Chapter 1 Birthday

"It's a wave from a car, as it exits the driveway it's that silent awkward motion, the goodbye that you didnt say It's that sad song on the line, that cuts right through your ribcage and gets stuck inside as the wheels kick dust in your view, you know the longer you look,
the further she'll get from you"

-Gemma Hayes "Sad Ol' Song"

It's September 13 again. I've received no phone calls or letters for the past year now. I'm starting to think maybe he really doesn't exist.

Maybe he was a dream after all. Of course he was not a dream. I know this because of the all the vivid memories I have. His touch, his face, and his smell. Some of the more precious moments I don't remember as clearly anymore. Our first kiss at our meadow I can't remember all the details anymore. That's what hurts the most these days. I can't remember the only things that keeps me going.

Everyday its a stuggle just to get up. I don't eat or sleep, so I have no energy, but today I'm going to put on a smile and try to be happy for Charlie. He deserves that much. Charlie is throwing me a birthday party. He says that will cheer me up.

Jacob hasn't come over in months. He's too busy with Sam and his pack. There all out hunting Victoria, but Billy says that he'll be back for the party. I hope so. I'm always alone. I need someone here with me. Someone to talk to.

I throw off my covers and walk to my closet. Careful to avoid to radio system Emmet gave me for my birthday. A year ago. Last year seems like forever-ago. Its like nothing matters to me anymore. I still have dreams, but there less frequent now.

About two months ago Charlie made go to the doctor. The screaming drove us both crazy. The doctor gave me pills. To help me fall asleep. I never sleep on his side of the bed. I can never bring myself to uncover the side. Its too sad.

I pull on a T-shirt and some blue jeans. I actually comb my hair free of tangles. look in the mirror and decide I look presentable. I look at the clock. Its 12:00, Billy, maybe Jacob, Sue, Harry, Quill, and Embry should be getting here. I take a deep breath, smile, and look in the mirror and make sure my smile isn't too fake.

Knock knock knock.

"Bella!" Charlie yelled from down stairs, "Billy, Sue, and Harry are here!" I start making my way downstairs and smile toward them.

"Well look at you!" Sue laughs. I miss laughing."Your just growing up." She smiles.

"Yeah I guess I am." Hoping my smile isn't too fake. Charlie sighs. I look at him only meeting his eyes for a short second before I look away.

Knock Knock Knock

"I hope that's Jacob." Billy says. Wheeling around to get the door.

"Just stay put, Billy." Charlie pats his back and turns to my and says,"Bella will get the door."

I nod. Making my way to the door, stopping when I hear "She looks so thin, Charlie and so sad. I barley saw any color in her eyes." Sue says worriedly.

"I know Sue, but there isn't a thing I can do." Charlie says in a whisper.

"Maybe you should give it to her. Maybe it will cheer her up." Sue says thoughtfully.

Knock knock knock

"Coming!" I yelled. Then I realize that Charlie and Sue didn't know I was standing here. That wasn't the smartest thing to do. The all look around the conor at me I turn around and walk to get the door.

I open the door to find Jacob outside in short sleeves and shorts. "Jake!" I yell throwing myself into his arms for a hug.
"Well hi." He smiles huging me back.

"Uh Jake, I can't breath." I studded.

"Oh ,sorry." He laughs." So how have you been?"

"I've been worse." I force a smile. "What about you? Got anything on Victoria?"

"Not a thing. We've been chasing her to Canada and she just keeps coming back. She must really have it out for you." He says sarcastically.

"Yeah she probably does. Its just not a normal year when something or someone isn't trying to kill me." I force a smile. "Oh! You have to be freezing! Come in." I say pulling him in and shutting the door behind him.
He gave me a disbeliving look and started laughing.

"I've really missed you Bells" He says patting my back.

"I've missed you too. You have no idea." I replied.

He took my hand and we walk into the kitchen. Clearly interupting some conversation they were having about me. "Where's Quill and Embry?" I ask trying to break the silence.

" Ummm, they had to finish up some work, back at La Push, but they sent your presents along with me." Jacob smiled.

I groaned. I hated people spending money on me.

"Where do you want these?" Jacob asked pulling two cards out of his pants pocket along with what looked like a neckless box.

