AN: This is just my thoughts at what might have been going through Dean's head during the final scenes of "My Bloody Valentine" That was a heartbreaking scene and I felt so much for Dean in that moment. Enjoy!

Discliamer: I do not own Dean or any of the other characters associated with Supernatural!


"Help...help! Dean, Cas if you're out there. Please...help!"

Dean leaned against the wall outside the Bobby's panic room. He clenched his eyes shut against Sam's distressed calls. Oh, Sammy. Dean had to fight the urge to go to Sam. The sound of his little brother's pants and heavy sighs of pain left Dean angry and with a sense that he had failed. As far back as he could remember, his only job in life was Sam. Take care of Sam, watch out for Sam, protect Sam. Where was he when Sam was falling apart?

Dean sighed angrily. Damn it! Why? Why the Hell did it have to be famine? Why did that son of a bitch have to go for Sam? Dean slowly brought his beer bottle up in an attempt to calm himself down.

"Dean, help me!"

Dean felt a burning sensation beginning behind his eyes. Was he really just supposed to stand here? Sam was screaming for him to help him and he was just standing here! What kind of big brother was he? Dean furiously blinked back the tears he could feel building in his eyes. He wasn't going to cry, not now.

"That's not him in there. Not really."

Dean clenched his eyes shut again. Not him...yah. It was Sam's yells of pain. Sam calling out for Dean to help him. It was Sam who was tied down in there and Sam who was in pain. Demon blood or no demon blood. It was his little brother in there. And he wasn't doing a thing to help him. Cas doesn't know. He doesn't understand what it means to be a brother. Sam may be under the influence of the demon blood but he was still in pain. He still needed Dean...

"I know." Dean said instead.

"Dean, Sam just needs to get it out of his system. Then he'll be - "

Dean distantly heard Castiel's words of comfort but they were drowned out by Sam's cry of anguish. Dean didn't want to hear what Cas had to say. He didn't want to be comforted. Not when he was leaving his little brother to suffer alone.

"It's alright. Just, uh - "

Dean heard a particularly loud cry coming from Sam. "Please..." Sam dragged out.

"I just need to get some air." Dean finished and turned to walk away. The last thing he heard as he walked up the stairs was Sam crying out. Crying out for him. And he just walked away.

Xx

Dean tilted his head up toward the dark night sky. He shook his head and finally let the tears he had been holding back fall. His lip quivered.

"Please." He whispered.

Dean didn't know what exactly he was asking for or who he was asking for it. All he knew was that he couldn't do it alone. Whatever it was. He couldn't protect Sammy. And he couldn't stop the apocolypse. He couldn't do any of it and he needed something, needed someone.

"I can't." His voice broke. "I need some help." Sammy. "Please."

Dean let go.


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