This is the beginning of my story, I hope you all enjoy it.
SM owns all the rights to Twilight, I just borrow them for fun.
It was the worst moment I'd lived through in my life - standing there watching Mike banging his forehead against the steering wheel of his car through the passenger side window. It pained me just to stand there, unable to stop his reaction, knowing I was the one causing him so much misery.
...But what else was I to do?
I didn't love him anymore… I should say I'm not in love with him anymore.
A small hint of doubt hit me as I saw the pain in his face. The last six years that we spent together flashed before my eyes. The last year of our relationship wasn't very pretty, but it would have seemed perfect to anyone else looking in from the outside… Only we knew the truth.
The fighting, the hate and the possessiveness were too much for me. I knew I couldn't live my life like that anymore. But it didn't make watching his heart breaking right before my eyes any easier. Our relationship wasn't always terrible, for that I felt blessed to have been with him for so long, my first love….my first everything. It would have been so easy for me to take it all back, to pretend that everything was perfect even when we both knew it wasn't. But it would have been wrong to stay with him knowing that the flame that once burned for him was now dim.
I just needed to do this for myself. I stepped back away from his car as a single tear fell down my face. The wind blew across the empty parking lot as I quickened my steps towards my silver BMW. I had to get away from here, if I didn't I would go back. I hated hurting people I cared for; that vision of him would forever haunt me.
My thumb pressed frantically on the button that unlocked my car. I reached out and grasped the door handle, pulled the door open, slammed it shut and sank into the leather bucket seat. I exhaled loudly and allowed my tears to cascade further down my face as all my cruel words replayed in my head. I swiped my jacket sleeve across my cheeks, allowing the fleece material to absorb the moisture that was flowing freely now. My vision was blurred from tears. My shaky fingers finally pushed the silver key into the ignition after several missed attempts.
The loud purring of my car relaxed me instantly as the sensation spread its way through my body, right down to the tips of my toes. I closed my eyes and rested my head back, picturing happy memories of the day I purchased my car. I was so ecstatic. I had saved ten thousand dollars thinking Mike and I were getting engaged. Only too soon did I find out that he was nowhere near planning on purposing. The second I realized that, I went out and purchased my vehicle. I felt proud of my strength and independence and was happy to have realized where my relationship actually stood. Since then, I treated my car as though it were my baby, the proud purchase I made to prove to Mike that I wasn't going to sit around forever.
Ever since then, you could say that my car was also my psychiatrist, there for me always. It was there for the happy days, when I was blaring my music and singing out loud with friends. It was also there for the shouting matches that ended up with me crying all the way home.
I opened my eyes, feeling desperate to get away. However, I couldn't move. My hand felt attached to the black leather shifter, and my feet felt plastered to the floor, as though a ton of bricks were weighing them there.
...Am I doing the right thing?
The doubt crept back up again as I stole a glance through my rear window. Mike's blue Celica was still sitting in the stall across from mine. It was just the two of us in the empty lot of the restaurant he worked at. I knew what time he would be off tonight and came here at the end of his shift, knowing we could be alone.
I finally exhaled, forcing all the air out of my lungs and managing to push down on the clutch and pull the shifter back into reverse. The car moved back effortlessly as I easily shifted to first and steered the car to slowly drive past him.
...Good bye Mike.
After driving for an hour, I finally managed to calm myself enough to head home. As I looked down at time on my dash's radio, a shudder came over me. I pulled up slowly, stopping in front of my parent's two-storey brick home. I was really late. I quietly unlocked the deadbolt and turned the handle as gently as I could.
I tip toed down the hall and was surprised to hear the television playing.
"Bella?" My father's voice startled me. I could hear the frustration in it.
"Sorry, Dad," I said as I stopped in the doorway of the living room.
"Do you know what time it is?" He stood up from the couch, his face stern and unimpressed.
"Yes." I looked down to the tiled floor, knowing I was late and that I kept him up.
I didn't have a curfew per say, but my father was old school and didn't want us out frolicking in the middle of the night. I couldn't blame him. Out of all my friends I was the only one that didn't get knocked up or into big trouble.
