Super Smash Bros.

Fast Love

"Here we are, girls!" announced Peach, as they arrived at Green Hill Zone.

"Finally," Samus grumbled through her mask, looking at the new field. "Where the heck did Master Hand find this place?" she asked, refering to the giant hand who ran the tournament.

"Now, Samus," said Zelda, looking at the blue sky. "I thought you wanted to come here. Why are you so angry?"

"I am not angry, I am pissed off beyound belief!" The curse got a gasp from both other girls. They were not used to cursing. Continuing, Samus spat, "I am sick of all those stpuid men hitting on me! If I'm lucky, none of them will know I 'm here."

Zelda shook her head. "Oh, Samus. Don't be silly. Not that many men hit on you."

"Besides," added Peach, "having all of those men can't be that bad. You can always count on them to wait in the lunch line for you. I haven't had to get my own chocolate milk in weeks!"

Samus rolled her eyes. "Well, the guys who like you aren't complete pervs!" She rubbed her gun on her rear end, growling. " My butt feels like a pin-cussion!"

Peach and Zelda couldn't help but laugh. Samus growled.

"Well," the bounty hunter declared, "at least it's girls' training day for us. We don't have to worry about those damn men today. Just us girls."

"Uh, actually..." Zelda looked away sheepishly.

Samus's left eye twitched. "What?" she asked, almost sounding insane.

"Well... You know how Jigglypuff was supposed to be our fourth?" Zelda recived a nod from both girls before continuing. "Well, she had a date with Meta Knight - do you know how cute those two are?! - um, anyway, she couldn't come, so I invited a new fourth. A man, actually."

"What?!" Samus grabbed Zelda by shoulders. "Please tell me it isn't Captain Falcon of Solid Snake!"

Zelda shook her head. "Don't worry, I didn't tell those two about it. It's actually-"

"Hey, ladies!" shouted a voice in the distance.

Samus turned her head and saw a blue blurr heading at them at a certain breakneck pace, leaving a rising trail of dust behind it. The blurr leapt through the hills, and soon Sonic the Hedgehog landed at Samus' feet. "You girls start yet?" he asked, grinning widely.

"Oh, no, not yet!" said Zelda, smiling. "Thank you for coming Sonic. Have you met Peach and Samus yet?"

"Can't say I have," said Sonic, shaking Peach's hand rapidly. "Nice ta meet ya!"

"Um... Likewise," said Peach, unsure of how to act with a talking hedgehog.

Sonic turned to Samus, his arm outstreched. Samus begrudgingly shook his hand. "Nice to meet you," she muttered.

"Nice to meet you too, dude," said Sonic. He turned his head to the sky and took a deep breath. "Ahh. Nice day, huh? Just like the first time I ran through this place."

Samus nodded. And then, the words hit her: Dude? He thinks I'm a boy?

"Oh!" said Peach. "So this is your course!"


"Great!" said Zelda. "The maybe you can give us some pointers!"

Sonic chuckled, and he and Zelda and Peach began to walk off, talking about the advantiges the course gave you. Samus stood dumbly behind, wondering if Sonic honestly thought she was a dude. Then again, the armor did have a tendency to hide her gender. If she hadn't told Master Hand her gender when she started this tournament, she could've avoided all of those perverts bugging her. Now she felt stupid for telling her gender. However, is she didn't she would have had to sleep in the boy's bunks, so the secret would've gotten out eventually.

"Samus!" called Peach. "You're lagging behind!"

"Coming!" Samus called, deepining her voice to mantain the illusion.

Zelda frowned, but said nothing at the deception.

Samus smiled under her mask: with any luck, this training match would be okay.

Samus hit the ground with a grunt. The warning alarm in her helmet began beating. Samus groaned mentally. Sonic was the fastest hedgehog on the earth, and he was showing it. Her lasers, along with Zelda's fireballs and Peach's turnip projectiles, were almost completely useless against Sonic's speed. After all, if you couldn't hit it your weapons were useless. Sonic was not holding anything back, which was good to Samus: she would hate if he was holding back because she was a girl.

But of course, Sonic didn't know that.

Samus began to get up, when Sonic bashed her with a spin-dash. She flew through the air and landed on the ground again. From the corner of her eye, she saw Peach get hit by Zelda and fall off-screen, KOing her. Samus stood up and prepared to get Sonic, when she saw a Smah Ball floating down. Sonic saw it as well and jumped to get it. Samus leapt a second later, and used Sonic's head as a bouncing platform, sending him to the ground.

Samus kicked the ball and gained her super attack. She hit the ground and knelt, preparing to fire the powerful Zero Laser. Zelda saw it coming and tried to run, so did Sonic, but Samus let the blast loose. A bright beam of energy that would be fatal if they were in a safety zone burst foward, engulfing her opponants. When the laser vanished, Samus grinned. That is, until her armor fell off, as a result of the attack.

She couldn't help but blush as her zero suit was exposed to the sunlight. She hoped she KOed Sonic: she didn't want him to see her like this.

"Hey! You're a chick!"

Samus grit her teeth as Sonic, who had evaded the attack by jumping of the cliff and holding on to the ledge. As he pulled himself up, he was staring at Samus' feminine form in suprise.

Samus pulled up her gun and opened fire. So much for a guy who doesn't just stare at my-

Sonic leapt up and spindashed just as Samus fire. He rolled right under her blast and struck her before she could retaliate. Samus flew off the stage and was KOed.

Sonic had won.

The Smashers sat down on the grass and began gasping for air after the grueling match. Samus' heart felt like it was going to explode.

Sonic grinned. "A chick! Who'duv thunk it?"

Samus shot him a withering glance.

Sonic chuckled. "Sorry. Anyway, you all did awesome!"

"Thank... *pant*," said Zelda, sweat rolling down her forehead.

"Yeah," said Peach. Poor Peach and Zelda. They were wearing heavy dresses, and they were weighing them down. Samus was wearing a skin tight outfit that was equally sweaty. Sonic, on the other hand, was almost completly naked, so he was pretty much good. Lucky rodent.

Sonic looked at the sweat soaked women and quickly ran off. He returned about five seconds later with three water bottles. "Here!" he offered.

The girls took them with smiley faces - even a small one from Samus.

Soon, they left for Smash Mansion, heading for the showers. Though Zelda and Peach were 100% happy, Samus was confused.

The hedgehog was nice to her. In this damn Tournament, every guy she had met was either a Pervert or taken by another girl. But...

Samus looked at the smiling hedgehog, who was chatting with Peach and Zelda. He looked over to her, and the two stared at each other for a second. Then, they hurridly turned away, blushing.

They said nothing to each other after that, but that quick look was all that Zelda and Peach needed.

It was matchmaker time!

Wow, I put that together in two days and managed to put in some JigglypuffxMetaKnight to boot. Awesome. Please see the next chapter, which feature perverts and humiliation.

This is Coli Chibi, signing off.