A/N: Inspired by AVF and my new dog's funny antics, here's a special chapter. By the way, where is everyone?
Almost a month had passed. Integra felt fairly certain that if this didn't end soon, then it wouldn't at all. So far, Wynter and Alucard seemed pretty evenly matched as far as wits went. Alucard had life experience on his side, whereas Wynter had knowledge attained from traveling all over Europe. However, given Wynter's antics and Alucard's retaliations, Integra wasn't sure who was more devious. Clearly, Wynter was somewhat deranged after all she'd been put through over the years, carrying an elegant concern for humans as well as a secret sadistic side that she didn't often reveal. This was shown clearly by taking advantage of Integra's innate fear of spiders. But when Wynter wanted to be scary, she was freaking scary.
It was still early in the morning and Integra hadn't gotten very much sleep. Wynter had spent the night pacing around the mansion on the watch for Alucard. Fortunately, nothing had happened, but she could never be too sure.
She gasped in alarm as the smoke detector downstairs suddenly began to blare wildly. She bolted up, grabbed for her robe and scrambled to her feet. Upon opening her door, she caught the distinct pungent aroma of something burning down in the kitchen. She grimaced, hurrying downstairs, fully aware that it was still pitch black outside.
"Madam," she heard Walter say from down the hall. She turned, spotting the elderly butler already dressed but his hair still a bit scraggly and his monocle missing. Clearly, he'd just been preparing for the day when the commotion startled him.
"Walter, what's going on?" she asked.
"I'm afraid I don't know," he said, looking around as the smoke detector finally silenced. They exchanged wary looks, making their way toward the main kitchen. Just before reaching the door, they heard it;
"Damn it. Wynter, of all the ridiculous ideas you could have come up with,"
"Oh shut it, you're the one who set the oven to six-hundred degrees. I didn't even know they could go that high,"
Something clattered to the floor as they crept closer. Smoke poured out through the cracks in the door.
"Nice. Very nice, Alucard. Only you could set the recipe book on fire trying to turn on the microwave!"
"I don't cook, Wynter. I didn't think it was possible to burn a hole through a pan like that,"
" You see, the difference is that I actually CAN cook. You stink at it,"
She sputtered and coughed suddenly, "What the hell? Oh, real mature. Ugh, I'm covered in flour! Blech!"
"Serves you right."
Integra glanced at Walter in bewilderment, "What do you think is going on?" she whispered.
He chuckled to himself, "I'd dare say it's a temporary ceasefire apology for causing us so much trouble. I expect them to be at it again by noon, however. After all, that's what you called Wynter here for,"
The sudden out-of-control crashing sound of the mixer starting up startled them both and both vampires behind the door started yelling in alarm; "Agh! Alucard, you started it on fast! That's too fast, it's flinging flour everywhere!"
"Well don't just stand there, unplug the thing!"
"I can't! You're closer to the outlet! You do it!"
"I thought you said you can cook!"
"I can! But I'd do better if a certain idiot would listen to a damned thing I say now and again!"
"Oh, so this is my fault?" he snarled.
"Just turn that stupid thing off!"
A loud splatting sound met their ears followed by an eerie silence. They heard Wynter sigh, "Well, I hope Integra likes beige, because that's certainly not going anywhere anytime soon,"
Walter was doing his best not to either A, laugh or B, go in and see the extent of the damage. He silently motioned Integra to follow him away. Once out of earshot, Integra groaned, "The chef is going to go ballistic," she muttered.
"I'll make certain they clean it up, Sir Integra," Walter said, "In the meantime, you should at least give them credit for trying,"
"They probably assumed you'd forget anyway, so they decided to remember for you,"
He smiled knowingly at her, "Happy twenty-third birthday, Sir Integra,"
A/N: Isn't that cute? Alucard and Wynter attempting to put together a surprise birthday breakfast for Integra. Contrary to what you might think, Wynter and Alucard actually do get along. It's just a goofy relationship.