Title: Eight Inches
Author: l_anaki/hohlagh; aka Lord Anaki
Genre: Comedy, Romance (kind of)
Disclaimer: All characters you may recognize belong to J. K. Rowling, Warner Bros., and everyone else who makes Harry Potter possible. Also, I am making no money from the posting of this fic.
Warning: Slash. Language
"Boys and girls are not to be within eight inches of each other." Professor Umbridge announced over the intercom.
"Do you know what this means, Fred?"
"Sure I do."
The twins shared an identical grin and started to plan their next prank. Although they would like it to take place in the Great Hall where everyone could see, they decided to perform it in their 'Defense Against the Dark Arts' class. They just had to see the toad's expression close-up; besides, word spread around Hogwarts like wildfire. By the time dinner rolled around everyone would be talking about it anyway. The stretching couldn't hurt either.
Unfortunately they had to wait for two days before putting their plan into action. Neither Fred nor George were very patient. They fidgeted and jittered in all of their subjects, hardly paying attention to what the teacher said. Not that they really cared of course since they were only at Hogwarts to please their mother. They had no desire to continue their education because their joke shop was doing so well even if they didn't have a premise yet. Further schooling was just a waste of time and Umbitch—…I mean Umbridge—made it ten times worse.
"What are you two planning?" Lee Jordon asked that morning.
Fred and George were squirming worse than ever. Today was the day. They looked at each other and said simultaneously: "Nothing!" It wasn't very convincing though.
Lee just smirked and shook his head. He was used to their antics by now and their eagerness was infectious. He happily anticipated whatever they were planning. Together the three set off towards their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Fred and George sat beside each other while Lee was pushed off to the side a little. He sent them a glance (he usually sat in the middle), but he didn't protest.
"Remember students to write each line four times so that it sinks in." Umbridge intoned and a steady scratching of quills filled the room.
The Weasley twins didn't bother though. Fred laid his hand out on the table and George placed his on top. Their fingers entwined and George's thumb gently stroked the back of Fred's hand as they sat there quietly. They moved closer, knees almost touching, and Fred leaned his head against George's.
"Fred… not here." George said in a mock-whisper, which carried easily.
Several students turned and upon catching the two together in such an intimate position couldn't help but to stare. Fred smirked, gave them a wink, and then faked a sigh. "Oh, George, I can't contain myself. We were meant to be together."
Lee sniggered into his hand.
By now half the class was watching them. Umbridge could ignore it no longer so she cleared her throat pointedly. A high 'hem hem' broke the romantic atmosphere. Fred glared at her before moving even closer to his twin. They were practically sharing seats now. They were being watched intently by everyone in the room. With a dramatic flare they started kissing. It was not a fake kiss though; no, it was very passionate.
Several students gasped. Lee's eyes widened. Angelina's hand flew to her mouth. Alicia just gaped. How could this possibly be a prank? Umbridge quickly made her way over, heeled shoes clicking eerily in the heavy silence. She slammed her hands down on the desk, which made Fred and George break apart.
"What exactly are you two doing?" The Professor questioned in a falsely cheery voice.
"Kissing." They answered.
"No student is permitted within eight inches of each other."
"Ah ah ah." George tsked. "You said boys and girls aren't to be within eight inches of each other. You didn't say anything about boys and boys."
An ugly flush went across Umbridge's face. "No kissing."
"But, Professor, we're twins." Fred piped up.
"Yeah. Don't we deserve special privileges or something? We can't be eight inches away from each other. It's impossible."
"Detention!" Umbridge hissed.
"Good!" They both said. "All the more time to be together."
The class broke out in laughter. There was no doubt that Fred and George were the best pranksters in the school. The Professor was forced to retract her detention. The incident went around school like a contagious disease. By the end of the day eyewitnesses were convinced they had seen Fred and George shagging each other. The twins gladly kissed every time they were asked to plenty of applause.
This baffled a few of their closer friends, especially since they knew neither Fred nor George were gay, least of all involved with each other. That was just… ew.
"Students are not to be within eight inches of each other." Professor Umbridge announced that night.
Fred grinned. "You know what this means?"
"Yep. I guess that's the end of us."
Lee just snickered and shook his head. "Nicely done, guys."
It took hours for the Common Room to empty. Hours before Fred and George were alone again. Fred sighed as he leaned up against his twin. He felt an arm move around his shoulders and he relaxed. His mouth was soon occupied with all-too-familiar lips. After a few moments, he pulled away and chuckled breathlessly.
"And the best part is no one knows." Fred whispered.