He knew everything that happened in this town. There was no hiding anything from the Chief of Police. I couldn't even skip school with my friends because there was always someone watching.
I looked up to see him shaking his head. I knew there was nothing else to be said. "Good night, Dad," I said as I walked down the hall and towards the staircase. I wasn't looking forward to waking up in the morning to the realization that I broke Mike's heart.
Mike was like the son my dad never had. They would go ice fishing together in the winter and hunting in the summer. I actually broke up with Mike once before, but he promised to change and I took him back like a hopeful fool. My dad was so happy, telling me how proud he was for sticking with him. Remembering that time now, I wished that I had not gone back to him then.
I slowly took the steps to the second floor and stopped at the first door to my right. I could see soft lighting creep underneath the door, indicating that my sister was still awake. "Alice?" I whispered, hopeful that I was right.
"Bella?" she was shocked to see me enter her room.
Still wearing my outside jacket, I flew onto her bed and into her arms. I let myself go once again, sobbing my sorrows away. I hid nothing from Alice, she knew everything about me inside and out.
"Bella, stop please," she pleaded. It pained her to hear me like this, but I couldn't hold it in. I felt so alone, I knew nothing else but Mike and Bella…Bella and Mike. "Shhhhhhhhsssssh," she repeated as she held me tight until I drifted into unconsciousness.
The morning came quickly. I pressed my face deep into the pillow, forcing any bright light away. I suddenly felt frightened that last night may have just been a dream, that I actually never broke up with him and I had yet to actually go through with it. But as I rolled over, I opened one eye and was relieved to see the bright pink curtains that hung from Alice's window. I was lying alone in her bed, tangled up in her white fluffy comforter. It wasn't a dream.
I finally managed to roll out of bed. I felt like a bag of shit. I stared at my reflection in the mirror; I definitely looked like shit. I had mascara stains under my eyes, they refused to come off as I attempted to rub them away.
I head to the bathroom to wash my face but I stopped mid way there upon hearing familiar voices downstairs. I stepped to the edge of the staircase and stood there listening to them fight.
"You need to fix this," my father's voice was strong and accusing.
"Charlie!" My mother's voice was finally loud enough for me to hear.
They were fighting about me. I headed down the stairs knowing I couldn't let my mother take the blame for my actions.
"How am I…" my mother stopped as soon as I stepped into the kitchen. "Bella, sweetie." she greeted me as she stepped away from my father, her delicate skin flushed red.
"Why are you arguing?" I asked them both as I stood at the table.
My parents hadn't been happy for a long time, but "divorce" was not in my parent's vocabulary. They had said more then once to me that breaking up with Mike after six years would be like a divorce all on its own.
As unhappy as Renee is, she keeps going because she felt that was what she was supposed to do. That you stick through the tough times, for richer for poorer blah blah blah.
I know my father blames my mother for everything, for raising his daughters to be so independent and shit. My mother doesn't even have her license, always needing one of us to drive her wherever she needed to go. The day Alice and I were able to get our licenses, Renee forced us to sign up. She did not want us to live a life like hers.
"Well, your father was just telling me what time you came home last night." She sat down in the chair in front of me, finally answering my question. She looked tired, her eyes bloodshot from the obvious tears that Charlie caused.
"I broke up with Mike last night." I stood there strong as I watched my mother's eyes fill with tears. My father leaned his body against the counter, arms crossed.
"Well, you will have to make up then," his voice was cold and mean.
"I don't love him, Dad," I spoke rudely, knowing he wouldn't change his mind.
Renee was now sobbing in her chair, her face hidden in her arms. But I held my ground, knowing whole heartedly I did the right thing.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I stared into Charlie's eyes.
"Well don't think that now that you're single you're going to whore it up around town." He pushed himself off away from the counter and stormed off to the back of the house.
...Whore it up?My God! I was twenty-one and only been with one guy. Half my friends can't even keep track of all the guys they had been with; two hands weren't enough to count them with. I stood there in shock. I wasn't expecting him to say those words.
