Chapter forty: Beat as One
August 23, Wednesday
She got into the kitchen and took out all she needed to prepare my favorite food. And I went to the bathroom for a quick shower. I hurried back so I could rest on a chair in the kitchen, and watch her.
We took it slow, my Nessie and me. Too slow, sometimes, but our bond was way to precious to not handle it with the most care. I wanted us to be alright so much. I hated to be scared. I hated that I still didn't trust her. With him.
I wanted our relationship to be perfect, but it never was from the start. We carried this past with us, a past in which I had abandoned her, ran off and married someone else. She forgave me without ever resenting me for it. And then there's her love for Jasper. It doesn't take away from her love for me, she's got plenty to give. But I would never have all of her heart.
No, it wasn't perfect. But it was still the most beautiful thing imaginable. It was still paradise, despite our struggles. Just to be with her. My girl.
And then it dawned on me.
That it simply didn't matter, all the rest.
If I had stayed with Eve a year longer, Ness would have still loved me, and waited for me. And if she should slip up again, and kiss Jasper, I would still love her as much, and forgive her again.
As long as we love each other most in the end.
If this was true, I didn't need to be scared anymore. And neither did she.
I don't have to be absolutely certain that she would never ever kiss him again, I only had to trust that she would come back to me, that she would try her very best not to hurt me and try to make me happy, and that she loves me most of all.
I already believed all those things.
With all my heart.
While I was realizing this, I noticed that she had turned off the stove and was standing in front of me, reading my thoughts, eyes watery. She wrapped her arms around me, and I held her too.
And something clicked into place again.
I only ever needed to grasp this.
She was my soul mate, and will forever be my soul mate. And her only flaw is caring too much about her best friend. And one of my flaws is being too possessive. So we both had to compromise. I had to let go, and she had to be careful.
We could do this. This was an issue before as well, only then we never talked about it.
"I feel the same" she whispered, as she straddled my lap to hug me closer "All the rest doesn't matter. It's only you and me. You are my soul mate, my wolf, my home, no matter what."
"I know," I answered "I have faith in that, in us."
I kissed her cold lips, warming them up with mine. And she kissed me back with fervent. Tears of relief and happiness were on her face, and probably on mine as well.
Maybe this is truly what forgiveness is about. Understanding that you still love them with all your heart, flaws and all.
"I would love you too, with al my heart, if I had one."
"You have one, honey. You can't hear it there, but I hear it here." I pointed at my chest "I'm keeping your heart safe with mine, and our hearts... they beat as one."
"Oh Jake, there's so much I want to say right now, to describe what I feel, but none of it seems enough."
"Then let's assume we both feel the same way. And don't say anything. Just make love to me."
She looked me in the eyes while she slowly got up. She took my hand in hers, and without breaking eye contact, we got upstairs to our bedroom.
I was no longer scared, I knew she was thinking about me. I knew I was her favorite person in the world.
My possessive side was giving me a break. Her eyes told me she was all mine, and that was all that was needed.
We kissed lovingly, just standing there, next to our bed. We undressed each other, hardly ever breaking the kiss. And then she lay back on the bed, pulling me with her. Her gaze was on my face, waiting for me to tense up again. But I didn't.
I knew I was home. I knew I belonged to her, and she belonged to me.
We were kissing again, while I entered her. Moving my hips slowly against hers.
We made sweet love. Tender, gentle, soft.
And it felt like the first time again. Even though we took it real slow, I didn't last long. But we didn't stop. We just kept kissing and caressing each other. Whispering new vows of love. From this day on, till the end of times.
We moved in unison. And made love again. Still caring, loving and very affectionate.
I moved deep inside of her, and this time she came too. Soon followed by me.
I grew tired. Much too soon. But I wouldn't sulk about my slow revalidation. Not right now.
We were laying tangled up on the bed, a little sweaty and very satisfied.
"I missed you so much, Nessie. I missed this. Our intimacy."
"Me too. But I'm glad I gave you time to feel this way again."
"I love you, Ness, forever."
No matter what.
"I love you too Jake, forever."
Kane – Our Hearts Will Beat As One
From this day on… I will be there for you.
From this day on, the crosses that I'll bear, I will now bear for you.
From this day on, my life will never part from what I see in you.
From this day on, vows taken from the heart, I will be here for you.
From this day on, your life won't show a sigh, of what they've done to you.
From this day on, forgiveness springs from blame, and it's here for you.
For the day has come,
For the day has come,
When our hearts will beat as one…
~*~ THE END ~*~
AN: This is it... The end of a journey for me and for you...
I want to thank you all for reading till the end!