"Uhh, you can just set them on the table." I said motioning to the table with my cake.

He sat them down and returned to my side, putting an arm around my shoulders. "Lets sing happy birthday to the bithday girl!" Jacob teased.

"Oh please no singing." I groaned. "Happy birth-" Jacob started to sing But I put cake in his face.

"Here, have some cake!" I laughed. Laughing felt good. I don't remember the last time I have laughed.

"Okay, okay kids. Settle down." Charlie said with a grin." Here let me at least light the candles, and you can open your presents." Charlie took out a lighter and lit my two candles that was a one and nine. "Okay make a wish." Charlie said holding his camera.

I sucked in a breath made a wish.

I wish more than anything that I could find Edward.

Then I blew out my candles. Everyone clapped.

"Okay time for present!" Sue chimed in. She handed me a small box.

I tore through the papper. Then it hit me.

FLASH! Open Esme and Carlise's gift, Bella!" Alice sang. "I tore though the all to beautiful rapping paper. Blood ran down my finger. FLASH! I was suddlenly push with great force into the Cullen's glass table. Blood ran down my arm. FLASH!

"Are you all right, honey?" Sue asked.

I nodded. I pulled the rest of from the box. I set the rappings on the table and opened the box. Inside the box was silver ear rings.

"Thanks Harry and Sue. There beautiful. Thank you." I smiled.

"Open mine now." Jacob grinned

Jacob and Billy's gift only had a simmple blue bow. I opened the slender neckless box. Inside the box was a beautiful Blue and white crystal like neckless.

"Its so beautiful Jake!" I pulled him into a hug. "Thank you both." I smiled

"I saw it in a store and thought of you. You want me to put it on for you?" He grinned unclasping the chain the held the neckless together.

"Sure." I said turning around. His always warm hands, pulled back my hair over my right shoulder.

He collapsed the chain of the neckless, and tuned me around and look at my neckless and into my eyes and mouthed the word "Beautiful."

I smiled

"Okay here open this. Its from me and your mother." Charlie said putting a big box on the table.


Charlie and my mother got me a new computer. My own lab top. I told him not to but of course he did.

Jacob and I sat on the couch setting up my computer. He read the direction while set my settings. After that was done, I invited Jacob to stay for dinner. We chatted and ate.

After he was finished , he announced that he had to leave. I walked him outside and gave him a hug.

"When will I see you again?" I asked.

"I can't make any promises but, maybe Saturday we could see a movie, or whatever you want to do. We could even hang out in my garage." He said hopfully.

"Sure. Do you want me to call you or you call me?" I asked unsure.

"I'll call you." He said quickly. I probably could count on seeing him Saturday. That made me sigh at he thought.

"Okay." I sighed.

"Bye Bella." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. " See you soon he breathed.

He climbed into the truck and started it. Charlie helped billy down our stairs and into his truck.

I waved and they waved back. I turned and headed inside. My hands were going numb.

"Thanks for my computer." I thanked my dad.

"Your welcome." Charlie smiled. "Happy birthday,kid."

What had Sue ment by 'maybe you should give it to her?' I was about to find out.

"Hey dad?" I called

"yeah?" Charlie replied.

"What were you and Sue talking about earlier?" I asked trying to sound uninterested.

"You shouldn't have been eavesdropping." He said sipping his coffee.

"You shouldn't have talking about me." I accused.

"Okay this came in the mail, addressed to you." He said looking down.

"Who is it from I asked." Looking at the beautiful gold laced box.

"It doesn't say." He said watching me very carefully.

I opened the box. Inside it was a copy of Wuthering Height. One of the best copies I've ever seen. Then I instantly knew who this gift was from. I sat the book on the table. Indide the box was a gold neckless, bracelet, and matching ear rings.

My heart was racing when I saw there was a letter. I opened up envelope.

The letter was written in Edward's beautiful handwriting.

It read.

Happy birthday, my Bella. May all your unique dreams come true.

I put my hand on my mouth to try to keep my sobs from alarming Charlie, but my attempts failed. I stood there by the kitchen counter shaking and crying.

"Oh honey. I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have gave it to you. I'm sorry." He tried to soothe me. Hugging me to his chest.