TITLE : Awe-struck

AUTHOR: ameliakate aka:electricgurl
FANDOM: Dark Angel

GENRE: gen

LETTER: A for awe-struck - table # 10
(ADJ)having or showing a feeling of mixed reverence and respect and wonder and dread; "stood in awed silence before the shrine"; "in grim despair and awestruck wonder"

WARNINGS/SPOILERS: All the shows are open season, all stories will be taking place after the season finale.
DISCLAIMER:I do not own any part/plot/character/idea from Dark Angel. I am just using them to keep myself entertained.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: First part of the A-Z Challenge on L. I would also like to thank my wonderful new beta CHAOS for the help on this story.

Max already knew that there was no one left on the top of their newly appointed 'Freak Nation'. No one except her. And Alec of course. The recently raised flag flapped above their heads and Max couldn't tear her eyes away from it, even to look over at the other Transgenic. She knew she had treated him like shit today and he didn't deserve that from her, but she sucked at apologies. And he never seemed to need them, which worked out best for both of them. At least until just recently. She had welcomed him in and had befriended him, or tried to, until Logan managed to give her a way to fuck that up. She had to take it one step forward, had to ruin a friendship to prove a point.

She sighed and finally managed to tear her eyes away from the flag. To turn and look at Alec. She found his eyes locked on her and blushed. They were silent for a long time, just watching each other. Neither of them keen to break the silence as they stood meters apart just watching each other. If anyone had been there to see it they would have noticed the tension that stretched between the two of them, the pain and worry reflected in both sets of eyes. They would have seen what these two Transgenic super soldiers couldn't see. Their own feelings.

In the end, or is it the beginning? In any case it's the girl who speaks up first, taking a step towards him. Offering him, what seems to be a olive branch.

"I made sure that the ordinaries got out," she frowns at the word ordinary. But it fits, doesn't it, they aren't safe here, just like she isn't safe out there. They aren't the same. "Logan included. You were right, we couldn't work out here. Maybe if we were different people in a different time." She studies him as he nods and then his eyes meet hers. Finally.

"That all you have to say?" The hesitation is clear in his tone, if unfamiliar, and her hands twitch slightly, knowing he's right and she's wishing she could just swallow her damn pride and spit it out. She looks down then shakes her head as she looks back up. He deserves this, he's earned better from her.

"I'm sorry about at the flag raising, it was wrong. I just-"She felt her eyes getting misty and she turned her back to him, blinking rapidly to clear her sight. "I just forgot where I was for a moment, which is another reason he has to go. I don't think clearly when I'm around him. I'm sorry and I get that I did bad, big." She smiles a little, thinking of Joshua. Then she goes on, her voice practically choked with tears. "I don't think there is anything I can do to fix that now." She says hoping that she isn't about to lose her friendship with Alec, it's one of the last things holding her to this place.

After a long pause he finally speaks up

"Actually there is one thing." He says softly, this time he iss the one that takes a step forward. They were still can't reach each other but the gap is closing, her eyes dart over his face, trying to get a read on him.

"And what's that?" She asks, her heart racing slightly. She's unsure what is happening but she knows for sure that she doesn't want it to. Her body feels like it's getting ready for either a horribly long run or a fight, but she isn't sure which as she watches him move closer. The hair on her arms and back of her neck is standing up on end as he pauses, their eyes catching and holding and she's frozen.

"Either stop this ridiculous excuse for a relationship. I'm sure you have it working for your own reasons, but it's got to stop. You have to choose between having that and making it the real thing." He says it simply, as if he has spent more then enough time lately thinking about it and he knows that this was the only real choice she has left. Their eyes don't break apart and she is just happy that she has convinced her lungs to work again.

"I don't want to lose you Alec, please this is-"

"What Maxie? This is a hard choice? No, its not." His eyes burn into hers now and she feels the shame she has carried since she lied that night at Logan's penthouse, burn bright as day on her face. When, without his knowlegde or willingness she dragged Alec smack into the middle of her break up. Trashing his name in the process. She holds back the wince and determinedly keeps eye contact. "Either this is something that could happen or not. But this fake crap? It will kill whatever friendship we have Max, I can feel it already. So you have to make up your mind and you have to do it now."

"I can't! That's the problem Alec! After these past few weeks..." She trails off and shakes her head, "I don't know what I feel for you anymore. I thought that I would always see you as the jerk." She laughs a little bitterly. "Another test, breeding partner, clone of my brother, the one I murdered. I thought I'd always remember the fact that I was your mission at one point. But I can't just hold onto those things. I trust you, before Joshua, OC, Mole, heck even before Logan." She paused letting him soak up what she had said, but seeing that his mouth was about to open resumed her speech. She wasn't sure she could keep it up if he stopped her now.

"I see you as Alec now, not X5-494, not as a clone, or a solider. I've seen the man youv'e become over the past year and-" their eyes were still locked but the meaning was shifting. Their expressions were changing, both still tense but for a different reason. "and I could see myself with you. You are a leader, smart, reliable, cocky, trustworthy and a million other things and I don't know what to do with that Alec." She took a deep breath, "Please understand that I just need time."

Alec was silent as if sensing he wouldn't get a word in anywhere. He let her ramble on and he stood in silence, shocked silence but silence all the same. She asked for time and all his anger had already been drained from his body. He just nodded,

"Yeah Maxie, I can give you time."


next time:

The letter B for Bad-tempered.