It all starts with a question: How to capture a Goth's heart for his own. Mike ponders how best to solve his dilemma, soon to come up with an idea, a theory. He calls it 'The Theory of Coffee'.


It's a chilly fall day. The Goth kids sit on the back steps of the school. Suddenly Mike walks up to Dylan with a steaming cup of coffee. He smiles, places the coffee in his hands, and leaves. Once he's a good distance away, he turns to observe Dylan's behavior.

The red haired Goth stares at the cup in his hands. Slowly, he raises it to his lips, taking a careful sip. Seconds later, he's drinking the coffee as if he himself had bought it.



Mike repeats this process for three weeks.

Each time he brings Dylan coffee, smiles, and leaves.

Time to see if the theory works.


It's a cold winter day and the days are only going to get colder. Mike is not taking his newly purchased cup of coffee to Dylan. Instead he sits on the merry-go-round with his fellow Vampires. He counts silently in his head.




An angry Dylan storms over to the group, glaring at Mike expectantly. He stops a foot away and crosses his arms.

Mike smiles and offers the still hot coffee. Dylan snatches it and walks off. The smile changes to a smirk.

Just as he thought.


Mike watches as Dylan approaches him every day for his coffee.

He's becoming dependent; he has started to accept Mike as a supplier of coffee. Subconsciously, the small Goth has come to the conclusion that Mike is not an enemy, but an essential friend.

Dylan comes for the next three weeks.

Once again, Mike needs to test his theory.


Dylan once again approaches the Vampire leader, stopping right in front of him and waiting expectantly.

He's about to be sadly disappointed; Mike has no coffee. The taller boy smiles sheepishly and shrugs. "Sorry, I forgot. We could go to a small coffee shop and I can buy you one though."

Dylan narrows his eyes, scowling cutely. Eventually he sighs.



Dylan has shown an amazing amount of tolerance for his Vampire 'enemy' for the past three weeks. Each day he joins Mike in a walk to the nearest coffee shop, and then waits patiently as Mike buys him a cup of coffee.

Either that or he's just tolerating Mike for the coffee.

Yet again it's time to test the theory.


Mike holds the coffee in his hands. He turns and finds himself face to face with Dylan, who's eager for his coffee.

Mike swallows. It's time for the big leap. The all or nothing. He's throwing all his cards on the table here.

"Kiss me. Right here, on the cheek. Then I'll give you your coffee."

Mike taps his cheek, staring at the Goth. He expects him to yell at him and storm out.

Dylan instead awkwardly pecks Mike's cheek and swipes the coffee, fleeing out the door in seconds. The stunned Vampire holds his cheek then smiles.

The theory is going strong.


Kisses for coffee.

That is how it is between the Goth and the Vampire for the three weeks.

What's more, as each day passes, Dylan stops fleeing after the kiss. Instead he calmly starts drinking his well earned coffee, the faintest hints of a blush staining his cheeks.

It's time for the final step. The last test before the theory is proven flawless.


"Kiss me on the lips now."

Dylan stares at Mike, expression carefully blank. Mike wonders if he's gone too far now, if this is the limit for his crush.

Suddenly Dylan crashes his lips against his, clutching the front of his jacket to keep his balance.

Mike is shocked; the coffee falls from his hands, unnoticed by the small Goth. After a while, his eyes drift close and he deepens the kiss. Instead of moving away, Dylan responds by tightening his grip.

When the two finally part, Dylan blushes, looking at his feet. No words need to be said.

Mike smiles and pecks his new lover's cheek. "I love you too, Dyl. Now would you like a new coffee?"

Dylan nods. Mike chuckles and turns back to the lady at the counter, his thoughts elsewhere.

The theory is solid. The best way to a Goth's heart is through his love of coffee.