek.

"I love you, too, Perr bear. I'll love you forever." I giggled and we kissed one more time before falling asleep. For the record, I loved being called "Perr bear"…yeah, it's dumb.

Yes, folks, we had sex on Jacob's living room rug. It would be the first and last time that Perry Van Shrike would bottom to anyone.

Sunday morning, my mom picked me up and took me home. Somehow she knew that we had done it and I'm glad that she didn't say anything. All she had to do was smile really big at me. I guess that meant she was happy that I was happy. I most definitely was happy.

Monday morning, school, but because it was close to Christmas, we didn't have school after Wednesday and for the following three weeks. It was December 20th, seventh period American History and there were fifteen minutes left until the bell rang. Everyone was working on homework and a note landed on my desk. It was passed down from Jacob at the other end of the row of desks. I opened it discretely.

'After class want to go to Pizza Palace and watch Love Story, again?' the note said. I smiled and wrote,

'Hell yes!' I passed it back down to him only to have it returned to me again. He wrote,

'I love you.' I wrote on the note again, but it didn't get back to him.

"Mr. Van Shrike!" Ms. Bridges called as I tried to pass my note. "Are you passing notes?" This is when I should've lied. I should've said no and I would've gotten away with it, but was so damn excited.

"Yes, ma'am. Yes, I am. Shall I read it?" I asked. And I shouldn't have suggested that, but again, I was excited about spending time with Jacob after school.

"As long as it's appropriate." She said. I got up out of my seat and already people were snickering at me. I cleared my throat.

"Well, Mr. Hensing wrote, 'After class, do you want to go to Pizza Palace and watch Love Story, again?' I said 'Hell yes' he said, 'I love you' and I was about to reply, 'I love you, too.'" By this point in my life everyone I knew was alright with me being gay and everyone knew about me and Jacob…or so I thought.

Suddenly, a kid in the back row by the name of Craig Peiffer stood up.

"Alright. I'll need everyone to be quiet!" He stupidly shouted as he pulled out his dad's Colt XM9 and pointed it directly at me. "Everyone sit against that wall. You, too, Ms. Bridges." He said now pointing the gun their direction. "Everyone against the wall except for you two faggots."

I really thought that I was going to die that day, the way he was pointing that gun at me.

"I'm saving this bullet just for you, Perry. You don't know how long I've wanted to do this." He said putting the cold barrel against my temple. I shut my eyes tight waiting for him to just get it over with.

"No!" Jacob intervened. "Please! Don't kill him! If one of us has to die…kill me."

"Jake, no." I pleaded, tears welling up in my eyes. Craig smirked.

"Alright. I'm flexible. Get on your knees, Hensing." Jacob dropped to his knees and never took his eyes off of me. I just stood there hoping that this was just some kind of sick joke.

"Jake." I whispered sadly. Craig positioned the gun right between those beautiful tearing eyes. "I love you."

"I'll love you forever." He replied, a single tear rolling down his face. And with that, a loud bang followed by a thud, his blood splattered on my face. After that, it's as is someone pressed the mute button. Obviously, everyone was panicking around me as I held Jacob's head in my arms.

"Jake. Jacob. Please, don't leave me. Please." I begged as blood ran down his face. "God, please let this be a nightmare! Wake me up. Wake me up, please, God!" A yelled as tears ran down my face. Suddenly, the police broke in and took Craig into custody. I suppose that when he yelled, the teacher next door called the cops. The only thing that tore me up was when two cops tried to take Jacob's body off to the nurse's office.

"NO!" I screamed refusing to let go of him. "You can't take him!" They picked him up and left the room leaving me crying on all fours. The classroom had cleared out and I sat alone on the floor sobbing. Finally, Ms. Bridges touched my shoulder and helped me onto my feet.

"Perry. They have him in the nurse's office. You're welcome to come see him if you'd like." She said. I simply nodded and walked to the nurses' office where my mom was waiting to take me home.

"He's in there, sweetie." My mom said sadly. I quietly walked in to the sight of my true love dead tucked in bed, his mother sobbing hard beside her son and holding his lifeless hand.

"Mrs. Hensing?" I said softly.

"Perry." She said, motioning me over. I kneeled down beside the bed wiping my face free of the remaining blood splatter.

"Jacob." I said taking the hand that his mom was just holding. "I'll love you forever." I whispered, kissing his cold lips softly. Right then, I desperately wished that this was just a fairytale and that he would wake up, perfectly fine, the bullet wound healed over, we would get married and live happily ever after. This was not a fairytale and he did not wake up.

I simply stood up and took my leave. I went to the Pizza Palace anyway and had a strawberry milkshake, extra whipped cream…and two straws.

I went home later and bawled my eyes out as I watched "Love Story".

My heart was literally broken. I could feel the pieces slowly falling away. For the next couple of weeks, I hardly ate anything and I cried myself to sleep every night. I went to the funeral and I spoke on his behalf. I told the truth of how he and I were so in love and that we promised that we would love each other forever. Saying that made his mother cry even harder. Everyone was in tears even if they were against homosexual relationships. It didn't matter. It was true love that was forever destroyed…forever put to rest.

After they buried him, I went home, packed my car with my stuff and left.

Well, obviously, my mom and I still kept in touch and I found love later, his name was Connor. I met him when I was 23. As fate would have it, he died of cancer. Then for another eight years later, love found me again with Erik. I was doing the detective work I had promised Jacob I would do. I had never forgotten that promise. Again, Erik was shot three times in the back. He died in my arms.

Now, another eight years later, I'm with Harry Lockheart. He maybe a dumbass, but he reminds me a lot of me when I was with Jacob, so young, so…stupid. Nonetheless, I love him almost as much as I loved Jacob so many years ago.