I looked back to my mother who was looking up at me now. She looked so fragile, her arms thin and weak, her hair in complete disarray. "He only wants the best for you," she spoke softly, defending the man I call my father.
"If I stay with Mike, I know I will regret it my whole life!" I stepped behind her chair and hugged her from behind. "Mom," I kissed her on the cheek, "You are not happy anymore."
I waited for her to answer, but nothing was said. She knew where I stood. I don't believe in divorce but I don't believe in staying in a relationship when you are brutally unhappy. I told her numerous times to leave Charlie, but it was her life and I could only do so much.
"I'm fine Bella," she grabbed my hand as she stood up from the table. "If Mike doesn't make you happy, then he doesn't deserve you." She threw her arms around me. "Go talk to your father; he didn't mean what he said," she whispered into my ear.
I kissed her softly before I walked angrily towards the garage. How dare he say the whore word to me when I gave him nothing to warrant it? I was furious by the time I entered the garage. I stopped mid step once I recognized the noise I heard. I stepped closer to his police cruiser, its engine getting louder as I approached. My heart began to break as I realized my father was crying. He didn't notice me standing in front of his car watching him sit on the floor, his head pressed between his knees.
"Dad?" I stepped closer.
"Uhh.. Oh... I," he stood up, quickly wiping the tears away from his face. "I was just...
"Crying," I finished his sentence.
We stood there, a few feet away from each other in complete silence. After a few moments he stepped closer to me, embracing me in his arms. "Does Mike make you happy?" the pain was clear in his voice.
I pressed my cheek into his chest. "Not anymore."
"Do you love him?"
"Yes…" I couldn't lie. "But I'm not inlove with him."
Charlie pulled away so he could look at me in the eyes. "Then you made the right decision." He swallowed the lump that was stuck in his throat.
"What?" I asked in complete shock.
"Bella, I don't want you to end up in a relationship like mine and Renee's." His voice returned to the warm comforting sound I grew up with. "As much as I like Mike, I believe you when you say you're unhappy."
"Dad," I threw my arms around his waist, needing him to take away all my pain. I knew this side of Charlie could only last so long, the unhappy man that overtook my father returned with a vengeance.
"But if you think I'm going to allow you to go all crazy now," his voice morphed back to Chief Charlie again, "no daughter of mine will be the talk of the town."
I rolled my eyes at his warning.
"I mean it Bella," he stood there, arms crossed. "If you are not with your sister your curfew is midnight."
"What?" I shrieked. He stood there motionless. "Fine." I knew I had no choice as I stomped out of the garage like a toddler.
"Ugghh!" I stomped loudly up the stairs and passed the bathroom towards my room.
"What's the matter?" Alice asked as she towel dried her hair in my doorway.
"I have to be home by midnight unless I'm with you" I looked at her with annoyance. Just because she was twenty five my dad saw her as mature. She had a head on her shoulders, a career and her virginity. She could do nothing wrong in his eyes, and at times it pissed me off.
I watched as her smile grew wide and a deafening squeal escaped her lips. "You're coming to the bar tonight," she didn't ask, she demanded. She opened my closet door wide and started searching through my clothes.
"I hate the bar," I whined as I sat down on my bed.
She had been begging me to come out with her and her friends since I turned twenty one but I never cared to go. Guys at the bar only wanted one thing, and since I was with Mike there wasn't a point in going. But as she rambled on about me meeting this Brad guy that she liked, I actually became excited to go out.
"He is sooooo cute Bella," she came towards me, a pair of stilettos in her hands.
"Does Brad have any friends?" I asked as a joke, knowing it was too soon to date anyways.
"Well, the guys we hang out with, you can't like," she stood with her hand on her hips. "You're not allowed to like the guys that we like, deal?"
I was taken back by her demeanor. "I'm not looking anyways," I reassured her. After a few seconds of silence her bubbly self returned.
"Make sure you wear that," she pointed to the clothes she picked out as she winked at me. "You're newly single," she hugged me with eagerness, "It's time to celebrate."
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